Becoming B

I am a husband, father, homeschooler, native plant nursery owner, rural route postal carrier, bitcoiner, and many other things.

Public Key

npub1ayst43j8xed6kteh99xqmqq6rjylyzwwpfcf34sk8elfusewmylqflw9h4

NIP-57 Address

brownseahorse8@primal.net

Profile Code

nprofile1qqswjg96cernvkat9umjjnqdsqdpez0jp88q5uyc6ctrul57gvhdj0s05f839

Author Public Key

npub1ayst43j8xed6kteh99xqmqq6rjylyzwwpfcf34sk8elfusewmylqflw9h4

Show more details

Last Notes

2025-03-06 11:48:20

#Bitcoin
https://m.primal.net/PVhe.jpg

2025-02-09 18:16:10

Sunday Seven AM. A day off from delivering mail. I'm in front of the fire while the rest of the family sleeps. Once and awhile I'll see a cat scurry by. We've got 4 of them living with us for the time being.
This morning Skippy curled up next to my head in bed. I was mostly awake worrying about this or that hoping to get back to sleep. So I decided to lay my head on him and listen to him pur. Calming, but I couldn't get back to sleep.
So I got up, took my cold shower, meditated, and here I am in front of the fire. All is well. Thankful for this fire on this 10 below morning.
I delivered mail mostly on unplowed roads yesterday. Not the first time. I had the old jeep in 4 wheel drive for the whole route. I delivered to every box and house. We were told to deliver at our own discretion. Any roads we didn't think we could travel or boxes we couldn't get to we could pass up. I usually do the opposite and see if I can get it all done accurately. I like the challenge. Plus, not that many people are out. I kind of feel like I have the area to myself. So I get to 4 wheel through snow and get paid for it. It could be worse.
I did take a nap on the route. When I get tired I will pull over in a safe location, set my smartphone timer for 4 minutes, and take a power nap. Like clockwork I can fall asleep in less then 30 seconds. Three and half minutes later the timer goes off, I wake up, hit end lunch on my scanner, and I'm refreshed.
I started experimenting with this after listening to an ultra marathoner on the Joe Rogan show. They told how during a 100 mile race they would periodically find a spot to lay down, sleep for 1 minute, reset their body, get up, and continue running. So I worked that into my mail delivery method. I average 4 to 6 hours of sleep a night. So those power naps get me through the day.
Yesterday was different though. My timer never went off. When I woke up I saw white woods and road. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and crashed, or maybe was dead. Then I looked at my phone and it was at 13 minutes and counting. I knew then what happened. I set my stopwatch instead of my timer. Can't make that mistake again. We're only allowed a half hour of lunch a day.
One time, while delivering out on the Lac Courte Oreilles Reservation, I woke up with a knock on the window. Here it was a guy that lived up the road and was passing by. He saw me sitting there with my head back, eyes closed, and mouth hanging open. He was checking to see if I was dead. I just laughed when he told me that. I should've been more embarrassed, but I wasn't. I felt less judged delivering in Indian Country. I miss delivering out there. If this culture ever totally collapses I might just try to go live out there.
Put me back in the 19th century and I would've been one of the Europeans that joined the Indians. What did Benjamin Franklin say?
"No European who has tasted Savage life can afterwards bear to live in our societies.”
I hope you have a great day!
Fire 128
2.9.25
https://m.primal.net/OYKn.jpg

2025-02-08 12:30:31

Bitcoin allows wage workers to save and plan for the future. It has no issuer. No third part risk. It's going to work this morning knowing I can buy Bitcoin. In some ways it's giving me a new lease on life.
2.8.25
#Bitcoin

2025-02-08 12:27:03

5:45 AM. There's a few inches of fresh snow on the deck. That's the way it looks from in here anyway. It's supposed to snow all day. They're calling for up to 8 inches.
I will leave for the mail trail early. It's less stressful when I can pull it off. The problem is words start flowing and it's hard to shut if off.
I look forward to a day off tomorrow. I also look forward to seeing the people I work with this morning. I could tell you about some of them, but I'm running out of time.
Screw it. I have a few minutes. I talked to a carrier yesterday that grew up near me. Guessing she's in her 60's. The house she grew up in went up for sale recently. I deliver mail to it. Her Dad was born in it and wanted to die in it. Guessing he was born sometime in the 40's. But he and his wife moved off the farm and in with one of his sons. So he didn't quite meet his goal. My oldest son is thinking about buying the place. So that's interesting.
I learned that in a short conversation while getting ready to pack my mail into my jeep yesterday. Real people real stories. Soul stories. Stories of the place I live in. Powerful. There's more to a mail route than meets the eye when you listen more than talk.
Ok. I promised myself I would leave earlier. I'm sticking to it. I hope you have a great day!
Fire 127
2.8.25

