Silberengel on Nostr: So glad that you all like this one! Worried everyone would just freak out, as it's ...

So glad that you all like this one! Worried everyone would just freak out, as it's not very politically-correct.
I've just been sort of writing into the void, but the void just echoed back.

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The motherhood illusion

Growing up, I was always told that women wanted children, whilst men wanted sex. So, marriage was created, to unite these two urges, and men and women don’t otherwise particularly differ. But, it turns out, that women want protection and sex, and men want children and sex.

This is why women tend to be attracted to more masculine men (they’re associated with protection) and men tend to be attracted to more feminine women (they’re associated with motherhood). Women who are attracted to men, who aren’t overtly masculine, are looking for a different aspect of protection (reliability, steady income or wealth, emotional security, etc.)

This wasn’t readily apparent, in earlier generations, as widespread, youthful marriage meant that there weren’t any real decisions being made by the participants. Almost all women got married and had kids, and almost all men got married and had sex. Math checks out. But the number of women who could protect and provide for themselves was low, and the men marrying were often very young and libidinous, and not yet contemplating their own legacy.

Feminism, easy abortion, deindustrialization, delayed marriage, and reliable contraception have dissolved this illusion, completely. Millions of Western women quickly turned into cougars, careerists, party girls, and e-girls, and an entire army of childless men and sidelined dads bubbled up and began to make their pain known. Humanity’s dirty underbelly has been exposed.

Women aren’t as sweet, as we thought, and men are much sweeter.

Women also want children, but not as intensely. In fact, they seem to often viscerally dislike children, and are jealous of the protection they are to give them. So, they are prone to offing their offspring because they are averse to having any in-house competition.

If you just left women up to their own devices and reduced the social pressure, at least a fifth of them wouldn’t bother having children, at all, and another quarter will have one and then lose interest or age out. This is not a new phenomenon, as we can see.

The male competition for potential mothers turns out to be absolutely brutal, and more difficult than simply finding a woman to sleep with. And, now, we finally understand why men traditionally jumped through so many hoops, to attain a wife. It wasn’t for the sex; we’ve always had brothels, masturbation, and pornography. It was for the familial comfort, and, especially, for the children.

Good fathers make good mothers

Some women don’t know if they are “potential mothers”, until they meet a “potential father”, and their urge to procreate suddenly kicks in. They didn’t want children for their own sake, but now they want some for his sake. All of a sudden, they’re imagining themselves rocking the cradle, googling “what to eat, when you’re expecting”, and find themselves gushing over anything that gives off Hint of Infant.

I’m pregnant! Look what I can do! Look what I can do! For you, darling.

Women married to men they are deeply in love with, are much more likely to desire to become mothers (and be devastated by infertility), and make for better mothers, because children are like individualized presents they can give to their husband.

They want to impress him. Most want to be decent parents in their own right, but the urge to impress seems to raise this to a much higher level because women are vain, and therefore focused on raising their own status and how they appear to others. And the greatest “other”, of a happy wife, is her husband.

Because men are narcissistic, and therefore in love with anything associated with themselves (which underpins their obsession with owning property), men have an intense attachment to their children. What is more “yours”, than your progeny?

Fathers seem to develop a special attachment to, or fondness for, the mothers of their children, that goes beyond lust or romantic love; they never forgot who gave them this new Mini Me. And they are often quite impressed by their own ability to perform this trick numerous times, which leads to the intense satisfaction they feel at “going into serial production” and churning out more of those Mini Mes until their adoring wife pleads for mercy.

Men want children. Women, who love a man, want to give him those children and gain the fidelity that comes along with those children. This is the actual “trade” underpinning the urge to marry.