David Marshall

A writer currently querying a two-book series set in a comic fantasy Australia. Harold is a failed alchemist, about to fail at dragon slaying. He is armed with a cheese knife. Princess Ruby has a sword. She has it at Harold's throat. #WritingCommunity #amquerying

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npub15mvnk6ajuaallkpmrmc7w0wjyhvl4r68sx8vtna2hn3lzad8tyas65hl23

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davidtheeviloverlord_at_mastodon.social@mostr.pub

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nprofile1qqs2dkfmdweww7llmqa3au088hfztk063arcrrk9e74tecl3wkn4jwcvh07q3

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npub15mvnk6ajuaallkpmrmc7w0wjyhvl4r68sx8vtna2hn3lzad8tyas65hl23

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Last Notes

2024-10-22 09:02:47

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@npub1tpv…zwsk
After the election, the tattoo artist can add some bars.

2024-10-17 01:16:05

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@npub132h…f594
So, Musk is using his decreased ad revenue to claim Xitter is too small and insignificant for this law to apply to them, while also *checks notes* suing companies that stopped advertising on Xitter.

2024-10-16 08:46:18

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@npub1lgd…e4sf
*sends hugs, if that's okay*

2024-10-13 06:57:27

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@npub1um7…2mt3
Before The Warhammer World was The World That Was, that world was in the 40k universe.
Just conveniently cut off by warp storms.

2024-10-04 22:18:51

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@npub1dts…6798
Straight to the point(s).

2024-10-04 21:54:58

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@npub1dts…6798
You may remember me from films like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

2024-10-04 21:46:39

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@npub1dts…6798
I do feel like

2024-10-04 03:27:29

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@npub1nw8…8pu2 @npub1kvz…k9es
Roman concrete lasts longer. IIRC, it has something in it that was dismissed by modern science as "impurities".
Until they figured out these impurities actually "healed" broken concrete when exposed to sunlight.

2024-10-03 00:30:22

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@npub132h…f594
But "A.I." companies can't afford to pay the writers and artists they stole from?

2024-10-01 05:09:46

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@npub1mmf…eknq
There were "once in a thousand year" floods in Australia a couple of years ago.
And then more "once in a thousand year" floods, same area, just a couple of months later.
One of our climate-change denying politicians (in government at the time, so he could have fought for public money instead) set up a gofund me for flood victims, and asked the public to pay.

2024-09-30 05:20:19

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@npub1p4u…l2nd
Strange women lying in dumpsters distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

2024-09-27 07:36:51

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@npub1dyt…q8lq
So, the universe is a very large slime mould?

2024-09-23 20:41:39

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@npub1dts…6798
Is this the origin story of a superhero, or a supervillain?

2024-09-18 03:42:13

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@npub1lgd…e4sf
Years of reading post-apocalypse, pre-apocalypse, and even apocalypse-right-now fiction did not prepare me for the let-all-the-apocalypses-happen-at-once reality.

2024-09-16 05:21:49

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@npub10xg…h39u
A perfectly normal photo of the bride and groom, with the best man standing behind them.

2024-09-15 03:09:25

The Ryes of Skywalker.
Tatooine womp rat on rye. Served with a glass of blue milk.
#NameASandwichAfterACharacter
#HashTagGames

2024-09-09 23:28:53

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@npub132h…f594
I read this as: Star Wars New Hallmark Project is 'Racier' Than Fans Might Expect.

2024-09-04 21:26:25

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@npub1uw8…88kr
Your llama has students? And email?

2024-09-04 05:24:06

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@npub1j0e…nhrj
And the manliest of Greek heroes: Testicles.

2024-08-31 11:08:08

"I'm sorry, Magus. I know your Uncle Bob looks a little different these days."
"Did he fall into a vat of toxic waste, or something?"
"Or something. Our genestealer cult what's been in our family for generations? Weren't good enough for him. He got...religion."
"What kind of religion could do that to my purestrain uncle?"
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/056/292/672/902/395/original/ef7c3461810c26bc.jpg

2024-08-31 02:28:35

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@npub1gvl…8ag7
Good luck!

2024-08-30 23:35:49

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@npub1tel…4v4v
When you couch it in those terms, with nothing to cushion the blow, it shows you donut know what a gaffe or slip up actually is.

2024-08-24 03:11:21

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@npub1dts…6798
Chrysler Backseat?

