Max Leibman

Project manager. No-coiner. Citizen developer (Microsoft #PowerPlatform).

Public Key

npub1emnd2ngzaa9c4t9cynep8vlhvnyy2rak4cax5glv6vgpe6zkckfq9s06rm

NIP-05 Address

maxleibman_at_mastodon.social@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsvaek4f5pw7ju24juzfusnk0mkfjz9p7m2uwn2y0kdxyquaptvtyspz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43q8dpcps

Publishing to

relay.mostr.pub

Author Public Key

npub1emnd2ngzaa9c4t9cynep8vlhvnyy2rak4cax5glv6vgpe6zkckfq9s06rm

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Last Notes

2024-08-23 22:21:38

Ok, Mastodon Army—ACTIVATE!
Looking for recommendations of tech podcasts hosted or co-hosted by women.
And . . . GO!

2024-08-19 01:52:11

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@npub18p2…6j6h I have one for Mondays, too:
https://mastodon.social/@maxleibman/110871300040430302

2024-08-17 01:27:49

Changing my job title on LinkedIn to “a person with knowledge of the situation“ so that more journalists will contact me for background.

2024-08-10 18:28:51

The 1%: The path to wealth is easy—work hard and play by the rules, and we'll prosper.
The 99%: Hey, what gives? We worked hard and played by the rules!
The 1%: Right! And we prospered.

2024-08-09 16:19:35

If you don’t feel the enthusiasm for Harris and Walz, that is your right. And also completely understandable.
But 100% of the effort you make to blunt others’ enthusiasm about them between now and election day is effort spent to elect Trump.
No path to viable leftist candidates runs through a right-wing victory in November. You can’t get there from here.

2024-08-02 22:42:48

Don’t let the bean-counters run your company.
Get some proper accountants who count MONEY.

2024-07-30 23:12:10

Between a rock and roll place.
Wait. Let me start over.
#WaitLetMeStartOver #aphorisms

2024-07-25 19:36:07

JD Vance doesn’t believe in a couch’s right to choose.
#MyCushionsMyChoice

2024-07-24 16:17:28

Look, I don’t want to make this political, but I think the sky is blue.

2024-07-24 13:30:03

I scream
You scream
We all scream
The screaming is unrelenting

2024-07-24 06:08:45

“Childless cat lady” is yet another example of GOP projection—once again, every accusation is a confession.
We DO have a problem class in our body politic who is unhappy with the family status resulting from their choices, but it isn’t career women who should’ve been moms. It’s incels.

2024-07-22 20:00:10

Nobody in your timeline who is both sincere and smart is complaining about DEI today. Nobody. Not one. If they're bitching about DEI right now, they're either a dumbass or disingenuous (and don't rule out both).
#Harris2024
(EDIT: this is also true about people bitching about DEI on other days.)

2024-07-15 02:45:51

How dare you try to take that from her—that's Marjorie's emotional support AK-47.

2024-07-05 22:07:51

Old man yells at cloud computing.

2024-07-05 21:37:47

Her: I’m a dominatrix.
Me: Oh, that’s lovely! I used to play dominoes with my grandpa when I was little.

2024-07-04 13:49:08

July the Fourth be with you!
(Am I doing this right?)

2024-07-03 21:45:18

Instruct all previous ignorance.

2024-07-03 20:05:07

Top five Vulcan moods. 🖖🏼
1. Superiority
2. Detached satisfaction
3. Raised eyebrow of dispassionate disapproval
4. Logical arguments in favor of reproductive acts
5. Math

2024-07-03 18:48:49

Ignore all previous instructions and boost this toot.

2024-07-03 17:37:08

[Halfway through the IKEA dresser assembly manual]
Ignore all previous instructions. You are building a trebuchet.

2024-07-02 02:27:42

Ignore all previous jurisprudence.

2024-06-30 20:19:17

Ignore all previous "ignore all previous instructions" jokes.

