Fi

Oh hello.
Only me, popping in to share some stitching, some cat pics and talk of F1.
I spend way too much time on my own or in the company of a teenager (my child, not a random teenager, he is referred to as the child or the spawn ). So this place is my connection to the grown ups, if there is any such thing.

#CrossStitch #Cats #Formula1 #Books #Theatre #Disabled #Fibromyalgia #ADHD #Autism

Profile pic is me with my grey hair covering my face.
Header pic is a beach in Fife.

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justfi_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

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Last Notes

2025-04-06 03:48:33

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Hey Caity, I hope you are having a decent day. Fingers crossed for Oscar, since its his birthday 😁 It should be a decent race, although I think there could be a few crashes.

2025-04-06 03:37:33

Been awake for the past hour.
Sore.
Grumpy.
Getting grumpier by the minute.
Coffee.
Meds.
More coffee.
Food.
F1.
Stitching.
Peace.
Have a fab Sunday everyone 😊

2025-04-05 04:40:48

Morning folks.
I have a serious case of "being fucking shattered", my body was being objectionable to sleep last night. I've had 2 hours sleep.
Ah well, at least today there is early qualifying, a grocery delivery and the start of Floral Hexagons SAL.
So I'm away to pull on some clothes and then get started with the SAL - or get it organised anyway.
Have a lovely day everyone.

2025-04-04 05:51:23

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Sweet potato chips sound good. I plan to make cheesy broccoli and quinoa patties later on.
I hope the vet visit went okay.

2025-04-04 05:46:43

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Emails can definitely wait. What are the options for dinner?

2025-04-04 05:10:37

Sky isn't quite that blue yet, stupid phone. It is a glorious morning if a tad chilly!
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2025-04-04 05:08:03

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I enjoyed first coffee, second coffee will be made in a minute! How are you doing?

2025-04-04 03:57:54

Morning folks, I had a fairly decent sleep, hurrah. Usual order of things today - coffee, meds, coffee, then see what happens. I do need to get outside asap though, I am too hot this morning and need air.
Have a lovely Friday everyone!
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2025-03-26 08:17:52

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Yep he has cats, loves them and knows them all.
Soft starts are good and are more than enough when socialising isn't really your thing. There is a severe lack of opportunities around here, because of where I live, the easiest ones for me to access - I am not eligible to attend because I am outwith that region, the ones in my own region - I physically can't get to.
I've been hospitalised with a migraine, and this is nothing like it. So its just a wait and see, I'm done being angry about it, more just accepting that I will be fobbed off with whatever.
Plus side - I have now booked tickets for the theatre, so now I just need to save up some energy for it - if only it worked that way!

2025-03-26 07:58:45

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I'm still waiting on the MRI results. When I left the hospital, the consultant was "its probably just a migraine", physio saying it might be a "functional stroke", I'm still calling it the "maybe stroke" until I get the results. Whatever it was, it has totally wiped me out and turned my really bad days into my daily normal and that is bloody hard to deal with.
I keep thinking some sort of crafty group out of the house would be good for me, but they are generally not accessible for me, then I also remember that I'm not really a fan of socialising, so maybe not. I am glad you have your art therapy though, it is so good to have an escape and something creative to enjoy.
I actually like Verstappen, I don't always agree with how he drives, its good to see him not racing off in front and having to battle it out on track. He does get bonus points from me since he is daft about cats 😂

2025-03-26 07:41:46

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Hey Caity, thank you, I am thinking this wobbly, high fatigue might just be the new normal. Theatre is my escape from the house, and I have had this booked since the start of the year so I don't want to miss it.
Oscar had an amazing race, I'm not the biggest McLaren fan, but Oscar is very likable, so I'll always cheer him on.

2025-03-26 06:37:52

Goals for today, the realistic version.
1) Get through the day.
2) Sort out meds for the next 7 days.
3) Book transport for the theatre on the 9th that I don't know if I will be capable of going to (A long day and a lot of walking).
4) Get some fresh air.
5) Repot a couple of plants - that might be too much though.
I really hate how much smaller my world is becoming and these new limitations on what I can do. Fighting off that spiralling sense of misery is exhausting. Setting myself tiny goals is good for me though, I can at least feel proud of those.
#Life #Goals