2024-08-18 01:49:05

Pinball Wizard is a discarded part of the first draft of the Lord of the Rings, a song Tolkien said was written by the elves, about the misspent youth of Gandalf the Grey. Before his hair went grey.
#BadAISongExplanations
#HashTagGames

2024-08-18 01:32:59

And You Can Tell Everybody, This is Your Song. Just ignore the whole concept of copyright. That's what we do.
#BadAISongExplanations
#HashTagGames

2024-08-18 01:22:35

The House of the Rising Sun is a lullaby for astronomers, as they are a nocturnal species.
#BadAISongExplanations
#HashTagGames

2024-08-17 04:18:13

"What are all these electrical cables doing here? How am I meant to infiltrate through this? Now I'm stuck!"
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/975/417/771/335/433/original/66b1c58f742c2a77.jpg

2024-08-15 23:25:26

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@npub132h…f594
Do asteroids usually wipe out comets?

2024-08-12 00:55:07

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@npub132h…f594
I was sure this story was going to be about clusterfucks of Starlink satellites blocking the view.

2024-08-03 13:09:35

#WordWeavers 03 August: Is there a genre you haven’t written yet but would like to try?
Years ago, on the old FS&F forum, someone asked John Joseph Adams what he was looking for in a story.
He said he didn't get enough near future exploration of the solar system, uplifted animals, and skyhook stories.
I posted that my next story submission would be Combat Cheerleaders of Mars Versus the Uplifted Animals, and the Winner gets the Skyhook.
My next rejection included a hand-written note:
1/2

2024-08-01 07:56:12

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@npub1aum…5jx0
Yes.

2024-08-01 02:10:42

It's all Greek to me.
#PettyOlympicsComplaints
#HashTagGames

2024-07-31 02:25:00

#WritersCoffeeClub 30 July: How might you summarize your WIP for the blurb? Do you have an idea?
Harold’s To Do List:
1) Slay the dragon (with a cheese knife).
2) Rescue the Princess (she’s already rescued herself).
3) Convince the Princess to not stab you (this is important!).
4) Slay the necromancer to stop the zombie apocalypse.
5) Oops, wrong necromancer.
6) Slay the right necromancer.
7) Save the zombies from a human apocalypse.
8) Marry the Princess?
9) Wow, what a week!

2024-07-29 05:32:19

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@npub1uw8…88kr
Life finds a way.

2024-07-20 13:39:04

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@npub1k24…26zw
They drop from the trees.

2024-07-20 05:44:44

#PennedPossibilities 381: Does your MC have any allergies?
Harold is allergic to Drop Bears. If his eyes are watering, and he starts sneezing, don't waste time looking up. RUN!

2024-07-09 00:50:22

Nailed it!
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/753/764/504/548/121/original/e5f9f6f24fbc2b54.jpg
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/753/775/718/196/893/original/79471a067b75aee6.jpg

2024-07-08 04:31:10

#WritersCoffeeClub 08 July: Share the opening of your work. First line or paragraph, Your choice.
The problem with a gift from the Gods is that you cannot return it. No exchanges, no refunds.
The Gods get rather upset if you even try.
Do not ask me how I know this.

2024-07-08 01:58:19

#PennedPossibilities 367: What would you do if you found an anachronism or other item out of place in the timeframe of your story, especially if it’s major?
Explain to the time travellers that there are very severe penalties for polluting the timestream.

2024-07-07 20:39:15

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@npub1nn8…8sed
This remake of Fantastic Voyage is nothing like the original.

2024-07-05 23:54:12

FREE HUGS!
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/736/569/229/747/871/original/c5ebf44511f7b9a7.jpg

2024-07-05 22:11:41

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@npub132h…f594
What could possibly go wrong?

2024-06-28 12:42:14

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@npub1tel…4v4v
Is there one?

2024-06-27 21:24:42

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@npub1ywy…cksd
"Upgraded".
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

2024-06-24 11:36:22

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@npub17vj…g088
Man? Or Minotaur?

2024-06-21 02:02:14

Though we never thought that we could goose
There's no egret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando
#IdealizeFowlInASongOrPoem
#HashTagGames

2024-06-18 07:58:16

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@npub1aum…5jx0
Yes, because there are ways to move from one of my fictional universes to another.
Even if the characters don't want to.

2024-06-15 11:08:45

#WordWeavers 15 June: Do any of your characters deal with insomnia? How do they handle it?
No, but I have a character whose superpower comes with an inconvenient side effect - every time she uses it, she falls asleep.

