Green Roc Thoughts

Have you seen me before?
Maybe. This is my second account. Created because settings in my previous account were preventing me from following some friends.

What am I doing on Mastodon?
Trying to find a place that feels like Twitter before it changed hands in Nov 2022

What I type about?
My thoughts. Usually whatever comes to my mind. Keeping my thoughts to myself feels selfish and wrong. I enjoy sharing and caring.

Public Key

npub1q38pz8jgjt5syxsrldeeddjppmc3s0zzg6naxq3cj3n6kwfrww3s88s8ua

NIP-05 Address

GreenRoc_at_mastodon.social@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsqgns3reyf96gzrgplkuukkeqsaugc83pydf7nqgufgeat8y3h8gcpzemhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0wd68ytnzv9hxgqg3waehxw309ahx7um5wgerztnrdakss4dl9h

Publishing to

relay.nostr.band

nostr21.com

Author Public Key

npub1q38pz8jgjt5syxsrldeeddjppmc3s0zzg6naxq3cj3n6kwfrww3s88s8ua

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Last Notes

2024-10-28 00:56:38

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@npub1gnx…d5kh Ohhh I HATE that hidden food trick.
I can relate with accidental hidden food. My body loathes lettuce... I had to be very clear at Taco bell, do not let lettuce get into my Cheese Quesadilla...
Too many times they let the little strip of lettuce get in there, so I stopped buying the Cheese Quesadilla. My mouth could taste one shred out of a whole quesadilla.

2024-10-28 00:46:17

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I'm not mad at the dogs either... I just wanna live where there arent any dogs. Wishing the dogs and their owners lived elsewhere.
I hate living right next to the yard where residents chose for their unofficial dog park.

2024-10-28 00:33:42

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@npub1gnx…d5kh Agreed. Then maybe they would stop calling me a picky eater, or saying "wah wah" to me, or make their dog shut the F up... And ban bass in cars/neighborhoods, and make unscented EVERYTHING.
Just some thoughts.

2024-10-24 14:03:04

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@npub1lzz…jhl3 Trump scares me.
Hitler led people to allow and perform the murder of millions.
Trump in charge with his plans, would leave me to die, homeless and starving to death.

2024-10-21 05:58:44

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@npub1gnx…d5kh Intelligence is not the only thing some people can be good at. Some people maybe exceptionally skilled in a physical action, or in creating something beautiful to look at. IQ isnt the absolute determining factor of someone's sole worth.
I personally avoid comparing myself to others, as each of us are valuable and important in our own individual ways.

2024-09-28 18:02:55

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@npub1gnx…d5kh How humiliating. Damned strangers. Grrr 🤬
If not for them other humans having opinions about how I should and should not appear... I would be WAAAY less stressed.

2024-09-28 16:22:43

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@npub1csg…pfvq "Woke" was always something, with me, that stood for good. It meant acceptance of differences, equity for all, no bigotry, fairness, good good good.
Somehow, somewhere, some folks made "woke" something bad.
Some video I watched somewhere did an interview with some dude who didnt like woke. The dude could never explain what woke was. As far as I could collect in my memory of what dude didnt like, accommodating disabled people was something "woke"
Dude's woke definition unclear.

2024-09-18 19:50:38

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I want my Crystal Pokemon Battery recharged 😭

2024-09-14 05:13:56

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@npub1csg…pfvq Indeed. Earth was here eons before humans existed... Earth will be here long after we are all gone.
From Dust to Dust.

2024-09-07 06:40:07

@npub1gnx…d5kh I bought Zero Dawn on Steam. Any tips you got for newbies? Or dont mind me asking if you are busy.

2024-09-06 18:12:59

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@npub1wdr…85ra Damn, I'm shocked this life-threatening abuse happens. 💔

2024-08-30 17:08:29

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@npub1gnx…d5kh Blowing dust I suspect. Making the sidewalk look pristine. Too lazy to sweep probably.

2024-08-13 22:29:23

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I dont like games that make me feel miserable or stressed. Hard to find a game that pleases me without making me feel miserable.

2024-08-05 20:51:28

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@npub1rax…8p4w "Biden" is political.

2024-08-05 20:51:28

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@npub1rax…8p4w "Biden" is political.

2024-08-04 03:55:58

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@npub1gnx…d5kh Stimming in public, brave! I want to stim in public too.

2024-08-03 23:18:24

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@npub1gnx…d5kh lol.
The worst texture imo: raw vegetables.
My jaw hurts from the crunch.

