Zeta Syanthis / is on Nostr

My goal as a writer: To wound you so deeply that you start to heal things you didn't even know were broken.

Occasionally NSFW.

Stories: https://www.reddit.com/r/zetasyanthis/
SoFurry: https://zetasyanthis.sofurry.com/
Blog: http://zetasyanthis.dreamwidth.org/

Last Notes

2024-01-27 20:03:16

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@npub1aka…zzz2 It me. :D

2024-01-04 23:35:20

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
I have a friend who can't stand to hear others eat to the point where she uses earplugs, so I feel this. :(

2023-12-31 05:07:25

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
If it has integrated graphics, it might be set to reserve 2GB for that. Can probably adjust that in BIOS.

2023-12-31 02:30:27

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
You can. You just have to set a boundary and hold it. <3
('just' is doing a lot of work here, as I understand that starting from a place with no boundaries is very difficult, as that's where I started too.)

2023-12-30 23:40:50

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
That's why I suggested an old free laptop, so you could still do it! If I hadn't /just/ recycled my old Thinkpad x220 like a month ago, I totally would have sent you it for the project. :)

2023-12-30 23:30:59

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
A basic web server on Linux can quite easily run on that little. The bigger RAM challenge is if there's a database, etc... And if you don't have enough, the system will try to use swap, which is going to be horrible for both speed and lifetime on cell phone storage (typically eMMC/SD).
The other challenge on a phone specifically is package support, as though ARM CPUs have pretty good support these days, cell phone chips aren't exactly... standard. The certainly don't use standard boot loaders, and you may have other hardware compatibility problems, since many phone CPU vendors don't upstream driver code into the Linux kernel.
(I'm a computer engineer who's worked (not extensively) with kernel drivers, and /I/ would use a laptop, but if you're up for the challenge, all power to you!)

2023-12-30 23:08:26

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
Old laptop would be much easier, as smartphones are a bit more complicated. Could probably get one from electronic recycling fairly easily, though!

2023-11-30 19:41:30

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@npub1vy9…7wtc There's a place called Zoup near Cincinnati (though I think it's a small chain) that has like 12 soups a day. Hands down one of my favorite places, especially during the winter!

2023-11-26 04:18:47

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
RE: the insurance, I'd encourage you to do a little research there. I've never heard of one that limits on a yearly basis, but it is true that healthcare in this country is pretty fucked.
And as far as taking care of your mom goes, I totally understand your concern and love for her, but please remember that if you totally collapse, she'll be in a much worse situation than if you take whatever measures you need to to protect yourself and then do what you can /after/ that for her. Taking care of yourself is actually directly taking care of her in this case.

2023-11-26 03:48:52

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
So I've been through a lot of what you have, and it is possible to come out the other side. I'm not going to lie and tell you that it's easy, but it is possible and worthwhile.
I was horribly broken with anxiety and depression too, and a not understanding family (abusive dad stuck in the 50s mentality, fox news mom who told me she 'wished she had died not knowing' when I came out as trans), so I know the spot you're in and how much it hurts. >.<
The exhaustion, terror, and paralysis you are feeling is anxiety-induced, and can be overcome with time and help. I'm guessing a therapist is outside your means at the moment, but I would highly recommend one if you have insurance and that'll cover it. If you can't do that right now, venting here and having folks respond and try to help is better than nothing, but depending where you're at you may need more serious help. (Source: I've been in therapy for the Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Complex PTSD since 2015 and also utterly collapsed about two years ago and spent 8 months in mental health facilities/hospitals, so I know a little bit about how this can go.)

2023-11-21 07:08:31

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@npub1vy9…7wtc
Speaking from experience, BCBS California insurance at least in my case did not cover this and I had to pay out of pocket. Cost was approximately $1500, plus something like $300/yr ongoing storage fees. (This varies based on how many samples or eggs you deposit.)
I will also note that that is pricing in the Bay Area in CA. Other regions of the country may be a bit lower.