Grimm :bc:

HI, formerly Grimm of twitter, where I did dumb history jokes, occasionally pimped my angry left-ass rock songs, posted absolute tons of filthy invective at right-wing assholes and, I believe, introduced the verb "embitch" to the language.

Vet my profanity-ridden ravings here: https://justmytoots.com/GrimmReality@beige.party

If you are self-ascribed MAGA or a neo-Nazi, which are one thing, don't bother, you'll eventually rage-type some racist shit and get 86ed so let's save us all the time.

Public Key

npub10hf5yz7hlhwnuvwv57e46v07gwjsrtmfex6wxhy2asxk7xeyjapss7uvpy

NIP-05 Address

GrimmReality_at_beige.party@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs8m56zp0tlmhf7x8x20v6ax8ly8fgp4a5und8rtj9wcrt0rvjfwscpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43qzxrhwden5te0wfjkccte9ehx7umhdpjhyefwvdhk6vagswy

Publishing to

relay.mostr.pub

relay.noswhere.com

Author Public Key

npub10hf5yz7hlhwnuvwv57e46v07gwjsrtmfex6wxhy2asxk7xeyjapss7uvpy

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Last Notes

2024-09-12 23:27:00

ME DRIVING PAST THIS LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO: Oh hey, I didn't know it was called that.
ME FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES AGO: Wait, what the fuck?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/127/161/458/721/765/original/0eaf1beae50df338.jpg

2024-09-11 04:27:32

- reply

You fucking assholes. You dissembling obfuscating complete cunts.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/117/024/184/478/520/original/40f65a051910dba9.jpg

2024-09-11 02:07:54

In First Debate, Harris Delivers Fusillade of Bodyblows to Trump's Credibility and Any Claims to Rudimentary Grasp of Reality But Did She Come Off as TOO Smart, Competent and Politically Astute?
- New York Times tomorrow probably

2024-08-31 03:03:55

I tell people "Have a good one" cuz that way the good thing they want to have is up to them.
Day.
Sandwich.
Wank.
Pegging.
Any of those.

2024-08-29 01:32:21

Bumblebees: Nature's fuckups, apparently.

2024-08-18 03:57:40

Jesus, whoever did this, step up and shout out so I can nominate you for a Pulitzer prize or something.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/981/013/605/083/042/original/03a2fe317c6d1039.jpg

2024-08-16 19:29:06

Panicking American neo-Nazis is the funniest kind of American neo-Nazi.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/973/351/499/031/221/original/0ea78411e7808c05.png

2024-08-15 00:04:46

If you ever feel your self-esteem ebbing a bit and maybe think the considerable set of skills you've built up might not be up to a certain job or task at hand, try to remember the absolute bugfuck and wholly unearned sense of entitlement on this fucking guy.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/963/110/425/440/996/original/66c0779e765de105.jpg

2024-08-14 15:11:33

No clue how French defamation law works but I'm hoping there's juuust enough wiggle room there for Khelif to move into their houses and throw all their garish shit into a lawn dumpster. https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/jk-rowling-elon-musk-imane-khelif-lawsuit-1236105185/

2024-08-13 02:49:05

A bunch of small-town white people who supported a coup d'etat to end American democracy in favor of being ruled with an iron first by a rapey gameshow host who can't even remotely string together a coherent sentence and wants to fuck his daughter want you to stop calling them "weird," please.

2024-08-11 21:29:29

I think I told you guys before but my sister buys me any random item of merch with swears on it.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/945/512/939/658/188/original/a65f8a8dcaccc386.jpg

2024-07-26 17:36:45

It really is a tough decision when one candidate says pronouns at a speaking engagement and the opposing campaign vows to do programmatic ethnic cleansing and subjugate every woman to her "proper" role as a silent, servile baby mortar.

2024-07-24 02:04:04

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Say what you want about JD Vance but he absolutely cemented the neo-Nazi vote.

2024-07-19 01:58:11

Totally "not fascist" 99.9% white political party mass-produces and gleefully brandishes campaign signage specifically demanding the ethnic cleansing of America.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/810/674/184/401/246/original/444a48aba07ec9b3.jpg

2024-07-15 21:58:12

Will the GOP selecting a full-throated neo-Nazi as its VP pick have any impact on its broader already eight-year-old movement to violently end democracy and freedom in America in favor of a bleak fascist shitscape? We'll discuss that tonight on the Big Network Facile Gherm Hour but without using those terms and instead obfuscating the fuck out of it like weaselly shitspigots so it just seems like normal whitepeople politics.

