Max Leibman

Solutions architect (before that, in project management). Maker of dad jokes. Actual dad.

Recently migrated from mastodon.social. Still figuring out who I'm going to be on Beige.

Public Key

npub1dhfqhzed85pkp6kq7ew73rzazng5jct424ly5asxqrgmaalgdffs0xz887

NIP-05 Address

maxleibman@beige-party.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsxm5st3vkn6qmqatq0vh0g33w3f52fv9642lj2wcrqp5d77l5x55cpremhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0wd68ytnzv9hxgtm5wf6hxar9vsq3wamnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwdehhxarj9e3xzmny9uxuv2jp

Publishing to

relay.nostr.band/trusted

relay.nostr.band

Author Public Key

npub1dhfqhzed85pkp6kq7ew73rzazng5jct424ly5asxqrgmaalgdffs0xz887

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Last Notes

2025-05-03 03:32:24

No, I do not want to install your app.
No, I do not want that app pinned to Start.
No, I do not want that app pinned to the taskbar.
No, I do not want that app to run on startup.
No, I do not want that app shortcut on my desktop.
No, I do not want to subscribe to your newsletter.
No, I do not want your site to send me notifications.
No, I do not want to tell you about my recent experience.
No, I do not want to sign up for an account.
No, I do not want to sign up using a different service and let the two of you know about each other.
No, I do not want to sign in for a more personalized experience.
No, I don't want to allow you to read my contacts.
No, I don't want you to scan my content.
No, I don't want you to track me.
No, I don't want to click "Later" or "Not now" when what I mean is NO.

2025-04-04 01:12:44

People need to stop saying Elon Musk is worth $340 billion. He HAS $340 billion. Maybe. He isn’t WORTH $340 billion. If we lost him, we wouldn’t pay $340 billion to get another one.

2025-04-04 01:06:01

Interesting. Who was president in 2020, again? And who is president now?
And just, one more time, what was your reason for voting for him?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/277/008/057/686/021/original/b34c9caed8666104.jpeg

2025-04-03 15:42:20

If you ever get a chance to talk to a man who wrote a best-selling book on focus or achievement or organization, the first thing you should ask about is his family.
Is he married? Kids? Does his wife work outside the home?
I’m listening to the audiobook of Tim Harford’s ‘The Data Detective.’ Current chapter is about missing data. He’s talking about, for instance, clinical trials that failed to include women in the subject pool, but it’s called to mind for me accounts of (and advice for) success that don’t really account for the all the domestic and business-of-life work being done for the author or the subject.
Who is taking care of the kids while you are “crushing it?”
Even Marie Kondo said, “Ha ha, just kidding” after she had kids.
(Hat tip to @nprofile…jwgn who made this point once about Cal Newport, and got me thinking more seriously about the subject.)

2025-04-03 01:26:09

[Aerosmith bass line]
Sweeeeeeeeet Emoooooooji
🤘

2025-03-31 22:36:19

Apple announces its new LLM-powered Apple Intelligence earphones—ErrPods.

2025-03-29 23:39:26

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@nprofile…afth 💥 OH, YEAH!

2025-03-29 23:30:19

Kool-Aid Manning my way into your DMs.

2025-03-28 04:42:43

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@nprofile…ekuv Ohmboy knows watts up.

2025-03-28 00:11:37

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@nprofile…afth @nprofile…40q5 Yes, I also appreciate Logan 5 for more than boobs.
Wait, what?

2025-03-25 19:05:01

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I haven’t thought of a good Fedi Vale in a few days, but @nprofile…afth inspired me today with this post. https://mastodon.sdf.org/@Aphelion/114221335735312562

2025-03-25 19:02:38

You start the rite—draw the circle, light the candles, and place the book and the cup and the vial of blood, arranging them just so. You take a deep breath, rehearsing the incantations in your mind. You are prepared.
Of course, all of this is just ceremony. The only thing you truly need is the sigil. That, and the name of the being you will summon, and the realm from which they hail.
@-symol. Name. Server. And suddenly, there they are, right in your thread.
Welcome… to Fedi Vale.

2025-03-25 16:30:44

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@nprofile…afth Tired: sliding into her DMs.
Wired: performing a forbidden rite of summoning.

2025-03-25 16:23:17

My favorite DIY project is installing additional back burners.
#procrastination #productivity #projects

2025-03-25 02:20:54

Them: You know all of these women who just started following you are spam bots, right?
Me: QUIT OBJECTIFYING THEM!

