Lawprofblawg

I emerged from the primordial soup to become a law prof.

Public Key

npub1k9cax0zavh4l00m6rsmhx50nxd3hw0q0pz0hyf0tjqcndmyqej6s26kzeg

NIP-05 Address

lawprofblawg_at_mstdn.social@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqstzuwn83wkt6lhhaapcdmn28enxcmh8s8s38mjyh4eqvfkajqvedguvmpy6

Author Public Key

npub1k9cax0zavh4l00m6rsmhx50nxd3hw0q0pz0hyf0tjqcndmyqej6s26kzeg

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Last Notes

2024-10-26 01:11:06

In the Washington Post Editorial Board meeting, things were tense. Tempers flared. Some cried. Some threatened to resign. Others cursed Bezos. Distraught, they shopped online at Amazon during work hours.
#Satire

2024-10-21 03:09:04

What the description sounds like when you ask the law professor candidate from an elite law school what they did for their 3 minutes in practice.
Satire
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/113/343/209/905/284/242/original/3f858fbe42009167.png

2024-10-08 00:24:09

(Storm) surge pricing.
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/113/268/951/873/623/560/original/aaf1ff4d3968b4b3.png

2024-10-06 21:54:39

Governor Ron DeSantis signs emergency legislation removing all mentions of hurricanes from public education.
#Satire

2024-09-16 15:11:34

Every time I see the story of the death of a woman related to the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I think of those conlaw scholars who were telling everyone how they were overreacting.
I've thought about it a lot lately.
https://www.propublica.org/article/georgia-abortion-ban-amber-thurman-death

2024-09-13 04:32:26

Very comforted to know that if I donated $200 to President George W. Bush, the President who hired Alberto Gonzales as AG, I'm now vicariously a marxist.
This game of "all the liberals" in academia is fun. Let's keep playing.
#Satire

2024-08-20 02:06:14

"Excuse me, are you masking to shield your identity or to protect yourself?"
Satire
https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-08-19/zero-tolerance-at-uc-campuses-in-new-order-banning-encampments-masking-blocking-paths

2024-08-17 04:39:50

Hahahaha.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-sorry-if-my-past-actions-made-me-seem-like-a-good-person

2024-08-17 02:46:08

I almost said I put too much garlic on my pizza.
Just had to check my temperature.

2024-08-12 20:20:16

Is JD becoming a Drag on the Ticket?

2024-08-11 17:14:36

Very excited about my new Tax Law article publication, "A Tipping Point," exploring the 3,000 reasons why not taxing tips is economically ridiculous.
#Satire

2024-08-11 17:13:45

AC Company to Sainted Italian Mother: We'll be out today!
Mom: You sure? I am elderly.
AC Company: Absolutely!
* Time passes*
AC Company: We won't be out today.
Me: You've done this before. Three times. To an elderly woman. Why lie?
AC Company: *Click*

2024-08-07 04:01:24

Sometimes second careers don't work out. The former Campbell's executive's short career as a litigator is one example.
He kept filing soup, and was eventually canned.

2024-08-06 17:09:32

I'm just an unbiased, objective law professor, but I think it was a mistake to replace Biden on the ticket, a mistake to pick Waltz as VP, and, while I am no fan of Trump, he is playing the smarter game right now.
#Satire

2024-07-31 03:51:54

My night:
1. Incur minor self-inflicted head injury.
2. Step on floor barefoot. Feel floor move.
3. Look under foot. See bug.
4. Kill bug.
5. Bug moves.
6. Kill bug again.
7. Bug stays dead.
8. Feel relief bug was real, not a hallucination caused by concussion.

