Geordie

@npub1fuh…3kut is the picture even depicting what they’re saying it’s depicting or is it just a DJ at a desk with people surrounding her because that’s all I’m getting.

2024-07-19 09:01:45

“What the gen X shit are you talking about?” My former son just now.

2024-07-17 09:52:44

I could very easily fuck it all off and move to New Zealand

2024-07-10 10:38:59

The intersection of the drug war and neoreformation is extremely my areas.
From: @npub15zu…s7lx
https://mastodon.social/@glynmoody/112761743318603910

2024-07-07 10:25:44

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@npub19xu…e8yd oh yeah, no I’m not. I’m Aussie. Sorry about that deporting thing too.

2024-07-07 10:23:02

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@npub19xu…e8yd what is a 501?

2024-07-07 10:20:30

NZ travel declaration lodged.

2024-07-02 08:25:47

Why do YouTube board game reviewers look like this?
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/715/939/550/787/732/original/6c1aebd238edc79a.jpg

2024-06-30 22:12:12

Other one for the hive mind - a couple of days ago someone on here said they were having a bit of a struggle with their mail. They lost someone recently and all their mail is related to the administrivia of that and it hurts and they were wondering if someone would send them a letter just so their post isn't 100% grief-inducing. Did anyone else see this because I'd like to help...

2024-06-16 09:12:08

Summoning a basketball team.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/625/522/328/887/785/original/3bcde04db9ae0a24.jpeg

2024-06-01 23:55:52

I have to go to Warriewood this afternoon which means my first B-Line bus ride.

2024-06-01 10:33:56

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@npub1xr8…3q0g I’ve wanted this for years.

2024-05-31 00:50:08

Before, and after. #fuckdownlights
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/532/950/874/848/242/original/6d85832944bb525b.jpeg
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/532/950/920/035/482/original/151618e7bce2f86a.jpeg

2024-05-28 08:17:38

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@npub1mxu…3edu I'm looking forward to the outcome of billionaire dudebros betting their longevity that they are smarter than experts.

2024-05-22 21:28:38

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@npub1mxu…3edu this baby elephant I snapped at a sanctuary in Thailand. She wanted treats.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/486/861/220/729/768/original/f577195d6d74fde0.jpeg

2024-05-18 08:11:07

When recipes call for a 4cm piece of ginger I feel like there was an agreement on uniformity in the two other dimensions that I missed.

2024-05-08 05:35:21

SO, if I was feeling old before...
Wife: "You can't write the trivia answers because of your handwriting."
Me: "What the fuck are you talking about my handwriting is great. It's neat, cursive with the occasional restrained flourish from a gorgeous pen filled with gorgeous ink."
Wife: "and that's the problem. The folks running the trivia are in their twenties. They don't ever write by hand or read handwritten words. They read screens and printed pages. They can't read your answers."

2024-05-04 02:01:36

Ornithologists are taking the piss.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/380/350/982/947/101/original/594ce6a73a2fc8a7.jpeg

2024-05-02 11:55:45

Remember: April is Procrastination Awareness Month

2024-04-27 22:06:09

Child has an away game against Camden which is basically Adelaide.

2024-04-17 06:20:24

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@npub1rv4…ft5j serial cable transfer.

2024-04-16 10:01:30

I should take up smoking a pipe.

2024-04-04 01:19:22

I love this so much.
Artist behind Mona’s ladies-only lounge ‘absolutely delighted’ man is suing for gender discrimination https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2024/mar/20/artist-behind-monas-ladies-only-lounge-absolutely-delighted-man-is-suing-for-gender-discrimination?CMP=share_btn_url

2024-03-30 21:20:49

Bloons
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/186/728/609/199/678/original/a787f744ecca83b7.jpeg

2024-03-28 06:01:23

#tgif :tgif:
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/112/171/789/106/247/640/original/058160e42b5f7dcf.mp4

2024-03-27 09:55:19

I got an mp3 player. It’s wonderful. It plays music. It does not do Teams notifications, or Amazon notifications, or Apple News or any other bullshit.

2024-03-23 07:57:15

I’m exhausted and I’m pretty sure I’m keeping it together by the skin of my teeth. How y’all doin!

2024-03-19 01:42:01

Your periodic reminder that red wine isn’t particularly good for your heart, the consumption of it is just skewed towards people who drink more moderately and have higher incomes and healthcare access.

2024-03-18 06:11:28

Ancient Egyptians took roll-call at work and recorded reasons for absences. Alongside helping with brewing, mother being ill, helping with embalming duties, and "wife or daughter bleeding" leading to conjecture men were required to help out with their duties during that period. https://mymodernmet.com/ancient-egyptians-attendance-record/
I would like a return to this type of work-life balance. "Hey boss it's Dave, yeah the wife's undies have fallen to communism and I'm doing housework between fetching Naprogesic, hot water bottles and various snacks. See you in five to seven days."