2025-02-07 12:30:59

5:45 AM. The thermometer reads 4. The second armload of wood is burning hot. I'm on my 5th day of work. One more to go and it's a day off. Then it's back to work Monday. One day isn't enough, especially if I will be spending it clearing snow out of our driveway.
It feels like I'm at the end of something. I can't put my finger on it. Might be seasonal. Could be the work week coming to an end. Maybe it's the job.
There's a terror in the paychecks ending, so I keep going for my own and family's well being.
I never planned on making a career out of this. Yet I don't know how long the Post Office will be around in its current form. More and more people I talk to mention privatization. We deliver a lot of business bulk mail and packages. First class letters it seems less and less. So we'll see.
Collectively we keep investing in technology, speed, and efficiency. So more and more our humanness seems to be less of a factor.
In the end I'm hoping my love for the land and the mystery it provides will carry me through whatever a change is coming. And it might be nothing. Still, though, it seems the depth of my humaness is equal to the depth of the relationship I have with the land. And that's been neglected with 6 day a week mail delivery since the middle of 2023. And it's nothing a few days off or a weeks vacation can remedy. It has to do with lifestyle. Patterns. Habits. A challenge in this modern world we live in.
I'm off to deliver mail. I hope you have a great day!
Fire 126
2.7.25
https://m.primal.net/OUet.jpg

2025-02-06 12:34:15

Fresh snow on the deck this morning. Maybe two inches. It started falling just after dark last night. I watched it fall through the porch light from the living room. At times it fell hard and fast making me nervous for the day to come.
Monday morning I drove to work in the dark in a snowstorm. I couldn't see well. The road was a white mat. No lines, lanes, or edge.
The steering has play in my jeep. When I turn it to the left or right it doesn't respond for awhile. There were times I found myself in the other lane of traffic until I discovered I was. Tight steering would've been nice. Thank goodness it was just County E. Which runs straight east and west with little traffic where I drive it.
So today I'm going to get an earlier start with the hope the plows have been out.
I have snow to sweep off my jeep and a fire to close down.
I hope you have a great day.
Fire 125
2.6.25
https://m.primal.net/OSzx.jpg

2025-02-06 12:30:26

I deliver mail for a wage today. It's easier to get up and go knowing some of that wage will be Bitcoin by the end of the day.
#Bitcoin

2025-02-05 14:41:11

Someday, they say, the world will be priced in Bitcoin. With the way things are going I think it will be.
#Bitcoin
https://m.primal.net/ORdK.jpg

2025-02-05 12:36:06

6 AM. It's 0 out there. This is morning fire #124. Off to the mail trail in a half hour. I'll be heading out to start The Ford in 15 minutes. Hopefully it'll start. It started yesterday morning at single digits below zero. Never know though. Mystery of machines.
I went quote hunting this morning. I went with Rumi.
"But don’t be satisfied with stories, how things
have gone with others. Unfold
your own myth, without complicated explanation,
so everyone will understand the passage,
We have opened you."
My own myth today is dad delivering mail while mom stays home with children in a world working against this. The world wants mom and dad in the economy and the children in school.
The Bitcoin community tells me this is because of fiat currency. The money we work for doesn't buy as much as it used to. So both parents have to work now to make ends meet. When my grandparents came of age in the late 4O's and early 50's they tell me this wasn't the case. A family could get by on a single income.
I'm out of time. This was fun. Wish I had another hour at least. I like writing in myth. Part of who we are is the stories we tell ourselves.
Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day!
2.5.25
#Bitcoin
https://m.primal.net/OHwk.jpg

2025-02-04 12:09:03

Bitcoin has been going strong for 16 years. Scams don't last 16 years.
#Bitcoin

2025-02-04 12:07:17

It seems Trump is ending Pax Americana with tariffs. In the world of business this is known as creative destruction. That's the way I understand it.
#Bitcoin

2025-02-04 12:05:17

We're watching the global monetary order reset in real-time:
- The WW2 economic model is breaking down
- The US is reshoring & weakening the dollar
- The world is de-dollarizing
- The Fed will be forced to cut rates
- The US will inflate away its debt
Bitcoin is will absorb the shift. This isn’t just another trade war, it’s a global monetary realignment.
People think tariffs are just about trade, or that the Fed will hold rates forever to "fight inflation". They don’t understand how deep this shift really is.
The post-WW2 economic system is dead. The US is reindustrializing. The dollar is going lower.
For the first time in human history, we the people have engineered a monetary system accessible to all that protects us. Bitcoin will be the biggest winner in this new era.
Buy the dip. Long live Satoshi. Long live Bitcoin
~ Jack Mallers
#Bitcoin
https://m.primal.net/OPrp.jpg

2025-02-02 18:39:48

"Energy flows where attention goes."
https://m.primal.net/ONIV.jpg

2025-02-02 18:29:21

I wonder what Thoreau would've thought of Bitcoin.
"That so many are ready to live by luck, and so get the means of commanding the labor of others less lucky, without contributing any value to society! And that is called enterprise! I know of no more startling development of the immorality of trade, and all the common modes of getting a living. The philosophy and poetry and religion of such a mankind are not worth the dust of a puff-ball. The hog that gets his living by rooting, stirring up the soil so, would be ashamed of such company. If I could command the wealth of all the worlds by lifting my finger, I would not pay such a price for it. Even Mahomet knew that God did not make this world in jest. It makes God to be a moneyed gentleman who scatters a handful of pennies in order to see mankind scramble for them. The world’s raffle! A subsistence in the domains of Nature a thing to be raffled for! What a comment, what a satire on our institutions!"
~ Henry David Thoreau
#Bitcoin

