ErosBlog Bacchus

Sex blogging, gratuitous nudity, kinky sex, sundry sensuality. Since 2002. Still going strong after 20+ years! Not the first sex blogger, maybe the stubbornest. He/him

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ErosBlog_at_kinkyelephant.com@mostr.pub

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nprofile1qqsqvt60numutr4kfq8vyrnj37vqkhlv3tg4sd3pkf8sny5qyyjvmwq3ha4ar

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npub1qch5l8ehck8tvjqwcg889rucpd07ezk3tqmzrvj0pxfgqgfyekuqaz48cl

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Last Notes

2024-11-14 20:13:51

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@nprofile…k46h The AUP (acceptable use policy) under "legal" at the bottom of their front page in paragraph 2 prohibits "child pornography, bestiality, nonconsensual sex acts, or any other obscene sex acts" as any US-based host must -- the illegal stuff. Legal-in-the-USA porn isn't prohibited. Perhaps you were looking at the "Website terms of use" document? That one does have the standard universal boilerplate, but it's not the one that governs what you can host with them.
https://cdn.masto.host/kinkyelephant/media_attachments/files/113/483/059/496/522/049/original/5c02db88db604b1f.jpg

2024-11-08 16:55:54

If you're worrying about the security of your adult hosting in an increasingly porn-hostile world (#USPol) may I recommend Mojohost?
https://cs.mojohost.com/aff.php?aff=35
I have been #hosting with #Mojohost since 2004, precisely BECAUSE they are committed to serving and supporting their #adult and #porn industry customers no matter what happens. Yes, that's twenty years now!
Mojohost's owner Brad Mitchell just released "Statement on Project 2025 and the Future of Adult Entertainment". See my next posts.

2024-10-19 23:12:23

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In the course of this adventure I had two sub-adventures.
First I discovered that there was a K-Mart in walking distance of the Union City BART station, something that I had not previously figured out how to get to easily from my downtown SF student-housing address.
2nd, on the way to the industrial park I passed a Mexican bakery, went inside, and discovered the wonderful world of Mexican pastries, which I had never encountered before. I spent more on pastries than I did on software that day.

2024-10-19 23:09:08

Life before smartphones: In 1992 in San Francisco I wanted some cheap computer games. I found a discount software ad in a paper computer magazine for a software store at an address in Union City. The BART (subway/transit) map had a Union City stop, so I got on and rode there. Looked at a bus map in the Union City station to orient myself, started walking. 25 minutes later I found the address in a scary industrial park.
Bought a DOS copy of Reach For The Stars for $3.00.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reach_fo

2024-09-26 18:15:02

Hey, a 2024 media etiquette question for y'all.
When a media org posts a paywall-blocked link, is it rude to reply to their thread with a working link from a site like archive.is?
On the one hand, creators want/need to get paid. On the other hand, posting a busted link is a universally-reviled bait-and-switch marketing tactic: "Here's a link, no, psych! It's not really a link, it's a marketing promotion; if you followed this thinking it was a link, we just wasted your time, neener neener."

2024-09-20 17:54:42

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No, I don't have a snappy conclusion. I'm just thinking "those stupid fuckers have opened a Pandora's Box that could change the world, and I've had this feeling before, and I was right."
Hang on to your asses, comrades. And learn to whittle.

2024-09-20 17:36:10

Shortly after 9/11 when I first became aware of combat drones (then mostly light RC aircraft firing missiles, usually at the weddings/funerals of the families of supposed enemies of the United States) I had the one obvious thought:
"This Is Fine™ but what happens when the supposed enemies of the United States start DRONING BACK? When tiny drones swarm & shoot bullets at the heads of important personages from six inches away? How will we like it? We will not like it."
I still have this thought.

2024-09-20 00:51:06

I am a following slut which means that I see a lot of weird takes cross my feed.
Recently I have been seeing an awful lot of Pollyanna-style neoliberal takes about how the system is working and Utopia can be ours if we all just vote a little harder and give more back to our communities. Basically bourgeois counsel to stay the course and not to rock any boats.
I can't shake the idea that these sentiments are being planted propagandistically by parties who benefit from a lack of change.