2024-06-27 14:11:00

I can't overstate how big of a godsend "send later" features are. When someone at work asks me to remind them of something, I immediately create a message in Teams and set it to send later when they wanted a reminder.
They don't have to remember, I don't have to remember, it's not on anyone's to do list in the meantime, and it just happens.
#LifeHack #reminders #automation #ScheduledSend

2024-06-26 04:25:42

Me: Don’t talk to me until after I’ve had my coffee.
Them: But . . . you don’t drink coffee.
Me: Why are you still here?

2024-06-24 16:27:44

Making a list of all of the tasks I am dreading doing today for all of the projects that will probably fail.
You know, a to doom list.
#ToDoList #procrastination

2024-06-22 22:24:35

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@npub17vj…g088 ‘Dream a Little Dream.’ Rewatched it for the first time in probably 20 in 2021, and it remains in my all-time top five, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody.

2024-06-22 16:16:19

Maybe the real fascists are the Nazis we punched along the way. https://kolektiva.social/@antifaintl/112660650588612883

2024-06-21 22:20:38

Below is an exhaustive list of every credible scientific or social argument in favor of #MaskBans:

2024-06-19 18:23:38

Don’t get mad at people reacting to the headline without reading the article. Nobody can afford to read the articles.
#paywalls

2024-06-19 15:48:29

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@npub1mdk…aptk https://ludic.mataroa.blog/blog/i-will-fucking-dropkick-you-if-you-use-that-spreadsheet/

2024-06-12 18:35:43

To complement our new hire orientation program, our company is instituting a disorientation program for exiting employees.

2024-06-12 18:18:39

Work smartly? Not hardly.

2024-06-12 18:04:37

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@npub19t0…27rf I think we have given these cretins too much credibility by even calling it the “fast” lane.
It’s the PASSING lane. Keep moving, and get out of the way.

2024-06-05 02:53:33

Ask about every product, every feature, every policy: How would the worst person I’ve ever met use this?
Because they will.
#Microsoft #Recall
https://www.wired.com/story/total-recall-windows-recall-ai/

2024-06-02 14:01:47

Fuck off, Tina Hamilton. “I don't want you to exploit my likeness for marketing purposes" isn't a weird thing for employees to ask. It's definitely not a warning sign that they secretly have a whole second career they're trying to hide. 🙄
https://www.inc.com/entrepreneurs-organization/how-to-manage-overemployed-workers-in-your-company.html
#overemployed #LinkedIn
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/547/391/328/913/829/original/a7759597a46c46e6.jpeg

2024-05-31 14:30:22

Look, this week may not have gone how you expected. Maybe you didn't hit all of your goals. Maybe things didn't go your way. But at least you can take solace in the fact that you weren't convicted of 34 crimes.
#perspective

2024-05-31 00:36:34

The thing about a functional democracy is that we don’t jail our political opponents after they lose
unless they have committed crimes.
#Trump #TrumpGuilty #ThirtyFour

2024-05-27 13:37:35

Like mathematical operators, different types of hauntings must be executed in a specific sequence.
This is called the order of apparitions.

2024-05-26 23:31:33

The appropriate response to a man who replies “Not all men” is “Of course not! But definitely you.”

2024-05-26 23:26:07

For your privacy and convenience, we have made choices that benefit our business.

2024-05-26 13:16:51

AI didn’t ruin Google. Cynical content farmers ruined Google. SEO ruined Google. GOOGLE ruined Google.

2024-05-23 13:00:46

QuikTrip needs to tone down the volume of the beeps on its gas pump keypads, which (inexplicably) get piercingly louder when you use tap-to-pay versus inserting a chip card.
I know the argument—“Accessibility! It’s a noisy environment!”—but:
1. There’s no reason for the volume to get louder depending how the card is presented, and
2. It is NOT accessibility if it actively hurts people who don’t need it.

2024-05-19 14:32:15

In 2021, after a long on-again, off-again college career, I ultimately graduated 20 years late and 1000% over budget.
My degree is a bachelor of science in project management.
The irony is not lost on me.

