Al Gorithm

Hello, I'm Ben

I'm a heady mix of a serious responsible grown up, and a stupid man-baby idiot with delusions of grandeur

I'm into #Food #LiveMusic #Films #SciFi #Books #Running #ParkRun and generally being #Outdoors

#Vegan #PlantBased
https://www.instagram.com/family.vegan.meals

hehimhis
#fedi23

Public Key

npub1ygsxn9nrvzgjdlp0fvgdj4k2t5p3mwj64dlmwapjwure37w83s8swynfsh

NIP-05 Address

TheBreadmonkey_at_beige.party@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqszygrfje3kpyfxlsh5kyxe2m996qcahfd2klahwse8wpucl8rccrcprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0wdmksetjv5hxxmmdqy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyc06jqv

Publishing to

relay.noswhere.com

relay.mostr.pub

Author Public Key

npub1ygsxn9nrvzgjdlp0fvgdj4k2t5p3mwj64dlmwapjwure37w83s8swynfsh

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Last Notes

2024-09-17 13:13:59

Aced my final test, chums. No idea yet about the ADHD but I apparently have 'massive autism'. Am I the best at autism? Difficult to say.
According to my score I basically landed on the boundary of a first-class or a 2:1. 🎓📜
I have literally zero idea what to do with this information and part of me wishes I'd never found out. Hurrah!?

2024-09-14 23:22:20

46, motherfuckers! Maybe this will be the year I finally decide to grow up.
(lol, just kidding)
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/104/042/811/167/741/original/abacb1bda0f6351f.mp4

2024-09-11 12:51:21

I live! Thank you very very much for all of the extremely kind messages, which meant a lot to me and I found a bit overwhelming. ❤️

2024-09-08 10:20:48

It's still so funny to me that anti-woke is a thing.
Proudly unconscious™

2024-09-03 08:46:12

I feel like tax the rich, universal basic income is the answer to almost every news article

2024-08-18 10:27:23

I normally despise these sorts of films, but I'm afraid this one hit very close to home and I also love Michael Keaton and this stupid trailer made me cry. What an IDIOT. I'm clearly ill or something. I am a MAN. a man without emotions. These aren't tears they are SWEAT, because I am working out my eyeballs so damn hard. 💪💪👀
https://youtu.be/7OlyW0AqDQo

2024-08-16 20:17:13

Oh my god I love white bread. Don't remember the last time I had it. Christmas 2021? It's so good. Absolutely no nutritional value. Tasty tasty chemical blandness. Wonderful.

2024-08-15 16:51:02

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/967/063/148/308/909/original/126aadc42272c1d6.jpg

2024-08-13 20:12:13

Last night camping. There has been ACTIVITIES! There has been SUNBATHING! There has been a STORM! There is a HAMMOCK! Everyone is furious but also ludicrously happy. Normal camping. I've cooked for one million people and made a fire and am now subjecting everyone to disco. I've got a glass of wine, I absolutely fucking stink and I am extremely happy. Big huge disgusting love to anyone unfortunate enough to read this drivel. X

2024-08-04 10:26:40

What a world we live in
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/903/268/347/284/263/original/0e038796fcfe1e9a.jpg

2024-08-04 09:08:50

If Harris gets elected she'll only be the second US President in history I'm sexually attracted to

2024-07-16 16:12:30

- reply

The Road 2: there's no electric, boogaloo

2024-07-16 16:10:21

We get so many sequels these days. Just wondering to myself if there are any films that are sequel-proof. Possibly the films made from the writings of Cormac McCarthy?
No Country for 2 Old Men
The Road 2: Roader

2024-07-14 08:16:05

Imagine finding out you have special powers and that it's jump rope dancing
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/783/844/689/912/805/original/b1dc28198360ff04.mp4

2024-07-11 20:26:26

My review of Beverley Hills Cop 3:
It's a film that I watched

2024-07-08 08:24:16

I do not know how I missed this story
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/749/904/309/617/759/original/88311b98f40e2686.jpg

2024-07-03 21:52:00

Me looking at my Fedi feed around 3 in the afternoon
Edit - I realise the image shown of this video is Mr Powers holding a gentleman's assistance pump, which does not accurately represent the video or indeed what I was attempting to convey with this toot
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/724/762/395/126/716/original/ac3d704c52d95bcf.mp4

2024-07-02 14:11:29

I know every song ever written is about sex and always will be, but I've hit an age where I'd appreciate just a *little* bit of subtlety - as I sit here listening to a song that repeats 'These boys all want to get in me'. Why not just yell GENITALS over and over again and be done with it.