2024-09-18 23:53:23

I just saw a reply guy on here arguing that "reply guy" is just a bubble-defining slur against people whose opinions you don't want to engage with.
A quick look at reply guy's bio and he is all about the Church of The SubGenius signifiers: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_SubGenius
There's substantial Venn diagram overlap between annoying internet trolls, people who think SubGenius stuff is entertaining, and people who hide trolling behind "I'm just here to ask questions and challenge your opinions" nonsense.

2024-09-18 23:32:03

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I don't think I'll ever look at cheap generic connected "goddess only knows where it was made" small electronic devices the same way again.

2024-09-18 23:25:36

I've been a neutral bystander in the "whose device is best" wars since it was a competition between Apple II and/or Macintosh and PC clones with DOS. For 40 years I've used whatever was cheapest or a free hand-me-down.
If you had told me I'd find a new reason in 2024 to prefer Apple stuff over more open designs, I'd have scoffed.
But if there's one company I trust above all others to design to such a tight standard that there isn't room inside a phone for three grams of explosive, it's Apple.

2024-09-18 23:07:04

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It helps that LinkedIn has always been a #pornocalypse platform. If the NSFW tag I hate so much was a platform, that platform would be LinkedIn. Their TOS: "Do not share material depicting nudity or sexual activity."

2024-09-18 23:06:07

Watching people agonize about LinkedIn using their stuff on that platform to train AIs and I realized: I have been self-employed longer than LinkedIn has existed so I've NEVER had a LinkedIn profile, account, login, or whatever they call it over there. So they don't even have any of my stuff.
I never needed to be on LinkedIn. I wonder how rare that luxury is?

2024-09-15 19:38:08

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@npub1593…yrqx 😀 Truly there are so many.

2024-09-15 19:32:24

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@npub1593…yrqx My favorite Oglaf panel:
https://www.erosblog.com/2013/05/05/get-hydrated-ladies/

2024-09-15 19:27:38

Last night on my social zoom the most conservative of us (he complains about his socialist students) wanted to talk about how workers have "priced themselves out of the market" as an explanation for mass corporate layoffs and investment in automation.
I asked him "why frame it that way instead of asking why corporations haven't priced THEMselves out of the labor market with their unrealistic profit expectations?"
My other friend who is the secretary of her union local beamed at me SO HARD.

2024-09-14 20:51:41

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@npub1lrv…tth9 This is the language of the lynch mob.

2024-09-13 00:08:31

"Damsel in distress" pulp art:
https://www.erosblog.com/2023/02/09/rescue-or-ravishment/
#Pulp #PulpArt #Bondage #Gagged #Damsel #DamselInDistress #WiP #WomanInPeril

2024-09-12 23:56:15

A woman, a light skirt, a warm day, a fan:
https://www.erosblog.com/2012/05/25/hot-girl-cooling-down/
#HotDay #Summer #Fan #Skirt #Upskirt #Panties #Pussy #Cool #Breeze #Breezy #Hot #HotSummer

2024-09-12 23:42:35

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@npub1ffa…kswh My understanding is that another pre-latex technology was very thin leather (apparently some kinds of leather can be split very thin) with draw string or ribbon to secure.

2024-09-12 23:32:28

Did you ever wonder what condoms and cock rings looked like in 1822 Japan? Of course you did!
https://www.erosblog.com/2020/10/11/1822-condom/
#Condom #CockRing #Prophylactic #SexToy #Sex #Shunga #Japan #Japanese #JapaneseArt #JapanesePorn #Kinky

2024-09-12 23:23:16

This illumination in a medieval manuscript looks like a pretty good party, actually:
https://www.erosblog.com/2017/11/29/dance-and-play/
#Naked #Nude #Dancing #Medieval #Roman #Pagans #Illumination #Manuscript #AnimalEars

2024-09-11 22:18:14

Today, a wild adventure in "season to taste".
Made a big pot of vegetable broth. Usual plan is to taste broth and season/adjust before throwing in noodles.
Broth was super flat. Needed adjustment. Acid and sweet, but more acid than sweet.
Looked at balsamic vinegar bottle, but it ain't cheap. Then got wild idea.
There's a big jar of shrub (sweetened cheap vinegar w/fruit & herbs) in the liquor cabinet. Fruit is pears, spices are lemon thyme and lemon balm.
*glug*glug*glug*stir*
Perfect!

