Zero Forks :AngeryCat:

It’s Britney, bitch.

Public Key

npub1terxkuvqae5nlywe88mff2gvkt8rmeq3rmy260lnzyhgzclhgvtqkf8pnz

NIP-05 Address

zeroforks_at_mastodon.social@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs9u3ntwxqwu6flj8vnna554yxt9n3ausg3aj9d8le3zt5pv0m5x9s2cu2ll

Author Public Key

npub1terxkuvqae5nlywe88mff2gvkt8rmeq3rmy260lnzyhgzclhgvtqkf8pnz

Show more details

Last Notes

2024-11-16 03:29:54

You know how few 140 characters really is? Cause this is it. It feels like such a small amount, but truthfully you probably never need more.

2024-09-09 22:47:40

- reply

@npub1dts…6798 ok, see this usage of AI I can get behind. Imagine the amazing therapeutic work that this could do in helping others accept and work through trauma.

2024-08-07 05:04:30

For all of those who suffered trauma due to Trump’s term, I hope this November you cry tears of joy for what our country can and will be very soon. I know I will.

2024-07-04 22:07:54

I think it’s time to really accept that between the rise of AI and the war on women’s rights, we are headed into Stepford Wives territory. All the puzzle pieces are there, so it’s not a matter of IF it will happen, it’s a matter of when.

2024-06-28 23:26:06

I swear to god if I had been on the jury for Trump’s case I’d have been like, “Alrighty bros, hoes, and pinky toes, we all know he’s guilty as hell, but we are also tired. What do you say we take 11 hours to deliberate, but 10 of those hours we just nap here. It will be our little secret.”

2024-05-31 22:48:30

Look, if you aren’t posting a fake obituary in your ex’s hometown newspaper then don’t call it “ghosting”. You’re playing on an amateur level, and need to step up your game. Also, side note, haunting their local 100 year old hotel and becoming a local legend is worth extra credit.

2024-05-31 19:31:59

Yes, Trump was convicted, but let’s not take a breath too soon. Celebrate his conviction, but while doing that be sure to stand firm on making sure it doesn’t happen again. At the end of the day, we elected a convicted felon, and the chance of that happening again isn’t as far from reality as most of us would like. Stop thinking of it from the perspective of winning against him, and more from what can we do to ensure we don’t repeat history… which we SOOOO love to do.

2024-05-31 01:53:06

Can we all take a moment to remember that Paula Abdul was constantly mocked for her obvious drug addiction, so much that it just became a known thing. INSTEAD OF GETTING HELP for her, we (myself included) just laughed it off as Paula being Paula. Looking back now I clearly see just how toxic and selfish that was.
It was a different time, though. It really was. Addiction and mental health were not openly discussed. But at least we have learned/are learning to better understand one another.

2024-05-30 23:16:09

Where can I get a “Thank you for staging an intervention concerning my drug use” card?
This cashier at CVS is just staring at me like I asked them where to get said drugs…

2024-05-29 00:55:51

And why again is “cheesy” an insult??

2024-05-27 20:00:35

One time I had a one night stand with this guy who was on shrooms who thought I was a dragon. But he was into it, so I was into it. And that’s probably the weirdest role playing I’ve ever been a part of. Also probably the most fun.

2024-04-07 20:51:53

Been there, done that, and thought I had learned my lesson until I did it again.

2024-04-04 17:50:54

I used to be so afraid of aging. Until I realized that the most important things are the things it takes you decades to learn. Youth is a handicap. Youth blinds you from seeing the truth clearly. You are unable to hear someone’s intentions instead of their words. It prevents you from walking away sooner because you know your time is more important than their feelings.

2024-02-27 03:17:52

You ever get offended by your phone when you look like shit but it unlocks with no issues using Face ID?
Like oh. Really? So that’s how it is?

2024-01-06 18:44:58

Yesterday a 6 year old asked me if I could do the Vulcan salute, and that’s how I know this generation is gonna be ok.

2023-11-23 02:26:17

Them:
“It must be really difficult to be single and without kids during this time of the year…”
Me, rolling around naked in bed on top of all the money I’ve saved by not buying tons of Christmas presents:
“Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever you say.”

2023-11-19 16:38:42

I hate how often someone on the west coast will assume since I’m from a certain city I’m the east coast, then I automatically know someone else from that city. I also hate how often I do.

2023-11-14 17:13:23

Consider this, if Trump gets re-elected, we should just ignore him. He wants attention, and if half of the media just ceases to acknowledge him it would drive him crazy. Reporting news about him won’t lessen the damage he has and will do. But ignoring him will drive him up the wall. Sure, we all care what shenanigans he is up to, and that’s part of the problem. It’s probably half of the reason he does what he does. We feed his ego, and encourage him, and that makes us a little at fault as well.