2025-03-17 04:36:22

Morning folks, Monday morning is here.
Today is the day for me! I have my appointment with general surgery about getting my gallbladder out, its been a long 18 months on the waiting list, hopefully today I will get some idea of how long until surgery. I'm excited for the appointment but slightly stressed about the travel side since moving is difficult right now. So I'm mentally doing a happy dance this morning 😉 I do also need to get to the chemist today since the meds supply is almost done, so I will do that first thing, then I can rest for another few hours before I have to go out again.
Time for coffee and feeding the demons.
Have a lovely day everyone 😊
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2025-03-14 07:00:56

Huh, forgot I hadn't actually said good morning.
Good morning, awake early, its first race of the season weekend, so FP2 was viewed.
Now to get people shouting at me. More health talk and some raging. Turn away now.
This "maybe stroke"....some pricks have made comments that its likely just a TIA so nothing to worry about (wtf, do they even know what a TIA is?), or just my body being weird and that I should be back to normal by now. Regardless of what it is, I have been left with a deep exhaustion, an insane thirst, confusion and weakness down the right side. Now hopefully, this will all resolve itself in time. Remember this is on top of the health problems I already have. So, since people seem to think I should be back to normal, I'll have a normal day, doing the things that need to be done and the things I want to do. Is it completely stupid to push to my normal activities? Abso-fucking-lutely. Do I care if I push too much? To be entirely honest, no, I do not. So yes, I am going to do ALL THE CHORES today, if I collapse, I collapse. That is just the way it is going to be. If people expect me to be "back to normal", that is what I will do. Fuck it.
Ranting over. I'm going to finish this coffee and get on with stuff.
Have a fab day folks.
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2025-03-12 08:49:01

Now that I am getting cosy, my goal is to finish this flower. It has been abandoned for ages, so lets see how the co-ordination works on this today. The "maybe stroke" has messed with my ability to game, lets see if it has taken my ability to stitch too.
#CrossStitch
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2025-03-12 06:23:26

Morning folks, still feeling like a sack of garbage but having flowers in the kitchen does cheer me up when I go to get coffee.
Once again, I will be having a slow day....getting a bit bored of those now, it would be nice if my body would just get back to normal now.
I hope you all have a lovely day 😊
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2025-03-07 05:38:38

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Thank you Caity, I think I will have no choice but to rest, even the thought of getting another cuppa right now is a bit too much.

2025-03-07 05:19:27

Morning folks, well, what a couple of days I just had.
So Wednesday morning, didn't feel great, thought it was the lack of sleep. Was feeling overwhelmed with things that I had to do. 8.30, I decided "fuck it, breakfast then garden". 9am, I started feeling really weak, dizzy, felt my heart racing. 9.15am, I couldn't speak and my right side was gone. A little while passes in a blur and a chaotic jumble - being blue lighted to hospital, straight into a CT scan, consultant leaning over me telling me about a medicine that they had to get in me. I remember asking for some people to leave the room, it was too crowded, my brain was mush and too many people were making it hard to think. I agree to the medicine and was "thrombolysed".
Off to the ward and what an experience that was. They have changed what some wards are, so the stroke ward is now in the ward I used to work on, that was weird. The hospital experience tbh, was shite. My meds were forcefully taken from me, one doctor was arguing that my GP had my meds wrong. I freaked out a few times because the ward was way too hot, too loud (expected, I know), too bright. Had a repeat CT scan yesterday, since that showed no bleed on the brain, they reluctantly agreed to release me. I do have to get an MRI in the next to 7-10 days to confirm or exclude a diagnosis of a stroke.
I have been warned by the consultant to take it easy over the next few weeks since this could just be a pure exhaustion thing. I am moving again, but its hard work, actually having to think about what I am doing and using the stick in the house. My brain is like sludge. I was cleared by physio in the stroke department, but she will get in touch with my own physio. OT (occupational therapy) has sent me home with therapy putty to play with to try and get the strength back in my hand, along with arranging for a perch stool to be delivered for in the kitchen and a bathroom assessment to be carried out since I have fallen a fair few times trying to shower.
I won't deny that I was absolutely terrified, especially given family history, many tears have been shed.
I decided to get the bus home from hospital - cause obviously I am stubborn and insisted I could do it - huge mistake, I felt so ill and dizzy waiting on the bus. Pretty much went straight to bed and was sound asleep just after 6pm, I did need that sleep after getting pretty much none in hospital.
Sorry for not replying to everyone, I have enough problems using my phone on a good day, never mind when I only had one functional hand. Also, apologies for no alt text on my hospital photo - didn't have brain power for that.
I do appreciate all the messages of support, they helped make a scary time a little less scary.
Todays plans - rest, although as always, chores need doing, so they will be done at some point. Bins to empty and a new shower rail to put up (kind of urgent since mine is almost fully broken and I really need a shower).
Have a good one folks.