2024-06-11 22:09:21

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@npub132h…f594
If it doesn't stop them stealing my data for their "A.I." Plagiarism Engines, it's not anti theft.
#Enshittification

2024-06-11 01:40:22

"May third course be with you."
#MashUpFoodAndFamousQuotes
#HashTagGames

2024-06-10 12:12:32

WARHAMSTER!
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/592/251/494/021/368/original/5eefd7b30a9e9886.jpg

2024-06-08 04:44:09

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@npub1ept…jcl3
The frequency suggests the companies really do want to grant themselves an infinite licence, and they keep testing the water to see what they can get away with this time.

2024-06-07 01:42:50

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@npub132h…f594
Because the scientists can't work out where the whales got those crossbows?

2024-06-06 09:50:41

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@npub132h…f594
There is a reason why a bunch of lions is called a "pride".

2024-06-05 11:10:18

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@npub1qk5…jlda
Obi-Wan Cownobi.

2024-06-05 07:10:07

#WritersCoffeeClub 05 June: Have you ever dreamed about characters in your work?
Sometimes that's how they get into my work in the first place.
*tries to think of a story that would fit last night's dream creation, a crocodile who was shoved through what the hero thought was an annihilation field, but was actually a chrono-evolution field, and now I have a sentient crocodile, walking upright, and asking me to call him Gavin, honestly, what's with these thoughtless heroes?*
#WritingCommunity

2024-06-05 06:58:35

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@npub1aum…5jx0
In 2016 I wrote a supervillain doing bad things with the Artemis space telescope.
Now NASA stole the name Artemis for a moon mission.
#WritingCommunity

2024-06-03 09:54:02

#PennedPossibilities 333 — Pride Month Edition: Do you write any characters who are a part of the #LGBTQIA+ community?
Jenny: okay, so, she kissed a girl, once, okay twice, but she likes boys, okay, not girls. Probably, anyway.
Nova: hoping she gets to kiss Jenny again.
(Spoiler alert): wants to kiss Nova, totally bi, but the POV character (Jenny) can't see it.
Jasmine: totally bi, also a time traveller who shouldn't be kissing anyone, because she's already polluted the timestream.

2024-05-31 10:41:45

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@npub1t3d…qnlg
Anyone is at risk of a similar fate.
If they commit 34 felonies.

2024-05-30 22:22:22

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@npub132h…f594
Unpresidented!

2024-05-30 22:21:28

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@npub10k9…wvkd
If he's not able to leave New York, how will he attend all his other criminal trials?

2024-05-30 22:16:09

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@npub132h…f594
When is it getting settings that let you avoid Copilot and Recall?

2024-05-30 21:57:21

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@npub1aum…5jx0
Why, did some great big news happen?

2024-05-30 21:12:01

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@npub1v2s…mqq5
I can't stop smiling.
And I don't want to.

2024-05-27 21:05:10

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@npub1ept…jcl3
You'll never get yourself into a saga unless you do an unusually large amount of murder. That's just how heroic sagas work.

2024-05-26 08:40:53

Paint me like one of your French girls.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/506/487/441/253/306/original/bf6970760ad8756e.jpg

2024-05-24 23:40:53

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@npub1umt…lhmy
Send a redshirt away team to face the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without their towels, then. See what happens.

2024-05-24 23:11:47

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@npub1zdp…vqv8
I'm sorry, but you only have immunity to sirens if you have the Immunity to Sirens skill.
The only way you get the Immunity to Sirens skill is if you are a siren.

2024-05-24 03:34:29

This looks like a job for Stupid Man.
#ChangeCatchPhrasesAndMovieLines
#HashtagGames

2024-05-23 00:57:28

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@npub1e6y…2dfn
Noise Marines.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/487/693/990/092/701/original/fe14993748effe8d.jpg

2024-05-22 22:25:19

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@npub132h…f594
Everything I need to know about Copilot+ is how to subtract it from my laptop.

2024-05-21 08:04:07

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@npub183l…erjd
All sci-fi will come with the warning:
Don't try this at home, kids. Because it's meant to be a warning, not an instruction manual.

2024-05-17 02:59:42

Does a Bear Shit in the Woods?
Winnie the Poo
#FictionalCharactersAutobiography
#HashTagGames

2024-05-08 09:31:18

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@npub1aum…5jx0
The All-Father of the Gods in my comic fantasy novels is known as the All-Father because, like Zeus, he can't keep it in his pants.

2024-05-07 19:41:21

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@npub132h…f594
I already have super-incompetent colleagues.

2024-05-07 06:07:25

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@npub132h…f594
Well, it is a Boeing.

