Toni :neodog_flag_pan: 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈 / is on Nostr

I'm
* intersex (xxy, unconfirmed because $$)
* bigender
* demi-romantic
* pan + grey ace
* ambiamorous
* once and maybe future aspiring writer
* tech and programming is an old interest but I'm not current
* anCom
* neurospicy (mainly Autistic & adhd)
* plural (median)
* white
* atheist
* 52
* disabled
* pfp is a picrew of a brown haired, brown eyed puppy girl wearing a pink tank top under a red plaid shirt and a chain necklace. There is a
square pink border with sparkles and a white background.
* shamelessly stealing this format from https://fedi.catboy.agency/@porcelainkitty who is really cool

Pronouns: She/He (currently)
Gender: Fluid, see pronouns

Last Notes

2024-07-08 03:24:32

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gay emoji squad activate!
:blobbee_kisser: :neobread_kisser: :neocat_floof_kisser: :neocat_kisser: :neocat_sillycat_kisser: :neocube_boykisser: :neodog_kisser: :neofox_floof_kisser: :neofox_kisser: :neopossum_kisser: :neorat_boykisser:

2024-06-24 15:45:31

The thing about realizing you're not cis later in life is that consciously or not **you've spent decades convincing yourself you are**
Depending on how you convinced yourself it can be very hard to sort the lies you told yourself (and/or dissociative and other mental tricks your brain used to hide it) from your actual feelings. Before you can truly figure out who you are you have to unlearn all that and start fresh.
Most of us try to move in the right direction and correct course on the way, but that can be private mental work as well as public statements and life adjustments. Everyone's process is their own.

2024-06-23 15:53:09

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I'm going to hope "the main problem of homelessness (me having to look at them)" is dripping with sarcasm but I ran a convenience store in the richest city in my state so.... I'm not as certain as I want to be that it is.

2024-06-19 21:59:29

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Honestly I'm not in a position to explore freely irl but I just try to remember that...
1) euphoria tells you what you are
2) dysphoria tells you what you're not
3) either can be very mild and it's okay if you don't feel them (or aren't aware of them) but
4) often as you become more aware of who you want to be / are the more you realize euphoria and dysphoria are more common than you thought but your brain didn't have the tools it needed to understand.

2024-06-19 21:41:07

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I know that feeling. 🫂
I'm lucky to have found communities that accept me where I am as I waffle between various points between M & F trying to find my own balance.
(Actually starting to think a single permanent balance doesn't exist and my gender tends to wander a bit, though always quite femme)

2024-06-19 21:25:05

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I'll say I do like being perceived as feminine (ma'am etc) but androgyny feels pretty great too. It's mannish things that tend to bother me. In fact, my first euphoria from being gendered as non man was from a "they."