2025-03-05 08:52:57

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How are things looking weather wise for you?
The wind here isn't destructive, just loud enough to keep me awake all night and to stop me getting into the garden today, urgh.

2025-03-05 05:39:50

Morning folks, well wasn't that another night of crap sleep. It is still windy as hell here, I might just wrap up and battle on with the garden today, I want to get stuff done and also try to clear my head a bit, feeling all stuffy and head cold like. I could really do without getting ill just now.
Coffee, coffee, clothes, try to be productive - that is the plan for today.
Now I must go see why the cat is growling!
Have a good one folks 😊
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2025-03-03 07:29:23

Various good old chronic pain/fibro/arthritic/fatigue things fighting for attention this morning, but its a lovely morning and you know I am just itching to get the bench built.
That would be a really bad idea in my current state.
Breakfast first and then we'll see.

2025-03-03 06:51:45

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Absolutely stunning car, must try and remember to show it to my son later on!

2025-02-07 05:59:49

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Same!

2025-01-22 07:46:54

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It was absolutely awful, I am really worried about my neighbour, hoping that he will get home. I'll head out in an hour, get my bench by the river and just enjoy watching the waves for a while.

2025-01-22 06:33:47

Sitting, just finished a cuppa just before 5.30, think I hear a knock at the door. So I go to sneak a look out the window cause this is weird AF. Unknown woman on the doorstep. She was from the community alarm team. Old guy 4 doors along had fallen down the stairs, would I go and sit with him until the ambulance arrived. Neighbour is off to hospital. Another neighbour and I have cleaned up his house and all the blood. Really hope he will be okay.
Doubt I'll be getting any sleep now, may as well get a coffee and start the day properly.

2025-01-22 04:39:36

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If I could send the cold your way I would, I'm guessing its still horrendous there.

2025-01-22 04:25:49

I did not plan to be up this early.
Idiot nephew was making food at 3.30am. That woke up skinny cat, which woke me up. Tried to get back to sleep but could hear someone out scraping their car.
There is a hard frost this morning. Its cold.
I am so going back to bed after a cup of tea - it seems like a morning for tea.

2025-01-21 06:43:10

Today might be an emotionally rough day for me, but I still have a glimmer of optimism about the day, okay, I have cried already this morning but I don't need to cry all day.
I acknowledge how I am feeling right now, I am also allowing myself to have a good day if I want to. Its not wrong to have fun today, whatever that may look like.
I am staying away from the news for another couple of days though cause I know that will bring me down or make me rage.
So for today, and the rest of the week, I am looking at self care and compassion, being kind to myself and all that stuffs.
Maybe I am reframing the grief, a small measure of guilt comes with that, but it is not getting to control me today, I refuse to let it.
Positive mindset and all that jazz 😉 I can keep pushing for better mental health, part of that is accepting the rough days and allowing myself to be nice to myself on those days.
Today is a day for kindness.
#MentalHealth #Grief

2025-01-20 20:11:52

The way the light caught the McManus Galleries in Dundee today made me smile.
I couldn't get the photo I wanted due to other humans being out and about, how very dare they 😉
#Photo #Dundee #Scotland
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2025-01-13 10:18:34

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Your dog is so cute, I love staffies.

2025-01-10 05:54:40

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So many people are randomly unwell and don't quite know what is wrong, its not until they read someones experience and then a lightbulb goes off and they realise everything makes sense.....and then they need to start that fight for a diagnosis.

2025-01-10 05:48:52

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I would say it is worthwhile. Especially if you are writing up how POTS impacts you, it might just "click" for someone who is questioning if they have POTS but don't quite feel they meet the standard criteria they see from a health department.

2025-01-07 05:04:47

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He managed so well, I think my friend driving us there made a huge difference to his willingness to go.

2025-01-06 16:53:41

Success!
The child made it to the doctors!
Not much stress and lots of giggles along the way.

2025-01-04 07:29:38

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Maybe you should be the boss! Sounds like work is a bit chaotic.

2025-01-04 07:14:41

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I've got appointments on 3 different days in the coming week, I am not ready to get back to reality.