2024-07-01 20:42:05

Take a moment today to pet a dog, say something nice to someone you love and make a solemn vow to do everything you are capable of to outlive and absolutely irrevocably fucking END the Supreme Court as currently constituted.

2024-06-12 15:32:38

Good. I would just make federal approval contingent upon a massive repatriation fund out of Texas coffers to relocate 15ish million Americans to the United States but then you're good to fuck off to pariah dictatorship status and crawling through routine man-made disasters sans any fed bailouts.
https://www.newsweek.com/texas-secession-takes-major-step-gop-backs-vote-1911678

2024-06-08 21:32:57

Capitalism needs to stop doing things.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/583/138/640/575/126/original/2643c4cc778714ce.jpg

2024-06-08 05:16:26

HEALTHCARE PROFSSIONALS: You should routinely hydrate so your pee is clear.
DRUNK ME: Fuckin A. My pee is clear!
HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: Beer doesn't count.
DRUNK ME: I feel if you are just going to move the goalpost here we should fight.

2024-06-03 23:09:21

Not being on twitter anymore means it took a couple days to find out Alex Jones cried and begged for money on air over the weekend because he is staring into the dark abyss of imminent ruin and honestly congrats to him for finding his purpose because the ONLY activity available to online-tv neo-Nazis, be it Jones, Matt Walsh or Tim Pool, should be crying and begging for money because they're staring into the dark abyss of imminent ruin. it's like water finding its level. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/jun/03/alex-jones-sandy-hook-payment

2024-05-24 17:39:56

Do people still do "dreamt"? It sounds better than "dreamed," right?

2024-05-18 05:51:37

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At this point, I don't think it's going out on too long a limb to make the case that the court's conservatives are fully committed to zero restrictions on weapons, like in a BEYOND-Scalia way, because they think their political movement 100% requires armed squads of small-town/exurban yayhoo Brownshirts.
Is this hyperbolic? Fucking. NOTHING. is hyperbolic anymore.

2024-05-17 21:45:30

"A handful of cretinous shitsacks who fully legalized bribery in America because they hold to an ideology that insists rich, conservative people are inherently superior and should have carte blanche to rule unfettered by laws turned out to also take a fuck-tons of bribes, dismissed every suggestion they account for that because those suggestions came from lowly pleb scum, and materially participated in an effort to end democracy in America" sure feels like a plot twist every last person with critical thinking skills should have seen coming.

2024-05-10 19:40:55

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👇 😐
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/418/488/170/098/190/original/90331c87678e72b0.png

2024-05-10 17:29:35

What the entire bloody fuck is wrong with literally EVERYone at The New York Times?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/417/975/125/645/261/original/77c75ee3c9353be6.png

2024-05-09 21:21:28

Stop saying "devices." It's fucking weird.

2024-05-06 23:32:09

To everyone on social media lording their morel mushroom hauls over people with no morel mushroom hauls, fuck you.

2024-05-01 16:48:14

I am editing a book for someone and, while it is my job to clean this up, I would like to take a moment to step outside this immediate task and IMPLORE everyone this might apply to to stop using apostrophes to indicate plurality. Thank you in advance.

2024-04-22 17:46:56

Americans celebrating Earth Day is kind of like Darth Vader celebrating Alderaan Day right before shuttling back up to the Death Star.

2024-04-18 20:06:54

Look at you with your Kitchen Scissors that are different from your Normal Scissors like some kind of Byzantine emperor.

2024-03-25 18:37:22

The efficacy rate of people eating bags of dicks after I have told them to eat a bag of dicks is remarkably low, but do I let that deter me? No. This is the power of BELIEVING in what you do, kids.

2024-03-08 21:34:32

Every - and by "every" I mean EVERY - aggrievement bleated about by American conservatives is 100% manufactured horseshit and can be easily sidestepped by not being a petulant fucking child perpetually in the market for someone to hate.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/062/195/863/968/506/original/2734516871a37827.jpg

2024-02-14 22:03:26

"We give #ElonMusk a pass on his full-throated neo-Nazism because of how brilliant he is" sure is looking like an even stupider opinion than it already was.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/932/091/448/566/916/original/ead271182cb022a6.png

2024-02-10 22:01:58

"Try to be less of a dick next time."
- the Buddha, paraphrased-ish

2024-01-30 05:18:29

HEY IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR SCIENCE PEOPLE, can applesauce ferment or am I just getting my hopes up for no reason again?