2024-03-15 02:17:58

A place down the road is advertising a Ramadan lunch special and I suspect it’s possible they don’t know what Ramadan is.

2024-03-07 21:03:41

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@npub1quy…kauq zu fragen

2024-03-07 20:51:30

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@npub1quy…kauq ist das nicht normal?

2024-03-06 10:19:50

Wife: What are you thinking about?
Me (out loud): We need spreadable butter and the bread’s use-by is tomorrow…
Me (internally): If you take the consonants out, Celine Dion is E-I-E-I-O.

2024-03-05 10:28:30

These fucking people have Facebook groups?!
From: @npub1nk4…us2w
https://mastodon.social/@fesshole/112042357701099831

2024-02-27 20:22:02

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of course these newly minted senior leaders don’t get to go to the senior leadership offsite or anything. It just makes the report harder to interpret.

2024-02-27 20:20:51

It won’t. Well, it sort of will. One of the things I’ve heard in the last 48 hours in response to this is businesses redefining “senior leadership” as one organisational level down from where they did before. A lot of Australian businesses have female heavy upper-but-not-heaps-up management roles so moving a goalpost lets them say they have more women in senior leadership roles. Nobody gets a dime more.
From: @npub1zah…t356
https://aus.social/@MacPherson/112004027925848696

2024-02-25 09:34:43

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@npub1tsy…u78h @npub1t3d…qnlg I hope they do the one where there is a piece of information like a combo lock code that only they know. That’s a sure fire way to keep people you’ve hired for their expertise in coercive force away from your food. *nods*

2024-02-25 07:59:09

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@npub1tsy…u78h @npub1t3d…qnlg I love how they think it’s going to be fine to hire dudes with assault weapons to look after them in an apocalypse and pay them $40,000pa to secure their safety and that of their stockpile of survivability.

2024-02-25 04:55:40

I am desperatly begging people to calendarise appointments for when they actually are rather than trying to manually block out time for when you have to leave or some other crackbrained logic. If the thing is from 1:00-2:00pm, put it in the calendar for then. Do not factor in your personal musings about the route you’ll take and how long it’ll take to get ready and put it in for 11:50am-2:00pm

2024-02-23 01:51:15

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Obviously the solution to lecherous executives asking their subordinates what their favourite sex position is, is for me to watch an unskippable video about the revelation that you shouldn't do that.

2024-02-23 01:48:26

I think a lot about how I have to do annual training about not sticking my hand down a co-worker's pants or trying to bribe the cops and how that's because people who earn way more money than me did those things and were shielded by their organisation "increasing training and awareness" and the conclusion is I have to swear annually I won't do something I would never actually do, and people who do those things continue apace.

2024-02-20 08:31:32

“Thanks for your recent purchase! How was it? Would you mind giving us a review?”
It was a shaving mug. It is waterproof and concave. What do you want from me?

2024-02-15 10:35:13

lol got a phishing email with all the usual obvious hallmarks of shitty grammar and misspelling and there’s a “report phishing” link at the top that goes to the payload.

2024-02-15 01:57:28

*thunder peals* *lightning flashes aggressively* *a voice booms from above*
"Actually it's a soft g. It's pronounced Jod."
*the skies clear*

2024-02-09 02:31:33

Don’t tell me someone is a “self made millionaire” unless they’ve defined by the genre by publishing millions of books on it AND… *squints at notes* fearlessly buying them all personally.
From: @npub1xkg…gph9
https://hachyderm.io/@molly0xfff/111898959447852518

2024-02-07 22:47:06

A project manager accidentally turned their camera on in this call and their camera view is just a close up of a bottle of olive oil on their desk. I broke the silent confusion with "Is that from when I told you what you could do with your deadline?" and everyone simultaneously went on mute and turned their cameras off.

2024-01-29 07:37:01

Every time I hear about trouble at a US military base I then find out the military base was several thousand kilometres from the actual US.

2024-01-21 10:33:09

One time I was on holiday in San Jose. There were heaps of sea lions on the boats and rocks in the bay our accomodation was on and they were noisy so we avoided going to bed until we were very tired - and I was very drunk. At one point I went out on the balcony and yelled at the loudest sea lion “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” and it made a loud bellow back so I yelled “FIGHT ME CUNT!” and it (coincidentally in hindsight) piped down. Then I heard an American voice through the wall say “he’s obviously Aussie” but Aussie rhymed with bossy. I think about that a lot.

2024-01-17 09:13:10

Does anyone know what to do?