2025-02-02 15:42:23

"You have to make your own world, instead of succumbing to the one that presses on you. You have to turn the tables on what appears to be fate or the full weight of society. Against the greatest odds, you have to keep your wits about you and refuse to surrender to anyone or anything less than divine.” -- Thomas Moore
I have so much to say about this quote. There's so much in it for me.
I feel like 25 years ago I did this without knowing it. The world pressed down on me. It scared me. I had to change. There was no other choice.
So I rebelled. I'm going to live my life my way I thought. It ends the same for all of us anyway.
If you follow my posts right about now you might be like how many times have I heard this? Which I understand. Yet soulwork or therapy is telling your story again and again. Refining it so you know who you are and where you have been.
I tell it on here so I don't have to pay somebody to give me pills to fix my psyche (Is it mine?) to help me adapt to an insane system.
The quote though has something in it that I haven't talked much about. The last sentence. I hear it telling me not to surrender to anyone except the divine.
Well I don't. Because then I'm back to square one again being all anxious and depressed.
And of course this takes me back to Daniel Quinn's "Ishmael." Another recurring theme in my writings, in case you haven't noticed. :-)
Here's a point that he made that doesn't get talked about at all. So instead of complaining about it I will talk about it here.
God, he said, didn't start paying attention to us until we started settling down, growing crops, storing food, growing our population, and growing cities.
Prior to that, for hundreds of thousands of years, while we were roaming the earth hunting and gathering God wasn't paying attention to us. We were on par with the game we were hunting.
But everything changed once we took up agriculture. In our history this is called The Agricultural Revolution.
It doesn't get talked about much like the base layer of the Internet. They are mechanisms that lay the foundation for life as we know it now.
No fields full of crops, no cities. No base layer to the internet, and you don't read this.
So what does this have to do with the last sentence of the quote you might ask.
Understanding this about our history and God's willingness to ignore us for those hundreds of thousands of years got me wondering about his or her or its intentions.
I never wanted to surrender to a divine being that did this. That might sound like hubris to some ears. But I think part of being human being is wrestling with God.
After all it gave me a brain to think and nervous system to feel with.
I mean was I doing God's work when I was cutting trees with a chainsaw to make a living?
When I started out, the day I turned 18, I thought I was. I imagined the trees I was cutting they were being shipped off to make 4' X 8' sheets of chip board would help build nice homes for families across the world.
Then one day the world pressed down on me. Out of desperation I started reading books. Surely somebody has went through this I thought. Suffering alone is the worst kind of suffering.
And in one of the books I read the author, who I've known since I read his work, said something that shook me to my core:
We have to silence the world to do what we do to it. (Paraphrasing)
There were birds living in the trees that I cut to make chip board. I don't ever remember hearing their song on the logging jobs I did for 5 years. I silenced myself and I silenced them to get the job done.
The world was partly dead, and so was I. Yet there was something inside of me that you would not surrender.
The part that sat in a deer stand with my Dad. The part that sat on the ice with my Grandpa and Dad fishing. The part that was at first base in Little League while the wind blew through the dark green oak leaves next to the diamond.
I surrendered to the God of the hunt, game, and leisure. And I turned my back on the cold, calculating God of numbers and rules measured growth at all costs.
Fire #121
2.2.25
https://m.primal.net/OMxl.jpg

2025-01-31 12:37:12

"Don’t take anything literally but always look deeper. For example, if you drink too much, what is your soul looking for in the alcohol? If you eat too much, what part of your soul is in need of nourishing? Think poetically and never respond on a surface level." -- Thomas Moore
Playing with this quote for 15 minutes before I head to the mail trail.
We own and operate a native plant nursery at our house. We are always learning about native plants. There is so much we don't know. They teach us. There's a mystery to it. That's the beauty of our relationship with the plants.
My soul somehow someway wants to be in contact with wild nature. The part that is beyond our control. Because our culture is hellbent on controlling every last atom in its attempt to play God. Omniscient and omnipotent kind.
Control and predictability. That's what we seek at a level we keep hidden from ourselves.
Off to the mail trail
Fire #119
1.31.25
https://m.primal.net/OJgw.jpg

2025-01-30 12:21:40

"What’s important is finding out what works for you.” ~ Thomas Moore
5:50 AM. This quote speaks to me in so many ways. I'm going to play with it for 20 minutes before I go out to start the mail jeep.
One thing Daniel Quinn got across to me in his teaching novels was that life is more fruitful focusing on what works instead of what's right and wrong. The former is more of an engineering mindset; the latter you get into rules and religion. Both are important nonetheless.
We learned early on keeping our kids out of school works for them and us. Most parents nowadays work all day, then run their kids here and there for activities afterwards never spending time together as a family. We eat home cooked meals together 7 days a week.
I occasionally ask our kids if they want to go to school. It's always an emphatic no. With the access to the Internet they're privy to the same information we are. They see school has a place to be potentially bullied or shot and killed. It's prison like to them.
Shifting to a single income family has worked for us so far. Annie is home with the kids to help them on their learning journeys. Kids don't need school. School is primarily there to keep them off the job market. Everything revolves around the health and growth of our economy. It's about products over people. Schooling is no different.
That's not to say some kids benefit greatly from school and there are some amazing teachers out there. Again, it's what works for them.
I know that plowing up fields and spraying them with fertilizers and herbicides is bad for the land and our bodies. Cancer sucks. So we grow native plants with what Thoreau famously said in mind:
"In wildness is the preservation of the world."
Turn to the wild with an open heart and open mind and we see what works.
Well, that was fun. Now it's time to get ready for the mail trail. I hope you have great day! And I hope I didn't ruffle too many feathers. But then again, that might be why you made it this far.
Fire #118
1.30.25
https://m.primal.net/OHwk.jpg