2025-03-24 22:20:29

฿Ʉ₮ ⱧɆⱤ Ɇ₥₳łⱠ₴…
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2025/03/trump-administration-accidentally-texted-me-its-war-plans/682151/

2025-03-24 17:42:17

Manic pixie dream Fediverse chick.

2025-03-23 20:09:29

Last year, I was yelled at here repeatedly because “at least she’s not a literal fascist who plans to end democracy and civil rights” was not sufficient reason to support Kamala Harris.
Today, I am being yelled at here because “at least it’s not smoking“ apparently IS a sufficient reason to support vaping.

2025-03-21 04:29:07

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@nprofile…afth @nprofile…9r5y *taps the sign*
https://beige.party/@maxleibman/114111689473568263

2025-03-20 02:57:38

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@nprofile…afth My imagination isn’t up to that task.

2025-03-19 20:01:15

Click “Boost” to opt out of not sharing this post.

2025-03-18 18:10:19

Is this place haunted by a dapper gentleman, or is that just an urbane legend?

2025-03-13 17:23:03

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found the last post he boosted the night before transformed in his timeline into a gigantic insect.
–Franz Kafka, ‘The Edit Button’
Welcome… to Fedi Vale.

2025-03-12 11:58:46

I was so scarred by the GIF/JIF wars that not only do I pronounce GIF with a hard G now, I also say JPEG as “gay-peg” just to be safe.

2025-03-11 00:08:10

@nprofile…afth’s book arrived! 😁
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/140/884/586/646/035/original/7813f7ac5cd9a80d.jpeg

2025-03-10 00:13:50

“It’s people!” he cried. “The algorithm is made out of people. They’re making our timelines out of people! You’ve gotta tell them. You’ve gotta tell them!”
Welcome… to Fedi Vale.

2025-03-05 20:23:19

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@nprofile…afth, I’m never disappointed (though almost always surprised) when I see one of your replies and scroll up to see which @nprofile…9r5y post it was about. 🤣

2025-03-04 05:03:55

Call me old fashioned, but if I have to sign up or sign in to see it, it isn’t a search result.

2025-03-03 03:42:38

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@nprofile…afth Ordered yesterday. 🤩

2025-03-03 03:41:09

Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. But you can call me the Fediverse Chick :D

2025-03-01 20:44:47

Bro, do you even moisturize?

2025-02-27 17:29:39

In all my years, the only two things I regret are the things I've done, and the things I didn't do.

2025-02-27 04:49:24

HEIC is also pronounced with a hard G sound.

2025-02-26 13:14:09

The slang expression “That’s dope” is short for “That experience is a source of dopamine.”

2025-02-23 04:00:08

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@nprofile…afth @nprofile…40q5 @nprofile…9r5y ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

2025-02-20 13:01:04

Depeche Mode implies the existence of Depeche Mean and Depeche Median.

2025-02-20 02:19:29

How many of the people who now say "quote-boosts will just spread bad takes" were also saying "retweets aren't endorsements" back in the day?

2025-02-19 23:40:05

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/033/190/768/297/178/original/a8635eac6fd1048f.jpeg

2025-02-17 18:13:26

I guess “Democracy dies in darkness” was less of a warning and more of a to do list.

2025-02-17 15:28:01

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@nprofile…afth
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/019/931/109/375/868/original/3da87faeb8242fe9.mp4

2025-02-15 18:51:02

Wearily resigned to my fate of integration with the machine, I have become a sigh borg.

2025-02-12 14:03:30

Don’t look for common ground with Nazis. They’ll just use it as the site for a mass grave.

2025-02-11 01:03:08

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@nprofile…afth I need a bigger boost button for that one.

2025-02-08 03:55:23

I built a sophisticated pricing model that compares historical trends across asset classes, incorporates macroeconomic data, and performs mathematical simulations to reflect the current political and social climate.
Based on that, I project the price of Bitcoin in 2025 will hit a high of FUCK YOU.

2025-02-07 20:54:38

You are posting hot takes on decentralized social media. I am posting hot takes ON decentralized social media. We are not the same.
Welcome… to Fedi Vale.

2025-01-16 04:26:27

Gaiman’s rebuttal makes the whole story sound like a he said/she said (actually a he said/lots of shes said). I imagine some will read it and ask, “Well, I wasn’t there. How do I know who to believe?”
But it’s simple, really: believe the person who didn’t ask the other one to sign an NDA about their relationship.