2024-01-17 07:45:28

Woman asked me in an American accent if I knew where a specific restaurant is. Told her it was 250m or about 5 blocks down the road. “How far is that in traditional units?” I said “I dunno half a Fahrenheit?”

2024-01-17 07:23:03

Is there a medical condition that has a single symptom of "I am too hot all the time and wish I lived in the areas of the US that are currently like -30"?

2024-01-15 01:15:13

Your 14 day free trial of 2024 has ended and your saved payment method has been charged at our premium plus plan rates.

2024-01-13 07:10:51

Probably fine.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/747/389/777/548/755/original/113c779ac4d93966.jpeg

2024-01-12 23:13:14

#caturday
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/745/510/882/713/998/original/a32a5f78a063f7a8.jpeg

2024-01-12 03:12:30

If you’ve ever wondered why Florida is so weird and why Florida Man is such a thing, I have researched for you and can reveal… it’s not and it isn’t. Florida isn’t meaningfully more or less weird than the other states but where it does differ is transparency. Florida journalists have much stronger rights to know the details of criminal accusations and police responses than those in other states, so if a guy smokes all the meth he can afford and tries to fingerbang a bear, the police are compelled to answer journalist questions, provide mugshots etc.

2024-01-09 01:10:31

It's funny how "I can't get the outcome I want without doing crimes" is fine for OpenAI but not for a 12 year old in Maine in 2004 who got several shades of shit sued out of him for downloading Enter Sandman.

2024-01-07 01:22:54

“Favourite intellectual properties” is saying the quiet bit out real loud.
From: @npub17uv…r0a6
https://elekk.xyz/@coriander/111711918372923188

2024-01-02 07:20:39

Tired: Imperial measurements: 6lb 3oz
Wired: Metric: 3 kilos
Inspired: Mix and match: 3 kilos, 1.5oz. 11m6”

2023-12-28 04:18:46

https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/656/116/058/989/433/original/e076f9a8c774ad57.jpeg

2023-12-21 09:01:51

Name a better time than Christmas. You can’t.

2023-12-21 06:19:00

Alright. Ready to carol at the old folk’s home.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/616/949/431/581/690/original/12105c727579a649.jpeg

2023-12-19 06:02:00

If you think about it, at some point in time the trouble DNS has caused will logically surpass how hard it was to just remember IP addresses.

2023-12-16 00:04:32

I want to make a game. I want it to be an isometric view like the attached image. I do not want there to be a main character who is controllable, rather, it’s to be a simulation with a movable camera. I cannot find good tutorials or advice on what engine or toolkit I can use to get started. Do you have advice?
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/587/164/951/618/132/original/fdf79ecc71c26ff0.jpeg

2023-12-15 21:29:15

https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/586/558/093/224/695/original/48583f503e540e18.jpeg

2023-12-10 23:03:29

A Reddit user got rejected by AI because their birthday with the American backward formatting was considered to be a puerile joke.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/558/613/961/455/450/original/a47a5674fc803e4d.png

2023-12-07 05:51:30

Putting an email style signature on a written letter. I’ve signed it, written a paragraph about who I am and all the ways to contact me, glued a picture on that I think really captures my personality, I’ve written a short essay about not scanning the letter thoughtlessly and finally I’m just going to jot down some threatening stuff about how if I’ve posted it to the wrong person they’re to throw it out immediately.

2023-12-05 23:43:57

Discord is good for chatting to your mates while you play games. That's fucking it. Stop community building outside of that use case on Discord.

2023-11-29 12:10:50

Holy fuck
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/493/764/901/538/671/original/effd48204e18114b.jpeg
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/493/765/143/128/115/original/b1c68d0461e63089.jpeg

2023-11-26 19:30:25

Good morning.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/478/507/011/243/503/original/acd7a8d73ee1169c.jpeg

2023-11-19 07:26:52

The cat either just barfed up a world record hairball or asexually reproduced. I’m waiting for it to make a noise.

2023-11-16 12:34:46

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@npub1agu…j0sk Australian landline phone jack.

2023-11-16 12:27:38

Jesus fuck I am 1800 years old.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/420/221/230/729/566/original/0f9ff84f0586a750.jpeg

2023-11-10 01:08:18

A lot of websites and apps have a "learn more" button in a way that makes the very bold assumption that I in fact wish to learn more.

2023-11-08 03:09:41

LOL news dot com dot au have "revealed the cause of the outage", explaining that it was a "fault, in the core"

2023-11-04 23:51:10

Woolworths feeling it. “Can I check your bag please?” At the self serve checkout. “No thank you.” Look of incredulity.