2025-01-29 02:12:18

We payed our electric bill with Bitcoin yesterday. The first bill ever. It won't be our last. We used Strike. Our lights stay on another month. And we're closer to living on a bitcoin standard.
https://invite.strike.me/LEI8U3

2025-01-29 02:06:51

- reply

Thank you. ☕

2025-01-28 12:36:15

"A father is one whose perspective and knowledge are rooted in the underworld and tied to the forefathers, those who have gone before and have created the culture that the father now takes into his hands. A father’s wisdom and moral sensibility find their direction from voices that are not now in life. His initiators are both those literal fathers who have created culture and his own deepest reflections." ~ Thomas Moore
6 AM. I'm on my second burning of wood. It's 25 degrees out there. During my run last night the sky was full of stars. I didn't see the moon.
It was a long day on the mail trail, 12 hours. We were short people, so there was no help to deliver Amazon packages. All in all it went smoothly though. I am starting to internalize the route. In other words, things are starting to fall into place. That usually happens for me after the first week of freak out learning a new route.
The quote to start out this piece I take seriously. There's the job I perform to help pay the bills, then there's fatherhood. Fatherhood connects me to the generations that came before me, and that will come after.
The mail route not so much. I think of hundreds of thousands of years when I think of fatherhood. When it comes to delivering mail maybe a hundred. We've only been delivering mail here for a few hundred years.
Fatherhood is part of the long game. The survival of our species and the habitat that gave birth to it and countless others.
That's enough riffing for now. I'm happy with it. We live in a flat, fast culture. One guy going deep on his phone for 15 minutes in front of a fire ain't going to hurt anything. I hope it adds something. :-)
Off to the mail trail.
Fire #116
1.28.25

2025-01-28 11:58:19

In a society that is defended against the tragic sense of life, depression will appear as an enemy, an unredeemable malady; yet in such a society, devoted to light, depression, in compensation, will be unusually strong.
~ Thomas Moore

2025-01-27 12:35:45

- reply

I agree. Money isn't the solution to all of the world's problems. Like you alluded to, we do live in a system of rewards. So it does have a big impact.

2025-01-27 12:32:47

When man interferes with the Tao,
the sky becomes filthy,
the earth becomes depleted,
the equilibrium crumbles,
creatures become extinct. - The Tao Te Ching
6AM. It's 22 out there. After last week anything above zero seems easy and warm.
By easy I mean vehicles will start with less chances of them breaking on the mail route.
I reread what I wrote yesterday morning. I'm not happy with most of it. This is typical. I will reread it again to see what I can salvage out of it.
I am working on developing something and moving forward on it day by day. Keeping in mind what I am trying to say and why I am telling it to you.
It seems it comes back to the Tao quote above. I suffered. I want to understand what's happening. So I don't have to suffer unnecessarily. The Buddhists tell us life is suffering. It's the unnecessary suffering part that focusing on right now. In other words, disequilibrium.
That's where I'm at in my process. Thought some of you that follow along might be interested.
I'm off to the mail trail this Monday morning. Going to be a heavy day. Mondays always are. I'm well rested and ready for it though.
Hope you have a great day!
Fire #115
1.27.26

2025-01-26 19:01:15

I'm a father of three. Yet I understand why people don't want to have children. I was dead set against having children until I turned 35.
We are creating an unsustainable future for our children and grandchildren on so many levels.
I think we all feel it on some level. Only some people are willing to admit it though. They don't want to be called antihuman.
Yet humans, like any other animal, need habitat to live.
Seems like our goal should be to preserve and create as much livable habitat as we can for nonhumans and humans.
Then people will want to bring children into the world

2025-01-26 18:45:47

- reply

I've been stacking Bitcoin since July 2022. I've read the "Price of Tomorrow" and listened to a 1000 hours of Bitcoin podcasts. Yet a question still arises for me:
Will all of us living under a Bitcoin standard preserve and create more livable habitat for nonhumans and humans?
Because it seems like continuing to grow our population will result in less livable habitat for humans and nonhumans.

2025-01-26 17:44:33

I am looking forward to the release of the JFK Files. Keep pulling back the curtain. Government transparency is paramount. Reality hasn't been the same since 2016, and will never be again. Thank you to the people high and low who are making this possible
https://m.primal.net/OBUi.jpg

2025-01-26 17:43:27

- reply

I'm not going to generalize.

2025-01-26 17:24:43

- reply

Think so? I don't know if I would go that far. That's me though.
I'm a father of three. Yet I understand why people don't want to have children. I was dead set against having children until I turned 35.
We are creating an unsustainable future for our children and grandchildren on so many levels.
I think we all feel it on some level. Only some people are willing to admit it though. They don't want to be called antihuman.
Yet humans, like any other animal, need habitat to live.
Seems like our goal should be to preserve and create as much livable habitat as we can for nonhumans.
Then people will want to bring children into the world.

