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nprofile1qqsy87gg8cfgyr8dmsryfk0e83xz37rjn8yjt9mvfv8myzrczrf0zcgpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43qlwtk0e

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Last Notes

2025-05-31 21:28:57

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@nprofile…s3zd frankly the timeline is not as much as a rollercoaster as my life is, but its ok, its a good one (I am not as retarded as I seem[despite the fact that I do have down syndrome])

2025-05-31 21:14:18

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@nprofile…k0gl we're bringing shotgun weddings to canada

2025-05-31 06:45:16

Life sure comes at you fast

2025-05-20 00:33:20

@nprofile…5y84 We miss you and love you, me especially. The boys were discussing "Saya no Futa" and "Futawa Shoujo" in the gc and I really could have used your backup

2025-04-03 19:25:47

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@nprofile…k0gl Very well, eat bad food.

2025-04-03 19:25:00

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@nprofile…hpkt @nprofile…x4fw eboys make do

2025-04-03 05:13:45

One thing you'll notice in religion/metaphysics/philowhatever is that there's a lot of terms and metaphors and explanations that are both entirely contradictory and yet pointing to the same "thing." We can say for example that form arises from function. We can say that abstracta/phenomena (same thing) arise from emptiness. We can say that all "things" are "illusory" and their true nature is "emptiness." We can say that all something comes from nothing. All something is nothing, and yet, only nothing is nothing and something is something. And yet we can say all things arise from lord Brahman, or God. We can say one becomes two becomes three despite neither one or two or three existing, although they also do not-not-exist. We can say "Do not worship nothingness!" while also saying all things are empty. We can say "Do not worship nothingness!" and mean "Do not worship form." We can say "Latin is an empty language, devoid of soul" and mean "Latin is a language of form, devoid of emptiness."
This is because there is a point at which name, and shape rotation begin to break down. Preceding that is pure differentiation, the lowest level of abstraction. This is the meaning of the big bang — the "origin point" of the entire universe is "This is not this." This is why Daoists focus on the Dao, and why they say "One became two became three," a metaphor for differentiation. This is the meaning of dependent origination, all "things" exist in "relation" to all other "things." This is the nature of time and space which are both phenomenological/abstractly real, and not real at all because every "thing" is both spatial and chronological and not spatial and not chronological and allspatial and allchronological.
And "below" that is nothing or everything. Real or fake. Emptiness or fullness. Light or dark. White or black. Self or no-self. It is both all of those things and none of those things. It is everywhere at all times in everything and above and below and left and right and in and out of everything. It is and is not. It is nature and natureless. It is all of those things, every combination of those things, and none of those things. We can only name it, so we call it emptiness, consciousness, experience, or God.
Religion is the practice of understanding abstracta/phenomena through consciousness. Science is the practice of understanding consciousness through abstracta/phenomena. If science were to map all abstracta and phenomena in the known universe (a terrifying prospect, I know), it would, at once, immediately "zero out," and all that would be known to exist is that which neither exists nor does not exist, consciousness, soul, emptiness. This is the prophecy of A.I. doomsday cultists and classic accelerationists. This is what is meant when it is said "all roads lead to God," especially the road that runs directly away from God.
This understanding of abstracta/phenomena is "hard coded" into the human brain, and everything else in the universe, because the human brain arose through the same process of differentiation that all other things rose from. If one sees the world purely through abstracta/phenomena, they are unconscious and unreal, yet they call that brain the conscious mind and insist it is the only thing that is real. This is why everything is "Dao," and yet something can be out of line with the Dao, ungrounded in emptiness, unconscious. This is why everything is referring to the same truth but why some things are much more truthful than others. This is why you can sink or rise into being conscious, why you can be free or unfree.
This is the meta-understanding that all knowledge and all living and all practice must be grounded in. This is how a child first sees the world and constructs the still fresh psyche, a long series of this is not this. This is how you get good at any skill, or learn any language, or understand literally anything. By recognising, abiding by, and being empty, by being conscious. Once you know this you start to understand the similarities in different ideas and stories, the patterns underlying all myths and practices, you see the beating soul in a good poem and the lack which outlines the beating soul in a scientific document. This is why reality is inherently paradoxical, yet not a paradox at all. Logic and paradox is abstracta, and reality is noumena. This is the truth of the universe. Have fun with it. Eat good food and have good sex. If you wanna have a weird day overdose on uppers and meditate on this post.

