SeaTea

Novels, Stand up Comedy, Science, Politics, Disability Rights, Travel, Simplicity, Kindness, Nerf. Actually believe Social Justice is a good thing. Longtime fan of Empathy. I use pain to hide the humor. Forgetful. Did I mention Nerf? Co-author of “The Definitive Donner Pass Slow Cooker Recipe Book.”

Public Key

npub1kanmncdr3v0qlsg3mxjda95cjmkkztdt3cglhzx6ndxfdepcrj4sn4qvm6

NIP-05 Address

Tierno158_at_mas.to@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqstweaeux3ck8s0cyganfx7j6vfdmtp9k4cuy0m3rdfknykusupe2cdypvr2

Author Public Key

npub1kanmncdr3v0qlsg3mxjda95cjmkkztdt3cglhzx6ndxfdepcrj4sn4qvm6

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Last Notes

2023-10-25 14:49:58

This is an odd place to meet the International Bikini Model I met online for a first date but she seemed very sweet on the phone. I even brought the cash her Grandmother needs for a live-saving operation. Wish me luck folks. 🤓

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2023-10-02 02:44:57

Scientists at Los Alamos Laboratories have created a scale that is so sensitive it can weigh infinitesimally small things like nano particles or how little I want to hear about Taylor Swift during an NFL football game.

2023-09-22 21:24:08

I am a Democrat.
A Democratic Senator has been indicted for a crime.
He should get professional legal representation and a fair trial.
If convicted he should serve a sentence similar to others who have done the same.
This is not hard.

2023-09-21 16:58:32

I love watching the TV shows where people build a home in a remote wilderness using only hand tools. It gives me confidence that I can get the step ladder out of the closet and replace the ceiling lightbulb that’s been out in my living room for six months.

2023-09-20 00:22:32

When I was in high school my Social Studies teacher was an aging hippie. She had a poster on the wall that read “Love is the answer.” On the final exams she asked what was the root cause of the US Civil War. I wrote “Love.” She failed me.

2023-09-18 13:46:46

My therapist believes it will be easy to cure my kleptomania according to his notes in this nice leatherbound journal.

2023-09-16 06:57:18

My ex-wife said I tend to over complicate things. Here is a photo she took of me reviewing my notes on how to make perfect ice cubes.
https://media.mas.to/masto-public/media_attachments/files/111/073/518/581/458/765/original/62db949523d69868.png

2023-09-13 12:47:21

Experts say that Chihuahuas are the longest living dog’s but much of this endurance is out of pure spite.
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2023-09-10 02:47:28

I have a hot tip that there’s a warehouse nearby with a 55-gallon drum of pure vanilla extract. If I can pull off this heist I will be living like an Emperor. Broken down and sold in 4-ounce bottles it has a street value of $1.2 Billion.

2023-09-10 02:16:15

The marketing expert who named Red Delicious Apples really brought their A game that day.

2023-09-08 02:30:31

“I’m not tremendously concerned about winners and losers. I just hope everybody brings their A Game, has a good time and that nobody get seriously hurt.”
-my philosophy about both the NFL and sex.

2023-09-07 17:04:11

I often think about the last words my billionaire grandfather said to me before he died: “Give me back my nitroglycerin tablets you wretched punk!”

2023-09-07 15:41:56

- reply

@npub1ddp…2tax Sorry to sound grumpy. You didn’t pee in my cornflakes. I’m just a curmudgeon. Have a great day. 😎

2023-09-07 15:01:39

By far my favorite thing about Mastodon is that if I make an obvious joke that references kumquats the world’s leading expert on kumquats, who doesn’t follow me…but who searches for kumquat-related toots on an hourly schedule, will weigh in to explain to me how I have misstated the scientific properties of kumquats. 😏

2023-08-31 02:12:51

I can be a tad compulsive when I’m trying to learn a new skill. Lately I’m trying to crack an egg using just one hand.
On an unrelated note is anybody interested in a 389-egg omelette?

2023-08-29 22:02:54

My probiotics and my antibiotics were fighting in the medicine cabinet again.

2023-08-29 20:25:34

I was going to head to the store to get some hurricane supplies but then I realized I still have my Y2K Twinkie stockpile and my Mayan Calendar 2012 Pop Tarts.

2023-08-29 18:42:42

Her: You look deep in thought. I assume something profound.
Me: Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm would be in their 60s now.

2023-08-28 22:14:54

How I decide whether to leave my home for an event:
Age 20:
1. Will I meet someone nice?
2. Will there be good music?
3. Will there be good food and drink?
Today:
1. Will I get shot?
2. Is there parking?
3. Are the bathrooms clean?

2023-08-26 20:56:23

Not to be unreasonable, Vladimir Putin has offered any of the Wagner mercenary forces unwilling to sign the loyalty agreement a free flight to Moscow on a private plane to discuss.
https://media.mas.to/masto-public/media_attachments/files/110/957/904/526/665/577/original/966c76a37b6bd6c8.png

2023-08-26 19:30:12

Bob Barker died at age 99 on National Dog Day. RIP
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2023-08-15 19:55:15

Few of us can envision how we are going to die but I have a sense that, for me, it involves getting my big toe caught in the crotch of a pair of Levi’s as I’m trying to get the second leg in.

