The Babylon Bee

Fake news you can trust.

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Last Notes

2024-06-29 20:50:27

Armless, Legless Biden Claims Debate Defeat Just A Flesh Wound https://t.co/jTN46SfviC https://t.co/vxOJC7QWc3 https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRRA-4xXcAACrMI.jpg

2024-06-29 20:39:54

Journalists Dumbfounded As There Were No Previous Signs Of Biden Declining Whatsoever https://t.co/84gZo1tY7S https://t.co/XRIDBE4hlp https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRQmmtAWwAAjxK8.jpg

2024-06-29 20:29:22

Researchers Say They Are Now Over 60% Confident Ohio Exists https://t.co/LCwxYZWd5d https://t.co/C3zPA31Nli https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRQY4PsWsAASflU.jpg

2024-06-29 20:24:06

Which Bible Character Are You? Take The Quiz! https://t.co/IHOkXAYzFh https://t.co/JIowShKb3b https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRQLNOmWgAArtQ8.jpg

2024-06-29 20:18:49

Husband, Wife Caught In Infinite Loop Of Shouting 'WHAT?!' Back And Forth Across The House https://t.co/8lgurNvd1b https://t.co/Q0LgRFlbnu https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRP9exfWcAExgMT.jpg

2024-06-29 20:13:33

Canada Officially Loses Recognized Country Status After Failing To Win Stanley Cup Again https://t.co/ox33Ae3w3F https://t.co/7L8SuBcD2p https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRPvxh5XAAA4BkB.jpg

2024-06-29 20:08:17

Texas Children’s Hospital CEO Denies Wrongdoing https://t.co/o1Vq2gpW8A https://t.co/1fmFDJIH45 https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRPiBTaXoCU1owg.jpg

2024-06-29 20:02:57

What Men Think Women Want Vs. What They Actually Want https://t.co/ZucmsO5ewx https://t.co/t2lIYSTOXo https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRM9KLrXYAA0ZEf.jpg

2024-06-29 01:12:15

Top 10 Candidates Democrats Are Considering To Replace Joe Biden https://t.co/KFWkufaCl9 https://t.co/SVhrFvRJFa https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRMNGSmXgAARgDN.jpg

2024-06-29 01:06:58

'Who’s A Good Boy? Huh? Who’s A Good Boy?’ Says Jill Biden Congratulating Biden With A Treat https://t.co/xyF6zQXlaD https://t.co/AV69iYCFkI https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRL_WQnWYAAv8B1.jpg

2024-06-29 01:01:42

Church Offering Free PTSD Counseling To All VBS Volunteers https://t.co/SQfzjr7j0z https://t.co/9luvF61G7x https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRLxoTTWUAAoRAz.jpg

2024-06-29 00:56:26

Democrats Ask Kristi Noem To Take Biden Out Behind White House Shed https://t.co/Voq26CbgGI https://t.co/0zZzcuSJWg https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRLjJ2ZWsAAn58I.jpg

2024-06-29 00:45:50

Alarming Study Finds 33% Of Americans Are Dumber Than A Bag Of Hammers https://t.co/TlCubt2uY3 https://t.co/leYteGwFAx https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRLKYs5XAAAOOPJ.jpg

2024-06-28 05:06:16

Trump Indicted For Murdering Elderly Man On CNN https://t.co/zLAfOXbJ11 https://t.co/mPcQ0EsCrC https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRIJiEQXIAAtd2U.jpg

2024-06-28 05:01:00

Biden Invents New Language On Live TV https://t.co/PQwIpAmCvN https://t.co/jZz6Ejj038 https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRIBPM6XkAA-agk.jpg

2024-06-28 04:50:26

Man Goes On Morning Run To Start The Day Off Miserable https://t.co/pK1jVrBb9i https://t.co/WpiK3pWdMC https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRHNzaIWoAAFxP8.jpg

2024-06-28 04:45:10

The Babylon Bee's 100% Accurate Predictions For Tonight's Debate https://t.co/9sO3MIeJJ2 https://t.co/ynHKQfp6qZ https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRHDgpWXQAArnDz.jpg

2024-06-28 04:39:54

Fox News Declares Biden Winner Of Tonight's Debate https://t.co/KWazph8lVx https://t.co/2COoEX2QYf https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRG1wj1WQAAcYy6.jpg

2024-06-27 11:02:16

Guy Currently Being Dumped Thrilled By Possibility Of Still Being Friends https://t.co/dhtcRT8IOL https://t.co/p19dPpwezR https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRBQtFBWgAEhbR4.jpg

2024-06-26 17:25:51

Which Bible Character Are You? Take The Quiz! https://t.co/IHOkXAYzFh https://t.co/xZmO0R0REh https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQ9PNYUWMAAgo23.jpg

2024-06-25 23:21:29

'Dad, Isn't Speeding A Sin?' Asks Little Jerk https://t.co/5uG7LY3lnX https://t.co/Rdekz71CTK https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQ8-DGRXwAA4HiG.jpg