2024-01-28 20:25:46

I'm sure any truck convoy of armed-to-the-teeth American neo-Nazis calling themselves The Army of God traveling to Texas hoping to murder destitute brown people is full nice people who genuinely mean well.

2024-01-04 00:32:43

Someone on facebook just replied to a short 2018 review I wrote of a chain wine store in Brookfield that got tagged for doing racist shit and I don't like telling people how to live their lives given that I would be speaking from the smoking debris of a trainwreck but I WILL say, whatever the fuck you're doing with your life that you are dredging the bowels of chain wine store facebook account reviews that say "great selection but the service was a bit racist" and then feel the need to reply and even then I don't understand what the fuck you're trying to say, maybe try literally ANYthing else.

2023-12-30 08:03:20

SNACK HACK! Triage all those Brazil nuts out of your bag of mixed nuts and put them in a separate bag for when you are drunk and just don't give a shit.

2023-12-28 00:44:26

Joe is not on this website so it is INCUMBENT upon me to share this with you.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/655/271/597/678/026/original/2e55f8ace9629493.png

2023-12-26 03:54:26

ME: Enough with all these scary peel-your-face-off crawl-through-the-tv ghosts, how about some hot ghosts who can corporealize long enough to have sex with you! Where are those?
HER: Maybe you should try dating again.
ME: DOESN'T REALLY SOLVE THE GHOST PROBLEM, DOES IT?
HER: OK so I have reconsidered what I said and you should under no circumstances try dating again.
ME: Good cuz if I get a ghost girlfriend and she's jealous haha oh man that could go badly.

2023-12-16 04:10:40

Finally took "Can probably hit more three-pointers than anyone else you'll date" out of my Bumble profile.
I mean, it's probably still generally true but I think the audience for that particular skill is shrinking a bit as I become more undateable.

2023-12-11 00:35:59

Hey. Hey.
What's the punk rock beat preferred by four out of five dentists?
The floor ride!

2023-12-08 20:52:17

I'm no fancy big-city social scientist but maybe letting rich sociopaths build vast machines specifically designed to make people stupid and violent was a mistake.

2023-12-08 03:56:46

After I sat her dog for a week, my sister sent me home with a bag of delicious Asian food ingredients cuz she knows I like to cook, especially spicy stuff, but the bag also included one curious can of something.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/542/780/326/963/414/original/29b3a5b13fe9c9ba.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/542/781/106/072/810/original/ee5a0d04a328a088.jpg

2023-11-14 00:07:01

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@npub1jma…0as2 Microsoft. Like it's a Windows feature at the bottom right that pops up as a feed.

2023-11-13 19:09:16

I like Taco John's but I don't think this should have shown up in my newsfeed and I question the very system that made that happen.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/404/807/826/864/853/original/6d5db7613863f049.png

2023-11-12 04:19:31

Fuck the The New York Times - and I cannot say this emphatically enough - into the sun, through the putrid bowels of hell and deep into the asshole of Mordor.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/395/649/077/145/908/original/582871ed3b5ad125.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/395/649/780/343/071/original/dfa96e6c0c0795a8.jpg

2023-11-11 19:42:29

Stop doing "sexy" Santas in advertising, you fucking psychos.

2023-11-03 19:54:03

You'd think a faith so powerful that you won't shut the fuck up about it would gird you against your crippling omnipresent fear of daft made-up bullshit.

2023-10-03 00:30:05

The idea of the lawyer who completely fuckhoused #AlexJones now suing the shit out of #ElonMusk for siccing his thrall horde of neo-Nazis on some Jewish kid just minding his own business is as good an idea as I have heard today.
https://youtu.be/qyVYWSorGEQ?si=Zg3VWW6Qbf1rqwut

2023-09-19 00:18:18

I am no lawyer but "mens rea" sounds way dirtier than it is.

2023-09-15 21:25:50

In fairness, I ask this of every "expert" who has been publicly, provably and LOUDly wrong about nearly everything but how the fuck does Jim Cramer still have a job doing ANYthing, and by ANYthing I mean up to and including Walmart Greeter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe5kGU24_QA&t=323s

2023-09-14 22:23:07

Remember that time a big fucken boot drove down East Wash when I was drunk and wondering what an honest campaign mascot for the Republican Party would be?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/065/833/762/906/913/original/75eda36a77841a8d.jpg

2023-09-02 20:38:55

A lot of us hate the Escape (The Piña Colada Song) for being twee garbage but even I can admit we might think a bit differently about it if it ended in the noir-ish murder-suicide the narrative was pretty obviously setting up.