2023-11-11 16:43:19

All those kids who were teens in the 90s are old enough now to be losing their wallets regularly, and can once again be hip by purchasing a wallet chain, only this time for practical purposes.
We have come full circle.
We shall take back the night.
As long as we are home, and in bed, by 9PM.
10PM maybe, if it’s the weekend.

2023-11-08 16:21:39

If I only remember the name of your pet, and not your name, don’t take that as me not paying attention. It’s just that I was paying attention to what was important.

2023-10-28 23:53:08

Took in 3 foster kittens today, which are quickly turning into 3 adopted kittens. Because KITTENS.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/315/319/240/163/867/original/08fd82e2951075ee.png
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/315/320/736/324/497/original/baed0442999b1247.png
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/315/323/046/183/587/original/3e1593f53d6d9b7d.png
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/315/324/175/065/208/original/0ec30ab414f7e344.png

2023-09-25 02:54:42

- reply

@npub1ddp…2tax ok ok. You’ve got me there.

2023-09-24 23:03:35

But you do understand that as an adult with free will, when given the choice between doing the dishes or eating cereal out of a Solo cup while watching House Hunters, I’m picking the latter 100% of the time. Right? You get that?

2023-09-08 05:29:37

- reply

@npub1tel…4v4v really dropped the ball by not getting that extended warranty on him.

2023-08-31 02:27:01

Just thinking about the absurdity of how “grow a pair (of balls)” is used as the standard for being tough, when in reality women literally have their boobs flattened out for a mammogram, and that would quite possibly make someone with balls pass out from the pain. So GROW A PAIR OF TITS, DUDE.

2023-08-21 00:41:33

Man, I have a big decision on my plate. It’s pretty serious. Should I use dill or sweet relish on the hotdog I’m eating as I watch the planet and humanity crumble down around me?

2023-08-20 04:55:28

- reply

@npub14ux…jx88 what in the “this extends past my intelligence level” does this mean?

2023-08-20 03:38:52

I know tomorrow is gonna suck weather wise. But I gotta say, as someone who lives in the desert/Palm Springs area, today was fucking great. It was only 80° instead of the usual 110°. I took two naps to the sound of rain on my roof. I took a walk between the rainstorms without worrying about getting sunburned. I jumped in a mud puddle. Amazing.

2023-08-14 18:24:30

- reply

@npub1nn8…8sed here’s another rather accurate review of the general public.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/110/889/365/211/821/672/original/74547da2642e5635.png

2023-08-08 05:37:56

Be your own soul mate. Be the support system you need. Laugh at your own inside jokes. Buy yourself a gift to celebrate even the smallest of accomplishments. Bake yourself a birthday cake. Burn down your own house for blatantly disrespecting yourself. Love the things that make you, you.

2023-07-17 04:49:02

The song American Pie is 8 and 1/2 minutes long, and at age 20 I knew every single word of it. Now at age 40 I can’t enter a six digit log in code without rechecking it 3 times.

2023-06-26 05:01:14

5 things I’ve learned the hard way:
1 - don’t skip sunscreen. I don’t care who you are, what age you are, use sun protection
2 - feed your curiosity. Never let that part of you die.
3 - never take anything personal. Because it most likely isn’t.
4 - if you love someone, TELL THEM. You will probably never regret telling them, but you most certainly will regret choosing not to.
5 - drink more water. If you even question whether or not you’ve had enough, you haven’t.

2023-06-09 16:50:15

Neighbor on a stroll was screaming for his dog, and I came outside to see what the hell was going on and he goes, “your chicken tried to attack my dog (a rather large pit)!” So I asked if his dog was in the yard and he said yeah, that it was curious about the chickens but the mama chicken (has 5 chicks) attacked him. Meanwhile his dog is cowering in fear of the big bad chicken. Tammy (hen) just kept side eyeing the dog like DO IT. I DARE YOU.

2023-05-25 18:23:04

The only response I give to unsolicited dick pics is more dick pics, and I’m talking 30-40 more, and honestly, I’ve never gotten a reply that wasn’t perfectly hypocritical. Replies like: “Please stop sending me pictures of dicks”. “I’m going to block you if you send another picture of a cock”. “How many pictures of dicks do you have??”

2023-04-19 03:15:38

Breaking Bad has been OVER for almost a decade now. That realization stings just a bit.

2023-03-31 19:39:27

- reply

#[0] well don’t leave us hanging! What was the meme??