2024-09-11 22:08:35

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@npub1a4k…l47t I am forced to be a function radical because the early telegraph network in the USA was, and was explicitly used as, social media by the community of telegraph operators.

2024-09-11 21:53:44

I follow some dudes on podcasts (or talky YouTube) for analysis of global economic and military affairs. (I was a policy nerd long before I was a blogger.) Most of these people make their money as consultants and paid speakers, globetrotting around from gig to gig.
My pattern-finding brain has found a pattern: Whenever they go quiet for a few days longer than expected, they'll admit to (or show signs of) Covid upon their return.
Not every time, no. But the pattern has major predictive power.

2024-09-11 17:11:20

Alarming Experience of Fair Bathers Who Are Attacked by an Octopus: Illustrated Police News (1896)
https://www.erosblog.com/2015/08/24/hey-ladies-wanna-play/
#TentacleSex #Tentai #Tabloid #Vintage #Octopus #Tentacles #Beach #Swimming #Seaside #SeaMonster #Lurid

2024-09-11 17:00:15

If you play it right (which nobody does these days) bobbing for apples is a refreshingly kinky game:
https://www.erosblog.com/2010/11/17/bobbing-for-apples-depression-style/
#Apples #BobbingForApples #HandsTied #Bondage #Dunking #Dunked #GetWet #GettingWet #PartyGames #Game #Vintage #Kinky #Kink

2024-09-10 20:08:28

Today the discourse appears to be about some sort of MAGA bullshit involving Haitian immigrants eating pets.
But here's the thing: I'm so old I remember my elders routinely cracking jokes about getting served cats in Chinese restaurants. It was a whole thing: making cracks about how we never see any cats near Chinese restaurants, poking at the meat in the buffet and meowing, etc.
It took hearing the tropes recycled for me to realize I hadn't heard the old ones for years.

2024-09-10 05:15:06

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From my ErosBlog post: "Once challenged, you know how I simply MUST look into these things."
#Provenance #Curation #Debunking #Research #Images #ImageResearch

2024-09-04 23:48:54

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@npub1yke…6hgn Piracy is curation!
#PiracyIsCuration

2024-09-04 19:54:03

I don't know whose corporate masters were served by this bit of "reporting", but CNN just showed me a clip of a smooth-brained idiot in Nebraska explaining how she's going to vote for Donald Trump because "I trust him to keep his promises and do what he says he will."
Apparently she slept through all four years of "next week is infrastructure week".
How come people this gullible won't ever play poker with me?

2024-09-02 21:23:03

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There's no sign of it either in any of the public torrent indexes that I know. But all the best parts of the torrent scene are, for obvious reasons, private, and I haven't ever made the effort to ingratiate myself in those communities. I've heard rumors of private torrent sites that focus on music videos among their collecting interests. If anybody has that kind of access and wants to check for me and my patron, that'd be awesome!

2024-09-02 21:20:14

Are any of my ErosBlog readers by some miracle SUPER plugged in to the music video downloading/collecting scene?
As part of my services for patrons, I'm looking for the "secret stripper version" of the "Throat Full Of Glass" video of the Combichrist song. Not the 5:06 official "Dirty" version that's on YouTube but the 4:46 version described as "an alternative video where it's just the music and the full pole dance."
All links I found are to Vimeo, whence it's long gone. No Wayback joy either.

2024-09-02 20:06:45

The older I get, the less patience I have for people who tone police you on social media without going to the effort of making an actual objection to your words.
You say something and they'll quote it with a bunch of question marks and an exclamation point, say. The implication is that they don't like what you said. But they don't say WHY. They don't make an argument you could defend against. They just assume that the rules of discourse in their bubble are universal.
Yeah. They can fuck off.

2024-09-02 03:57:21

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@npub185y…wcuq 550 years ago, anyway!