2023-08-30 19:56:55

I really appreciate hearing denunciations of racist murders by Republican politicians who spent the last six years saying racism doesn't exist in America and demonizing millions of people protesting it and passing sweeping cookie-cutter legislation to outlaw any mention of it in history books and inspiring their neo-Nazi fans, who 100% agree with these positions and policies, to gun down black, brown, Jewish and LGBTQ people in malls, clubs, supermarkets, synagogues and dollar stores.

2023-08-30 02:29:32

You people who don't vote make me sick.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/110/976/209/318/528/218/original/9d0654a90fe060e4.jpeg

2023-08-25 18:57:10

The Falafel King just has one of those trailers they park on Capitol Square on weekdays so I am pretty sure we could overthrow him in like a half hour or so and then we can redistribute falafels equitably.

2023-08-23 23:24:46

Hm I wonder what could be on the other side of that door and if it might still be the 100-FUCKING-DEGREE DAY THAT WE WERE JUST OUT IN AN HOUR AGO THAT WE COULDN'T BE OUT IN FOR TOO LONG BECAUSE IT BROILS DUMB DOG BRAINS.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/110/941/487/697/984/810/original/c88932015d4869c1.jpeg

2023-08-12 03:48:07

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@npub189n…satx oh no, what happened?

2023-08-11 20:51:09

Russell Brand, RFKJr and Naomi Wolf walk into a bar and the bartender says "No. Get out."

2023-08-11 00:48:55

Man, don't ask me how I know but do NOT use these guys for your quasi-legal underworld commercial enterprises.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/110/868/221/350/649/665/original/c1be8d271bd110fd.jpeg

2023-08-06 00:02:54

I will not posit that this is a GOOD idea but it would definitely be pretty funny if the "free mystery gift" you got with your inaugural Adam & Eve order was a ham.

2023-07-19 20:59:48

I have a couple drawers of old notebooks and anyone who says I do not meticulously catalog my work can go right to hell.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/110/742/756/433/426/424/original/911db9a4bd9db1ae.jpeg

2023-07-14 02:57:45

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Rod Serling already called you a stupid Nazi twat, tbc, he just used brilliant metaphors and stories to do it, as does Jordan Peele. Antifascism isn't an aberration, it's the rule. If you found yourself on the other side of that, that's not Jordan Peele or Rod Serling's problem, it's the problem of you being a neo-Nazi piece of shit.

2023-07-14 02:33:36

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If you liked The Twilight Zone and just happen to be MAGA and don't get the misfire, it's probably worth noting that MOST storytellers' stories tend to vilify characters who both espouse and adhere zealously to blind febrile nationalism in order to create/glom onto mass movements of violent intolerance toward redemption of, let's say, the Fatherland, because many many storytellers have done the basic research to know that, just on empirical evidence, those people and movements are fucking ALWAYS assholes and their death makes the world a better place.
Don't take it personally. Except, y'know, well, go ahead and take it personally. Turns out dumb violent dogshit beliefs acted upon to try to destroy society actually make you a bad person, so maybe start questioning your beshitted fucking dogma or get used to being called a stupid Nazi twat.