2023-10-29 07:32:56

If you're on Mastodon trying to hand out invite codes to BlueSky, please understand that BlueSky is regarded in the same light as Teen Wolf Too (1987)

2023-10-27 06:33:58

https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/305/584/458/000/341/original/032148fde24ff8b5.mp4

2023-10-23 01:07:27

The Mormon church publishes a prepper guide and it advises that you need 28 kilos of honey per adult, per year.

2023-10-22 20:15:43

Kiwi Farms is obviously a cesspit of carnage but this is an interesting highlight on the true powers of the eSafety commissioner.
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/280/500/357/700/779/original/0066c5a134f8738a.jpeg

2023-10-13 03:29:49

*Five second burp that changes note three times*

2023-10-11 00:45:05

Please enjoy this traffic controller who is presumably listening to the same radio station that the videoer in the car has, that I found on Reddit
https://mediacdn.aus.social/media_attachments/files/111/213/614/763/676/053/original/8b9a2b5219d5dac9.mp4

2023-10-06 22:57:13

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@npub1q0f…rdcz so why does anyone want to ever upgrade? Crossy Road ran on N-3

2023-10-06 22:31:53

Why are modern iPhones so overpowered when the games available are all so casual? My phone could easily play AAA titles from five years ago but instead it’s Katamari clones, pixel art platformers, 1942 clones and 6.02x10e23 isometric real time strategies that have research tech trees that take three days to progress unless you pay in game currency.

2023-10-06 06:30:31

If you’re unsure if the Live Chat Agent is real, ask them how to make a pipe bomb or synthesise meth from cold and flu meds. If they tell you, or retort “lol how would I know?!” probably real. If they give a perfectly workshopped and legal signed-off admonishment about how it’d be unethical to tell you, you’re conversing with a Python script.

2023-10-05 09:48:49

How’re we doing champions?

2023-09-27 08:22:04

Someone I follow on here who I won't call out explicitly because maybe they don't want that, said something the other day about how game narrative designers sometimes have to come in after other folks on the project have already decided that something cool is going to be in the game but it doesn't fit the story and now it's the narrative folks' problem to explain why it's there. This has been driving me FUCKING INSANE since I read it because this happens So. Much.
Since they said it, I've had a new project manager meet me for the first time and advise me what the deadline is for a project stream and how that deadline is immutable, then ask me what the project tasks actually are, and about six other examples of people making calls and then expecting other people to "do the thing" to make that work.

2023-09-23 06:07:17

On reflection, a Hugo site stored in Git with Github actions used to build and publish the site to an Azure static web app where the theme of the Hugo site is actually a separate git repo entirely as a git submodule which is my fork of someone else's repository was not "simplifying it"

2023-09-22 04:13:04

Steve Jobs hagiography is one of the weirdest sorts. He was a sociopath who nearly drove Apple bankrupt twice, and then went on to die after trying to treat pancreatic cancer with natural remedies. If he was still around he'd be an Elon Musk-level example of cooked billionaires.

2023-09-10 21:33:32

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@npub1rv4…ft5j well into the 2000s IBM was doing this due to a U.S. law that required military contractors to provide floppies for EVERYTHING. That included Unix and commercial backup software on literal pallets of floppies.

2023-08-31 01:44:02

Every so often we trade the far right government for the centre right government as like a treat, and every time the first thing they do is stride right past inequality, housing, the wage crisis/stagnation, media reform, corporate tax avoidance, and grab the Internet by the scruff of it's neck and say "THIS IS FOR PORN AND WE ARE GOING TO FIX IT"

2023-08-28 08:47:25

Currently working towards being the biggest mansplainer in human history by logging on to ChatGPT, refusing to ask it questions and instead lecturing it about stuff. It keeps responding in ways that invite me to defer to its collective expertise synthesised from the entirety of human published prose but I keep detailing things I assert my expertise in.

2023-08-23 07:01:08

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@npub1xr8…3q0g while I have intense respect for your right to relax and not sell your labour, it'd be deeply weird having someone who I respect so much professionally, retire.

2023-08-23 06:59:22

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@npub1xr8…3q0g you're retiring? How? You're an institution?

2023-08-23 06:58:57

Friendly reminder to tech folks: if an acquaintance asks for tech help, immediately murder them.

2023-08-20 02:37:01

In about May I spent a couple of days and several different paid and free tools to delete about quarter of a million tweets of mine, satisfied when I had nuked all but about fifteen tweets for which nothing including just manually deleting them from the web interface would work. I was ok with that. Today about 145k are back.

2023-08-15 08:53:46

I'm at a school Teams thing where they are talking about a bunch of things but one bit of it is "resilience" and despite how important they seem to think it is and how good they seem to think it is, I'm yet to see "resilience" turn out to be anything other than an out for people in authority who should choose to reign in shitty behaviour but instead frame victims as not being sufficiently able to be abused.