2024-08-02 20:33:42

I had a meltdown at Wal-Mart and several strangers reacted badly! They thought to "Grab" me. This is the WRONG reaction for me!
Why grabbing is wrong:
To "Grab" me is to add more sensory input when I am overloaded with sensory input. Dont TOUCH me.
Grabbing is WRONG!
My curiosity wants to know why "grab her" was the cashier's instruction to my carer?
My friend (carer) had to physically get in the way of people's hands reaching out towards me, so they would not touch me.
#ActuallyAutistic

2024-07-11 00:21:29

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@npub1gnx…d5kh So not the last page? Maybe I got confused.

2024-07-11 00:17:22

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@npub1gnx…d5kh "Notice is informational." if that is the status of some document, I probably want those three words existing as some of the very first three words I see, and not a backpage after thought. 🤔

2024-07-10 13:30:14

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@npub1lzz…jhl3 This article is telling me stuff I appreciate knowing.
Biden's stutter worried me, and I had far too many worries regarding Trump. I personally appreciate you sharing this information with Mastodon.

2024-07-10 04:05:18

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I genuinely want someone else, besides those two.
Home genocide or overseas genocide is not a good set of options imho.

2024-07-09 23:15:11

I wish I could install a "mute" switch in my brain.
To turn off "line in" with my hearing, to turn off vocal chords, so no more screaming when I'm furious.
Mostly, I wanna turn off my hearing, and have my hearing back on when I need hearing.
I cant help but hear EVERYTHING around me.
I cant just NOT overhear my roommate, or neighbors, or dogs, or sirens, or engines, bells buzzes pings bings dings...and I dont forget about those dang leafblowers.
I would like an "off" switch for my hearing.

2024-07-02 21:25:49

Hey Masto fam.... how do I counter the effects of a dopamene blocker I was forced to take at a hospital?

2024-06-27 03:47:25

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@npub1csg…pfvq Nope. I guess I shoulda read the article before commenting, my mistake.

2024-06-27 03:31:48

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@npub1csg…pfvq Am I allowed to buy gifts now too?
I was forbidden from buying gifts for my roommate.

2024-06-04 10:53:01

Woke up this time from body aches, having slept past my gabapentin pill time.
My theory, which I hadnt put into words, was that if I were to train my conscious to remain calm no matter what, then I could train my subconscious to also remain calm...
A dream I have had this day has presented me with a scenario where I remained calm, even tho the situation would have made me scream and panic.
I feel now, since I started early this year my theory in practice, has shown results I am looking for.

2024-05-21 12:10:08

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@npub1qzc…yetl "They paved paradise and put in a parking lot"

2024-05-18 14:11:24

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@npub1djh…zatj wtf is 'reasonable' anyways 🤷‍♀️
Such an undefined term.
(I adore your art and sayings, thank you for tooting, hooting into mastodon)

2024-05-15 22:22:20

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@npub1gnx…d5kh When extra large was added as bigger than large. I got confused too.
I live on west coast, so, uh, idk how they do it on the east side. I might be confused too.

2024-05-15 22:16:50

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@npub1gnx…d5kh One of the reasons I never set up scripts for my interactions with others, is because the other person almost always doesn't follow the script, and I'm terrible at improv.

2024-05-13 11:12:37

I'll continue to seek for a way to feel ok.
#ActuallyAutistic

2024-05-04 00:10:11

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@npub1djh…zatj I been following your social media for over a year, and this one might be my personal favorite.

2024-05-02 22:26:19

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@npub1gnx…d5kh May I ask what is "SRS"?
I googled and the results confused me with too many variables (the first one on the list was a roofing store in my local area, not helpful that google)

2024-05-02 13:43:07

My text/word forms of gratitude seem both overdoing it and underdoing it.
I find myself accused of being ungrateful and over-thankful.
I honestly cannot find a balance to reduce criticism from both extremes.
The variance tends to be within the recipient usually, and not something I can fix within myself.
My gratitude exists without words.

2024-05-01 10:45:45

I didnt start speaking until I was four (as far as I can recall).
I had words inside me since I was two. My mouth took some practice to make the right sounds.
#ActuallyAutistic

2024-04-28 19:06:59

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I wish I was there. I wish none of us had to hide ourselves.

2024-04-13 15:38:47

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@npub1gnx…d5kh 🤗

2024-04-13 05:03:56

I'm trying to get myself to not cuss so much.
So I can be a little more tolerable by the people who can actually do something to make my life a little better.
and to be less irritating to those who care about me but cant stand the cussin.