2024-09-01 04:57:54

Brother in law travelled to a distant coast, flew back a week ago after a month doing fuck knows what. Arrived home and was sick as a dog two days later. Took an at-home Covid test right away, was negative, so it's "not Covid" and he hasn't taken another one. Sore throat, flu-like fever, feels like hammered shit, CONTINUES to feel like hammered shit after days and days.
He got vaccinated in 2021 (massive reluctance) but never boosted. If this is Covid, it's his 2nd or 3rd case. He never masks.

2024-08-31 18:25:41

Apropos of nothing in particular (of course I lie) there's a thing I do whenever I hear some politician promise to "reach across the aisle" or "build a team of rivals" or "give one of our enemies a valuable position of trust within our administration."
The thing I do? I vomit.
Tens of millions of people donated their blood, sweat, tears, and treasure to get you elected, and you want to give valuable prizes to the other team? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

2024-08-30 03:19:48

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@npub1y0k…dhyh The grass for 100 feet in all directions from his grave is going to turn brown and wither from overwatering and over-fertilizing.,

2024-08-29 21:53:04

Elon Musk's X says that a link to National Public Radio is "unsafe".
Gee, which of these two sources do I trust less? So hard, so hard to decide!
https://www.engadget.com/social-media/x-is-labeling-an-unflattering-npr-story-about-donald-trump-as-unsafe-163732236.html

2024-08-29 03:41:56

I was wondering why someone on a social media platform with no algo would make 58k posts while only having one follower, and that is how I learned after two years on the platform that it's possible to keep your followers list private. 😀

2024-08-29 02:22:30

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See also: "Anybody can be a puppy girl if petted properly."
#PuppyGirl #PuppyGirls #Pet #Petting #Petted

2024-08-29 00:47:52

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@npub1kd6…w72f Well, they never sued Paul Krassner at The Realist for publishing Wally Wood's Disneyland Memorial Orgy...
https://www.erosblog.com/2006/10/05/disneyland-memorial-orgy-take-2/

2024-08-28 23:24:30

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@npub1a4l…6ga4 #UpSkirt #BannedOnTwitter

2024-08-28 21:46:02

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Gentle reminder that I'd have time to do a great many more trivial but naughty shenanigans if my Patreon were more enthusiastically subscribed. Nudge, hint, wink, link in bio.

2024-08-26 02:32:43

I take pride in the strangest things.
For example: if you search for "space orgy" on Google image search with so-called "Safe Search" turned off, an ErosBlog post is prominent on the top line of results.
A win is a win.
#SpaceOrgy #Space #Orgy #Movie #Superwoman #1979 #1970s #SciFi #Porn

2024-08-15 01:42:46

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Photographic proof of domestic cake-baking frenzy.
#Baking #Cake #CakeBaking #Mess #Kitchen #Frenzy #Eggs #EggYolk #Yolks
https://cdn.masto.host/kinkyelephant/media_attachments/files/112/963/483/463/018/443/original/23aa921da6517022.jpg

2024-08-11 17:29:36

Quoting myself: Whenever the word ovipositor comes up in your discussion of sex toys, you know you’re getting into the good stuff! (See also “alarmingly fleshy in the mouth”.)
https://www.erosblog.com/2023/05/03/xenomorph-facehugger-gag/
#SexToy #Alien #FaceHugger #SciFi #Ovipositor #PenisGag

2024-08-03 20:33:35

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but: Narwhals!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc
🎵 "...just don't let them touch your balls, they are Narwhals..."🎶

2024-07-26 01:01:00

I just saw this sentence on an actual real life website. Fun game: how many things can you spot that are wrong with it?
"Interoperable with web2 and web3 protocols like ActivityPub, RSS, DNS, Bitcoin, Ethereum, Stripe and more."
I so deeply want to believe that no flesh-and-blood human being could have written that sentence.

2024-07-25 21:32:33

For unspeakable reasons there is suddenly a lot of talk about couch fucking on my timeline.
I have (a photo of) the perfect couch for it:
https://www.erosblog.com/2014/05/03/the-couch-of-gleaming-pussies/
#Couch #CouchFucking #Fucking #Sex #Furniture #FurniturePorn #Porn #Vance

2024-07-11 17:27:22

One thing that happens when you spend twenty years writing 7,000 posts on a sex blog: double entendres become automatic in your writing. When choosing between two words, or two metaphors, you'll pick the one with the most salacious connotations and lewd associations. It's conscious in the sense of knowing that I'm doing it -- you could even call it a job skill -- but it doesn't require specific extra thought or work.
Sometimes this bleeds over into my other writing. Which can make things weird.

