Fesshole 🧻 / is on Nostr

Official Fesshole account on Mastodon

* Add your confession http://bit.ly/fessholeform
* Buy NEW book: https://amzn.to/40ySjVn
* Frequently asked questions https://bit.ly/fessholefaq
* Fesshole is a project by robmanuel of b3ta.

Last Notes

2024-09-07 11:25:03

If I spot an airplane in the sky I have to quickly avert my gaze because I have a fear that if I stare at it too long it will burst into flames & fall out of the sky.

2024-08-31 15:25:03

As I've gotten older my neck makes a creaking noise when I turn my head. If I turn it a full 180 it sounds exactly like the sound of the doors opening to Bowser's Castle.

2024-08-20 10:25:02

I was little when Jaws came out and I legit believed that it was a real shark and that the actors who got eaten were just people who wanted to die

2024-08-19 19:25:02

While exploring the beautiful countryside, I once managed to get behind a waterfall to have a look. There was no legendary loot or hidden collectable behind it. Immediately disappointed.

2024-08-18 18:25:02

I secretly hoped that one day I would be invited back to my school to give a talk. Never happened, but the gates are open for the school holidays and I walked through the grounds touching every beautiful oak tree that I remember from the age of 5.

2024-08-18 13:25:03

My employer added a clause in my last NDA stating that I was prohibited from saying anything "disparaging" about the company. Now when anyone asks about job postings I tell them, "I'm contractually obligated not to say anything disparaging about them." None have ever applied.

2024-08-18 10:39:09

I can do a disturbingly accurate Jonny Vegas or Gregg Wallace impression. I'm a woman and this has scored me more hits with men compared to my also extremely accurate Nigella.

2024-08-17 16:25:03

The best thing I've ever done for my mental health was to keep an etch-a-sketch by the toilet. No more doomscrolling, chill out time on a regular basis, actually have some perspective on current events. Can't recommend it enough.

2024-08-13 15:25:02

Every time I go to Poundland, I buy 2 "Pick'n'mix" tubs for my nieces. They are both over 30, and I haven't seen either of them for over 15 years. I'm 58 and still love fizzy sweets.

2024-08-12 22:25:02

In the shower, I like to point my penis vertically upwards and hold open my foreskin to create a chamber of skin, like a little flesh tulip, and wait for the falling water to fill it up.

2024-08-11 08:25:03

I'm addicted to the thrill of stealing things. But I also know it's wrong. So now I only steal food from major supermarkets, then I donate the food to local food banks. Instant bad/good karma.

2024-08-09 18:25:02

My usually stoic and conservative wife would unwillingly let out a joyous "beep beep beep!" whenever the washing machine finished, copying its noise. I pointed it out and now she doesn't do it. I hate I've removed that tiny joyous beep from our lives.

2024-08-09 13:25:02

I'm a 31 year old Sales Manager and I'm terrified of making customer phone calls. I have to pump myself up for 10-15 minutes before calling.

2024-08-06 19:25:03

I enjoy playing football manager far more than watching real football

2024-07-28 17:25:02

I'm going to leave my girlfriend because she posts every thing we do together all over her social media. I just want my private life to be between us. Why do hundreds of random people have to be part of it too?

2024-07-06 12:25:02

I must have more ziplock bags than the average drug dealer, but I promise you it's all from buying Lego on the secondary market.

2024-06-10 16:00:09

BIG LOVE to Hebtroco for continuing to sponsor Fesshole. Buy one of their lovely 'iron shirts' that came about from a production error (actual jeans material for a shirt) and then turned out to be an accidentally great idea https://hebtro.co/the-iron-shirt/
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/593/154/975/567/790/original/07ad826b596c420e.png

2024-05-27 10:25:03

Since I was a kid, I smell my own poo. A month ago, noticed an off smell. It hadn't changed, so went to the doctor but couldn't say my poo smells strange; just felt "off". After tests, I have early stage colon cancer, very treatable. Can't tell anyone how I caught it so early.