2024-05-03 06:54:43

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@npub1aum…5jx0
I killed him, but he won't stay dead.
I've killed him five times now.
He. Won't. Stay. Dead.
#WritingCommunity

2024-05-02 01:48:30

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@npub19fc…ay3c
And if Jaws loses its bite, the whole movie is just dead in the water.

2024-05-02 01:42:49

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@npub19fc…ay3c
Now I'm picturing Jaws, but every time the shark is about to attack, the jaunty cantina music from Star Wars plays.

2024-04-30 07:56:20

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@npub1aum…5jx0
Human tracks, turning into bear tracks. Obviously a werebear.

2024-04-18 05:06:14

Batshitmobile
#RejectedCybertruckNames
#HashtagGames

2024-04-18 04:07:59

KAA-RUNCH!
#RejectedCybertruckNames
#HashtagGames

2024-04-12 23:14:30

"The Black Knight is invincible!"
"You're a loony."
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/260/756/421/340/561/original/2f322ca73bd2061f.jpg

2024-04-12 07:33:36

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@npub132h…f594
*Hyper-Sexual Zombie Cicadas is not a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles spin-off

2024-04-05 07:56:04

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@npub1nxu…4hun
It's full of flames! And skulls! And flaming skulls!
This poor Tyranid Gargoyle is too traumatised to eat anyone today.

2024-04-05 07:26:08

"THAT'S NOT HOW YOU MAKE A BIRDBATH!"
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/217/404/975/545/071/original/b2bb3c1edf6680ac.jpg

2024-04-02 07:22:59

"Why you little...!"
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/200/412/267/363/064/original/e135d86b805b80b9.jpg

2024-04-02 07:17:04

IT TASTES OF BURNING!
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/200/391/699/100/535/original/9eebd7872bfdc4fb.jpg

2024-03-27 02:48:12

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Yawn
#HashtagGames
#LesserKnownBroadwayMusicals

2024-03-23 01:46:05

Starship Bloopers
#GoofOffAMovieOrBook
#HashTagGames

2024-03-22 01:29:26

Janie's got a gum
#TreeASongOrPoem
#HashTagGames

2024-03-22 01:03:18

Jack knew something was different about the dance club tonight. But every time he tried to think about it, the DJ played another song, and Jack's thoughts became terribly chaotic.
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/136/608/785/449/154/original/e88ca69371dd147f.jpg

2024-03-20 09:22:31

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@npub1aum…5jx0
Where else can you put your five small dragons?

2024-03-17 07:59:57

"Space, the final frontier. Captain's Log: Stardate, um, I dunno, I'm not good with numbers. Warp speed! Pew, pew!"
"Jack! Are you pretending to be the Captain again?"
"No, Mister Hive Tyrant, Sir?"
"Back to work! You're supposed to be eating the Captain."
"Yes, Mister Hive Tyrant, Sir."
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/109/920/868/396/134/original/7972df58500fd4c7.jpg

2024-03-15 22:26:58

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@npub132h…f594
"Microsoft will now forcibly add even more "A.I." crap to your computer, even though you don't want it."
Fixed the headline.
#Enshittification #A.I. #Microsoft

2024-03-14 09:46:13

"Oh, no. You have fallen, and you can't get up. Please, allow me to help you."
#Warhammer #WarhammerCommunity
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/093/380/900/484/969/original/9abc9566f0537864.jpg

2024-03-12 23:09:39

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@npub1uw8…88kr
Well, if dark humour is what you're looking for.
Starter Villain by John Scalzi suggests lasers are the answer.
Lasers can deorbit satellites.
I don't remember any solution to the poisoning of the atmosphere, but it does solve the first part of the problem.
If only astronomers had access to some sort of large optical device that might work with a laser attached.

2024-03-05 04:49:25

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@npub1aum…5jx0
Any thief attempting to "borrow" the gold coins from this purse will find their hands filled with D4 hungry rats, 10% chance of plague.

2024-03-05 02:31:57

#WritersCoffeeClub 03 Mar: How much of your worlds are invented versus real?
For my YA superhero novels, I've taken Australia, and added superpowers. And a spaceport.
For my totally stand-alone novel that turned out to be one superhero's origin story, I've taken the British Empire, and added necromancy. And Gods.
For my YA comic fantasy novels, I've taken Australia, and added magic. And drop bears.
#WritingCommunity

2024-03-02 23:18:28

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@npub1vgg…pm2j
Nobody expects the Sandwich Inquisition.