2024-06-14 20:23:54

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@npub13c0…4520 Kink spaces are at their very best when they function (by accident or design) as found/constructed families.

2024-05-29 01:09:16

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@npub15lg…76mu Yeah, I should have specified, but character limitations. Context was USA, person's profile contains indicia of wealth.

2024-05-29 00:46:45

Fuming mildly after seeing a personal anecdote designed to make men like me more comfortable with the notion of seeking emergency medical care in ambiguous situations that might be, but probably aren't, a heart attack. "Just go to the nearest ER and get checked out, it's the wise and smart thing to do, your wife will love you for your commitment to staying alive for her!"
It's also a quick way to incur more debt in an afternoon than some of us make in a year. Not such an easy decision to make.

2024-05-22 02:13:49

My shitty but subsidized ACA health insurer just sent me a 16 page letter through the mail to tell me that a 15 dollar charge had not been paid to my provider because it was billed on the incorrect form.
Nowhere in those 16 pages did it say what the charge was for, although it did reference a "line number" in a document not otherwise identified.
What a system. #Health #Insurance #USA #Ra #Ra #Ra #Winning

2024-04-24 17:08:45

There is only so much boot licking I can tolerate before I block an otherwise-friendly and perfectly pleasant mutual.

2024-04-04 19:36:16

Weeks before I saw the first mainstream press story about how "Squatters have become a right-wing talking point even though they are vanishingly rare" story, I was seeing panicky headlines about squatters in all of my feeds where my anti-nonsense filters are weakest. Because I do sometimes watch prank videos, I was especially seeing "Look at the nasty cruel thing this genius hero landlord does to squatters" vids in recommendation algos.
Squatters are the new shoplifting gangs, I guess! #Fear

2024-04-04 17:08:06

Someone in your house buys/eats cooked chicken. Your dogs and cats (who are STARVING) want those bones and scraps SO BAD. But conventional wisdom says bad dog, no kitty, mustn't have.
Here's what you do. Bus those plates. "I'll take these to the kitchen, dear!" Steal those bones and scraps. Accumulate in freezer.
Later when house is empty: InstantPot! Cover bones with water. 20 minutes. Separate/discard bones. Pour beautiful rich nourishing broth over boring pet food in dribs/drabs for DAYS.

2024-03-31 16:34:55

I haven't heard the album yet, probably won't ever hear it except whenever various songs trickle in through the membranes of my social media bubble. But I can tell you right now, I don't need a bearded white man in the Washington Post to tell me what I ought to think about Beyoncé’s country music album.
https://cdn.masto.host/kinkyelephant/media_attachments/files/112/191/261/211/899/704/original/03dfec574a6b6077.jpg

2024-03-29 17:38:45

So far every troll or serious asshole I've encountered on Mastodon has appeared to show up based on following one of my hashtags and they all trace back to small instances which are at-a-glance obviously set up to be a nest for trolls and an eyrie for the pernicious memes that travel in flocks.
The asshole who blamed my dogs' chronic pain on the "toxic" spray cheese I use for pill bribes was a covid denier and crypto promoter from a "libertarians fleeing censorship" themed server.

2024-03-16 18:14:31

I don't disagree, but it's a complex/hard problem embedded in a bunch of other hard problems. And remember, the #pornocalypse is a cultural phenomenon: specifically, it arises out of the prudish culture of bankers and investors. I've spent more than a dozen years trying to figure out WHY money men (almost always men) are so prudish, and I don't have an answer yet. But they are.