2024-07-30 01:32:15

Bar Exam Takers,
Visualize your success.
Visualize walking out of the bar exam in a few days proud of your hard work.
The NCBE are cruel, sadistic, and greedy.
Show them you can rise above them, and be way more professional in the process. You got this!
#barexam
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/872/857/635/357/173/original/a8d92f38d1b03db6.png

2024-07-22 00:23:21

The path is clear: Romney/Manchin 2024
by Aaron Sorkin
#Satire

2024-07-15 14:09:10

There can be only one true replacement for Justice Alito when he chooses to retire: Judge Aileen Cannon.
#Satire

2024-07-12 15:56:41

Company: Pick a password!
Comp: Stronger!
Comp: You used that PW 8 years ago.
Comp: Finally. Now do 2FA and select pics that don't show monkeys.
*Five minutes later*
Comp: We regret to inform you your data has been breached and posted to the dark web.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/12/business/att-customers-massive-breach/index.html

2024-07-03 03:49:44

This seems bad. Looking for the law professors who said not to panic after Dobbs and the immunity decision to provide soothing tweets.
#Satire
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/720/515/535/576/518/original/3da0c4b685b27a76.png

2024-07-02 02:01:23

Are you telling me that I've been eating elderberry gummies by the truckloads when all I needed to do was run for President to boost my immunity?
#Satire

2024-06-28 22:19:21

"Pro consumer regulations are bad. We know, we are experts in getting gifts from rich people. And statutory interpretation. Therefore, we have replaced Chevron deference with Skidmore deference but with a pro-business Hawk Tuah gloss."
--SCOTUS, probably.
#Satire

2024-06-28 03:33:25

The hiring committee has brought you two diverse candidates for the faculty position. And, while neither did great on their job talk, they both have great placements and high scholarly impact scores.
#Satire
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/692/140/607/034/100/original/d815ca4ecc2cccdc.png

2024-06-27 20:45:46

Very pleased to announce my new article, "Quo pro quid."
My article explains why bribing public offices is wealth maximizing and paying the bribe afterwards avoids inefficient lock-in. Forthcoming.
#Satire

2024-06-19 05:15:56

2026: Good news, tenured professors. We've secretly been recording your classes and now AI likenesses of you will be teaching them instead of you.
#Satire

2024-06-16 17:09:07

Happy Father's Day out there to all the kind, decent fathers out there. #FathersDay.
To my own, I thank you for teaching me the hardest lessons of life by being a terrible example.
#FathersDay.

2024-06-12 18:42:43

Company: Pick a password.
Comp: No, a stronger PW.
Comp: Stronger!
Comp: You used that PW 8 years ago.
Comp: Finally. Now do 2FA and select pics that don't show monkeys.
*Five minutes later*
Comp: We regret to inform you your data has been breached and posted to the dark web.

2024-06-10 03:08:45

Very pleased to announce my new article, "why I'm not wealthy: A New Brandeisian perspective."
#Satire

2024-06-08 18:55:00

CAN WE CHANGE LLM AS AN ACRONYM FOR EITHER "master of laws" or "large language models."
EITHER ONE, THANKS!
ANTICIPATING FIRST LLM IN LLM.

2024-06-05 03:08:42

It's good to see people finally being concerned with journal Board members forcibly pulling articles the journal published.

2024-05-22 21:36:37

"Whoever leaked the Dobbs decision is running around putting flags all over my properties," Alito said. "We must investigate."
"I did a zillow search and found the person!" a sheep bleated shortly thereafter. #Satire #SCOTUS

2024-05-21 01:32:02

"When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I want to think about is Rudy in my cup," said no one ever.
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/476/495/297/621/849/original/c19a7a4c7c69bdd0.png

2024-05-18 17:05:14

In what he describes as a demonstration of his judicial ethics, Justice Alito promises that his wife will be recused from all future election cases before the Supreme Court.
#Satire #SCOTUS

2024-05-11 04:20:53

Good news, graduates! Given the logistics of graduation (security, finding replacement speakers, etc.) LPB U has entered into a contract with Ticketmaster!
Please go to Ticketmaster dot com to pay for your graduation seats.
You will be called up in order of ticket price.

2024-05-07 04:37:22

The only thing I'll say about the professor refusing to submit grades is that if I tried that, I wouldn't worry about being fired.
I would worry about starting my car and the condition of my tires.