2025-01-04 07:04:37

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Hiya, I feel like today is a good day to have the coffee pot at my desk, I'm glad I can stay in today - the nephew will be on bin duty, he just doesn't know it yet.
Hurrah for a mild week for you, hopefully that will make life a little easier for a few days at least.
You have done so much lately, it sounds like you need to put your feet up and crochet 😁

2025-01-04 05:48:30

Morning folks, I think I might be dead today, didn't feel right most of yesterday and feel absolutely horrendous this morning - naturally nothing specific, I just feel like a sack of mouldy shite.
Todays plans involve more coffee, trying to move my body and making it to the end of the day in one piece.
Spoons are seriously limited right now.
I'll pop in again later if I feel vaguely human.
Have a fab day lovely people, be safe if you venture out.

2024-12-25 07:18:24

Merry Christmas and good morning to those who celebrate.
I had a long lie, okay, I had a fight with the cats at 2.30 am which resulted in skinny cat going out for the rest of the night, fat cat curled back up on the bed with me and we slept until 7am.
Plans today - lots of coffee until its time to make bacon rolls, then the bucks fizz gets opened. The child will get up at some point to open his presents. Then we will likely both snack all day, play games and have a giggle. It really is just another day for us and we like it that way.
Whatever you are upto today, be kind to yourself, take time out if you need to and I hope you enjoy the day as best you can.
#Christmas #Coffee #Morning
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2024-12-24 06:28:22

This time of year is exhausting, even if you don't celebrate Christmas, there is no escape from it. So take time for yourself, get cosy in that nest and just relax, forget all the forced joy and interactions, do what is right for you.
I'm not a huge fan of this time of year, but I do try to find some joy for the sake of my son, we will have a laugh, but we will both also nest lots.
I like that for a few days I get a break from reality, and now that I have taken the pressure off myself to create the wonderful Christmas, we have a better time.
Happy Nestivus to those that need it!
@npub1er2…8mfg
#JoinIn #Christmas #Relax
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2024-12-22 17:44:24

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I'm in north east Fife and very lucky to have a decent butcher nearby and we have the tradition of a fish van that comes round every week. I very much appreciate the local produce, even if it is stupidly expensive.

2024-12-22 17:14:06

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Is that not a known Welsh delicacy? 😉

2024-12-22 17:12:32

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My body doesn't do well with meat, but every now and then, I just want it...so I have it....going to the local butchers was a mistake, so so good and its been a spiral since!

2024-12-22 16:49:27

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I need to get back on the veggie wagon, totally got kicked off 6 weeks ago, so once the Christmas bacon is gone, I'll start behaving again.

2024-12-22 16:28:05

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That is a kill or cure meal! Pasta used to be my go to for a hangover, until my body decided pasta was evil....now I stick to sweet tea, irn bru and masses of toast.

2024-12-22 16:14:54

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Oh mate, thats not good! The massive bloody pie I've just had will soak up the glass of Berry Christmas wine....I hope!

2024-12-22 15:57:15

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Hurrah!

2024-12-22 15:20:48

Are we at the stage of saying "ah fuck it, its Christmas" yet?

2024-12-20 19:23:41

Go out and do the silly things, just for fun.
I love this tiny buddha quote and I love the swing at the edge of my local woods. Go to the park, play on the swings, skip through the woods, do the things that make you happy.
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2024-12-20 08:39:44

Clearly the weather is going to turn horrific, both cats are sleeping on the bed instead of trying to beat each other up!

2024-12-14 07:11:04

Comedy Wildlife Photo of the year winner. Called "Stuck Squirrel" taken by Milko Marchetti.
This photo just screams joy and hilarity, seeing it has brightened my morning, I hope does yours too!
#Photo #Comedy #Squirrel
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2024-12-11 20:33:16

I leave the room for two minutes and Fat Cat has claimed my chair!
#Cats
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2024-12-07 18:17:23

Today has been a good day out. Ended up in Perth and came across The Knife Angel.
This is possibly one of the most powerful, thought provoking sculptures I have seen.
Over 100,000 blades that have been seized have been joined to make this sculpture. Created to highlight the damage done by violent crimes and the sorrow it brings to communities. It is also a memorial to those who have died through knife crime.
I felt really emotional seeing the sculpture and even now, sharing this, its hard not to feel big emotions. That is what this is meant to do, provoke a response, make people think...and it certainly worked with me.
If you are in the area, it is on display throughout December outside Perth Museum.
#Art #Sculpture #Perth #Scotland #Knife #Crime
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2024-12-04 08:27:47

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I never even thought about the washing hair thing - probably because I managed it today, but yeah, it is very hard work, especially with long hair.
I've had fibro and arthritis for a long time, its only been the past 5 years that it has got really bad, then the past year and few months, it is horrendous....I didn't appreciate how hard these things can be, and now I do know.