2024-03-15 21:40:34

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I'm not a Gumroad user, so I got the news here on Mastodon, thanks to Alkaris:
https://meow.social/@Alkaris/112101177617380863

2024-03-15 20:34:03

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@npub1l9t…vatz The #Pornocalypse comes for Gumroad
http://www.erosblog.com/2013/05/01/the-pornocalypse-comes-for-us-all/

2024-03-14 04:45:10

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Here's Clara Bow eating a hamburger:
http://www.erosblog.com/2016/08/07/feeding-clara-bow/

2024-03-14 04:42:45

Today I learned that a man at an open air auction in a parking lot in Omaha Nebraska bid twenty bucks for a shrink-wrapped pallet of old 35mm movie prints because he wanted a cartoon he could see through the shrink wrap. And that's how he accidentally bought the only known copy of a 100-year-old silent movie called "Pill Poppers" starring film legend Clara Bow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yEeWWuJWAY

2024-03-14 04:35:52

There is no way in which banning TikTok won't end in tears for the clueless gerontocrats presently scheming to do that.
They literally do not understand the generation they are proposing to fuck with.

2024-03-14 00:39:07

I'm still laughing about the 2001 calculation that a single ejaculation contains 78,000 terabytes of genetic data, leading to urethral bandwidth of either 15,600 tb/s (or, if you treat all the sperm as noise except for one successful one) a still-respectable 78 mb/s.
http://www.erosblog.com/2003/01/22/hey-babe-wanna-interface/

2024-03-13 18:08:45

Shoutout to commenter "Alwin" on ErosBlog whose repeated comments like "model name" and "the model" are not surviving moderation on this post:
http://www.erosblog.com/2003/06/18/how-to-put-on-a-condom/
I assume Alwin wants a model ID, badly enough to return and comment repeatedly but not badly enough to shape their desire into either a question or a request. Passive aggressive vague demands for the lose!
BTW if anybody *does* have any sort of provenance for the photo sequence in question, I'd love to hear it!

2024-03-13 04:07:44

Nobody goes on FB to have their participation graded, but on the personal page where I keep in touch with boomers and distant friends, it does amuse me to pay attention to who interacts with what. (Covid and climate apocalypse are reliable cricket-noise generators. Garden pics do well.)
I have hundreds of "friends" on there. Yesterday I posted a 🤣 fair wages meme and it got precisely five likes, from four extremely kind women and from the nicest man in my freshman dorm thirty-mumble years ago.

2024-03-13 01:44:43

My first ever instance/domain block goes to the instance that has "if you can't cope, then seethe" in its description and a user promoting via hashtag spam some incredibly violent imagery with racist commentary into my feed.

2024-03-12 19:41:18

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@npub1yma…qxa2 How many years ago did it go negative? 😀

2024-01-04 21:09:19

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@npub1rnq…c2vu PS I'm really not interested in having a HEATED conversation about this. I feel like you're putting insults and arguments in my mouth that didn't originate with me, and I don't use Mastodon for that. I understand these are hot-button issues but please, keep it to ideas instead of attacking my motives, suggesting that my arguments are deliberately misleading, or sharing your mental model of my views about people who disagree with me that don't match anything I've said. Thanks!

2024-01-04 21:01:50

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@npub1rnq…c2vu None of that. Whence the hostility?
My argument, expanded, is that using small amounts of copyrighted works in transformative enough ways has very often not been seen as controversial or infringing.
People making copyright-based arguments against generative art are trying to handwave away the entire conversation about the scope and transformative nature of the use. AI art uses much smaller pieces and transforms them more comprehensively than uncontroversial collages. Hence my OP.

2024-01-04 20:32:49

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@npub1rnq…c2vu It's not a straw man, it's an assertion that gen-art is similar in important ways to other artistic processes that have, historically, not outraged artists nor been understood as infringing their copyrights. It's different in important ways too, obviously. Copyright arguments are legal arguments, and legal arguments about new tech proceed by analogy, and by arguing about the strength of analogies. I don't accept your claim that I've committed any logical fallacy in such discourse.

2024-01-04 19:53:25

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@npub1rnq…c2vu A perfectly legitimate perspective, and I thank you for sharing it, but it's hardly so dispositive as to make alternative views "weak". That's crossing the boundary between argument and rhetoric.

2024-01-04 19:12:11

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Or maybe I'm just so old that the people who are up in arms about art made from a zillion tiny pieces glued together with miraculous math don't actually remember, like I do, that people used to make art by sitting down with a stack of old magazines, a pair of scissors, and a tub of library paste.