2025-01-26 16:55:50

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, predicted Trump would change the way we see reality. In other words, he pulled back the curtain on a lot of things. Kennedy is another Curtain Puller. Reality hasn't been the same since 2016.
https://m.primal.net/OBRD.jpg

2025-01-26 16:03:54

- reply

Thank you for asking. I was wondering what happened to Paris too. :-)

2025-01-26 16:00:08

8 AM. Sunday. A day off from delivering mail. I feel like I say this every Sunday. LOL.
I love it. I have time to settle in and write.
I told you a little bit about my Grandpa again yesterday and shared this quote by Carl Jung:
“The less we understand of what our fathers and forefathers sought, the less we understand ourselves, and thus we help with all our might to rob the individual of his roots and his guiding instincts, so that he becomes a particle in the mass, ruled only by what Nietzsche called the spirit of gravity.”
― Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections
I said I didn't want to be ruled by the "spirit of gravity." To become part of mass culture and just die having lived for nothing.
But to do that, to not let gravity take over, I have to go into my father and grandfathers to help me understand who I am and what I am up to. That's if I am understanding Jung correctly.
Because part of me, I think, is living their unlived life.
Bear with me here. I hope I haven't gone off the deep end.
Back in my mid twenties, after anxiety and depression rattled me to my core, I made up my mind I was going to live my life how I wanted to live it.
The way of my father and grandfathers didn't work anymore. That's what the depression and anxiety were telling me.
Once I made up my mind and started to live the life I wanted to, it loosened its grip. Granted, this was a process with help in talk therapy, desperate prayer, etc., but the world quit pressing down on me.
Some people don't make it through this.
This is where "Ishmael," by Daniel Quinn comes in. Right around that time the universe put the book in my hands. A friend actually recommended it, but the event has elevated itself to mythic levels in my personal story.
And that's all we are, A story. A fiction.
The better we understand this story and fiction the less we fall into the "spirit of gravity."
That's my theory anyway.
One thing "Ishmael" taught me was that we were no longer happy conquering and ruling the earth. The suicide rates among adolescents had skyrocketed by then. There was alcohol and drug abuse, etc. A general listlessness among the masses. I don't have to say anymore more about that. We can all see it and have been touched by it in someway.
At the time I was on the front lines conquering and ruling the earth. I would get up early with my Grandpa and his cousin everyday, head to the woods, fall trees, cut them up into 8 ft. lengths, and collect a paycheck.
We never considered the forest community we devastated daily.
And there's no blame or shame here. This has been going on for thousands of years. We were just living the myth of God put us here to conquer and rule the world.
We were part of a mass of humans past and present that were given the knowledge to decide what lives and dies. Because we were descendants of Adam. Who ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. So we got to decide what lived and died.
Of course it's all just a myth, but it has real world consequences inside and out
###
That's it for now. This is the best I've felt about a piece. I can see this developing.
I have told this story in different forms many times before. I'm just refining and deepening it. It's soul work. I think the better we understand our story the better off we will be. Like Freud said, to understand is to forgive.
Thank you for reading. :-)
Fire #114
1.26.25
P.S. I don't think I could write any of this without being on the mail route I am on. I don't think it's an accident that I now run the route that all of the characters in this story lived on. The places jog the memory to tell the stories it seems.

2025-01-25 12:32:22

Twenty one degrees out there at 6 AM. Close to 40 degrees warmer than yesterday morning. I'm banking on the Ford starting no problem.
I will have to sweep the snow off from it. We got a few inches of light fluffy stuff yesterday evening. It started in at about 4 PM. Just when I got back to the Post Office.
Yesterday I met a customer on the mail route whose Dad knew my Grandpa. The one I lived with and write about once and awhile. He said his Dad nicknamed my Grandpa "Little Big Man."
My Grandpa was short, but had a big personality. The customer's Dad and my Grandpa are gone now.
Well, anyway, I'm about of writing time here. I started on a piece first thing this morning. I will post it below.
There's the feeling and urge to these pieces . . . that I need to develop them. Atleast for my own sake.
It's below. I'm off to sweep snow and start a vehicle. I hope you have a great day!
Fire #113
1.25.25
###
"The less we understand of what our fathers and forefathers sought, the less we understand ourselves, and thus we help with all our might to rob the individual of his roots and his guiding instincts, so that he becomes a particle in the mass, ruled only by what Nietzsche called the spirit of gravity.”
― Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections
I never wanted to be ruled by the "spirit of gravity." So I've always been interested in what my father and grandfathers were up to.
Bear with me. Carl Jung quotes do this to me. There is something in Jung that fires me.
If you would've asked me when I turned 18 what I was up to moving in with my Grandparents I couldn't have told you this. But at 50 years old I can.
Most 18 year olds, it seems, do what they need to do to get away from family and strike out on their own to build a life for themselves.