2024-04-12 22:42:17

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@npub15x4…3p3l I remember long ago, I bought Pillsbury Sugar Cookie "safe to eat raw" Cookie Dough, because it lacked the chips and I could eat it right out of the package.

2024-04-12 21:54:55

Anti-Autism is damaging to my soul.
I need autism acceptance to live.
#ActuallyAutistic

2024-04-06 22:19:22

Question, what does a stranger mean by "Get over yourself"?
Then assumes I'm a "kiddo"
and then blocked me.
"get over"? like an ego? I dont have one. I hate myself so much I wanna kill myself but, I'm such a coward I don't want the pain so I dont off myself.
How do old folk (referred to his age as very much an adult) get to be like them?
I had offered them help.
They ignored me.
I wish i understood why an old fart grows to those extremes in a brief interaction.

2024-03-30 20:03:26

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@npub1psd…9sr7 Some cities can be so adamant with obedience to zoning laws. 🤬

2024-03-30 20:03:26

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@npub1psd…9sr7 Some cities can be so adamant with obedience to zoning laws. 🤬

2024-03-30 11:03:51

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@npub1gnx…d5kh Oh gosh I miss zip drives so much.

2024-03-29 17:18:40

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@npub1mm5…9qt8
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/180/107/099/145/453/original/2fda00353b6f385c.png

2024-03-29 16:32:51

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I think I got the terminologies wrong... The Steam App for PC uses the engine that is related to whatever the Chomium thing is.
The terms are probably beyond my mental understanding.

2024-03-29 16:18:35

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I have so much rage against chromium, I wish I could opt out without sacrificing my Steam games. I much preferred HTML.

2024-03-29 10:28:01

I do feel I have changed somewhat in the past year or two since I joined mastodon. Was a really hard and difficult lesson for me to learn to be ok with being blocked, or not followed.
I had to accept I am not going to be liked by everyone, and somehow get myself to not feel overwhelming shame from rejection.
That shame still tingles, but not as strong.
I feel I have grown as a person, a mental growth, not a physical one, unless you consider the brain being altered as a physical change *shrug*

2024-03-28 09:02:50

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I like to eat Whoppers your way too. I also take the shell off of MnM's too, inside my mouth. I like to let the chocolate melt. I didnt like Peanut MnM's as the peanut was not the sweetest part.

2024-03-26 04:49:09

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@npub1gnx…d5kh The colors remind me of a roll of Spree candy.

2024-03-25 18:36:08

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I wish Google could be 'opt-out'.
I wish sometimes, we could go back to stand-alone consoles.
Buy a cartridge. No updates needed.

2024-03-24 23:49:04

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@npub1gnx…d5kh The best of my best exists in a deviantart Gallery:
https://www.deviantart.com/green-roc/gallery
I cant draw like that anymore. I only could draw like that when I could afford a draw-on-screen tablet and my hand wasnt so easily angered from the carpal tunnel I got in High School detention trying to satisfy my parents desires for better grades...
Carpal bosses are painfully annoying.

2024-03-24 17:32:19

My language gets all dumb fuckery because I was abused into speaking.
I draw artwork a lot fucking better than I can communicate.
I like to draw cute things.

2024-03-22 19:04:10

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@npub1mm5…9qt8 212 units with about 12 units each building being separate. People getting lost in these apartments have been going on since I moved in back in 1995.
I cant know if others complain, but I could bet some others residents have experienced lost deliveries because sometimes these lost people come to my door.
I have trauma with sudden sounds so phones and doorbells unexpected is quite disturbing to my life, I wish to avoid the discomfort.

2024-03-22 19:01:15

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@npub1mm5…9qt8 I can relate, took me ages to be more open to suggestions, I used to be sooooo stubborn against suggestions, only because of the numerous times I'd have people angry at me for not immediately taking and using the suggestions...
I find myself getting very useful suggestions sometimes if I leave myself open for suggestions.

2024-03-22 18:55:27

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@npub1mm5…9qt8 As far as the building number, the building is four digits and the numbers are HUGE, About four feet all or bigger.
If someone isnt looking for the building number, they probably wont see the large tall numbers on the second floor's wall. Also, Shiny Silver chrome (the four numbers) on pale green (the stucco painted) on the second floor doesnt stand out very well imo. People have to look UP to see the numbers.