2024-01-01 23:05:28

I often wonder if the people who are angry about intellectual property issues in generative art also hate collages.
#Art #GenerativeArt #AI #LLM #Artists #Copyright #IntellectualProperty #Collage #ShitPost
https://cdn.masto.host/kinkyelephant/media_attachments/files/111/683/166/959/849/764/original/9395a8eaa4663148.jpg

2023-12-31 18:46:41

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@npub16ra…zpy2 Ruben ???

2023-12-31 18:11:51

A random image selected from my stock of vintage porn to be blogged eventually. The cover of Pirate #5, circa 1965
#Porn #VintagePorn #Pussy #PubicHair #Vagina #Gaping #Semen #Cum #Jizz #Sticky #StickyPussy #StickyCunt #Cunt #Labia #CloseUp #RedNails #Fingernails #Pirate #PirateMagazine #PornMagazine
https://cdn.masto.host/kinkyelephant/media_attachments/files/111/676/360/353/004/818/original/c29cd1ec716793ae.jpg

2023-12-29 20:08:14

The other day we were talking on here about acronyms for mundane normal boring things in 2023 that meant something very different and much dirtier on alt.sex.whatever back in the day.
But nobody ever talks about what happens when somebody on here starts talking about #bears and you just can't tell if it's a shifter #erotica conversation or a fuzzy #gay daddy situation.

2023-12-23 00:29:35

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@npub10fm…x0qg Absolutely! When I said "Google doesn't know about this file" it was shorthand for "I'm not a good enough searcher, although I am a very good searcher" plus "Google has digital dementia AND a bad case of prudishness" plus "these days all the interesting files are buried deep in collections that are only superficially crawled and indexed, for reasons see above." That file MAY be lost forever but in my heart I don't believe it.

2023-12-22 19:58:43

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@npub10fm…x0qg I would not lightly discount any of Elf Sternberg's opinions about sex, but I don't agree with him about #1.

2023-12-18 01:40:24

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@npub17ha…t8va Everybody wants to say "this is the choice" but nobody wants to talk about WHY the Democratic Party decided to offer a choice so unpalatable to so many.

2023-12-13 17:24:51

Despite having a college degree in international relations, I have been confused for the last ten years, and I don't expect clarity to arrive soon.
At the root of my confusion: I don't fundamentally understand how right-wing politics in the USA became so aligned with the ambitions of a Russian dictator. Putin's notional triumphs won't help "Make America Great Again" or advance the Republican dream of Christian-branded fascist oppression of women and minorities.

2023-12-04 04:45:28

Cringe viral appeals aside, I'm always interested in how to send clear safety signals that don't light up MAGA's enemies-radar. As a huge greying white man deep in MAGA territory, I look for wearable flair that signals I'm a safe person, in the "not gonna hurt anybody" sense AND in the "I will give you a ride to a safer place right now" sense.
Best I've found so far is super-colorful tie-die shirts. Signaling "old hippie" is false but works for this, and won't get me shot on a dark county road.

2023-10-21 05:37:51

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My mother was an artist and crafter who made a small number of unique pieces and sometimes sold them. In her display and sales space she'd sometimes include items she didn't intend to sell at all, tagging them with what she called her "I don't want to sell it very bad" prices.
I think of her "I don't want to sell it very bad" pricing every time I'm preparing a quote for a difficult customer.

2023-10-21 04:29:25

I'm sure I'm not the only independent business person who charges a premium (this time, about 22%) when quoting new work for a client who was an enormous BLAZING pain in the ass during previous work.
So now my new quote is "excessively high" (oh darn) and I'm told their website was written by somebody who charges 8% of my rates (it shows). But they will generously offer me 40% of my quote and throw in a $65 sex toy.
Me, summarized: "Do let me know if your needs or your budget change."

2023-10-07 03:12:02

I don't really feel that old, but:
I just realized I don't know what the word "library" even means to someone who has never had the physical/tactile experience of looking something up in a card catalog cabinet full of index cards bound on brass rods in serried ranks of deep wooden drawers.

