Valerie Mars

Beginner’s mind, poet’s heart. Eyes to the stars. Visual artist & musician. Internet mom. she/her  #scifi #art #music - - - Privacy Flags: #NoArchive #NoIndex #NoSearch #NoBot

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npub1jk7q0umu7mqdj9l5hnsslhd8ez5rlyfzjgjpcsj3mxfz8dnywshqmetdmn

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ValerieMars_at_mas.to@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsft0q87d70dsxezl6tecg0mknu32pljy3fyfqugfgany3rkej8gtsprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0wdmksetjv5hxxmmdqyt8wumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnwdaehgu3wvfskueqvlh0ey

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relay.noswhere.com

relay.nostr.band

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Author Public Key

npub1jk7q0umu7mqdj9l5hnsslhd8ez5rlyfzjgjpcsj3mxfz8dnywshqmetdmn

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Last Notes

2023-09-20 16:40:55

*** THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!!! ***
Wake up, Neo. It’s almost time!
Be sure to join @npub1zc4…mc2z, @npub1gg8…439g and I for a very special MATRIX WATCH PARTY!
This free event begins Friday night Sept 22 at 6p/8c/9e.
Tilly will be doing LIVE Q&A on Discord during the event, discussing the #trans allegories of The Matrix films.
There’s already a vibrant community forming around the event on our Discord — don’t miss out!
Invite & info here —> discord.gg/kDaUnm3Ns
#MatrixWatchParty
https://media.mas.to/masto-public/media_attachments/files/111/098/453/017/426/057/original/7db34c69a9ff7061.png

2023-09-15 17:51:52

Hi, Masto! ‘Member me? 👉👈🥺
I’ve got a hormone levels question. I’m on injectable E (weekly subQ) and my mid-week level is 572 pg/mL. (Endo insists on testing midweek 🤷‍♀️)
Endo says this is too high/risky, wants to lower dose. I say “bah! I feel great and like what’s happening!” I had upped my dose slightly to stop feeling like unaliving myself and it worked.
Can anyone back me up? @npub1n5d…2090 @npub1dxg…lv39 perhaps?
Thanks in advance! 💖
#trans #transfemme #hrt

2023-09-09 01:23:56

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@npub19ys…64gr
Please do! The more the merrier!
@npub1gg8…439g @npub1zc4…mc2z

2023-09-08 21:24:46

So, umm…
*** SPECIAL EVENT NOTICE ***
@npub1gg8…439g and I have teamed up with the amazing @npub1zc4…mc2z to host a WATCH PARTY of the first Matrix film to celebrate the release of Tilly’s book “BEGIN TRANSMISSION: The trans allegories of The Matrix”!
Join us for this free event Friday night Sept 22 at 6p/8c/9e as we watch Neo, Trinity & Morpheus take down the cis binary.
Tilly will be doing a LIVE Q&A during the film! Don’t miss it!
Invite & info here —> https://discord.gg/kDaUnm3Ns
#trans
https://media.mas.to/masto-public/media_attachments/files/111/031/608/977/948/900/original/938d4a0e66c31437.png

2023-08-31 16:32:17

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@npub1gg8…439g Well, I had to mark the occasion properly 😉💖

2023-08-10 01:57:43

Y’all I think I need to take a little break from here for a while. I kinda feel like a hypocrite right now, and that’s not helping anyone.

2023-08-09 23:33:45

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@npub1gg8…439g Fact.

2023-08-09 23:24:37

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@npub1ghf…fz9q I’ve been working on that part (mental) for 2 1/2 years already.

2023-08-09 23:18:04

Sometimes I worry that transition isn’t going to be enough.

2023-08-09 22:07:14

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@npub1s5p…6qjf Voting absolutely matters. But I also believe in holding who we elect accountable. Do we agree on that?

2023-08-09 21:57:15

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@npub1s5p…6qjf Nor did I suggest it was. That’s quite a leap you took.

2023-08-09 21:10:23

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@npub1s5p…6qjf The question then becomes “what must we do to get them off their privileged asses and actually help?”

2023-08-09 19:09:18

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@npub1gg8…439g Oh no! I had no idea! Boosting…

2023-08-09 19:07:38

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@npub1s5p…6qjf Well, until they actually do something to stop those things, it doesn’t matter what they’re not doing.
As MLK said in his letter from a Birmingham jail, those who stand by are just as bad, maybe worse.

2023-08-09 16:09:55

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Tried to get up, pulled back the covers to do my morning stretches and immediately started crying. Today just feels like too much.