2025-01-24 12:42:10

https://m.primal.net/Nxsk.jpg

2025-01-24 12:40:53

Cold again. 15 below at 5 AM. I immediately hooked the battery charger up to the Ford with the hope it'll start with a little help. I put it on a trickle charge. It said the battery was at 75%. Hopefully within a hour it'll be at 100.
I stopped in to deliver packages to a neighbor that lives 5 miles to the northeast of me the other day. I told him my name. Told him who some of my family was that lives nearby. He got interested. Asked me my name again. Told him that, where I lived, and that my wife and I own Bean Brook Nursery.
"Oh, I know who you are! My wife mentions you once and awhile. You write on Facebook. She follows you."
"Oh no," I said.
"No, it's all good. No worries!"
"Good!!
I left in embarrassment. I took about an hour to wear off.
I have a friend who is a published author. He's written over 20 books. He said one time that a big fear of his is that his neighbors read his books. If I remember correctly. I understand better now why.
I'm off to the mail trail. The Ford started!
Fire #112
1.24.25
https://m.primal.net/Nxsd.jpg

2025-01-24 11:39:27

This quote is why I am open to religious ideas. I don't like to suffer. Life can be easier.
"I have treated many hundreds of patients. Among those in the second half of life - that is to say, over 35 - there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life. It is safe to say that every one of them fell ill because he had lost that which the living religions of every age have given their followers, and none of them has really been healed who did not regain his religious outlook."
~ Carl Jung

2025-01-23 12:30:27

I delivered a package to my mom's neighbors the other day. He and his wife live across the road from her. Not directly, but close enough you can see their house from her driveway.
They're an older couple. I've seen who I thought were their kids and grandkids around there at times. He speaks with a German accent. I've heard he's from Germany. I've never spoken with his wife. Once and awhile I see the two of them out walking together on the road.
They've been living there for well over 5 years now. They used to live over on County A. I deliver mail. I know these things.
Sometimes I see he and his wife out in the woods with a chainsaw clearing brush and deadfall. Usually when I see that a pile of firewood, a couple wheelbarrows of jackpine, is left near my mom's woodshed.
He's been doing that since they lived there. When my Dad was alive he said he just showed up with the firewood and offered it to him to burn in his outdoor wood boiler. He's been doing it ever since. It's enough for a couple days burning.
I delivered a foreign package to him on Tuesday. It needed a signature. I didn't quite make it to the front porch and he was out there ready for it. Said he'd been waiting all afternoon for it.
After he signed and I handed him the package I told him who I was. That my mom and grandma lived across the road from him. Then I thanked him for dropping off the firewood for all those years.
His face lit up. He asked me my name again. I told him it was Curt with a "C". I figured he's German, that might matter. He told me his name again. Said it was nice to meet me. He was going to say more but I had to tell him I had to get going because I was 3 hours behind. "Ok, then!" He said. And I was on my way.
Now he knows who is mailman is. And I know who my mom's neighbor is.
Fire #111
1.23.25

2025-01-22 12:37:15

35 degrees warmer than yesterday morning. It's almost 10 above. I will not be using either of my vehicles today. They both didn't start yesterday. One the battery was completely dead; the other it was so cold the gas wouldn't fire in the chamber.
This is the first time in 16 years I didn't have a mail vehicle of my own available to start the day.
I tried and tried to get the Ford Escape going. Our minivan started. So I pulled it around facing the Ford, hooked the jumper cables up, and let 'er idle and charge. I did this 10 times. It wouldn't fire.
I pulled it up to the white jeep. Tried once or twice. Battery clicked the starter a couple times. Then I went back to the Ford. Turned it over multiple times, but wouldn't fire.
I went in the house and got Annie out of bed for support and ideas. I felt like a failure. It's part of my job to have a vehicle to deliver mail out of.
She would've been able to drive me in our pickup, but she had a Doctor's appointment in Duluth she couldn't miss. I should've been there with her. She needed a driver. But days off are hard to get because we're short handed, especially the day after a holiday.
I did inquire about her cancelling the appointment. It was a hard no.
So I gave in. I went out and started my pickup knowing I was going to be 45 minutes late for work without a vehicle to deliver mail out of.
I showed up to work. Let 'em know the situation. And my Postmaster said I will send you out in the Metris van. Which I'm supposed to be driving everyday anyway. That's another story.
I got my mail and packages sorted, packed up, and ready to load.. It was 3 hours after I should've been out the door. It was going to be a long day, hours of delivering in the dark.
I put the key in the Metris ignition to start and warm it up. Turned it and there was nothing. It was dead.
I went back in to ask a friend and fellow carrier if she could drive me in my pickup. She is on light duty from a fall back in late summer. She tore her bicep and injured her shoulder. It required surgery. She's fighting her way back to delivering mail before she can retire in a few years.
She said take my mail car. There's only two people in the office I'd trust to drive it, and you're one of them.
So I did! I packed every space in her car. By Noon I was off to the mail trail. By 8 PM I was headed back to the Post Office empty.
Her mail car sits in my driveway as I type this. I will drive it today. Exchange it for my pickup this afternoon. And come home to try and start my vehicles in warmer weather.
Winter in northwest Wisconsin.
I hope you have a great day!
Fire #110
1.22.25

2025-01-21 12:10:54

5:35 AM. It's 25 below out there. I'm on my second burning of wood. Been up since 3 AM. Anxious.
The house is slowly cooling down. The fires can't keep up. It didn't get above 0 yesterday, and maybe the day before. If it did, it wasn't much.
Today I face holiday mail and packages. It'll be close to twice as much. With the extreme cold who knows if everyone will show up. Vehicle breakdowns and the will to be out in this are factors. Hoping my vehicle starts and makes it through the day.
I looked out our southern window at 4:30 AM to see a waning moon high in the southern sky. I could see the glow of it coming in around our curtain. The moon and stars, I need to remember to look up at them more.
That's all for right now. Going to enjoy this fire for the few minutes I have before heading off to the mail trail.
I hope you have a great day!
Fire #109
1.21.25