2023-10-01 16:31:34

For today’s adventure in rurality, I just encountered a very large white man wearing a mullet, a camo hat that says “I like the way it tastes”, and a shirt emblazoned with “DRUNK WIVES MATTER” as big as would fit.

2023-09-24 22:07:15

TV was on NBC this AM from watching severe weather coverage last night. Caught a bit of Steve Kornacki running down #polling on the 2024 election.
My overwhelming takeaway is that the establishment #Democrats have every intention of handing the #presidency back to the party of cruelty and stupidity.
They KNOW by EVIDENCE that younger voters aren't going to turn out for their propped-up do-little gerontocrat. They don't care: they're gonna run him anyway.
#SteveKornacki #CrueltyParty

2023-09-24 21:52:54

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For me, in-theater movies seem like a particularly bad risk/reward bargain. Risk is high (close proximity to many others, mostly unmasked, uncertain ventilation) and reward is slight if you can watch the same movie in six months at home with better snacks. It doesn't pencil out.
Honestly I save most of my Covid risk budget for unmasked face-to-face socializing in small groups with known-to-be-Covid-cautious friends and family. I haven't been in a crowded room since 2019. May never be again.

2023-09-24 21:45:37

My Zoom social happened after all. The other four participants had a lively discussion about the Barbie movie. I expressed surprise that they'd all risk another case of covid (they average about two acknowledged cases each between them) for a pop-culture movie.
In the pushback and lively discussion that ensued, it became clear that they see Covid caution as a binary: they did (now they don't) take precautions. They never ask "is this particular event worth its specific set of risks?"

2023-09-23 20:50:55

Well, fuh. It looks like my regular Saturday afternoon social Zoom has fallen apart. Perhaps I should reclaim the time by making up a jug of traditional punch. Let's see, do I have oranges, sugar, nutmeg, black tea, and almost undrinkable rotgut rum? Indeed I do!
https://cdn.masto.host/kinkyelephant/media_attachments/files/111/116/432/482/735/458/original/5f96b063cc754185.jpg

2023-09-23 19:28:46

Saw a tabloid headline somewhere about Leonardo DiCaprio squiring around some way-too-young-for-him actress/model and my first thought was "Gross, she was probably one of those teen girls who got imprinted on him by going to the theater dozens of times to watch him drown beside a perfectly good hatch-cover raft." Only then my math brain kicked in (my math brain is very slow and very smooth) and I realized she hadn't even been BORN when that movie came out.

2023-09-22 17:10:04

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@npub1pll…faee I could construct an interpretation of Christian theology that views acts of pleasurable service as worshipful, but I'm not aware of any modern sect that actually hews to such a doctrine. But, on an individual basis, people believe and practice as they want, so, sure, I guess? It's not incompatible with anything the carpenter said AFAIK.

2023-09-22 02:37:17

One thing that never stops being hilarious is when a performative Christian thinks talking about "getting on my knees" signals piety and prayer, while the rest of the world hears it as "blowjob, blowjob, blowjob!"

2023-09-08 17:42:25

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@npub1p6m…jpny uses a comforting phrase in that post ("kisses at the speed of consent") reminding me of a disturbing meatspace convo about consent I had recently with a couple of boomer-minded relatives.
They both think it's fine to infer consent from "she went there, wearing that, and didn't say no".
He brutally mocked explicit consent, especially if it's reconfirmed as a hookup progresses, as "too much". So I blew their minds by arguing for enthusiastic consent instead. They were NOT keen.

2023-09-08 17:19:05

I would never (don't say never) go on a blind date, for sundry compelling reasons, however, comma, counterpoint: https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/blind-date-set-up-stranger/

2023-09-06 22:55:37

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Although it's not for any rational reason, I am so eager to restore this lost memory that I actually sent a Signal message to the woman I spent most of the 90s with. Most of our media consumption was in common in those days, and I watched a lot of things with her kid that I otherwise wouldn't have seen. She may well remember what I do not.

2023-09-06 17:11:04

That's enough depressing #pornocalypse conversation for me this morning.
I have a new wheelbarrow, I have a shovel, I have keys to the pasture, I'm going to go visit my neighbor's horse and steal some fertilizer. #productivity