2023-07-07 23:29:13

HEY. Here's a #FF post!
So apparently, after being here since November, I crossed 4K followers sometime recently, which is kind of astounding to me since I only made it to roughly three k in the algorithm-stanched mire of twitter after being active on it for SEVEN effing years, and it's never really been a NUMBERS thing for me - cuz if it were I would probably type fewer f- and c- and t-words and do fewer extended drunkrants - but more about "I think these words put together this way are funny and let's see if my online friends think so" or sometimes "here is a song I wrote somewhat relevant my current RAGETOPIC" or "I wonder how long can I make this fucking sentence whilst still doing proper grammar shit AND still having people read it," but, that said...
Big thanks to you kids who decided all that^ rubbish was worth following and for helping all of us carve a fun new space here, and since we've got a new wave of #twittermigration from birdland like it is 1933 Germany - seeing as it kind of fucking is - here are some must-follow accounts that are alternately funny, menschy, delightful or, on occasion, funmenschlightful, and you should follow them if you enjoy good things versus bad.
Starting with the intrepid and abstractly hilarious brainiac who made our beachhead instance [beige.party] the BEST one and a warm port for immigrants:
@npub184f…gpf3
These awesome people didn't do that, specifically, but are exactly as great: @npub15u4…jekn
@npub1jwz…d2ah
@npub1a5m…c7gu
@npub19fc…ay3c
@npub12sx…r4z3
@npub1cfr…8g0l
@npub1u7z…n5e4
@npub1h0d…jncs
@npub18lj…80hq @npub1vg3…qur7
@npub189n…satx
@npub1hyg…mem5
@npub1znv…9gqv
@npub1zsx…zcfs
@npub1es7…0df6
@npub1gte…33at @npub1ztp…x2vv
@npub1d84…y4vl
@npub1m9k…r6zt
@npub1w0k…z3sz
@npub1076…x7m7
@npub1jpe…zsux
@npub1lcq…6em0
@npub135v…a57a @npub19yx…h6q9
@npub1p8s…4tga
@npub1yya…epy9
@npub1qa9…729f
@npub1ptr…tzk3
@npub1xyj…3kn5
@npub1cz5…kath
@npub1xp3…7mc7
@npub1auz…maqf
This is list is in no way complete and in five minutes I'll probably think of others and feel like an asshole - which I AM - and then fifteen minutes later again and probably add to it, but - BUT - you can't go wrong following these good word-sharing people. SO GO HOG WILD, is my advice.
Beige bless and never forget to smash fascism, mis compañeros.

2023-07-01 01:46:35

IT IS #CanadaDay - YAY CANADA - so to celebrate I will tell you guys that my friend Lenny goes to Canada sometimes to do outdoorsy shit and says there is a show about Canadian border agents where 96% of the show is them telling American yayhoos they didn't declare their guns so Canada was confiscating their guns and the yayhoos were banned from Canada for seven years and, if the yayhoos had just been honest about having guns, the Canadian border guys would've just taken them, boxed them up and nicely mailed them back to their home addresses, but, as Americans, we are above rules, the payoff of which is haha fuck you, MAGA chuds.

2023-06-20 21:31:53

Probably worth noting the massive #Democratic Party outrage over the #HunterBiden plea deal that 100% does not exist because it's not a lunatic fucking cult of revanchist rednecks looking for excuses to murder people.

2023-06-16 22:45:41

You're telling me you're a conservative asshole AND you have an operational philosophy on how to tip waitstaff? Well, sir, let me crack a beer and pull up a chair because this 100% promises to be some weapons-grade sociopathic garbage masquerading as good ol fashioned common-sense yokel horseshit.

2023-06-14 19:18:12

Anyone: Wanna go do stuff?
Dog: WTF OMG STUFF IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE THING TO DO HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT YAY

2023-06-11 20:23:58

Must be a little weird for people who bought a #Tesla a few years ago because you might've had a perfectly reasonable eco-conscious-ish reason to buy it but now when people see you in it they think "Odds are pretty good that that person is a neo-Nazi."

2023-06-11 16:58:39

If you've never microwaved ice cream to put in your coffee because you were too lazy to go to the store, I really don't have time to hear about your fancy trust-fund Harvard MBA name-brand-groceries life in Windsor Castle or wherever.

2023-06-10 01:37:21

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Imagine being an extra basic white dude or boilerplate Karen in "the Heartland" and the smartest guy you've ever beheld, the absolute American paragon of virtue and enterprise, the born-wealthy "hero of the working man," the guy playing "5D chess" with all petty mudpeople of the "Deep State," is a guy who could've easily said "Oh damn, did I take the wrong shit, sorry, here you go" but was, of his very essence, INCAPABLE of that basic act of contrition and humility most normal people do a thousand times in any one lifetime and not been prosecuted for high crimes, and you're still such an extra basic "Heartland" white dude/Karen that you insist beyond the reach of all information and rudimentary metrics of morality and decency that that fucking bloated spraypainted fucking elephant scrotum of a person is the exact philosopher-king America needs to redeem it.
Like I'm not the BEST person in the world but that just seems like you're working pretty hard to be septic fucking rubbish.

2023-06-09 23:27:00

Just a PSA, if you are a neck-veiny conservative white man just absolutely raring to do right-wing terrorism right now because you made a blithering cretinous fuckwit your messiah because of how poignantly his racism spoke to you and he turned out to be a pretty incompetent criminal and not enough of a dictator to get away with it, please be sure to yell about it on your standard Dogpatch Fascist Yayhoo social medium that I am sure is in no way being monitored by the feds because of how much smarter you are than them.
#TrumpIndictment #RedneckTet

2023-06-08 03:01:25

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Every snitchy ethnic-cleansing-happy fucking Liberty University grad doing shit like this in Florida, Texas or wherever right now thinks they're being clever little political ratfuckers doing shit like this but they're human-trafficking kidnapping motherfucking criminals and they absolutely need to be removed from society with every legal means available to any prosecutor willing to do their actual job.