2025-01-20 21:43:53

Joe Rogan's point that RFK Jr. never got sued over what he wrote in the "Real Anthony Fauci" has always stuck with me.
https://m.primal.net/NrfP.jpg

2025-01-20 18:23:16

BITCOIN PRICE ON INAUGURATION DAYS:
2009- $0
2013- $15
2017- $895
2021- $35,500
2025 - $108,000
~ Joel Bomgar

2025-01-20 15:40:33

The earlier you get into Bitcoin the better. Get off zero. Learn what you can about it. The more you learn the more you'll buy. That's been my experience. Hopefully I haven't been suckered. Each day that goes by the less it seems that's so.
https://m.primal.net/Nqsp.jpg

2025-01-20 15:39:09

- reply

By them accepting their pardons they are presumed guilty in my eyes.

2025-01-20 14:35:07

7:20 AM. 22 below out there. Another day off. I have come to appreciate days off. Especially today. I don't have to hope a mail vehicle starts and dress like I am going ice fishing.
Yesterday we drove over to Springbrook to look for my postal badge. I walked the ditch along highway 63 in front of the Post Office and found it! It was a shot in the dark. But there it was laying face down. The white and black of it blending in perfectly with the stained roadside snow. I got lucky.
I was telling Annie yesterday that it would be cool to start a Curt The Carrier Facebook page for my community. I could communicate with customers and get feedback on their mail delivery services.
They could tell me where to leave their packages, etc. I had a customer private message me recently to tell me that she wants her packages left by her garage for example. I like it when people give me feedback. In the end we're a service and I'm not guessing.
I would also communicate what it's like to deliver Amazon packages. When Amazon delivery started in the Post Office it changed the game. The standard mailbox, in my opinion, should have been banned.
That might seem harsh or extreme. But the amount of packages we started delivering went up 5 times. So any package that might fit in the standard mailbox we would desperately try to make fit to save time. A big mailbox or container at the end of the driveway can be a godsend sometimes.
On the other hand, I just delivered a route without Amazon delivery for a year and half. When I had a package that was questionable to fit in the mailbox I usually took it in. I had the space to do it and gave me a chance to get out of the vehicle.
Small things that would make life easier for everybody with a little communication.
Well, that's what I got running through my mind this morning. I hope you have a great day!
Fire #108
1.20.25

2025-01-20 13:12:14

- reply

I planted my seed. :-)

2025-01-20 13:11:23

"Bitcoin is insurance against politicians."
~ Naval Ravikant

2025-01-19 17:42:34

I don't know how accurate this is. It feels accurate. As a family we can't afford a lot of the things we use to. I'm a Rural Route Carrier.
I don't know if it's ever going to get any better, inflation that is. It seems they are going to continue to print money and debase The Dollar.
And the crazy thing is the US Dollar is the strongest currency in the world. There are people in Argentina and other countries, for example, that store their wealth in US Dollars instead of their own currency.
https://m.primal.net/NoGM.jpg

2025-01-19 14:58:01

- reply

HODL, I am not happy with my response to you. I was leaving for work and only had time for a few sentences to challenge.
I wish I would've said that I "wonder" about your assertion about having kids.
I'm a father of two sons, 25 and 15, and a 12 year old daughter. We homeschool. I love my family. I wouldn't trade fatherhood for anything.
Yet these lines by Rilke keep coming up for me:
###
"Sometimes a man stands up during supper
and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking,
because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.
"And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.
"And another man, who remains inside his own house,
stays there, inside the dishes and in the glasses,
so that his children have to go far out into the world
toward that same church, which he forgot."
###
I hear Rilke saying there's something more than the kids. I don't have an answer to what it is. The feeling arises sometimes though.
Anyway, I enjoy your appearances on Mailbag Mondays! Bitcoin has made life brighter for my family. Thank you for the work that you're doing in the space. -- Curt

2025-01-18 12:37:48

- reply

Children are the meaning of life for @npub1rtl…jtfs. But not everyone.

2025-01-18 12:35:55

5:52 AM. I'm in front of morning fire 106. My journal a year ago today says I was also on fire 106. We're about halfway through the burning season I'd guess. There's a pattern to this. 17 years worth.
The new mail route is going well. This will be my 7th day. I don't know if I'll stay. I really do like being close to home and in my territory though.
I get to meet my neighbors. Yesterday I met a woman that sells plants online. I told her we sold plants too, except we focus on natives.
She then showed me the native garden she started recently. Like the last route I now have a native garden besides my own that I can watch develop over the seasons (On edit: LOL. maybe I am staying).
She also told me she makes her living only from selling plants. I told her I would like to someday, too. She really likes it, and said I would too. We concluded plants are good.
She also knew my name before I could tell her. I thought that was pretty cool. Word gets around.
This route is less active. People are out and about less. I'm guessing because people are mostly at work. The last route had a lot of retirees I delivered to.
I've been up for 2 hours now. The temperature outside has dropped 5 degrees. It's down to 8 now. Supposed to be frigidly cold the next couple of days. Glad I have off!
That's it for now. I hope you have a great weekend!
1.18.25