2023-08-15 03:47:22

I truly don’t believe any of Moneydiaper McStupid’s co-conspirators want to spend an hour, a week or 20 years in the Georgia state prison system to save his ass. The dash to cop a plea deal is going to look like the start of the Boston marathon.

2023-08-15 03:24:46

Many states rights advocates and so-called constitutional conservatives are learning tonight that Mango Mussolini can’t evade Georgia state RICO charges by becoming President and firing everyone. He also cannot dangle pardons for state to get co conspirators to cover his exposed ass. As they like to say: WOMP WOMP.

2023-08-13 00:22:47

The Oppenheimer movie is three hours long. I want to see it on IMAX but I need to find an IMAX theater that will allow me to see it like I watch movies at home: for 20 minutes a night over a 9-day period. I’ll also need to pause it for bathroom breaks, to get the pizza rolls out of the microwave and to check IMDB on my iPad to see where I know that actress from.

2023-08-11 04:54:30

Inflation has gotten so out of hand that billionaires have to pool resources to buy a Supreme Court Justice these days.

2023-08-09 05:08:49

My favorite pastime is watching cooking shows that have meals that take 48 separate steps to prepare while I’m eating Pop Tarts that I was too lazy to toast.

2023-08-04 19:49:30

I shook my fist of the sky and defiantly declared that I am angry with the Universe.*
The Universe quickly thanked me for the much-needed laugh.
* apologies to Stephen Crane

2023-08-02 22:29:01

Apparently, according to the MAGA, no crimes can be investigated in this country until Hunter Biden‘s laptop faces the electric chair.

2023-07-15 01:56:50

Her: What sign were you born under?
Me: ——>
https://media.mas.to/masto-public/media_attachments/files/110/715/610/129/134/067/original/6a3db0ca191174a9.png

2023-07-07 22:16:21

I mentioned to my girlfriend that I needed to stop at a used bookstore. She asked why I couldn’t just read one of the hundreds of unread books already on my shelves. She’s a very nice person and we’ve managed to stay together despite her blurting out bat shit crazy stuff like this on occasion. I imagine I have my issues, too.

2023-07-07 18:31:10

- reply

@npub1ahq…wjwd
Very kind. I will follow all suggestions. Thank you. 🤓👍👍

2023-06-30 00:25:51

The Supreme Court just ruled 6-3 that everyone must wear buckles on their hats and shoes.

2023-06-28 17:57:03

My refrigerator started making a strange sound so I turned up the radio. I cannot afford my refrigerator to be making strange sounds at this juncture.

2023-06-27 01:17:38

I understand that it is theoretically possible for a person to post a recipe online without detailing the last 300 years of their family history before listing the ingredients and cooking instructions I just don’t run into it that often.

2023-06-26 18:29:18

I've been looking back at stuff that happened 3 years ago. Hindsight is 2020.

2023-06-25 17:09:44

I simply had no idea how many of my friends were experts on deep sea water pressure implosions.

2023-06-21 23:08:14

#SaveTCM There has to be somewhere to watch things other than Fast and Angry Cars, Teenage Vampires and Superheroes. I’m not against any of these genres but TCM and its great hosts are preserving an important legacy.
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2023-06-21 18:17:43

I’m 61 and I’ve achieved the correct cereal-to-milk ratio maybe 3 times in my life.

2023-06-11 20:27:54

The World Health Organization has warned that long-term use of artificial sweeteners may present health concerns for laboratory rats but that in the short term it helps them look much better in bikinis.

2023-06-02 16:53:57

I know nothing about gardening but ordered a windowsill hydroponic system to grow parsley and now I am going to watch YouTube videos. Be sure to check in with me next week when I am the world’s foremost authority on agriculture.

2023-05-24 19:28:35

Sometimes I’ll take an Uber to a first date because I want to avoid women who are just into me because of my Buick Riviera.

2023-05-20 18:22:11

Every time I read a scientific article about a healthy brain food I add it my growing list and try to eat it every day. I can now finish the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle in 7.5 minutes but I weigh 498 pounds.

2023-05-15 20:53:22

Things I get excited about:
Age 21: Heading to Aspen to party with the college women's ski team.
Agen61: When there's a Buy One-Get One Free sale on the cholesterol-reducing margarine I like.

2023-05-13 00:46:54

I want to thank #CNN for introducing me to Donald Trump this week. The name was vaguely familiar (something to do with Atlantic City real estate) but I didn’t realize he was active in a political sense. Once again CNN has helped me come out of my silo and realize what’s going on in the world.

2023-05-08 01:32:13

I was driving with my 10-year-old niece when “Sylvia’s Mother” by Dr. Hook (1971) came on the oldies station. She had questions:
Why would Sylvia’s mother answer Sylvia‘s cellphone?
What is an Operator?
Where does the caller put the 40 cents the Operator wants?
I’ll be out on the back porch churning butter if anybody needs me. 😣

2023-05-02 21:39:07

I never really trusted Steve “Space Cowboy” Miller. It’s not just all the aliases. Nobody makes lovey dovey, lovey dovey, lovey dovey ALL the time. 😏

2023-04-20 01:36:45

When Jonathan dies Keith Richards takes the title.
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