2023-08-09 16:07:45

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@npub1hzf…8nrj @npub1ccn…ly9q Aww… and lol
And it was a wolf whistle, not a catcall, sis… 😉

2023-08-09 15:43:16

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It’s nearly 11 and I’m still trying to find the motivation to get out of bed. 😞

2023-08-09 14:24:40

Woke up this mornin’,
Blues on my mind…
(harmonica solo)

2023-08-09 06:09:22

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@npub1gg8…439g “I got us a…. threesome…”
“Wow…” “Wow…”
“…yeah.” ☹️

2023-08-09 05:43:54

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@npub1w4m…sa57 🫂

2023-08-09 05:12:03

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@npub1kzd…eseq A girl can do anything she wants.

2023-08-09 05:10:49

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@npub1gg8…439g Prolly the same person who convinced dudes to buy those ridiculous Pandora charm bracelets for their wives 🤦‍♀️

2023-08-08 23:09:53

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@npub18lj…80hq I hated myself for most of my life, but I always loved “the idea of” my birthday because it was just for me.
Now I love myself and my life, and I celebrate the entire month long!

2023-08-08 19:28:33

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@npub1hyg…mem5 This is a no judgement zone… (raises eyebrow in judgement)

2023-08-08 19:16:04

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@npub1hyg…mem5 Crocs were virtually unknown until the production designer for the movie Idiocracy went looking for the dumbest looking shoes people in the future would wear, and that’s what they used!
This unfortunately gave Crocs the influx of cash they needed to grow their market, um… footprint. 🤦‍♀️

2023-08-08 19:06:06

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@npub1hyg…mem5 Humor is always appreciated, Alex.
Uggs are super cute. Crocs on the other hand…

2023-08-08 18:57:05

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@npub1gg8…439g Ya, this prolly needs to happen.

2023-08-08 18:42:37

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Well, it looks like I may have finally succeeded in updating my health insurance and medical records with my name and gender. Phew!

2023-08-08 18:39:20

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@npub1gg8…439g Well if my lead helps you or others avoid some of the spinning blades, it’s a bit more worth it. 💖

2023-08-08 18:11:21

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@npub1ccn…ly9q I definitely find Option A better and easier, because I love love, and being a disrespectful asshole is exhausting to everyone.

2023-08-08 18:07:47

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@npub1ccn…ly9q I’m a gotdamned overachiever! Bippity-boppity-bitch! ⚡️

2023-08-08 17:29:10

Bitches, I’m tired.
I’m tired of jumping through hoops like some fucking show dog just to be myself.
The hoops of updating my name & gender everywhere which is like running thru a gauntlet of knives.
The hoops of healthcare.
The hoops of family approval.
The hoops of women’s fashion & beauty standards.
The hoops of my own psychology.
The hoops of relearning sex & sexuality.
The hoops of dealing with men.
The hoops of being a political target.
Give a girl a damn break.
#trans

2023-08-08 17:03:31

It’s raining kitters ‘n’ doggos over here!

2023-08-08 15:57:26

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@npub18g3…3s5v it’s a felony to vandalize mailboxes, fyi

2023-08-08 06:51:48

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@npub1gg8…439g That’s a much more acceptable percentage 😉

2023-08-08 05:58:12

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@npub1gg8…439g This blows my mind. I was a Zutons fan way back to their first album but I somehow missed this lil nugget and had no idea Mick & Amy’s song was theirs! Now I love it even more!

2023-08-08 05:55:55

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@npub1gg8…439g Love you back, sis! I’m lucky to call you friend. 💖

2023-08-07 23:08:57

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@npub1e7a…sq82 I’m in AL. It can be tough in our backwards states.
Name alone is a simple matter of a court petition. Social security will accept court order for name, and your word for gender.
It really depends what state you were born in how hard it is to get gender marker changed on state ID. Most want an amended birth certificate from birth county.
This page may help you get started. Best of luck! 😊
https://transequality.org/documents/state/georgia

2023-08-07 22:42:17

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@npub1ccn…ly9q Grade A Certified Bastard 😡

2023-08-07 18:10:33

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@npub1hyg…mem5 Agreed!!!
My spouse is veggie, btw, if you ever wanna swap tips & recipes 😊

2023-08-07 17:44:23

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@npub1hyg…mem5 It requires regular heavy doses of denial. Tequila also works if available. Olé!

2023-08-07 15:44:51

The angry young man to blissful old woman pipeline.
#trans #TransJoy

2023-08-07 14:18:59

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@npub14d8…05dp What are you even talking about?

2023-08-07 13:51:34

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@npub1ccn…ly9q They’re fortunate to have an Oma like you to be not only a fierce protector, but a brilliant example. 🫂💖

2023-08-07 01:47:37

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@npub1g5y…4rxa Oh yeah. Been there.

2023-08-07 01:46:56

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@npub1gg8…439g That was hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣

2023-08-07 01:39:59

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@npub1gg8…439g A personality trait or symptom

2023-08-07 01:37:01

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@npub19qv…0tmd Oh, I can so relate to this, Jennifer! I also love to be helpful, and a project can be churning along fine until someone decides to dictate how I do my job to the point that I just have to divest all ownership of the task at hand and go into “robot mode” just to get through it, and all motivation is lost. It’s caused me to wall myself off from the creative client work I do so often that for a long time I lost all joy in it.