2024-05-06 02:39:40

Narrator: There was a little going back.
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/391/826/422/107/802/original/c9792adcee81bb06.png

2024-05-02 22:10:40

The photographers in the midst of protests, at risk of police throwing them down and destroying equipment, are amazing in their ability to keep cool and take amazing photographs.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/may/02/university-protests-gaza-student-pictures?CMP=share_btn_url

2024-05-01 03:13:32

Gosh, maybe on January 6th we should have declared the Capitol a University.
#Satire

2024-04-30 02:40:42

Very excited to present the Columbia University entering stats:
1,454 entering students.
19% first gen.
21% received pell grants.
2% arrest rate.
1% injury from police brutality.
2% banned from campus after 1st year.
#Satire

2024-04-26 13:18:00

Police do not care if you are a professor. Once they decide to take you down, they also don't care where your face lands, your glasses land, or whether you live or die (unless cameras are rolling). Their goal is control at that moment.

2024-04-26 03:47:22

Breaking: The University of Southern California has closed its campus and will not hold classes out of an abundance of caution. We are concerned someone might utter a word we don't like based upon the education and training we provided to them.
#Satire

2024-04-24 21:48:41

Good news, UT! The fired DEI administrators have been replaced with new hires!
#Satire
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/328/395/756/923/090/original/c502fab01d10887e.png

2024-04-23 19:29:53

Antitrust Professors: If you are against this noncompete rule, please sign this petition that also pledges that you will not work for another University for 10 years after you leave your present one.
#Antitrust #Satire

2024-04-20 01:02:47

Breaking: After finding that Graduation holds a clear and present danger, Columbia President Shafik asks NYPD to break up USC Graduation.
#Satire

2024-04-20 00:54:50

Also, we are no longer holding classes! In fact, we are taking our BALL AND GOING HOME. HAPPY NOW???
--Sincerely, USC
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/300/817/501/069/810/original/f055d0256c28722a.png

2024-04-16 23:55:50

Check out USC 's Resistance to Genocide Interdisciplinary minor curriculum if you're interested. See the courses.
https://catalogue.usc.edu/preview_program.php?catoid=8&poid=7496

2024-04-10 02:53:25

Friend (at aquarium with me): Ooh, look! Otters!
Me: A harbor seal, too.
Friend: NO, those are all otters.
Me *Singing*: No, one of these things is not like the otters....

2024-04-03 05:49:15

It is a sad world in which some mourn only their own, dehumanize those who are different, and yet claim moral superiority by pointing out that such thinking is the fault of others, but a virtue in themselves.
As if one innocent life lost is worth more or less than another's.

2024-04-02 17:34:26

San Bernardino sheriffs: Uh...her father killed her!
Video: Officer to other officers: "Stop shooting her!!!"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/apr/01/california-police-video-shooting-15-year-old-girl-savannah-graziano

2024-03-29 04:39:33

Lettuce be happy this didn't get too bananas.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/dole-plc-announces-mutual-termination-100000914.html
#Antitrust #Econtwitter

2024-03-25 19:59:59

Look, just tell me which law school I should boycott hiring clerks from due to this story.
#Satire
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/mar/25/judge-james-ho-wife-mifepristone-abortion-pill?CMP=share_btn_url

2024-03-21 22:34:15

Looking forward to writing an antitrust piece called "Through Microsoft's Windows: How Apple Developed Its Core Strategy."
#Satire #Antitrust

2024-03-18 22:49:09

My name is Bond. No Bond.
#Satire
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/119/129/009/534/963/original/89ba7fff3ae2e6ac.png

2024-03-15 16:17:00

Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Id.
Beware the Ids of March.
#IdesOfMarch

2024-03-12 03:34:37

*Frantically looking up whether Kate Middleton ever worked for Boeing*
#Satire

2024-03-09 17:42:01

Bad news: My partnership in a private university focused on the entertainment industry has ended.
It was the Colorado School of Mimes. I am a silent partner.