2025-01-17 12:38:37

Everything is on sale with Bitcoin.
https://m.primal.net/NkqX.jpg

2025-01-17 12:37:28

Morning Fire #105
Day 6 on the new mail route. It went well yesterday. It started not so well. I didn't think I would be able to fit all the Amazon packages in my vehicle. I did though.
Then it was a matter of delivering all the packages, mail, and box holder before dark. I did that too. And I did it with grace, little stress, and safely. A lot can go wrong out there.
I got to stop in and see my grandma. She helped me cut the plastic bands on a few bundles of papers. She barely had the strength in her arthritic hands to cut the bands with the scissors. She did it though. She grew up on a farm in southern Wisconsin with 12 brothers and sisters. She's tough. My last grandparent that's still alive. One advantage of doing this route is I get to check in on her.
That's it for now. I'm running late. Had a hard time getting this fire going this morning.
I hope you have a great day!
Fire #105
1.17.25

2025-01-16 12:20:55

- reply

Thank you!

2025-01-16 12:19:45

Morning Fire 104
6:08 AM. Time is short this morning. I did get back to the post office before dark yesterday. The mail case is starting to pair up with the lay of the land I deliver mail on. Starting to calm down and absorb the small things that make the job easier.
Compared to my other route, this route has a lot more little blue stem growing on it. Anywhere there's open, feral land it seems to be growing.
I like little blue stem. It's seasonal colors. The way it catches fire. And the timeless imaginings it invokes. It's been here a lot longer than humans and will more than likely out survive humans. There's something reassuring about that.
I hope you have a great day!
1.16.24
Fire #104

2025-01-16 11:55:55

- reply

I have read all of Daniel Quinn's work. I'm a big fan.

2025-01-16 11:55:01

- reply

This book has stayed with me for 25 years. I never saw the world the same again.

2025-01-16 11:45:06

https://m.primal.net/NjHs.jpg

2025-01-16 11:44:41

Friendly Reminder:
If your income has not risen by at least 23% since Covid hit, you are now poorer.
And that is using the government’s own data. The real number is likely 35% plus.
[From X]
~ Joel Bomgar
https://m.primal.net/NjHq.jpg

2025-01-15 11:31:40

https://m.primal.net/NhdW.jpg

2025-01-10 17:08:37

Bitcoin is competing with the U.S. Dollar.
The more dollars they print the better Bitcoin does.
Why?
Because the Dollar becomes less valuable. That means it can't buy as much as it used to. If you hold it you become poorer.
People will sell their dollars for Bitcoin because it buys more than the dollar does.
That's why people buy gold.
Some predict Bitcoin will be worth more than Gold someday.
I think they are right.
https://m.primal.net/Nalb.jpg

2025-01-09 19:31:41

Bitcoin Rewards Being Useful
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxfCLrfwTTjtmLQOMGYQuko7J45ziYwnp4?si=rT87N6h6FbcW5QmL

2025-01-09 18:31:28

Those are my wallets. One is leather full of cash and cards of all sorts. The other is a Bitkey holding Bitcoin.
When I look at both of them it feels like the leather wallet is becoming more and more obsolete.
About a month ago I learned that we could start to live off from Bitcoin. I've gotten to know a few people that have been living off from it for years now. They've done really well for themselves.
They say if you're past 40 you come to Bitcoin either because you're curious or desperate. I think I'm both.
I love to learn and we are now a single income family trying to grow a native plant nursery. Staying afloat financially is important for the latter.
Bitcoin, I've learned. holds its value better than the U.S Dollar.
I work hard for a wage. I want to hold onto what I've earned after all the bills are paid.
So here I am going deeper and deeper into Bitcoin.
This is nothing unusual. I know enough Bitcoiners to know that this is a natural process. I've been buying it for 2 1/2 years now. As I've learned more I've bought more.
Someday you might find yourself in this condition and position.
If you do, I recommend you buy a Bitkey to hold your Bitcoin on. I set it up today and transferred my Bitcoin onto it. It was simple and seamless.
Along the way into my Bitcoin journey I have asked for help from other Bitcoiners who have been more tech savvy than I.
In both instances it seemed both individuals dropped what they were doing and got back to me immediately with audio messages. They couldn't type because they were driving or working out.
It happened today. I had questions about setting up my Bitkey. I private-messaged the gentleman. He was driving his family in their van. But still sent me an audio message while they were together.
The Bitcoiners I know are possessed with a commitment and conviction to build a better world. And it's contagious.
So if you ever find yourself with questions or concerns about Bitcoin I am offering to help you or point you in the direction of someone who can.
1.1.25
https://m.primal.net/NZWR.jpg

2025-01-09 18:23:43

Me too. I couldn't tell you anything about the rest of the coins out there. I found Bitcoin in July of 2022. Partly out of desperation and partly out of curiosity.
The desperation came from watching the price of everything go up while my wages didn't.
The curiosity sparked by the Bitcoiners telling me how it was the best form of currency ever invented. Even better than gold!
Since then more and more of my wages go into Bitcoin. We are hoping to be living off it within the next year.
https://m.primal.net/NZWN.jpg