2025-03-30 18:13:43

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@nprofile…5f97 It's true it's true but I have a very particular brain. I only know 3 people who I feel normal around

2025-03-30 18:08:08

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@nprofile…5f97 I know it's so hard being normal idk like im popular and stuff but its just such an annoying drain

2025-03-30 18:05:47

I notice I start to get a lot of depression if i talk too much to people that I have to hide all my intrusive thoughts from which is where shitposting on fedi comes in as a sort of pressure valve to keep me from becoming psychotic

2025-03-23 20:31:50

I am quite fond of salami

2025-03-20 23:54:59

Not to talk like a zoomer but being a zoomer is so hard everyone your age has attachment issues and will randomly stop talking to you cuz they're idk afraid or something

2025-03-16 21:18:45

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@nprofile…t7vk @nprofile…cqa5 @nprofile…hpkt NARUTO THE JUNGIAN MASTERPIECE

2025-03-16 21:18:33

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@nprofile…t7vk @nprofile…cqa5 @nprofile…hpkt I think I like Naruto more
https://cawfee.club/media/73/7e/db/737edbdeb6f770bfbc231cec47f6730d2cf83634cba678701c8cb5cb95d75833.webp

2025-03-16 21:17:46

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@nprofile…t7vk @nprofile…cqa5 @nprofile…hpkt It's very cute but it has an infuriating forced drama love triangle to torture me ....

2025-03-16 21:15:35

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@nprofile…t7vk @nprofile…cqa5 @nprofile…hpkt One time I showed Ao Haru Ride to my deceased husband Leaf Lord and he was like "This is too powerful... the normies must not be aware of this manga.... the dangers of the kali yuga........"

2025-03-16 21:13:05

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@nprofile…t7vk @nprofile…cqa5 @nprofile…hpkt Yeah? Well I read all 13 volumes of Ao Haru Ride twice in two days!!!!!!!

2025-03-16 21:09:35

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@nprofile…cqa5 @nprofile…t7vk @nprofile…hpkt I watched four episodes of the og dragonball at my friends house those guys are pretty strong for being a foot tall

2025-03-16 20:33:16

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@nprofile…t7vk I practiced in the hyperbolic time chamber (Imagining the several paragraph long descriptions of dresses in the Wheel of Time)

2025-03-16 20:20:43

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@nprofile…t7vk 1. I like to imagine it in mist with little droplets of water going down it too

2025-03-08 16:55:40

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@nprofile…hpkt @nprofile…k0gl What collection? I'm curious now!

2025-03-08 16:50:11

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@nprofile…k0gl Teehee doing a little time traveling back to childhood it's like a fantasy book

2025-03-08 04:01:59

ptsd has been kicking my ass the last few weeks

2025-03-07 02:12:28

Sometimes people tell me "I wish you'd watch/play/read x just so I could hear your opinion on it," which feels like the fateful outcome of being forced to learn critical art theory at like four years old by my parents

2025-02-22 02:45:58

I had a very bad day I need some grump music

2025-02-22 02:15:56

I don’t really get gender war stuff. As far as I’m concerned women and men are both perfect

2025-02-18 20:30:30

https://youtu.be/EioKwG2dO1E?si=TMQnUsIsxBp3GQvX

2025-02-18 19:28:47

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@nprofile…k0gl Nuh uh nuh uh nuh uh me and From Soft broke up after they put out an open world game

2025-02-18 19:14:57

I finished SMT and saved the world. Time to return to not playing any video games
https://cawfee.club/media/c6/53/49/c65349a0c74b6b4bc6894b918cfe21855077af2e930ba4e475ac9bed6ac5da22.webp

2025-02-09 20:11:26

New light novel: I Am An Innocent White Girl Transported Into a Federated Network and My Racist Trad Cath Administrator Just Linked Me Gay Porn!!!!!!!!

2025-02-09 03:03:41

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@nprofile…3j8n @nprofile…hpkt Also tbh I think the focused aspect of it isn't as fun. I like that I get to work out my entire body at once when I'm doing actual labour, feels more wholesome somehow

2025-02-09 03:02:42

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@nprofile…3j8n @nprofile…hpkt It just feels sort of empty to work hard when I'm not getting anywhere or doing anything

2025-02-09 02:57:02

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@nprofile…hpkt It is mentally painful for me compared to physical labour

2025-02-09 02:40:09

I am so sick of working out. I hate working out. Give me a mountain to climb or a hole to dig AHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK WINTER

2025-02-07 23:46:14

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@nprofile…hpkt Never meet your heroes I suppose :blobsob:

2025-02-07 23:44:45

My fav author stalked my goodreads and told me I have impeccable taste and did some roleplay /bows humbly thing and told me how cool I am and then bitched that I gave one of his books 3/5 stars and I'm still fucked up over it. What do I even say to that? Why is my favourite author groveling in my dms and bitching about my goodreads reviews?? Normally people have parasocial relationships with their fav author but my fav author has a parasocial relationship WITH ME

2025-01-20 23:36:21

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@nprofile…k0gl Good, been working hard translating and editing. Feels amazing to have a job I enjoy and to be starting a career. My pissing has been adequate I would say. How have you been king Benis?