2024-03-22 18:52:07

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@npub1mm5…9qt8 I was thinking of the delivery instructions option as you were typing! I'm open to suggestions as long as I'm ok to turn any of them down.
Some companies I order from have less than 15 character spaces (Papa Johns). Amazon I am unaware of, as I ask my roommate to place the order since he has the Prime and I dont.
InstaCart has some instruction space, but I struggle to fit instructions into the small space, and some of them get lost anyways.
I hope you dont get lost lol!

2024-03-22 18:24:41

Apartment Manager: "I'm sorry for the minor inconvenience, please reach out to your delivery service"
The service is A HUMAN BEING, and THREE different DELIVERY companies PLUS any random human being that gets lost getting to my apartment... My issue is not isolated to a delivery service. Delivery services and my guests cant fix what is an APARTMENT problem.
This is NOT the first time, nor second nor THIRD that someone has gotten lost on their way to my apartment.
1/?

2024-03-22 04:22:43

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@npub1rax…8p4w Haste makes waste. Good art is not rushed.

2024-03-17 20:46:44

I really really LIKE when someone out there is in agreement with how I feel about stuff.
These interactions make me happier. Thank you all of you too many to name, you are fantastic and help make me feel a little less insane and broken.

2024-03-16 21:18:11

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@npub1gnx…d5kh I loathe the feeling of moist fluid on my skin.
Anything hot feels like the most painful thing I have ever felt, especially the temperature expected of hand-washing, so many faucets in public are too damned hot.
It's a pain! I wont go into walking barefoot on hot coals, or doing a 'polar bear plunge' because that hurts dammit.
Strong relate!

2024-03-12 22:24:07

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@npub1lzz…jhl3 Their attitude against Social Security is scary almost death threatening, as Social Security as it is currently, is not enough to cover my basic needs as a human being who cannot work in American Economy Environments. I dont speak the language or go at the pace expected, but this body of mine still needs food, sleep, housing, entertainment... am I merely fodder to be left for dead because my 'productivity' was never financially beneficial to the almightly Trump god?
Ughhhh.

2024-03-06 04:39:58

How can someone with PTSD heal from trauma when the trauma continues to happen?

2024-03-04 23:10:10

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@npub15x4…3p3l I was in the hospital last month, unconscious for 6 days. I could die from a common cold (MS-related) and I was blessed with a friend who sat by my bedside as much as she could to make sure there was a mask on my face, while most of the hospital staff did not mask.
I've lost my sense of taste.

2024-03-02 16:46:42

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@npub18lj…80hq Growing up, I was called rude a lot. Told I was lacking manners.
I have vague memories of being told "dont be rude, ask politely." I never really understood why so much verbal potpourri was necessary.
Not just you.
Some kinda social dance I dont comprehend.
I had a Boyfriend ask me "how are your parents?" I said fine, and he asked again with more emphasis.
I didnt realize he was asking me to ask him about his parents. 🙄

2024-02-29 18:24:45

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@npub1gnx…d5kh Koda, I am broken.
6+ days unconscous.
Two ambulance rides.
I missed a lot too, within my own life this month.

2024-02-28 04:22:25

Based on timing of the sounds I hear while I sit at my front door waiting for the cops to arrive....
The cat I suspected might be livin pstairs does not seem to be a ccat to me anymore.......
but rather.... a 60+ pound white dog.

2024-02-18 02:27:33

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@npub1djh…zatj Effin, may I copy your image and put into my banner?
It is your creation.
I want to make sure I have the proper permissions.
It is ok if you say no.
If nothing said.
I do not do.
I like your image, so much.
Corvid.
I am so very much traumatized.

2024-02-17 13:28:37

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@npub18p3…03wh I may have lost interest to trust those words when I read "brats".
I read the whole image out of curiosity.
I do not like jokes, and that image, may be what is going on in my head when I say I do not like jokes... except for the "brats" part.
If it said kiddies, maybe then, I would not feel unpleasently while reading the third bubble.

2024-02-10 00:03:53

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@npub1gmx…atcq Sounds like the figurative boxes we're expected to fit into, getting smaller and smaller, and some of us have been unable to fit. More rules made, more people become unfit for the society they try to manage and contain.
I feel a strong relation to existing outside the expected box of a form I haven't fit into since birth, boxes made smaller and smaller, like a noose around our necks.

2024-02-08 01:49:00

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@npub1khx…geyg My favorite critter is the Ring-Tailed Lemur!
My mom's favorite was Okapi.