2024-03-09 16:29:48

Very pleased to publish my first conservative antitrust piece, "Why Quality Doesn't Matter if Output Increases: A story of Boeing."
#Satire #Antitrust

2024-03-08 05:55:12

https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/058/519/328/352/810/original/4bf94879afd1e6ba.png

2024-03-08 05:11:52

https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/058/348/967/138/635/original/5a825954009a62b5.png

2024-03-08 05:04:47

https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/058/321/009/255/314/original/29500895bb984942.png

2024-03-08 04:33:22

"THE #SOTU IS STRONG!"
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/058/197/120/953/118/original/86b5515c2781fb85.png

2024-03-08 02:09:31

It's not well known, but spies are an elite group. Known only by letters, they get reputations based on information they obtain.
Spy A and Spy B were good, but their colleague was well-known for their Spy C takes.

2024-03-07 05:18:52

On narrow mountain roads, if two competing expeditions (equipped with guides, supplies, and mules) block each other going opposite directions, the party at the lower altitude has right of way.
The party with the high ground is be obligated to back dat ass up.

2024-03-01 03:18:27

Breaking: Secretary-General of the UN practices using passive voice for promising future as AP reporter.
#Satire
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/112/018/265/987/136/352/original/02672efe122cf76b.png

2024-02-25 18:21:50

She should not be a clerk.
But she is one.
And that clerkship is increasingly valuable in the legal academy.
I think a law school should offer her a position after her clerkship, provided she only utter racial epithets for historical accuracy.
Satire
https://wapo.st/3OUf8OG

2024-02-18 05:23:11

Well, you just know if you're dressing in State Farm attire it's not going to completely cover you.
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/950/809/459/105/063/original/8edbaf91f624bbc2.png

2024-02-17 03:08:41

I tried to get my best friend familiar with Colorado ski resorts. But it was to know a Vail.

2024-02-12 02:43:37

Who wore it better?
#SuperBowl
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/916/208/000/911/647/original/87e3be105d479910.png

2024-02-12 01:26:35

The Super Bowl should have been on January 1st. This way, we could have Usher in the new year.

2024-02-12 01:14:25

"My name is RFK Jr. I have enough money to blow on a Super Bowl Ad. You may not know me..."

2024-02-12 01:09:25

"Look, I've got a blank space, and I'll write your name."
#Kelce #SuperBowl #SuperBowl2024
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/915/837/274/333/893/original/722cef27c32c74b1.png

2024-02-08 15:39:33

SCOTUS: Alito asks, "of course the President is not an officer, but is he a gentleman?"
#Satire

2024-02-06 05:03:40

In my forthcoming article, I explain why "Fast Car" is about coauthors, one senior and one entry, with the car being the metaphor for an article idea.
#Satire
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/882/785/085/009/459/original/7ff62e0b339042c0.png

2024-01-30 18:05:17

If you think January has been long remember February has an extra day in it this year as well.

2024-01-29 02:45:11

"I wrote our breakup song already and it's called Travis-tee."
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/836/942/009/253/356/original/d276f00cbfd763e0.png

2024-01-15 05:19:54

🎵 Lovely Lady Liberty
With her book of recipes
And the finest one she's got
Is the great American melting pot
The great American melting pot.
What good ingredients,
Liberty and immigrants. 🎵
--Schoolhouse Rock
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/758/274/042/544/366/original/1738d9c30419f313.png

2024-01-07 13:21:39

Farewell, #AALS2024. A friend helped make my badge fun.
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/714/873/439/960/188/original/07ff95fad4a1bced.png

2023-12-30 05:11:08

Teacher: What was a primary cause of the Civil War?
High School Student: Are you a democratic plant? Why would you ask this?

2023-12-24 02:59:40

Despite his fame and saving Christmas, Rudolph was not popular on the dating scene at the North Pole.
While sweet and helpful, something about him set off red lights.

2023-12-16 01:09:42

Public Service Announcement: Holiday means wrapping gifts. A lot of that gift wrap goes into landfills.
By one estimate, a landfill near me is completely full due to my attempts to wrap one gift. For some reason, the wrapping paper does not fit any other gift.