2023-08-07 00:31:50

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@npub1j7g…g3wt Feels. Hugs.

2023-08-07 00:31:20

Based on the video, “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is really about a schoolmistress who’s horny for her male students.
For shame, Ms. Tyler.
For. Shame.
https://youtu.be/lcOxhH8N3Bo

2023-08-07 00:17:44

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@npub1gg8…439g I was diagnosed as a preschooler but nothing was ever done about it. It’s only in the past few years I’ve truly come to understand how it impacts me.

2023-08-06 23:53:16

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@npub1gg8…439g I see what you did there

2023-08-06 23:32:07

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@npub1zxk…rfz4 Hi Barbie!

2023-08-06 23:31:44

My #ADHD peeps will relate.
TFW you’re performing a task that is already very stressful for you and your SO gripes hard at you about some aspect of how you’re doing it, so not only do you not get that feeling of completion & accomplishment when you’re done (not to mention the anticipated dopamine hit), you don’t get back any spoons, and burn extra spoons feeling shitty about the whole thing.
Yay.

2023-08-06 23:20:20

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@npub1gg8…439g Laura Jane better look over her shoulder!

2023-08-06 20:58:32

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@npub1gg8…439g
💖💖💖💖
👏👏👏👏

2023-08-06 14:08:21

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@npub1ccn…ly9q Ya look so great, babe! Love the confidence as well! 💖💖💖

2023-08-06 14:06:25

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@npub1h98…xu75 Yeoman Rand!

2023-08-06 14:01:50

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@npub1ccn…ly9q And all this lies in stark contrast to evangelicals, who use community as power in that they will let rotten people join, stay in and be endlessly “redeemed” just so their numbers continue to grow and their minions of bigots continue to “spread the gospel to every corner of the earth”.
For them community is ultimately about political power, which is how *they* wield power over others.

2023-08-06 08:13:18

I was supposed to go to sleep an hour ago but I’m very disobedient.

2023-08-06 08:00:20

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@npub1kzd…eseq Definitely amazing from where I sit. 😊💖

2023-08-06 07:55:03

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@npub1kzd…eseq **waves back at amazing Autumn**

2023-08-06 07:51:02

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@npub1gg8…439g Rest assured that I love you, my intrepid lil sister 💖💖💖

2023-08-06 07:08:43

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@npub1zaa…refl
Close, it’s The Simpsons 😉
@npub1gg8…439g

2023-08-06 06:54:29

Had a pretty good day/night, but that bitch Dysphoria was waiting when I got home. Gonna try to sleep it off.
G’night lovelies. 💖

2023-08-06 04:00:12

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@npub1wcv…gpxa I hope you’re okay. If you’re not, you’ve got my number. 🫂💖

2023-08-06 01:34:25

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@npub1pu3…qd8v This is the way. 💖

2023-08-06 00:16:21

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@npub13jc…9e66 Right??

2023-08-05 19:45:35

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@npub129f…2uy8 Both!! But the flowers are extra cute! 🌸🌺🌼

2023-08-05 18:44:14

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@npub1gg8…439g Well, it is only a few weeks ‘til Whacking Day!

2023-08-05 18:12:00

The other night I needed girl time and I got it. Now I just need to be around some awesome queers.
🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈💖

2023-08-05 18:09:53

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@npub1ccn…ly9q You got this, girl. Let that Terra goddess energy flow such that his bigoted ass gets swept up in it!
Big love, sis and if you need support, you know how to reach me!! 💖💖💖

2023-08-05 18:07:56

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@npub1hzf…8nrj That’s so sweet and beautiful, sis. I remember when I first met with my laser tech and explained that I’m trans. She was so affirming then and has been super supportive and sisterly to me every step of the way.
Sisterhood is truly special. 💖💖💖

2023-08-05 16:52:02

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@npub1zc4…mc2z 💖💖💖💖

2023-08-05 15:49:52

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@npub19ys…64gr So far the waiters are frustrating and the menu is overpriced 😉

2023-08-05 14:38:11

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@npub19ys…64gr And all of that is so I can move forward with procedures.

2023-08-05 14:37:26

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@npub19ys…64gr
Seriously, I think your interpretation is pretty spot on. I was finally changing my legal name and gender in the system so I can have it updated on my medical records and finally stop being deadnamed and misgendered by my healthcare providers.