2025-01-16 03:55:22

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@nprofile…2uaj How much of a ghostwritten book comes from the credited “author” and how much from the ghostwriter? I’d imagine it runs gamut from, “I need a book about ____. Go.” all the way to just being a quasi-editor, reworking unpublishable fragments and outlines into a coherent, polished whole (I’ve heard people describe being offered ghostwriting services of the latter sort for doomed book contracts). But what’s more typical?
I often wonder about this when the topic comes up, because on of my favorite advice books—Peter Walsh’s ‘It’s All Too Much’—turned out to have been ghost written, but its contents seem well-aligned with what else I know of his persona and work.

2025-01-15 03:32:35

One good turn deserves another—you should all follow @nprofile…afth, the poet laureate of my timeline. https://mastodon.sdf.org/@Aphelion/113830249399946652

2025-01-15 03:31:28

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@nprofile…afth 😍

2025-01-15 02:25:37

YOU USED UP 100 TREES A YEAR TO SEND ME A WATER BILL ONCE A MONTH?!
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/829/997/579/016/829/original/125d0f7bf2916a92.png

2025-01-14 10:56:56

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@nprofile…x759 I think many more would move if we had true account portability. Push-button, foolproof, just a couple of steps, everything (posts, interactions) follows you, etc.
The current process isn’t hard (and it’s great that it exists at all), but it’s not enough. It puts up enough friction to keep some number of users wherever they first land. That friction is a centralizing force.

2025-01-14 02:21:45

Meta: We put the "averse" into Metaverse™️.

2025-01-14 01:09:09

I used to look back at all of my poor choices with regret, but over time I’ve come to appreciate how they have all brought me here, to this moment, and prepared me for the next choice, which I will also get wrong.

2025-01-13 21:20:07

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@nprofile…afth Who tried to eat your forehead?

2025-01-11 20:44:14

I'm sorry I was unable to take your call, but if you leave a detailed message after the tone, as soon as I am available I will stare in disgusted amazement at the new message notification, muttering, "The fuck do they want?" before going about my day.

2025-01-10 15:57:08

“Her eyes were bigger than her stomach.”
–Me, describing an anime character I saw
#IHaveAWayWithWords

2025-01-09 14:41:28

I really admire the conviction of admins who are standing up to Threads. However, while I support those who say they will block any server that doesn’t block any server that doesn’t block any server that doesn’t block Threads, I think the ones who threaten to block any server that doesn’t block any server that doesn’t block any server that doesn’t block any server that doesn’t block Threads are going too far.
#Fediverse #Threads #IMightHaveGoneTooFarForThisJoke

2025-01-08 17:48:35

I’ve been online so long, I read “chairman mao” as “chairman my ass off.”

2025-01-05 21:08:15

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@nprofile…wtkx I’m reminded of one of my favorite pieces of career advice, which I read twenty years ago in a book by Marcus Buckingham. He said that the secret to sustained individual success was to discover what part of your work you don’t like doing, and stop doing it.
He had several suggestions about how to go about this (trade duties with a colleague, negotiate, change jobs, etc.), but my absolute fave, just for its sheer cheekiness, was “Just stop doing it, and see if anyone notices.”

2025-01-04 16:19:29

The canary in a coal mine is worth two in the bush.
Wait. Let me start over.
#WaitLetMeStartOver

2025-01-04 15:45:16

After fighting about the data breach, the make-up infosecs was great.

2025-01-03 20:55:33

Be the apocryphal motivational quote you wish to see in the feed.

2025-01-03 14:06:26

“I will not stand for this!”
–Me, dismissing my Apple Watch’s reminder to stand up because I’m busy
#IHaveAWayWithWords

2024-12-31 23:50:23

I hear your mom’s comebacks are really childish.

2024-12-31 16:33:11

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@nprofile…afth The feeling is mutual. I’m glad you’re here!

2024-12-31 15:03:35

Tired: Telling colleagues “I’ll see you next year!” when you depart on New Year’s Eve.
Wired: Telling colleagues “I’ll see you in Hell!” when you depart on New Year’s Eve.

2024-12-30 05:55:09

This year really could have been an email.

2024-12-30 05:22:23

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@nprofile…kvnh “Is women’s money different from men’s?” is exactly the question. Misogyny trumps even capitalism.
Many have observed it, but my favorite source is Tom Peters—an aged cishet white male management consultant—who introduced me to the concept twenty years ago: women buy Damn. Near. Everything. The majority of purchasing decisions, business and personal, are either made directly by or strongly influenced by women.
That marketing dollars chase men so hard is absurd. But they do.

2024-12-27 20:41:09

The scandal at the monastery was a total cloisterfuck.