2024-12-04 06:44:03

Showering when you have chronic illness, a few thoughts.
It takes a stupid amount of energy just to get in the shower.
Water can hurt the skin.
Having the water set at "only just warm" because the dizziness is real and heat will make it worse.
Staying upright is hard work.
Shaving the legs - just not happening, its winter warmth.
Spending 5 minutes trying to scrub off a random bruise.
Injuring yourself even though you have stayed upright the whole time.
Getting out the shower, wrapping yourself in towels and realising that your energy has gone, so you will now stay wrapped in towels until you either find some energy or get too damn cold that getting dressed is essential.
I miss the days when showers were easy.
#RandomThoughts #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Fibromyalgia #Arthritis

2024-12-01 10:08:52

Advent SAL day one complete.
B5200 is the one thread I really hate working with.
Pattern - Baubles and Fairy Lights by Climbing Goat Designs.
I will put this as a pinned post and add to it every day, along with the AdventSAL hashtag.
#AdventSAL #CrossStitch
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2024-11-30 09:50:11

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What do you plan to bake? I do not miss the enforced Christmas cheer at work.

2024-11-30 09:05:15

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Hello lovely, the fairy lights are cute as hell, although I'm already thinking about linking them together with some sparkly thread.
Hows your day going?

2024-11-30 06:50:42

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Clearly masochistic tendencies 😂

2024-11-30 06:47:07

Today is the first time in cross stitch that I almost wish I gridded the fabric. Counting 63 spaces on linen is not fun, but here goes.
(I know the pic shows knitting, but I am sure anyone that does knitting, crochet, needlework, understands the stress of counting lots of stitches)
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2024-11-30 06:02:44

Morning folks, not me getting up at 4am and starting stitching straight away!
This pattern is Fairy lights and baubles Advent SAL, I need to have all the fairy lights done by 9am tomorrow morning, this is only quarter of them. So forgive me when I am quiet all day, between stitching and F1 this weekend, you can enjoy the quiet from me!
I hope you all have a fab weekend!
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2024-11-29 05:47:01

I finally finished reading Threads of Life by Clare Hunter last night.
As someone who stitches a lot and likes a bit of history, this book jumped from the shelf into my hands when I saw it.
It's not a challenging read, it is truly fascinating. Talking about the secret messages in embroidery, using stitching for activism, stitching in prisons, through war, suffragettes, even Mary Queen of Scots gets a mention.
This is definitely a book that will get to stay and not be sent to the charity shop.
Its a book that made me think (a rarity, I know), made me reflect on the things I sew, has perhaps sparked something in me to stitch something of my own design, maybe just pick up the needle and go with whatever comes to mind.
Damnit, I have things to do and all I want to do is stitch!
#Books #Sewing #CrossStitch #Embroidery #FiberArts #History
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2024-11-29 03:49:16

12 hours in bed, my hip seems to have finally clicked back into place.
Being upright was so painful yesterday, lets hope I can stay sitting up today, I have so much to do and its the podiatry home visit this morning.
I am so fed up with the increasing pain levels where none of the usual remedies to ease it are working.

2024-11-28 10:30:43

Its a weird morning.
I spent most of yesterday advocating for my child. He is 17 and autistic. He is unable to do a lot of things himself, pretty much denied an education, struggling. He is autistic, but not autistic enough to get help from other sources, just from me.
I'm autistic, adhd, multiple physical health challenges. I had a good, varied career until stress and bullying led to a mental health breakdown that I have never recovered from.
So this morning, awake early as usual, I found myself watching random videos on youtube - something I rarely do, my brain doesn't let me sit still long enough for that, but today my brain did. Watching travel vids mostly.
I have never travelled. I live in Scotland, explored a lot of it. Been to a few places in England. Thats it. I have never been abroad, this is where the shame comes in - I have been mocked most of my life when I admit that, so go on, bring it, shame me for it, I don't care. But watching a few videos this morning, I created a bucket list, nothing super expensive, but still unrealistic for me.
Mortality - my sister who was 8 years older than me died at 42, my dad died at 65, my mum at 72. Dying young seems to be a thing in my family, so at 45, with health getting worse month by month. There are a few things I really want to do.
Unfortunately, I will likely never achieve them since I have to care for my son who can't leave the house now due to his own struggles.
So thank you to everyone who shared there bucket list thoughts with me. For me, I would dearly love to visit Orkney and or Shetland. Nothing extreme, but being poor and not being able to drive, its never going to happen.
Why am I sharing this? because my brain is fucked and if I don't share it, I will stress over these thoughts, and also because if you are Orkney or Shetland based, I would really love to see some photos of the area, so I can imagine being there.