2023-08-05 14:25:58

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@npub17l3…u7hk I’m wondering if this was influenced by me trying to update some health insurance info right before bedtime last night.
Or, y’know… typical Progesterone Dream Theater 🤪

2023-08-05 14:09:04

Dreamt last night that I kept getting bitten by snakes while sitting in a car on the phone trying to get a restaurant to refund an incorrect charge from my credit card. 🤷‍♀️😳🐍

2023-08-05 14:06:55

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@npub1ynl…90lh Wow, you look amazing!

2023-08-05 13:49:57

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@npub1ccn…ly9q
Terra! I knew I could count on you!
@npub1zaa…refl

2023-08-05 04:07:51

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@npub1zaa…refl Welp, they do say turnabout is fair play 🤷‍♀️

2023-08-05 04:07:10

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@npub1zaa…refl Welp, they do say turnabout is fair play 🤷‍♀️

2023-08-05 04:02:48

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@npub1gg8…439g @npub1zaa…refl This is why we need more trans masc representation 😉

2023-08-05 03:48:19

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@npub1zaa…refl Hmmm… if we’re both bottoms, who’s gonna top? #MastoAfterDark

2023-08-05 03:18:06

I’m here, I’m queer, are there appetizers?

2023-08-05 03:01:14

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@npub1n0f…ztml Congrats! It gets easier each time.

2023-08-05 02:05:00

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@npub1zaa…refl Luckily I have that power. You do, and it does. 🫂💖
Now about that first thought… 😉

2023-08-05 00:20:57

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@npub1kzd…eseq They just don’t know our power yet. We’ll show ‘em. 😉

2023-08-05 00:19:49

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@npub1zaa…refl I’m sorry, girl. Anything I can do?

2023-08-04 23:16:55

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@npub1hyg…mem5 I love it when abusers get royally fucked by their own abusive actions. I hope that dude lost his house.

2023-08-04 18:36:57

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@npub1gg8…439g I love it too. Never really knew what it was about, just always kinda adorned it with my own interpretations. You’re probably right though!

2023-08-04 14:18:58

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I poured my blood and sweat into making that album with madman determination. The only thing I ever worked harder at was… you guessed it.
And transition has already given me so much back.
5/🧵

2023-08-04 14:18:58

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Since I cracked, I found I didn’t really need to cling to making music like I did. Haven’t even touched a guitar in over a year. Mostly I practice singing with my new voice, and I’m finally getting comfortable with that. Maybe even pretty good? But I don’t really write songs anymore.
I don’t really need to. Not yet anyway. At some point there may be Valerie Mars music, but it will only be once I’ve settled into my new life well enough that I’m doing it for fun & art instead of desperation.
6/🧵

2023-08-04 14:18:58

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I guess you could say I’ve been my project for the past 2 1/2 years. But instead of sculpting sound waves, I’ve been the sculpture. My version of Venus, the one called Mars.
“Sitting in the stand of the sports arena
Waiting for the show to begin
Red lights, green lights, strawberry wine
A good friend of mine, follows the stars
Venus and Mars are alright tonight”
— Paul McCartney,
“Venus and Mars”
7/fin

2023-08-04 14:18:57

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Before I cracked, music was what I hid behind. I wrote songs, sang & played in bands, was a DJ, worked in a record store, was a recording artist.
Being a musician was my whole identity, what I clung to to rescue me from a shitty life. It often just drained my soul and my bank account as I desperately poured myself into it, getting little in return. The most I got from it was making a few special friends along the way, but looking back it was a huge distraction.
2/🧵

2023-08-04 14:18:57

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My last album was the closest I got to true expression, and looking back, to me it seems pretty eggy. It was definitely filled with pain, such that my friends asked if I was okay.
My egg cracked about 6 months after it came out, but I was well on my way before then. Most of those songs were written a year or two earlier, some even longer. (I was already working on its follow up when I cracked, and that album was, frankly, gay as hell.)
4/🧵

2023-08-04 14:18:57

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I hid there because I couldn’t face myself. Couldn’t deal with all my pain and confusion. Music was cathartic, but even as a songwriter I could never dig deep enough to get to the heart of the problem. So I wrote songs that were mostly veiled metaphor, even from myself.
I believe my lack of true authenticity was detectable on some level by my audience and while I had devoted fans, I could never build anything substantial.
3/🧵

2023-08-04 14:18:56

My brain has been working overtime, I’ve written 3 essays in 2 days. Strap yourself in, or on… whatever 🤷‍♀️
- - - -
RETURN ON INVESTMENT
or, SISYPHUS vs VENUS
Last night I realized that my transition took about as long as it would take former me to write and produce an album of music, but transition has already given me more than a lifetime of making music ever did.
1/🧵
#trans #transition #TransJoy

2023-08-04 13:02:49

Y’all, I had such a nice night out with friends and new acquaintances that I went to sleep smiling and in awe that this life is actually possible and wonderfully mine!
I could not have imagined this 2 1/2 years ago…
#trans #TransJoy