2024-02-02 04:54:23

I'm ready to get busy reading, I hope this book makes me feel better!
"We're Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation"
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/860/089/927/896/884/original/ad7bf8357b290153.jpg

2024-01-21 02:25:28

This article describes so much of what I have been experiencing for decades!
with sudden sounds, and deep bass, including but not limited to dog barks.
I feel trapped and uncontrollably raging when I hear the things that drive me out of control!
https://psyche.co/ideas/the-reason-little-noises-drive-you-mad-is-about-more-than-sounds

2024-01-17 09:31:54

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@npub18p3…03wh To Be Continued... And then there are no further messages, now I understand. I expect a reply if a toot ends in three dots. No reply from the typist annoys me too.
🙄

2024-01-17 09:24:54

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@npub18p3…03wh I've had people compliment me for breaking up my sentences. I did not realize my instinctive "..." (where my mind pauses, or where I will add a reply shortly after) was a thing people block over. I dont understand the offense, and I dont wish to be a bother to anyone. I dont recognize which Gen I am in, born in 1977.
I intend no malice. /genuine

2024-01-17 07:12:53

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@npub15x4…3p3l imo, killing people is wrong. Period.
Doesnt matter what political side, or what ideaologies, or what borders exist or dont exist... Killing people is wrong.

2024-01-15 09:09:32

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@npub1psd…9sr7 Story share: My mom died of a treatable condition because she didnt wanna spend her retirement fund on in-home care, she died before requirement age, in a way that her death could have been avoided if she got the care she needed, but she wasn't covered for the care by her government because she had too much money in her retirement fund, money she spent her life to earn, money she avoided using, and never used because she died.
TL:DR;
If not for money, my mom might still be alive today.

2024-01-15 09:07:05

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@npub1psd…9sr7 I want an abolishment of money. The love of money is the root of all evil.
I strongly believe that people's lives are more important than all the monetary currencies in the world.

2024-01-09 01:43:31

The "Culture" of the neurotypicals, is what broke me.
I am not compatible with their culture.
Figuratively speaking, to shove a round peg into a square hole, you are going to damage the peg.
I do not fit.
I broke myself trying to fit.
I never should have tried, because I dont belong in the square.
I belong with the round pegs.

2024-01-05 19:08:11

I post about the inequalities I personally suffer, and I reply a lot to share my thoughts and stories to help people like myself, around the world, find some hope and peace and solidarity for their existence on this planet.
If I do anything with my life, I wanna help contribute to the narrative about people like me existing.
I want to be heard by the forces outside of my life, to listen and do something to stop suffering I face as a result of inhospitable treatment of autistics.

2024-01-04 19:33:47

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@npub1lzz…jhl3 Thank you for listening, it is rare someone believes me when I say I dont make points. 👍

2024-01-04 18:59:04

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@npub1lzz…jhl3 I dont have points, sorry I am a weaver, not a concluder.
I was sharing my thoughts.
Nevermind, I'm not sure we can understand eachother.

2024-01-04 18:36:57

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@npub1lzz…jhl3 Neither person is a good choice imo, I am against both Biden and Trump as president. I dont carry indirect messages, I am autistic.

2024-01-04 18:26:09

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@npub1lzz…jhl3 So strong I am struggling to afford my needs (practically zero health care) while depending 100% on American Government disability support systems.
Strong Economy? I dont notice it from way down here. 🙄

2024-01-03 17:52:12

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@npub1zdp…vqv8 I'm honestly trying to exist as myself in this country where I was born a mile from where I live now.
I am not trying to conquer anyone, but myself. I want to have my own autonomy, but laws being made (and many already exist) which are denying my right to exist as myself.
I live in a mental state of terror, of myself, for the parts of me that will get me hurt by others (and I have been hurt before), are parts of me I cannot hide unless I am not seen, or heard.

2024-01-03 00:14:42

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@npub1200…aqy2 :BlobhajHeart:

2024-01-03 00:11:52

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@npub1200…aqy2 So much THIS!
I can only know myself. What I know of everyone else is what I see on the outside.
You, and only you, are the only one who knows how you feel on the inside. I can believe what you say with what you feel. Only what you say about how I feel will be up for debate with me.
I think you are a wonderful human being.

2024-01-02 23:16:57

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@npub1200…aqy2
Good Luck 🖖
Have fun.
More demons to slay.

