donni saphire

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

Public Key

npub1sq5nz6hkm5j2jfk5yp5jzpv6asjdad3mn90ngd70xnrsx2shn4zsv9x8ue

NIP-05 Address

donni_at_mastodon.social@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsgq2f3dtmd6f9fym2zq6fpqkdwcfx7kcaejhe5xl8nf3cr9gte63gprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0wdmksetjv5hxxmmdqy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyg4f43y

Publishing to

relay.noswhere.com

relay.mostr.pub

Author Public Key

npub1sq5nz6hkm5j2jfk5yp5jzpv6asjdad3mn90ngd70xnrsx2shn4zsv9x8ue

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Last Notes

2024-08-15 19:46:54

Hate to participate in the crushing grind of commerce, yet love to eat food

2024-08-02 20:01:20

You can take off your glasses to show you're surprised, but this doesn't work for pants

2024-07-21 04:54:12

If you personally attack me, I take it as a personal attack

2024-07-11 18:34:59

If you work from home with your back to the window, that is deranged to me. Face the window! See the squirrels!

2024-06-20 19:28:54

When will they finally invent a small elephant for the home

2024-05-24 03:26:47

I miss my old naive belief that most people are reasonable

2024-03-28 02:46:54

Even the sexiest person on Earth is ultimately a hollow skin tube stuffed with goo and organs

2024-03-14 22:12:43

Life is short. Buy a harmonica. Now lose that harmonica. Life is too short to be messing around with harmonicas

2024-03-13 20:21:54

I liked things better before everything got super evil

2024-02-20 03:51:53

Do what you love and you’ll never work a day for a few months, until it stops being fun and starts being work

2024-01-01 05:09:22

Might be a little premature to say this, but 2043 is going to be my year

2023-12-14 03:43:57

My imaginary friend says we're really more like acquaintances

2023-11-13 03:32:42

When will they invent a drug you can take that fixes other people

2023-10-01 03:07:39

Anyone want to hang out, get some snacks, maybe flee the country

2023-09-23 02:33:29

A skeleton is a weird little guy who lives inside of you

2023-09-22 02:40:06

Don’t forget to eat some pizza. It’s dangerous to let your pizza levels get too low

2023-09-20 19:47:45

Oh, you’re NOT being slowly crushed in the grinding gears of societal decay? Must be nice

2023-09-17 03:19:14

You have to learn to love yourself before you can learn other forms of magic

2023-09-06 20:15:03

The weather outside is perfect, but the weather on my couch is also perfect

2023-09-03 18:48:10

“Things will probably be normal again soon!” he thought for several years

2023-09-02 01:48:53

“I gotta stop looking at this, it’s pissing me off.” -Me when I see the world

2023-09-01 18:25:38

Stop trying to make me care about everything. I can only care about 4 to 6 things

2023-08-31 22:21:26

What a time to be alive and confused and scared and sleepy

2023-08-30 19:55:24

It’s important to always run out of 2 random things every day of your life

2023-08-24 19:17:24

Yes, I drink hot coffee in August and sweat angrily. There is no solution to this problem

2023-08-24 02:18:46

We need one day with absolutely no news stories, plus everyone gets a free sandwich

2023-08-23 19:41:38

Be like a cat. Hiss at strangers. Eat your own hair. Live your best life

2023-08-21 18:51:11

When you’re good at working, you get to do more work. The cruelest reward

2023-08-21 03:11:42

Take it easy on me, I’m a recovering baby

2023-08-20 20:48:08

Man is the only animal named Kevin

2023-08-20 03:46:43

Live your best life while also being highly prepared for 72 types of catastrophes

2023-08-19 18:11:25

If I could only take 5 books to a desert island, I'd probably just stay home

2023-08-18 21:14:08

Everything happens for a reason that is usually dumb and poorly thought out

2023-08-18 03:42:20

I hope I've made it clear that most of my advice here is intended for squirrels

2023-08-17 02:40:49

Someday we’ll look back on this time and laugh as we forage for clean water

2023-08-16 19:28:38

Once, many years ago, I was not tired. It was nice at first, but I quickly became too powerful

2023-08-16 03:24:10

If a tree falls in the forest, why does it hate me

2023-08-15 19:14:19

It’s cute how we all try so hard to pretend we’re not insane

2023-08-14 19:01:22

Enjoyed a nice breeze and forgot to freak out about society for almost 12 minutes

2023-08-14 03:06:15

Forgot to eat my essential oils today and yet I feel fine? Maybe these oils are NOT essential

2023-08-13 02:45:14

Restaurants should open at 1 AM for secret insomniac buffets

2023-08-12 02:50:02

Parties are cool, but have you ever tried sitting quietly in the grass

2023-08-11 02:25:07

If at first you don’t succeed, yes that is generally how it works

2023-08-10 18:37:00

Sure, I could grow as a person and learn from my mistakes, or I could eat an entire block of cheese

2023-08-10 01:56:32

Have you tried muttering angrily about it

2023-08-09 17:08:37

Nude on roller skates, I tear through the food court, mall security in hot pursuit, tears streaming down my face

2023-08-08 02:14:50

The problem with asking people what they think is they will tell you what they think

2023-08-07 02:59:07

I am good in a crisis and as a reward I get to experience many of them

2023-08-03 01:49:09

Sorry I’ve been weird forever, it’s probably due to everything

2023-08-02 01:38:45

Please do not gaze upon my works and despair! I worked really hard on them

2023-07-20 03:25:06

Animals are basically always camping

2023-06-10 03:25:45

Relax, you will find your place in the universe. It’s a little small, but there’s a dishwasher

2023-03-27 02:43:01

Either love me or leave me alone. Or pay attention to me sometimes. Buy me a weird hat. It’s all good

2023-03-26 17:29:40

CASHIER [after ringing me up]: Is there anything else?
ME [whispering]: There’s a whole world out there

2023-01-12 17:37:20

Too many people fall in love and not enough people get flung into space