2024-06-25 22:49:51

Experts Now Recommend Changing Your Gender Fluid Every 3 Months Or 3,000 TikTok Posts https://t.co/PJMfQMiZoo https://t.co/D5NC0U3NdE https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQ7oL_FXAAAy8Cj.jpg

2024-06-25 22:44:32

Ticketmaster Crashes After Psalty The Singing Songbook Announces Tour https://t.co/8Is8Yt900C https://t.co/fJEFSM8hRK https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQ7dQY1WgAAy7D7.jpg

2024-06-25 04:30:48

State Achieves Goal Of Having Every Road Under Construction At The Same Time https://t.co/horXBcV3vS https://t.co/JqPvvBvYoj https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQ4W1fsXAAAz-se.jpg

2024-06-25 04:25:32

12 Women Come Forward Alleging They Were Sexually Assaulted By Whoever Trump’s VP Pick Is https://t.co/lTtr4mNDMx

2024-06-25 04:20:10

Pedophile Jailed For Flashing Kids At Playground Kicking Himself For Not Doing It At Pride Parade Instead https://t.co/XoLk2GxhQi https://t.co/eFgbomGnKK https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQ4JGHrWEAAwID3.jpg

2024-06-25 03:53:41

The Babylon Bee Has Obtained Trump’s Short List Of Possible VP Picks https://t.co/eu1hblKcyW https://t.co/LOOHVCDmPQ https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQ3VjXEW4AAd5cX.jpg

2024-06-24 11:07:46

Local Teen Experiences Deep Solidarity With Persecuted Believers After Phone Battery Dies https://t.co/lu8tD98VTu https://t.co/RUo2KfO6CL https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQy7CNVWAAE2UHB.jpg

2024-06-24 11:02:29

9 Ways To Spot A Good Potential Future Spouse At Church https://t.co/jzTFntICe3 https://t.co/aF8LZjYlZr https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQyn1jQWkAANedr.jpg

2024-06-24 10:57:12

Walt Disney Posthumously Fired By Walt Disney Company For Being White Male https://t.co/ykIclLIv5D https://t.co/zvSYoX3chH https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQykDdkWAAA3aui.jpg

2024-06-24 10:51:56

'What Does OPS Stand For?' Wife Asks, Unaware She Has Just Doomed Herself To 75-Minute Primer On Advanced Baseball Statistics https://t.co/sU9SckLGiy https://t.co/2MjoUzD7sh https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQyV5sTWYAAUrmo.jpg

2024-06-24 10:46:40

'It's Just Basketball,' Shrugs Decapitated Caitlin Clark https://t.co/1eTETU2FWD https://t.co/0O9LNADOIv https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQyIkgOWMAALTJ3.jpg

2024-06-23 17:52:23

God Disappointed By Lack Of Eloquence In Five-Year-Old's Prayer https://t.co/lSHkbHrTRe https://t.co/zO9ca7e2oZ https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQxfYV7XUAAiQhi.jpg

2024-06-23 17:36:30

Scientists Torn On Whether To Blame Heat Wave On Climate Change, Trump, Or White Supremacy https://t.co/O0ERxvFyVA https://t.co/vTCGUzhxEq https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQw2NwMW8AAPygb.jpg

2024-06-23 17:31:11

Report: Go To Church You Heathen https://t.co/BfNDwzlkyb https://t.co/YeyqSupJAH https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQwodwNWYAALwjj.jpg

2024-06-23 03:35:22

'I Thought I Invited Comedians,' Says Confused Pope After Stephen Colbert Shows Up https://t.co/IYv5ZlNSQ0 https://t.co/3huzYet2gN https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQtoK4pW4AAsgHe.jpg

2024-06-23 03:19:33

9 Classic Star Wars Scenes Disney Is Editing To Add Pronouns https://t.co/5rSvaNRuTV https://t.co/qbuoIgD2aB https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQs-8RBXwAEsFwd.jpg

2024-06-23 03:09:00

Woman Stirs Just Long Enough To Click 'I’m Still Watching' On Netflix https://t.co/B3DNjS0vMJ https://t.co/FXEpD3BioR https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQsqVzQXEAA2f0f.jpg

2024-06-23 02:58:28

Ladies: Here Are 9 Easy Ways To Comfort Your Man When His Favorite Sports Team Loses https://t.co/dbRe3xpgTG

2024-06-23 02:53:12

10 Street Signs And Why They Are Homophobic https://t.co/P9b5tPPcy8 https://t.co/bOPUzOaI6Q https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQsV0wbWEAEQeZW.jpg

2024-06-22 12:52:09

Kamala Harris Receives Honorary Degree From Clown College https://t.co/pxgDwHhe9A https://t.co/3FJtXjP3Cq https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQo6CC4WwAAMIdR.jpg