2024-11-28 09:50:04

I am having so many big thoughts this morning, stuff I want to share but I don't want to drag other people down.
Leading from that, do you have a bucket list, or one specific thing that you really want to do?

2024-11-27 15:08:15

Well, what a day that has turned into.
The child was unable to go to the podiatry appointment, we never know how things are going to go until a couple of minutes beforehand. So an absolute pain in the ass since I had a taxi booked. So since the podiatry advice line and central booking are no help at all and told me to speak to a podiatrist (that I can't do without a phone number, which we don't have because they won't hand it out), I decided I may as well use the taxi and go to the appointment alone and see if they would speak to me.
Explained the situation to the receptionist, she told me to take a seat. I was able to speak to the podiatrist, explain all the challenges the child faces and that my son needs help. She was absolutely lovely, took loads of notes, and even though she doesn't do home visits, due to her health problems, she has agreed to do a home visit to meet the child and hopefully get a look at his feet and plan next steps.
So since I was at the doctors surgery anyway, I decided to speak to the receptionist about medical issues my child is having (and him being unable to leave the house), to find out how we get him help. Receptionist asked if it could be dealt with over the phone, I said not really but an initial phone call would be a really good start. So a phone appointment has been made for Tuesday, where I can speak on the childs behalf and then we can take it from there.
So yes, while I was seriously angry with how unhelpful NHS Fife were on the phone last week, I am entirely thankful of them today. Being able to speak to staff face to face makes a huge difference. There needs to be better ways of doing things though for those with additional support needs, disabled etc. I have the skills to advocate for my son (even if I do end up at breaking point, but thats a me issue). I had the ability today to go to the surgery - even if it did cost £15 in taxi fare and then an hour hanging around in the cold for a bus home which we all know has left me absolutely fucked for the rest of the day. Things shouldn't be this difficult though.
Ramblings over with - for now.

2024-11-25 05:09:40

Morning folks, I've already ticked two things off the list, I shall pretend to be human later.
The wind is making itself known this morning, the letterbox rattling woke me up.
So I went to bed at 7pm last night, was asleep at 8 and didn't start stirring until 4am. This could be my new sleep schedule, I almost feel rested.
Todays plans - couple of phone calls to make, and lots of stitching, along with the usual daily tasks like remembering to eat.
I hope Monday is good to you!
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2024-11-24 15:49:45

A day of slow stitching, my left hand isn't enjoying being used, stitching one handed takes time, hurrah for the desk clamp to hold the hoop.
The next flower I plan to do is rather large and means moving the fabric in the hoop. That will be for later, or maybe tomorrow. I really need to get some food. It's been a peaceful day so far.
Pattern - Flowers of Quaker by Karen Kluba/Rosewood Manor.
Fabric - 32ct taupe evenweave.
Threads - Valdani threads.
#CrossStitch
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2024-11-22 10:33:16

That was not a good trip to the chemist and shop.
Hip decided to pop on the way to the bus stop, instant pain and a struggle to walk. Thankfully the bus goes up the hill to the chemist, so I just had to walk downhill to the shops.
Very shaky walk around the shop, enough that one of the staff came to carry my basket and packed my shopping for me - very glad of their help.
10 minutes to walk the length of the very short high street to the bus stop, holding myself up on a wall since some bawbag drove his truck into the bus shelter.
Finally home, shopping is dumped next to me just now since putting it away is going to take more spoons than I currently have. Will text the child to seek his help. So much for my plans to make soup, hummph!
Whatever the hell is going on with my hip needs to sort itself out asap, I'm sick of this.
Grumble over.....for now.

2024-11-21 10:07:31

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Thank you. I'm thinking something involving eggs, since they are quick to do. I mostly get along fine with the NHS for me, but when it comes to my son - who is rarely ill, its a nightmare.
I do actually meditate and do some form of yoga, they do help me, but seriously, professionals need to stop flinging them out there as a cure for all.