2023-11-30 18:23:58

While Henry Kissinger committed war crimes and was complicit through his policies of the murder of thousands upon thousands of innocent people, it's important to remember he was a yankees fan.
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/500/894/503/121/600/original/bd8ff00527ec00cb.png

2023-11-30 04:50:09

Talk of war crimes means absolutely nothing when you can live a long life after committing them without any worry of law.
https://www.justsecurity.org/87043/is-henry-kissinger-a-war-criminal/
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/497/694/742/250/032/original/8c24ed5a875442a1.png

2023-11-23 02:13:03

When you cook your stuffing in the turkey, do not bind the legs together. You need to make sure at least one of the legs is pointed to the ceiling. It will make the turkey cook faster.
And you'll have a leg up.
#Thanksgiving #Turkey

2023-11-20 21:47:00

The Voting Rights Act is like the SCOTUS Code of Ethics. You don't need enforcement. People are nice and will just voluntarily comply!
#Satire #SCOTUS #lawtwitter

2023-11-19 19:42:23

Whether you are whole-heartedly voting for President Joe Biden in 2024, reluctantly voting for him, or not voting for him at all, the fact you gave $25 to him in 2000 still makes you very very liberal and practically a communist.
#Satire

2023-11-16 02:58:49

Quitting the legal academy to start a new business. A niche burger delivery business, where a cool Korean War military ambulance delivers your food.
I call it M*A*S*H*burger

2023-11-13 17:48:07

Ah, a classic.
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/404/494/603/771/759/original/40e6c904d6f4f612.png

2023-10-31 18:27:09

Scare someone at the WSJ Opinion Page or Chamber of Commerce.
#antitrust
https://media.mstdn.social/media_attachments/files/111/331/036/660/566/793/original/668a34c8d28894d4.png

2023-10-17 22:56:20

I learned today that when a Hospital explodes the proper procedure is to debate with as much misinformation as possible who exploded it all the while ignoring the cries for help from the Hospital as innocent people die.
I also learned today that to some winning that argument -- on who exploded the hospital -- appears to be vitally more important than the lives of the people in the hospital.
Which still does not have aid.

2023-10-17 22:35:49

Well, I was wondering how this month could get worse.
https://variety.com/2023/film/news/jada-pinkett-smitth-will-smith-write-new-book-separation-1235759351/

2023-10-14 18:02:06

You see a child on the street, hungry and dehydrated; or carried away by a kidnapper and assaulted.
Is there anything that child could have done to deserve any of those atrocities?
Would you first ask where the child was from and their parent's belief system before giving aid?
Suppose see two children in the same situation.
Would you only object in one instance and not the other?

2023-10-14 16:45:14

For those of you looking at the solar eclipse, remember you are obligated to sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" while watching.
#Eclipse2023

2023-10-04 19:30:35

This has been a test of the #EmergencyAlertSystem. Had this been an actual emergency, members of Congress would have tweeted about it, blaming the other party from the safety of a bunker as the rest of us died.

2023-10-04 17:33:59

So, for those of you teaching at 1:20 p.m. central time, are you going to pretend to be a zombie walk out of your classroom as you say "Faculty meeting?"
#EmergencyAlertSystem #FEMA #lawtwitter #AcademicChatter

2023-09-28 03:26:08

As the first genetically modified cow to have genius-level IQ, Bessie knew she had to write her memoirs. She also knew that some people would feel ill just reading them.
Some people, she realized, can't have diary.

2023-09-27 13:48:56

The Federalist's awkward relationship with Taylor Swift.
https://post.news/@/lawprofblawg/2Vyy8YEI66BC6exQXIRoYOeH3wn

2023-09-27 13:30:53

New from WSJ Opinion: Totally disappointed to see Lina Khan's FTC grasping at straws to get Amazon.
They are going to have a hard time proving Amazon is an online superstore when it clearly has delivery trucks and Whole Foods.
#satire #antitrust #lawtwitter

2023-09-19 19:59:35

To those of you wondering if YOU SHOULD think about ancient Rome more or even at all, I quote the B-52s.
Rome if you want to.

2023-09-16 16:47:33

Breaking: Senate Jury votes 30-0 that Paxton is a ruggedly good looking man and we're so sorry please forgive us!!!!!
#PaxtonTrial #PaxtonImpeachmentTrial

2023-09-16 16:30:12

Breaking: #TXlege acquitted of all charges of taking its job seriously.
What? Too early?
#PaxtonImpeachmentTrial #Satire