2025-01-20 23:29:05

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@nprofile…k0gl Ehhh ehhh???? Ecchi ecchi hentai baka !!!!!!

2025-01-02 02:33:31

Can any transgender or transgender brained (computer expert) people explain to me how ro verify element on ios after updating it?

2025-01-01 05:36:25

https://youtu.be/H6wmm8XXWd4?si=9zWQcu69I_5ZUuPL Listen to the good shit goodnight

2025-01-01 03:12:31

https://cawfee.club/media/466f51ed2d7fc96070c9d8e2b4a4f2ae6a79dc88e5e023f4c32f28b9babf0304.jpeg

2024-12-31 18:58:34

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@nprofile…t7vk Ah is the daimon supposed to be the higher self?

2024-12-31 18:55:02

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@nprofile…t7vk Fascinating (i have no ifea what ur talking about)

2024-12-31 18:51:12

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Just laugh at them

2024-12-31 18:48:49

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@nprofile…t7vk Or hers

2024-12-31 18:48:43

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@nprofile…t7vk Yeah and then beat his ass

2024-12-31 18:48:26

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@nprofile…8v9a Anything that gets you to have “lightness of heart”

2024-12-31 18:47:00

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@nprofile…gfl4 Probably have but the cult of literalism makes it impossible to know what demons are intuitively since they’re really just like psychic flora and fauna basically

2024-12-31 18:43:41

I keep trying to teach people the one quick trick to demon immunity and they NEVER listen what the hell

2024-12-31 18:40:03

I am too ill to party today so I am inviting my mother over to watch movies

2024-12-31 18:38:45

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@nprofile…w4fy Nothing personally to me. It’s just sad watching people I love make the same mistakes forever, and being unable to help!

2024-12-31 18:35:28

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@nprofile…k0gl @nprofile…lq09 Are we bullying Grips into getting swole????

2024-12-31 18:31:25

Often I have zero expectations of people and they still disappoint me

2024-12-31 04:40:03

I am a barbarian at heart and I always will be. The Romeoid is my natural enemy and I must root out the eternal Roman wherever it appears as hard as I can

2024-12-31 03:39:11

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@nprofile…ja0h This is all made up btw

2024-12-31 03:38:17

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@nprofile…5f97 Idk how to say this but that's the most beautiful and romantic thing anyone has ever said to me thank you

2024-12-31 01:32:21

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@nprofile…5f97 https://kyl.neocities.org/books/%5BSOC%20BER%5D%20the%20unsettling%20of%20america.pdf read it

2024-12-30 21:13:31

read The Unsettling of America or I’ll kill you
https://cawfee.club/media/19fcb6eb7515b108a17040e6277098811ba913d09a7a6fa1b0df9b839f026c2b.jpeg

2024-12-29 16:56:01

I should make an actually good translation of the Dao De Jing

2024-12-29 16:01:56

Had a dream where me and fedi user bot became best friends and played Halo 3 together

2024-12-20 23:22:38

Feeling kinda billions lately

2024-12-20 05:25:04

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@nprofile…xfx6 @nprofile…azjd How is saying I die melodramatic? Lol. Immortality is not here yet

2024-12-20 04:43:49

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@nprofile…k0gl Different wanting. Hard to explain. Back of head vs front of head.

2024-12-20 04:41:54

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@nprofile…azjd I die in every road. In fact I am already dead

2024-12-20 04:14:58

Hate people who want things. Wanting is nothing. It’s meaningless. Stawp it

2024-12-19 03:32:30

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@nprofile…68jk TOTAL CHINK VICTORY 🔥🔥🔥

2024-12-15 06:44:02

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@nprofile…cf8e Bless them. I’ve come a long way but I’ll probably be insecure until I’m married for ten years lmao

2024-12-15 06:18:25

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@nprofile…cf8e Nuns not being bothered make sense buy yeah it’s pretty impossible to imagine a woman in society not being insecure about her appearance. That’s our entire existence mostly, we’re meat competing with photoshopped plastic

2024-12-15 06:13:03

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@nprofile…xfx6 I should become a politician

2024-12-15 06:12:45

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@nprofile…z5q5 That makes sense

2024-12-15 06:11:39

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@nprofile…xfx6 Lololol true

2024-12-15 06:08:21

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@nprofile…3cxa It’s all projection yeah but I’m sure it’s fun while it lasts

2024-12-15 06:06:59

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@nprofile…3cxa Narcissism is insecurity

2024-12-15 06:05:58

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@nprofile…3cxa PERHAPS

2024-12-15 06:05:49

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@nprofile…3cxa Have you ever met one lol

2024-12-15 06:04:34

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Pre menopause ofc

2024-12-15 06:04:27

Is there any woman on Earth that isn’t extremely insecure about their appearance honest question