2024-11-21 09:54:33

Been up since 4am as usual.
Finally managed to get enough fluid in me that I'm not dehydrated and yesterdays headaches have cleared up.
Another morning battling NHS Fife to try and get help for the child, another morning of getting very little understanding of how autism can impact on a persons ability to do "everyday" things.
More frustration and trying not to let stress get to me, but this is exhausting, tears aren't far away.
Suppose I should try to get some breakfast since food hasn't really been bothered with the past couple of days.
Pretty sure someone has pinched all my spoons.
( I know I need to eat, I know what causes my migraines and how to deal with them, there is little I can do about the frustrations - I just need to keep fighting a system that isn't designed to help autistic folk which adds more stress, oh but its okay, mindfulness and yoga will cure that /s )

2024-11-19 07:38:56

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Even in summer, I can be huddled up with a hot water bottle...but then summer in Scotland is very different than yours, and I'm weird 😁

2024-11-19 07:14:28

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I use little heat packs in fingerless gloves, helps my hands stay warm enough so I can do stuff.
I have warmed up, but I am about to venture outside with the rubbish....or I will, just as soon as I turn my game off.

2024-11-19 03:44:14

Brrrrrr, it is bloody freezing, heavy frost has turned everything white outside.
Woke up cause pain - fun. Hands are absolutely frozen, never thought I would put the heating on at this time of day, but I am about to, I refuse to sit here freezing. I'll regret it cause I really can't afford to have the heating on much. Hot water bottle and coffee are coming right up, along with WoW....well, thats already on, I'm just on a long flight path right now.

2024-11-18 04:48:04

Morning folks, its going to be a quiet few days from me, I'm sore, this cold is annoying me and I feel miserable as hell. Only got up to get meds and something warm to drink, will likely be back in bed soon, I don't have time to have a cold.
I hope today is good to you.

2024-11-16 17:19:36

Ah, those trips to the book shop. I now have enough books in my tbr pile for one a week for an entire year.
Hobbycraft meant yarn was purchased, with a rough idea in mind for it.
Bad trip to tesco cafe, it has turned shite since it went to ordering on a screen, why yes, I love waiting 45 minutes for a mediocre toastie.
I did get discounted Halloween chocolate though, so thats a win!
Home now, curled up in pjs, hot water bottle attached to me. The child has slept the day away and looks a bit brighter than he has for weeks, hurrah for that.

2024-11-16 06:30:47

The cat won't even cuddle me this morning.
Urgh.
Day of me hiding under the duvet it is.

2024-11-11 08:29:22

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The UFO box sits behind me so I can't see in, the box of current WIPs that I am supposedly working on sits on my desk, and the new crafts I am trying are taking up all my time instead 😁

2024-11-11 08:10:09

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I have some in that box that I look at and say "When did I start this? Where did it come from?"

2024-11-11 08:05:42

I am sure the majority of crafters can relate to this one, I know I can.
#HandMade #Makers #CrossStitch #Crochet #FiberArts
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2024-11-10 06:54:59

I made a proper attempt at crochet yesterday, this is the first time I have ever made it past 3 rows. I know its messy and all over the place. A lot of practise is needed, but I am rather proud of myself for keeping trying, I normally launch it across the room in frustration at not managing, but yesterdays attempt was more comfortable on my hands.
I am not aiming to make anything just now, just random swatches to get comfortable with the hook and yarn. This is out of my comfort zone, give me cross stitch any day, but eventually, I would like to make something.
I'm kind of scared showing my piss poor attempt knowing that there are so many insanely talented hookers on here, so please be kind in your criticism 😉 Everyone was new to crochet at some point.
#Crochet
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2024-11-08 11:35:08

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Yeah, sure I will, its not like I was looking at yarn last night, or grumbling that I need a less chunky yarn than the one I was using last night, nope, definitely not going to buy yarn 😇

2024-11-08 11:28:17

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I'm more worried about the yarn purchasing tbh

2024-11-08 10:50:23

Oh happy days.
Going to head out to explore a brand new bookshop in Kinross, called Read & Relax - they serve coffee in store, so that is a winner right there.
Looking about on maps to see what else is in Kinross, cause I've not properly been there since I was a child. There is a yarn shop right opposite the bookshop.
This could get dangerous, I'm skint until Tuesday 😂
#Books #Yarn #Coffee #DaysOut

2024-11-02 07:12:59

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I've had issues with those soaps as well. I found a local vegan soap maker who makes the best bars of soap, the only one that agrees with my hands. Pity it is so damn expensive.