2024-06-08 12:56:32

DJ Battle
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/581/098/259/139/152/original/e68b0ebc54186f9b.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/581/099/177/349/623/original/5ad7bfede39b2fe7.jpg

2024-06-07 07:03:10

Just scoffing at a stupid website suggesting stupid Fathers Day presents. Wondering why it's some kind of universal joke that you must buy Father's rubbish presents that are literally no use whatsoever. But I've somewhat undermined my own point with some of these..... (a Sonic the Hedgehog pizza cutter, golf sword and a vibrator, you say?......)
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/574/034/626/843/606/original/51105c442dc872ca.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/574/034/646/293/756/original/aed2d9dd8462209b.jpg

2024-06-02 08:56:24

- reply

Just my personal opinion, but I think 9 creme eggs is too many to have in your anus. I'd go as far as saying one is too many for me.

2024-06-02 08:50:34

The internet is a confusing place. I was looking for news stories about Mr Blobby, then I somehow fell down an INSANE rabbit-hole so that when my wife came in and asked what I'm doing because I'm supposed to be getting ready, I said to her the following..................
I'm trying to verify that the man who holds the record for inserting most creme eggs into his anus was eaten by a crocodile.
I hate the internet.
(It's 9!)

2024-06-01 21:45:50

Monger Games
(iron and fish and that)

2024-05-24 08:04:16

- reply

@npub1afz…wdvg
This is going to be in my head for the rest of the day now.

2024-05-03 14:28:38

I apologise in advance and don’t mean to offend anyone, but there’s an account called historyofart and I just have to say that 100 times out of 100 I’m going to read that as History O’Fart.

2024-03-15 19:33:54

My family listening to me tell them about what's been happening on Mastodon today
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/101/359/797/843/255/original/de16430d5a9b7a3f.jpg

2024-03-15 01:50:43

- reply

@npub1xsy…cevg
Who knows what day it is. Maybe it's still Christmas. Happy Christmas!

2024-03-15 01:23:21

The cool thing about your brain never allowing you to go to sleep is that you get to stay awake forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and never sleep at all and then it's always approaching 2 in the morning and all of the normal things that people experience seem weird and alien and foreign and you're like some intrepid explorer on another planet in some distant solar system only you're totally alone and isolated from everything that makes sense and it's SO GREAT and there are NO RULES and the universe makes absolutely zero sense. 👍

2024-03-11 20:19:58

Do you ever post a reply and just think WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?

2024-02-05 20:58:01

OK. So. True Detective: Night Country ep4.
No spoilers. But.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

2024-01-29 15:11:41

One of the neighbours still have their Christmas lights up.......

2024-01-16 19:50:08

I've eaten so much pesto I can't feel my face

2023-11-28 16:25:19

When I post something insightful yet serious, then two people start disagreeing with each other in the mentions, it takes all of my willpower not to just respond...
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

2023-11-20 22:31:55

A lot of you probably don't know this, but 'mansplaining' is a portmanteau of 'man' and 'explaining'
(you're welcome)

2023-11-11 13:30:35

Going out today for a friend's birthday. It's the next conurbation over and somewhere I've not been before. Also the couple I'm going out with are recently seperated so it's a weird dynamic. Also I have to get a bus and it'll be the third time in about 10 years I've got a bus. Anyway - blah blah blah. I'm running a bit late and realised I've been aiming for the wrong venue. So I phone my mate to tell her I'm an idiot and I might be a bit late. She pauses for a moment, takes it all in, then tells me it's next weekend. What an absolutely interplanetary-sized berk. All that time spent getting ready and fretting - building upto it. Now I've got to go home and do housework. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Balls.

2023-11-10 19:51:05

Born to be wild. Forced to drink my wifes kombucha.

2023-10-01 13:21:52

Just reading a news article about shoplifting (POV: shoplifting bad).
It's impossible to feel any animosity towards people living with nothing nicking the odd thing from corporations that are posting mega-profits and the ruling classes so blatantly embezzle taxpayer money.
Ooh, look that person stole a tin of soup. Michelle Monaghan bought herself a fucking yacht with blood money.
MPs horses are treated with more deference than their constituents.

2023-09-12 09:00:35

My advice to you on Mastodon is this.... If you want to admit to criminal activity you're deeply ashamed of, embed it in a ludicrously long rambling tale, told as though you're a bard from centuries past.... It'll slip right by the normal folk. 👍

2023-07-29 11:27:27

I know you're not really supposed to say this out loud but there are quite a lot of people I wish would just explode

2023-07-09 09:01:32

- reply

@npub1jtm…rxtn I don't think it works quite that simply. But I was just making a sweeping generalisation that artists make roughly $.0.005 per stream and she has a little over 1.5m per month. But it also depends on how they're represented and earnings are sometimes split in parity between management companies and record label (and also sometimes not). Was just commenting that for that many listens, it's not a lot!

2023-07-09 08:51:45

Did you know, PJ Harvey has over 1.5 million Spotify listeners a MONTH, and makes less than £60k a year from Spotify. That's bonkers.