2023-12-31 21:37:14

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@npub15th…6nvx @npub1d7j…u8xc I live in USA all my 4+ decades, and I am definitely not free.

2023-12-30 17:21:00

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@npub1t7d…pqpp "Every time I look at the drawers of 'put away' items, especially old cell phones and tablets, I see still-functioning devices that could continue to serve a purpose. " Same. If not for the "upgrade" that a company decided on, some of my devices could be used fully. Instead, I have a Blackberry, a 5x7 tablet, and several mobile phones that can still take a charge and power up to it's main screen. W/o mobile connection, they're overpriced timers. I dont like waste of undamaged hardware.

2023-12-22 06:56:17

My wrist is slightly swollen. Carpal tunnel prevening me from enjoying PC games.
Anyone know of any free survival/collection PC games that dont require a mouse to enjoy?

2023-12-20 10:18:25

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@npub1psd…9sr7 Wrong Answers: Nickname for Elon's private jet.

2023-12-13 20:13:50

i reply a lot when I'm here on mastodon looking around.
I have no intent to offend anyone.
No intent to offend whatsoever.
So many people, so many different varieties of likes and dislikes.
I know I dont get along with everyone, but I dont always know who, and I dont always remember.
I would like to get along with everyone, but...
Life taught me, everyone getting along is impossible. Not always from anyone doing bad or wrong, but often from differences in personalities.
I'm human too.

2023-12-13 00:19:58

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One molehill at a time,
dug up and tossed away,
on this mountain of trauma
contained within me.

2023-12-13 00:18:55

I think I like my new change of aura on Mastodon.
Flow of events: death of kissinger, followed by my confusion on people 'cheering' then unexpected consequences of me telling people how wrong it was to celebrate death, to me realizing one of the core elements of how I was broken by my parents:
My parents punished me for NOT calling out the kid doing a bad.
I am slamming the brakes on my criticism that was punished into my subconscious.
Another wrong treatment that messed me up, I'm fixing!

2023-12-12 22:51:55

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@npub1d7j…u8xc I wish I could yeet every piece of paperwork I'm required to do, into the void of nothingness.
I feel like I'm merely a tick on a box by some official who wants glory for helping disabled people. Oh the egos them leaders and billionaires may have that may never be sated.

2023-12-05 23:06:00

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@npub1tps…9rmt
Internet friend: FalcoSkyWolf
Page: https://www.redbubble.com/people/falcoskywolf/shop
I bought a comforter with Spiderweb Winged Serpent Dragon, and several notebooks with graph paper.
@npub1hjd…lt8p

2023-12-02 20:08:12

My brain is reminding me, that a very long time ago, somewhere in my teenage years, I set myself to prove that I could be liked by anyone and everyone, as I had previously been told by someone that someone not liking me is my own fault...
Decades later, I have failed to prove them correct. People not liking me isnt up to me. I cannot please everyone.

2023-12-02 15:01:25

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@npub18lj…80hq I had a dream I was a little boy on the back of a bike and in front of me was a man under a public transit vehicle screaming and his legs were missing.
I woke to find the news, a boy's father was run over by a trolley.
My spookys seem to go into very dark ranges of scary.

2023-11-29 19:26:56

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@npub178r…qekt I'm unashamedly honest.
When I was in jr high, someone was unlocking my locker lock and turning it upside down, I never found out who. I was laughed at and mocked having to turn myself upside-down to unlock my locker (dyspraxia something) was mocked and shamed in front of other students, while also being accused of being too stupid to make sure I lock my lock properly.
Whoever you are, I NEVER FORGOT THAT DAMAGE. Damn bully. I hope karma paid you well.

2023-11-23 20:08:44

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@npub1f2z…kh0y Am I forgiven for my past mistakes?
I was lost, and some parts of me still are lost, but I find bits and pieces of me here and there as I rediscover what I left behind under the rules and regulations of humanity I was tricked and abused into obeying.
Screeaaaammmmmmmm

2023-09-04 19:36:12

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@npub189n…satx my ancestors were racist, murderous fuckwads.
My mom hated Mexicans and queers.
My grandpa shot cats with his BB gun.
I'm not guilty for their actions I personally loathe. I'm not them.
I didnt grab his hands to make him shoot the cats, and I worked hard to unlearn inherited hate for Mexicans and gays and not let my mom know I no longer agreed to her hatred.

2023-08-22 13:01:07

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@npub1qzc…yetl All three feelings imo too.
I feel they are deciding too fast to do something possibly irreversible.