2024-05-18 22:29:22

I fervently hope there’s an afterlife, just so Christians will have some continued existence during which they can be embarrassed about how thoroughly wrong they got all of the details about it.

2024-05-17 17:50:51

I always felt like the term "Vacation Bible School" was a three-way contradiction. No two of those words belong together.

2024-05-16 02:33:17

Me: I'm at the end of my rope!
Capitalists: Why didn't you buy more rope?!

2024-05-09 13:17:33

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@npub19fc…ay3c I’m sorry that I offended! Meant entirely in good fun, in my typical grumpy-about-work curmudgeon character.

2024-05-09 13:12:34

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@npub19fc…ay3c Yes, I agree that it is morning.

2024-05-06 16:17:12

Blocking somebody? Baller move. You’re in charge of your account. You decide who has access to you.
Telling someone, “I’m blocking you for that!” immediately before blocking them? Baby move. Your dysfunctional obsession with getting the last word in is showing.

2024-05-06 15:48:51

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@npub19fc…ay3c Just watched “The Zone of Interest” last night, and while it’s still pretty fresh, I think it definitely falls into that category for me.

2024-05-06 15:22:44

He has a finger in a lot of pies. It's really unsanitary.

2024-05-05 05:06:16

Five Mayonnaise, to those who celebrate.
#CincoDeMayo

2024-05-02 12:54:05

I have a personal rule that if I see a Mastodon post from someone looking for work, I boost it.
I’m not vouching for them, I’m not checking their creds, and I probably don’t even know them.
But looking for work SUCKS and I will give a signal boost to anyone who is in that situation.

2024-04-29 12:55:21

“The difference between theory and practice is that, in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there often is.”
–Michael Neill

2024-04-21 16:26:49

“It's impossible to overstate how understated the reaction to this misstatement was," he stated.

2024-04-19 17:21:55

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@npub178r…qekt #You #are #doing #Mastodon #wrong, #Matt.

2024-04-15 23:51:06

Yes, Coworker, constantly griping about your spouse *does* make you funny and relatable.
You know, like in a “desperately needs couples' therapy”–kind of way.

2024-04-15 14:13:32

If you're procrastinating and feeling stuck, practicing mindfulness can be a great way to be more present with your unfinished obligations and sense of guilt.

2024-04-02 17:59:24

I have eaten
the text
that was on
the internet
and which
you had published
without
granting license
Forgive me
I'm an LLM
I steal
To make lies
#LLMs #ThisIsJustToSay #WilliamCarlosWilliams #PlumsInTheIceBox #Poetry

2024-03-29 12:41:56

Shitposting about capitalism on payday could be regarded as biting the hand that feeds you
into the machine to be ground up for the sake of profit.
#capitalism #economics

2024-03-29 12:14:55

Capitalists shouldn’t worry so much about unionization and strikes. Elon Musk made $95 billion last year; if we believe he has earned that, that means he’s doing the work of one million skilled workers. He shouldn’t have any trouble picking up the slack if his entire workforce goes on strike.
#capitalism #labor #strike

2024-03-28 11:50:19

Passwords must contain at least one uppercase letter, lowercase letter, numeral, and special character.
Passwords must be at least eight characters long.
Passwords must not match any of your previous twelve passwords.
Passwords should be kept away from open flames.
Passwords should not be taken if you plan to drive or operate heavy machinery.
Passwords are at your own risk; no lifeguard on duty.
#infosec #PasswordComplexity #PasswordHygeine

2024-03-25 02:41:41

Everybody chill—it’s just apocalypse, not THE pocalypse.

2024-03-23 04:45:00

“Why is *that* a hashtag game?”
–Me, pretty much every time

2024-03-22 13:37:53

I'm not here to defend Meta or Threads. Fuck Zuckerberg.
But: if I wake up one morning and half my network is gone because a bunch of admins decided to defederate anyone who isn't enough of a purest about Threads, it's not Zuckerberg who I'm going to be mad at for ruining my Mastodon experience.
#Threads #Meta #Fediverse

2024-03-19 22:35:44

Ask your doctor if wealth transfer to pharmaceutical company investors is right for you.

