Miss Pasture

Desantis is the kinda guy who orders 3 large pizzas for himself, and rolls each one into a long tube. He then holds each pizza-tube up like a funnel, and squeezes the cheese and sauce into his mouth.

Once all the drippings are fully sucked out, he throws away the desiccated pizza bread-tubes and confidently announces, patting his tummy, “Another devastating blow to the hot pocket wokeocracy.”