2024-06-22 12:41:36

California Dad Warns Kid If He Doesn't Study Hard He'll End Up Homeless With Free Luxury Room And Vodka Shots https://t.co/HkajM4rzyU https://t.co/P72MuTAq4d https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQoelqaW8AAXIaH.jpg

2024-06-22 12:36:13

DOJ Opens New Tipline For Criminals To Report Whistleblowers https://t.co/ARN5JCngHl https://t.co/h3Q4f84Hy5 https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQoQ0bAW0AAz5hE.jpg

2024-06-21 22:30:31

White House Asks Migrants To Hold Off On Raping And Murdering Any More Americans Until After Election https://t.co/U5oZ3XVFrd https://t.co/0McxZCA0F7 https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQn1Z9-XkAAoiwY.jpg

2024-06-21 22:14:42

Democrats Warn If Porn Banned Young Men Will Learn To Lead And Contribute To Society https://t.co/x9el0qBy6r https://t.co/jtG7cW9pme https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQnM8yFXIAAvgJI.jpg

2024-06-21 22:09:25

10 Commandments Democrats Have Approved For Display In Public Schools https://t.co/X1ykDfKgjU https://t.co/qGfy2kiFuO https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQm60KhWcAAf_EB.jpg

2024-06-21 21:58:50

Nancy Pelosi Recommends Avoiding Pain At The Pump By Becoming A Millionaire Through Insider Trading https://t.co/1xI7jWRYlH https://t.co/Xq0mfXiqfG https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQmIgA7XsAAo059.jpg

2024-06-21 04:31:38

10 Million-Dollar Ideas For Inventions That Need To Be Crowdfunded ASAP https://t.co/IqoRfwkJAc https://t.co/nkinDlPZoB https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQjwdoEXYAAhHAU.jpg

2024-06-21 04:21:05

White House Dispatches Cast Of 'Queer Eye' To Negotiate Ceasefire With Hamas https://t.co/W8Wf2VPUUs https://t.co/2YrzkoJWWC https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQi5johWYAAaS_C.jpg

2024-06-21 04:15:49

Man Knows He Must Have Heard A Dave Matthews Band Song Sometime In His Life But Can't Place Where Or Why https://t.co/QLQsC1SEXz https://t.co/Z5aIzSVwEJ https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQir15NWQAAyjkv.jpg

2024-06-21 04:10:33

AOC Joins Hamas https://t.co/Rx9oNDFYYP https://t.co/nfvG3vXcys https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQieIsmWsAAG4ZR.jpg

2024-06-21 04:05:16

World’s Top Scientists Convene In Secret Lab To Develop The Perfect Drug Cocktail For Biden To Make It Through 90-Minute Debate https://t.co/fv2eNwWjCE https://t.co/V0A0MBe33l https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQiQXOYXwAAehma.jpg

2024-06-21 03:54:41

Tropical Storm Alberto Crosses Into Texas, Immediately Registered To Vote As A Democrat https://t.co/ybHCOZRY8S https://t.co/NnIJnRslG9 https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQh2VCbW0AAEWBS.jpg

2024-06-20 11:14:39

https://t.co/2szCRF8VnP https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQesH-5XkAEfpv_.jpg

2024-06-20 11:09:22

Chinese Military To Just Shout Wrong Pronouns At American Soldiers https://t.co/osbAj6MD50 https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1639018890494902272/pu/vid/1280x720/aKyRfjz6Ph3WTMQ0.mp4?tag=12

2024-06-04 20:48:00

Democrats Call For Removal Of Nelson Mandela Statue In D.C. After Learning He Was A Convicted Felon https://t.co/fNM3QxcE4m https://t.co/xksJlBDKhl https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GPPchExWwAIywc3.jpg

2024-05-13 19:51:39

College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking https://t.co/Q1LweBvEwr https://t.co/ocDMQPQg3w https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GNenULnXAAAmEXu.jpg

2024-05-01 08:25:46

'I Like Coldplay,' Man Says In Powerful Coming Out Speech https://t.co/MGUpEt8nOt https://t.co/vZ6sxzzsTH https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GMcRqUwWwAASdsb.jpg

2024-04-06 16:24:00

Judge Orders Trump To Stop Noticing That The People Trying To Put Him In Jail Are Democrats https://t.co/OHjYFujh4k https://t.co/ZxaQTz5PaM https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GKflwr8WoAAP9PA.jpg

2024-03-26 19:25:18

Man Goes To Heaven, Immediately Asks God To Replay Arguments With His Wife So He Can Prove He Was Right https://t.co/1YEj5BDS1i https://t.co/dLRqqxPAGt https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GJnluMSWQAAWnnF.jpg

2024-03-25 22:13:38

Kamala Warns Israel Not To Violate San Francisco City Council’s Ceasefire Decree https://t.co/Q6vLnCGSyp https://t.co/ZXgPv3ql2G https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GJjH_T4XYAALwpT.jpg