2023-06-08 02:56:16

I'm not speaking hyperbolically when I say #Desantis and every miserable skiving little Klandroid piece of shit in his administration involved in this needs to be arrested and prosecuted to fullest extent of the law for this and locked away from normal human beings and it needs to happen right fucking now.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jun/06/florida-confirms-it-was-behind-flights-that-left-asylum-seekers-in-california

2023-05-16 19:03:25

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Some hero with better vid editing skills than I have needs to start The Yelling Shit At Neo-Nazis Channel on youtube.

2023-05-16 18:51:57

Please yell shit at neo-Nazis when they are in your town and have someone film it. It is on its face a good thing to do and it galvanizes your neighbors yell shit at neo-Nazis wherever they may occur.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgtmDlUDUfM

2023-05-14 00:51:25

I like to say "have a good one" in parting because it really leaves it up to the person to decide which good thing to have. Day. Evening. Hunt. Snack. Orgasm. You are a free child of light, go hog fucken wild, I say.

2023-05-10 21:19:29

Just an fyi from the IDW, Tim Pool is dancing like a cartoon frog around a neo-Nazi mass murderer being a big fan of Tim Pool - along with a bunch of neo-Nazis - by suggesting the actual reason "RWDS" mass murder sprees happen is "multiculturalism," which is, oddly, what neo-Nazis are attempting to "cleanse" when they do mass murders and they're fans of Tim Pool because he shares ideologies with and platforms neo-Nazis who advocate awful violent linear-thinking garbage to revanchist dumbfucks with guns every day of the fucking year.

2023-05-05 01:00:52

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@npub15c8…fal0 You won't be fake-laughing so hard once I drop my Star Wars jokes, mister!

2023-04-24 18:29:52

I don't like to get too political but neo-Nazis like #[0] getting fired from their jobs is objectively good and should happen all the time until our society makes it profoundly clear that if you are a neo-Nazi you have no future and everyone should hate you.

2023-04-06 19:25:43

#[0] is a fascist fucking yayhoo themepark and people need to stop going there and giving money to any businesses headquartered there, thank you.

2023-03-30 23:45:31

While a lot of people are celebrating the indictment, which I totally understand, let's just keep in mind that there are a lot of kindly earnest small-town Christian volk out there who are hurting and may resort to violence specifically because they are neo-Nazi redneck taintswabs who were fairly likely already going to do murders to "cleanse America" because, importantly, even before this, they were revanchist sociopaths prone to violence owing to the fact that they literally joined a political movement based entirely on hatred and intolerance and the political party they affiliate with is a terrorist organization that demonstrably marshaled a shitload of them to attempt a coup d'etat to end America as a constitutional republic.

2023-03-29 20:00:24

Has anybody heard from the people who bought up all the toilet paper so other people couldn't buy toilet paper? Are they rugged heroes with spotless asses now or are they just kind of hunkered down, sharing Let's Go Brandon memes because that's what passes as humor in their cloistered gray lives, and somehow deluded they are not sacks of shit whose basic character is that of the people you run into in the first act of a zombie movie, which prompts you to say "Oh thank god, non-zombies," but then you realize you're gonna have to kill them because they are about to murder you for your canned goods and their job is being the archetype for "The Worst Inclinations of Humanity"?

2023-03-19 04:00:42

I yell at my TV a lot but it is usually during basketball games and mostly not like just now when the guy in charge of a criminal enterprise was found to have killed one of his guard dogs upon going on the lam and I saw the dog and shouted "NOO" at my TV and then came here to say this to everyone who makes stories: NEVER FUCKING KILL A DOG. IN YOUR STORY. OR OTHERWISE. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR "NARRATIVE" REASON FOR IT IS.
DO
NOT
KILL
DOGS
IN
STORIES.

2022-11-26 21:53:42

My Hamlet prequel, Alas Poor Yorick, is about a comedian who dies penniless and unappreciated because dumb yammery Vikings are too busy doing brooding and murders to get jokes.

2022-11-11 22:15:27

Anyway, this was my pinned and probably closest-to-viral tweet back in the day, so it might tell you what you need to know.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/109/938/225/496/349/275/original/f93b67084f5b891c.png