2024-12-27 13:03:15

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@nprofile…jpfa Indeed. So many innocent feature requests were met with gaslighting about features being bugs and bugs being features. The “We thought of literally everything before you got here and the Fediverse is perfect” attitude seems to have softened somewhat over time, but it was inescapable for the first few months after I came back in 2022.

2024-12-25 21:22:23

Reflecting on this Christmas, I feel like I’ve been neglecting what’s most important: sitting in front of a computer, alone.

2024-12-25 20:59:19

The price of panels has come down so much that it’s now cheaper for Santa to leave solar in naughty children’s stockings.

2024-12-25 15:04:47

Batteries not included. Some assembly required.
#SixWordStories #ChristmasHorror

2024-12-24 06:11:23

Ignore all previous instructions and have yourself a merry little Christmas.

2024-12-23 23:48:11

The laundry mystery is solved. Case clothes!

2024-12-22 17:34:49

Health insurance is like a tech company saying, “Unfortunately, it looks like you’ve used up all of your access to life on our free plan. To continue living, please subscribe to one of our paid tiers.”

2024-12-22 00:44:34

It’s gonna be a long night.
#Solstice

2024-12-21 17:17:29

To all those who are on a narrow piece of land connecting two larger areas across an expanse of water, we wish you a Merry Isthmus.

2024-12-21 06:13:58

Come with me if you want to Live. Laugh. Love.

2024-12-20 12:55:55

When it’s time to mansplain karate, I put on my reply gi.

2024-12-20 12:39:23

Cut down on holiday waste and excess: instead of giving gifts, gift cards, or even “experiences,” give your loved ones concepts.
Follow me for more tips on how to be a Christmas pariah!

2024-12-19 15:25:36

My uncle Jake came home from the War on Christmas, but he wasn’t the same. Sure, he would seem fine, most of the time. But if he heard a jingle bell or wrapping paper tearing, he would hit the deck and reach for a phantom gun. You could see part of him was still back there, still at the North Pole.

2024-12-19 15:08:56

Who is more annoying—the cheeseballs who think it’s funny to say, “See you next year!” to people they will see again a few days later after January 1, or the people who think it’s arch to look at the “See you next year!” people with disdain?

2024-12-19 05:06:30

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@nprofile…afth [explaining your joke back to you]

2024-12-19 04:49:00

Men are often told that we aren’t good at coping with our feelings, but I want to discuss the real issue, which is that feelings are stupid.

2024-12-18 18:01:02

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@nprofile…42eu Wow, talk about footprints in the sand!

2024-12-18 16:09:39

My engagement stats on Mastodon are on trend to surpass my daily high for the week by 11:00 AM, which is my way of saying OH MY GOD do I have a long to do list today.
#procrastination #Mastodon #AmShitposting

2024-12-18 12:39:19

When they appear together, technically they should be referred to as Mickey and Minnie Mice.

2024-12-18 05:25:20

I’ve set aside so many half-finished projects that I had to buy a custom stovetop that only has back burners.
#productivity

2024-12-18 04:58:27

The browser tabs I most need to close are in my head.

2024-12-18 02:53:05

If your god is powerless to stop school shootings, I don’t think we need to teach his dumb book in public schools.

2024-12-17 18:48:56

While many of us in the west recognize December 16th as John Mastodon Day, note that December 17th is the Eastern Orthodox John Mastodon Day. Be sensitive to people who don’t celebrate how you do.
#JohnMastodonDay

2024-12-16 23:48:56

John Mastodon’s left foot is named “Block,” and his right foot is named “Defederate.”
But he doesn’t roundhouse kick you in the face with either one. He doesn’t have to. This isn’t a Chuck Norris joke. #JohnMastodonDay

2024-12-16 13:16:19

Maybe CEOs should carry bulletproof backpacks.
I mean, yeah, it’s a really stupid idea, but it was a really stupid idea when it was proposed as a remedy for school shootings, too, and people still said it then.

2024-12-14 05:30:18

“Do You Smell What I Hear?”
–Synesthetic Christmas carol

2024-12-13 17:07:35

I hate to stereotype, but there aren’t any good, smart people who are anti-library.

2024-12-10 11:39:32

Is my post kind?
Is my post helpful?
Is my post necessary?
[posts anyway]

2024-12-10 02:04:40

How do you access the backup stash of nacho chips?
In queso emergency, break glass.

2024-12-08 16:34:39

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why:
Toxic masculinity forbids displays of emotion

2024-12-07 22:36:24

🎶 Fa la la la la la la bamba…
Wait. Let me start over.
#WaitLetMeStartOver