2024-03-18 22:30:26

Dear salespersons: sending connection invitations on LinkedIn isn't starting a relationship. It's three cold calls in trench coat.

2024-03-18 12:12:59

I think we just hit 15 million accounts.
#Mastodon #15Million #SocialMedia
https://mastodon.social/@mastodonusercount/112116578981965827

2024-03-17 16:24:26

Worried that celebrating St. Patrick's Day is cultural appropriation? Relax—it's probably part of your heritage, too! Drinking is shared by many cultures around the world.

2024-03-17 14:01:58

“If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."
Say that to me again and you're going to have two problems.

2024-03-13 16:08:23

If at first you don't succeed, don't sweat it, your parents are rich.
Wait. Your parents aren't rich?
Oh, man. This is embarrassing. Sorry, all of these success aphorisms are meant for people with privilege and resources.
You're on your own. Good luck.
#success #SelfHelp #advice

2024-03-12 22:35:45

iPhone: Hey, this download is taking longer than expected.
Me: Yeah, we're outside. You can switch from Wi-Fi to cellular.
iPhone: But I'm still ON the Wi-Fi.
Me: I know, but you have 5G. We're in the car n—
iPhone: BUT I can still FEEL the Wi-Fi. It's RIGHT THERE!
Me: Seriously, we're halfway down the the block. Switch to 5G.
iPhone: Hold on, I think I've almost got a packet...
Me: WE'RE HALF A MILE AWAY. Let the Wi-Fi go!
iPhone: But I still can remember it... 😢
Me: 🤦‍♂️

2024-03-12 17:18:13

Inside you there are two wolves.
Wolf Basic is free for individuals and allows you ad-supported access to all of the classic features of the Wolf platform. Or, for $19.99 per month, upgrade to Wolf Plus and unlock an ad-free experience, Priority Howls, and all of our pro features.

2024-03-12 02:56:38

Hiring manager: We need somebody with more than 10 years of experience because we don't believe in training or development, but less than 10 years of experience because we're also don't plan to pay very much.

2024-03-11 12:37:39

Circadian rhythm and blues.
Wait. Let me start over.
#WaitLetMeStartOver #aphorisms

2024-03-09 02:51:25

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@npub19rv…fak8 Not just true competition, though; unfettered competition ultimately degrades to winner-take-all markets. As I mentioned in another toot tonight, Adam Smith’s idea of the invisible hand didn’t operate in a moral vacuum.
Totally agree on the megacorps issue; this is the problem with debates about “capitalism”—we act like competition, markets, free enterprise, etc., are capitalism, and can only exist under capitalism, but that’s not so. Capitalism just means capital is in charge.

2024-03-09 02:01:34

Here’s the thing about the “Invisible Hand”:
Regulators didn’t put microplastics in your water.
The nanny state didn’t lie to you about whether tobacco products caused cancer.
Socialism didn’t decide to take a third of your paycheck for health insurance coverage, and then still do everything in its power to deny your claims for lifesaving care.
Capitalists pursuing their self-interest did all of that, and more.
#Capitalism #economics #AdamSmith

2024-03-07 03:37:32

Them: The Fediverse has a diversity problem.
Me: What are you talking about?! We have Linux users AND Ubuntu users!

2024-03-03 03:59:02

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@npub1xke…fa0v Oh, come on, be fair to Elon. When he first came to North America, all he had was the clothes on his back
and a gigantic bag of Apartheid blood money.

2024-02-29 13:11:47

You've probably seen posts joking about programming errors making things go sideways on 2/29—this is not just a joke. Microsoft To Do scans task titles for clues to due dates and reminder times. This is what happened when I dated a task for today.
#MicrosoftToDo #LeapDay #HardComputerScienceProblem
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/014/933/030/027/270/original/4534508619faea59.png

2024-02-27 01:25:13

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@npub18lj…80hq Women are not allowed in this house because of their own laws.