2024-11-02 06:58:46

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Bar soap for me at home, its a soap that helps my dermatitis. Pretty much all liquid soaps here have that "anti-bacterial" label and that anti-bac thing absolutely destroys my hands, even when I worked in the NHS I had my own special liquid soap provided for me. I obviously do use liquid soaps when out and about though since that is whats provided and I refuse to use a bar of soap that someone else has used.

2024-10-31 09:44:22

I am so damn tired.
I have things to do.
I've been staring at the PC for hours now, doing absolutely nothing.

2024-10-31 05:23:11

Good morning lovely people!
Today is a good day to share an old cross stitch from a good few years ago, I love the witches hats in this one!
I am absolutely wiped out this morning after my very active day yesterday. Still, I better carry on with the madness today since everything is chaos. Her downstairs is home, so I can't do any noisy stuff until after 9ish.
I need to get out for an early walk, my legs need a decent stretch, so once coffee is finished with, I'll be off out.
I could do with going out for a few things, like burgers. I generally don't eat meat, but I started craving a big juicy cheeseburger yesterday and the thought is still there. I need to get a couple of things I forgot to get when I was in ASDA on Monday - I was in there twice because I forgot stuff, and have still forgotten to get stuff, ffs. Stupid brain!
We don't do Halloween in this house. As much as I love it, the child hates spooky stuff and dress up - especially masks, he isn't a fan of people hiding their faces. Although he has got better with it over the years, its just not his thing. If you do celebrate though - Happy Halloween!
Whatever you are up to today, have a good one!
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2024-10-22 04:21:53

Morning lovely people, I woke up in a bit of a mood, so I'm pretty much having coffee and then throwing myself into tapestry.
This is the kit I got from the Bothy Threads Autumn collection, this doesn't count as being from my craft budget, since its tapestry 😇 I made a decent start on it yesterday and had to force myself to go to bed, I forgot how much I enjoy tapestry. My hands will hate it though, I always forget that working with wool dries my hands out so much.
Anyway, whatever you are up to today, I hope it goes well for you, have a good one!
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2024-10-16 10:50:07

I hate crocs with a passion, I find them insanely uncomfortable. These appeared online this morning and honestly, I can't decide if they are the most hideous or the most fabulous crocs I have ever seen.
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2024-10-12 07:31:38

Was sorting my hair after my shower, sitting at my desk doing it....now I have curly hair that is rapidly going grey. When I can, I just use my fingers to sort my hair out, a brush does it no good.
Nephew comes in, looks at me, "bit early for Halloween are you not?"
Cheeky shitebag 😂

2024-10-08 17:29:39

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yeah yeah, never mind the sneakers....Doggos! 😁

2024-09-27 06:13:51

After I hang up on the NHS Mh support, cause seriously, they are sending more triggers my way... She phones back with "All I care about is, are you safe now and how can we help"
I say how she can help, to be met with "oh, we can't do that, we don't deal with autism" thats not an MH problem.
Honestly, fuck it. FUCK IT ALL.
DONE!

2024-09-25 05:40:12

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I'm pretty brutal with myself since I spiral down so bloody quickly. I get the time slipping away though, if I don't get stuff done (or started) by a certain time, its just not going to happen cause my body will have given up for the day.
I am going to add a but here, and it might be me giving your butt a little kick (in a gentle way). You did say yesterday you were going to push yourself and do it, so just DO IT 😉

2024-09-25 04:42:08

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I know.
I have to *force* myself to do the things, even stitching or gaming, I grumble the first hour of doing, moaning that I'm not in the mood, but then I get engrossed in what I'm doing and hours pass.
I do understand it is very different for everyone.

2024-09-25 03:46:55

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You recognise that its the depression talking, so that is a good thing.
You know what you need to do to break the cycle, that is also a good thing.
I hate the crash that comes after good things happen, its always the same, I've stopped fighting it, I sit with it, rant about it so it isn't taking up brain space, do the things I enjoy - stitching, gaming, getting outside for a bit, and it passes, back to calm brain.

2024-09-25 03:15:59

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You are your own worst critic, and unfairly so. I do wish depression wasn't so mean!

2024-09-25 02:59:43

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You know what you need to do, so give yourself some credit for that.
Sounds like a win with the vet, saving a little money is always good, especially when you know a medication bill will be coming.
I hope you can go gentle with yourself today 😊

2024-09-23 21:35:06

Head woozy.
Body sore.
Bedtime.
Next time you see me, I will be glugging coffee and getting ready for the long awaited steroid injection.
Night folks 😘

2024-09-22 04:10:44

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Do your cockatiels get a berry too?