Warehouse Worker / is on Nostr

I toot about the things you find in the Warehouse as you go about your rounds.

Last Notes

2024-09-06 00:15:02

Aisle 20, Shelf 7, Object E9:1A:8D:7B:CF:68
A crumpled and smoothed photograph of Nikola Tesla, near the end of his life, standing in a queue of people. The photo has been torn in half and reassembled with cellophane tape.
If you look at it long enough, he winks at you.

2024-07-20 06:15:03

Aisle 29202, Shelf 2, Object DB:B5:64:ED:5A:93
A 13-inch Zenith color TV/VCR combo playing an advertisement for Head On (apply directly to the forehead!) on a continuous loop. It does not appear to be plugged in.
With every repetition, the actors seem a little more desperate.

2024-05-26 00:15:02

Aisle 21, Shelf 9, Object EE:DC:5B:30:AF:A7
A 13-inch Emerson color TV/VCR combo playing an advertisement for Chia Pets on a continuous loop. It does not appear to be plugged in.
You realize you have your phone out and are dialing the number on the screen. Your training kicks in, and you go to return your phone to your locker in the break room, where you could have sworn it was at the start of your shift.

2024-05-10 00:15:02

Aisle 2490, Shelf 1, Object 6E:7C:2B:5C:D8:A0
A vivid color photograph of Aleister Crowley, in his youth, eating a sandwich.
As you touch it, there is a flash of light and a loud pop, as from an old-fashioned flash bulb, and You hear children laughing in the distance.

2024-05-02 06:15:01

Aisle 459, Shelf 5, Object C0:DE:3B:A6:FE:5C
A 13-inch Emerson color TV/VCR combo playing an advertisement for spray-on hair on a continuous loop.
When your safety badge gets hot enough to melt and release its ammonia fumes, you realize that you have been chanting the sales pitch along with the narrator for the last ten minutes. Your throat is raw, and now you're going to have to spend the last hour of your shift in Decontamination. Damn it.

2024-03-11 06:15:04

Aisle 21, Shelf 5, Object EE:15:DC:B9:F1:AD
A tin box, approximately the size of a pack of cigarettes, with a discreet red button on the side. Its object label reads only "Recovered by Robert Anton Wilson".
You push the button. You are overcome by sudden vertigo, and when you catch your balance again, the shelf in front of you contains an antique polished bronze mirror. Your reflection seems ordinary, but instead of the Warehouse behind you, you see stars and the moon. A moon, anyway.

2024-03-08 06:15:04

Aisle 56, Shelf 6, Object 8B:5A:8B:FE:7F:9D
An ornately carved wooden box, roughly the size of a box of tissues, with a discreet red button on the front.
You push the button. Now there are two identical boxes on the shelf.

2023-07-16 00:15:02

Aisle 24, Shelf 8, Object 1E:6D:68:4F:2C:0B
A photograph of William Henry Harrison pointing his finger at something out of frame.
As you touch it, there is a flash of light and a loud pop, as from an old-fashioned flash bulb, and someone shouts at you in a language you do not understand.

2023-05-15 12:15:03

Aisle 93, Shelf 3, Object F4:B6:AC:1A:D7:BE
A glossy photograph of John Dee, in his youth, looking straight at the camera. Someone has set their coffee on the photo, and it is marred by pale brown rings.
If you look at it long enough, he winks at you.

2023-05-08 00:15:01

Aisle 96305, Shelf 4, Object 7F:6E:E4:FB:0C:A5
A 13-inch Emerson color TV/VCR combo playing an advertisement for "pocket" garden hoses on a continuous loop.
As you approach, you remember your training, and insert your earplugs.

2023-05-04 18:15:03

Aisle 271, Shelf 1, Object A9:BE:3F:C2:DA:C5
An ornately-framed mirror, about three feet tall. Your reflection seems ordinary, but watching over your right (or is that left?) shoulder is Adolf Hitler. You quickly shut your eyes, as the training video said to do, but you can still hear him whispering.

2023-04-28 00:15:02

Aisle 742, Shelf 2, Object A1:C1:0F:E6:DC:C5
A pencil case. A small label reads: DO NOT REMOVE FROM CASE. You do not see a case.
As you pick it up, the light dims and you briefly smell christmas tree.

2023-04-23 00:15:01

Aisle 84184, Shelf 5, Object 01:CD:3E:F2:B4:CA
A 13-inch Magnavox color TV/VCR combo playing an advertisement for retractable awnings on a continuous loop. It does not appear to be plugged in.
You knew your schedule would take you into this section today, so you left your phone in your locker. How you came to be dialing the on-screen number, then, is a question you might want to bring up with your supervisor next time you see her.

2023-04-16 18:15:03

Aisle 59, Shelf 5, Object B7:AE:D6:E0:CE:7D
A small square photograph of William Henry Harrison, near the end of his life, sitting on a picnic blanket.
If you look at it long enough, he sticks his tongue out at you.

2023-04-03 18:15:05

Aisle 29, Shelf 1, Object 5B:A9:9C:F0:7E:DA
A beige plastic box, about the size of a deck of cards, with a discreet red button on the front. Its object label reads only "Collected by Albert Einstein".
You feel a strong sense of deja vu as you reach out to push the button, and draw your hand back.

2023-04-02 18:15:01

Aisle 218, Shelf 1, Object C9:DC:5C:FD:3B:E2
A beige plastic box, roughly the size of your fist, with a prominent round button on the side. Its object label reads only "Collected by Ada Lovelace".
You push the button. A deep thrumming surrounds you for exactly five seconds, then stops.