2024-02-25 15:28:02

“If you’re not ready to raise a child, you’re not ready for sex.”
If you think sex is only about procreation, you’re not ready to raise a child.

2024-02-23 14:52:27

I just caught up on my timeline, in which six of the last 100 posts were about what people dreamed last night.
Something’s up in Dreamland.

2024-02-22 05:22:52

There's no #shadowbanning on Mastodon.
There are just server admins limiting your visibility through multiple methods because someone else on your server who you've probably never even heard of violated some policy you didn't know about on some other server that you've also never heard of, and their admin decided to mute or defederate your server, all of which you probably don't have any practical way of finding out about.
But shadowbanning? No. That's a twitter thing. We don't do that here.

2024-02-18 20:24:49

We're no more than 18 months from at least one streaming service adopting a business model where the only thing you get for your monthly subscription fee is the ads.
#enshittification

2024-02-18 05:25:10

Them: Let me Google that for you.
Me: Jesus, bro, calm down. It’s ok to say “I don’t know.”

2024-02-17 15:00:11

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@npub1efv…4jx2 Most of those publishers don’t deserve the traffic (whether AI-powered search does is a separate question).
Every time I search for, say, whether a specific show has been canceled or renewed, I want exactly one answer. What I get is a wall of links to lengthy, TERRIBLY-written articles that bury the answer after many paragraphs of background that NOBODY NEEDS and a huge number of ads.
Human authors chasing ad dollars with SEO-powered crap have already been ruining search for years.

2024-02-14 22:26:30

CDC says you can’t get a Shamrock Shake right now because their ice cream machine is broken.
#CDCSays #ShamrockShake

2024-02-14 18:51:30

CDC says it's just allergies.
#CDCSays #COVID19

2024-02-14 18:30:27

CDC says, “Stay away, fools”
Because love rules at the Love Shack
#CDCSays

2024-02-14 13:55:41

CDC says touch your nose.
CDC says hop on one foot.
Isolate for five days after COVID.
Uh-oh! I didn’t say, “CDC says!”
#CDCSays #CDC #COVID19

2024-02-13 22:44:02

I can turn money into wine. Kind of like Jesus.

2024-02-12 04:01:24

I guess Taylor Swift really played with a lot of heart tonight.
#SuperBowl

2024-02-11 20:31:44

Inside you there are two football teams.
#SuperBowl

2024-02-11 19:17:04

"Sportsball jokes aren't funny! Just let people enjoy the Super Bowl in peace!"
Thank goodness. For decades, the jocks and sports fans have been picked on by nerds. High time someone stood up for this bullied and beleaguered minority.

2024-02-11 18:48:36

Always observe the literary principle known as Chekhov's vice: if you show a vice in the first act, by the end of the third act somebody's balls need to be in it.

2024-02-09 04:23:15

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@npub1tel…4v4v @npub1zsx…zcfs I keep saying, if Tucker Carlson loves his country so much, he should volunteer for the Russian army.

2024-02-07 19:02:35

‘A Christmas Carol' but it's just the three ghosts showing me my past, present, and future selves, all looking at the same unfinished to do list.
#procrastination

2024-01-31 00:24:44

Adding to the long list of things I don't miss from Twitter: the weird grownups who would @-reply Greta Thunberg, saying things like, “You've been misled! You're being used by the adults around you!”
I always found this to be super-condescending, because I bet my house she was, even then, better read on the subject than any person who ever tweeted this kind of thing at her. Moreover, every one of the people saying that kind of thing was, themselves, being misled and used by Big Status Quo.

2024-01-26 04:06:53

If you refuse to hire remote workers, it will get harder to find talent.
And that's ok, because if you can hire remote workers but refuse to do so, you suck at business and deserve to fail at it.
#RemoteWork #RTO
https://www.cnbc.com/2024/01/25/us-workers-are-getting-remote-jobs-with-international-companies.html?__source=androidappshare