Girl on the Net

#SexBlogger, #pervert, fuckup.

May all the autumn leaves turn to twenties at your feet.

Https://www.girlonthenet.com 
https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

Location: London

Public Key

npub10gl8h68zlvq56hd5d96xg0pmzvygdl6hnz540fjythvujc6n4c7qs5seww

NIP-05 Address

girlonthenet_at_mastodon.social@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs850nmar30kq2dtk6xjary8sa3xzyxlate322h5ez9mkwfvdf6u0q7pfghv

Author Public Key

npub10gl8h68zlvq56hd5d96xg0pmzvygdl6hnz540fjythvujc6n4c7qs5seww

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Last Notes

2024-09-08 09:16:32

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this is absolutely stunning ❤️

2024-07-08 11:12:36

"She noticed one of the men wander around the back of the car and she could clearly see he had his hard dick firmly grasped in his hand."
Patreons! You get DOUBLE guest #AudioPorn this week cos I'm catching up from last week. And today's is an especially horny, character-driven piece of #dogging #erotica by none other than @npub1lg8…l7az!
https://www.patreon.com/posts/dirty-dogger-new-107694533

2024-07-05 18:44:26

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That toot is going to get boosted by so many gentle dads, who will chuckle lightly before returning to their fish puns.

2024-07-05 18:41:32

The opposite of #ToxicMasculinity is when dudes in their late 40s use social media to gently exchange and retweet mediocre, inoffensive Dad jokes.

2024-07-02 11:43:11

Spotted this on BlueSky - love the idea, hate the execution.
"What does sex look like for you?" is robotic and weird-sounding to most people who aren't embedded in Sex Discourse. Plus, many people don't actually know how to articulate their desires, and many just assume that their likes are *obvious* or ""normal"".
Better alternatives: what do you like? Do you prefer this... [example] or that... [example]? Old blog about this very thing: (a bit NSFW) https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/joan-price-eye-chart-meta-sex-advice/
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/716/703/125/311/883/original/9fe6c1c2f4e9159d.png

2024-06-26 12:19:48

"You’re never too late. You have not missed the boat. For as long as you have breath in your body, that body can bring you pleasure. Use it however you can to do what brings you joy. Today. Right now. The only time there is."
One of my favourite posts from the archive.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/never-too-late/
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/682/885/966/943/303/original/cbd7c5fd2185ef49.png

2024-06-19 17:49:32

Are you also a #romantic slut? @npub1lkr…0vs3 explains, in this fantastic interview, why you don't have to eschew intimacy during casual sex: you can be expressive and passionate during #OneNightStands too!
https://www.patreon.com/posts/thats-their-not-106420009
(it's behind a paywall, please give me £/$20 and you'll get access to this, other interviews plus a YEAR of ad-free #AudioPorn)
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/644/475/736/687/094/original/43afa99ab543da74.png

2024-06-18 12:31:42

The good news is that I'm not in trouble with Patreon. The bad news is that it took them OVER A MONTH to decide that.
[FYI, here's the post they were umming and aahing about. It does not break any of their rules, but it's FILTHY hot. By @npub1lg8…l7az, read by Stephen Carling: https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/dirty-little-cum-slut/]
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/637/627/586/116/043/original/067cb59136a0e03c.png

2024-06-17 10:02:25

This website will tell you how to vote tactically if you want to get the Tories out. Or, if you are in my area, it will give you the reassurance you need to vote with your heart without risking a Tory win.
https://www.getvoting.org/

2024-06-15 20:13:28

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ohhh my commiserations ❤️I hope you still manage to rock the fuck out

2024-06-08 13:51:25

#MoneySaving tip: save cash on expensive salon manicures by hanging out with a 4 year old
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/581/317/345/432/701/original/414f94ea6a2fa4a0.jpeg

2024-06-06 11:27:45

One of my mates just offered me a free Download ticket and I can't take it. Truly, heartbrokenly gutted. Fall Out Boy are playing! Bowling for Soup! THE OFFSPRING! Sum 41! Fucking BUSTED!! My inner 16-year-old will never ever recover from this.

2024-06-03 09:48:24

A friend of mine just shared this because some random bigot on his FB was kicking off that the Duo owl would be pro-LGBT+ rights ("I'll DELETE THE APP!! OMG"). Obviously this is hilariously tragic and bigots should fuck off but I feel like there's a deeper question that needs answering here.
Namely: why does this owl have tits?
Is the Duolingo owl... a mammal?
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/552/039/026/004/163/original/62de55a03a9edab2.png

2024-05-24 23:05:42

PSA: if you are creepy, I’m definitely gonna block you. I consider ‘going through all my old photos and favving/boosting every single one that features a bit of my body’ an example of creepy behaviour. I know not everyone is going to feel this way, but I do. I’ve blocked the guy who did it, this is just some info for the rest of you because it does happen occasionally and I’d like it to stop please 👍

2024-05-23 16:48:25

Let’s start looking forward to it: how will YOU celebrate the utter humiliation and potential annihilation of the Tory party on 4th July?

2024-05-06 15:16:13

Do you run a sex blog, or write #erotica? Please consider submitting to the #AudioPorn project! I'll turn your work into audio, to make it more accessible to blind and partially-sighted readers, and I'll pay you as well.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sex-blogs-turned-into-audio-porn/

2024-05-01 20:08:26

Stages of #Duolingo:
-This is so cool and helpful!
-I’m learning so quickly!
-I can share my progress with friends! 🥰
-I’m so obsessed with my streak haha!
-I want to punt this stupid owl into the centre of the sun

2024-04-30 11:54:39

Pro tip if you are friends with people who love where they live: an easy, fun present for birthdays (and ESPECIALLY housewarmings) is to go to ebay and find an antique map for their area. I fucking LOVE antique maps of my area and have had a 100% success/joy rate when buying them for other people. You can usually find cheap ones - I just got one for a mate's upcoming birthday for just over 10 quid.

2024-04-16 11:14:43

Now THAT'S what I call a headline.
https://defector.com/cybertruck-deliveries-halted-due-to-car-being-a-big-piece-of-shit-that-doesnt-work
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/280/604/286/542/248/original/466d07c4576d9842.png

2024-03-25 18:33:16

I've had such a lovely day off - pretending to be a lawyer with (actual lawyer) [@neil](https://mastodon.neilzone.co.uk/@neil), then having a lovely long walk through the city and ending up in a nice park. I should take the day off every day.

2024-03-24 17:14:17

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grim innit. I hope his wife finds peace (and freedom from him)

2024-03-24 13:37:51

It's difficult to do this job and not end up on some level hating men. Or at least fearing them deeply.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/150/934/522/064/537/original/301f05363befe70a.png