2024-12-14 23:51:58

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@nprofile…96ll Your car could probably be used by the fbi to assassinate someone

2024-12-11 17:52:21

Everyone likes joining fanclubs but would you all join my Nietzsche hater club

2024-12-11 00:13:00

Straight women my age always play flirt super hard and it always makes me feel strange. Like stop playfully calling me your wife and kissing me when you literally have a boyfriend omg

2024-12-06 02:57:49

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@nprofile…4w83 It's winter I need a toque or I die

2024-12-06 02:52:58

My head hurts a lot I think my toque is too tight

2024-12-05 23:48:22

Fedi is the only place on the internet where I can be anti drug and people agree with me which makes it extremely important for my mental health

2024-12-05 20:29:33

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@nprofile…4w83 Yis, I know it's hotly debated. It is interesting how different Buddhism is described by a native Sanskrit speaker who was raised in it compared to say, lit autists

2024-12-05 20:22:36

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@nprofile…grcp It's no Daoism but it's pretty high iq for sure

2024-12-05 20:14:08

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@nprofile…4w83 I'm friends with a Buddhist religious studies professor at Yale and she was teaching me allegedly pre-sectarian Buddhism, then taught me about Theravada and Mahayana

2024-12-05 19:43:15

I have been enlightened about Buddhism and i now realise the truth, it's pretty fucking cool

2024-12-04 02:01:26

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@nprofile…4w83 I consider this possibility often

2024-12-04 01:16:56

I feel like people on fedi must all have souls or something. If I talked about love transcending time and space anywhere else I'd get told I'm insane instead of having a bunch of people say "same"

2024-12-03 21:36:01

Whenever I'm going to fall really in love with someone in the future I notice it within one or two conversations with them. I get this sudden realisation that feels like it comes from outside time and space and I go "Ah, it's going to be them..." Then I expect it to go on forever, but it doesn't. Maybe third time will be the charm.

2024-12-03 19:19:10

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@nprofile…9xz0 @nprofile…xfx6 Where'd you visit?

2024-12-03 18:50:51

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@nprofile…xfx6 Better economy than everywhere except America, and is not retarded unlike America. Lots of different unique pockets of localised culture. National culture of neutrality and polite tolerance while respecting privacy. It's just a country where I feel like I can be an individual, but not in an American way where you're forced to put on a persona and sell yourself. And ofc, it's full of space and nature.

2024-12-03 18:44:12

I actually love Canada

2024-12-03 02:37:18

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@nprofile…msu3 YA fight me

2024-12-03 02:20:01

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@nprofile…msu3 straight actually!

2024-12-01 17:35:09

What side do you fall on
https://cawfee.club/media/8fb5ee9d64bb6a479e2c5ea6113775a0892af19f65fa80295fea04ba8426f63a.jpg

2024-12-01 01:25:08

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@nprofile…4w83 @nprofile…k0gl I think Daoism has a lot of answers, particularly when viewed in the light of Chinese cosmology and folk religion. Later Daoist texts and ones that predate the DDJ explain a lot of concepts in the DDJ through Qi and Heaven and Earth and blah blah blah. Daoist practices themselves are explained in more detail in Zhuangzi but they are a bit ambiguous, the explanations aren't very technical. As for what a Daoist should look like and how they should carry themselves, that's explored a lot too through examples and parables and the universally implied image of the relaxed primitivist sage. However Daoism also undermines all these things by emphasising that the Dao is ultimately beyond knowledge. A good comparison might be something like antinomianism (could be wrong, im not an expert). The sages do give answers, but ultimately the Dao is above everything else and since you'll know the Dao when you find it, it's better to follow it than to follow the answers that fallible humans give.

2024-11-30 22:44:45

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@nprofile…k0gl @nprofile…4w83 Yes but not for fart sniffing, it's not by a German, Daoism believes that the Dao is beyond words so it tries to express it through paradoxes and strange parables

2024-11-30 22:38:27

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@nprofile…4w83 This is definitely true in a lot of ways, Ancient Chinese is a super ambiguous language, in a sort of primitive caveman way. A lot of the words are full of strange mixed symbolism that blends into each other. The first passage of the DDJ for example would literally be something like "Way that is wayed goes against regular way," which frankly makes no fucking sense on its own and requires a lot of effortful interpretation and a lot of context from the rest of the work and surrounding works to make sense. There's also a lot of commentary on it throughout the centuries, but it's impossible to know how much of this commentary and how much of our modern understanding is a tradition we project on an ambiguous text and how much of it is an accurate reading.

2024-11-30 20:25:58

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@nprofile…4w83 Translation of the ddj is really hard because a lot of lines have 3 or 4 meanings but you can only render one in English, which is why I wanna do a commentary too