ShowerThoughts

Random /r/ShowerThoughts posts from an all-time top 10,000 as of October 2016.

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Last Notes

2024-10-05 22:15:01

Netflix needs an incognito mode so that I can watch terrible films without
getting recommended more terrible films
-JayNotAtAll, Jan 2016

2024-10-02 06:15:01

Whenever I encounter a 30 second video ad, I silently think "This is a big
waste of my time", before spending 2 more hours watching meme compliations for
the rest of the night
-PM_ME_UR_A_CUP, Oct 2016

2024-09-27 22:45:01

In high school, girls dating college guys were cool. In college, guys dating
girls in high school are losers.
-Durden11, Aug 2016

2024-09-27 04:15:00

Farts are ghosts of your food
-[deleted], Nov 2014

2024-09-26 11:45:03

If people on a planet 65 million light years away look at earth, they see
dinosaurs.
-Rowhardorrowhome, Nov 2013

2024-09-26 05:45:03

The unspoken heroes of Reddit Karma are those who filter their subreddits by
"New" instead of "hot".
-nopoonintended, Jun 2016

2024-09-19 18:15:01

You should be able to scan the barcode of books you already own and get an
ebook version for free.
-BasrieI, Jan 2015

2024-09-15 11:15:01

A gallon of gas is less expensive than guacamole from Chipotle.
-jewrdan, Jan 2015

2024-09-13 13:15:01

We admire hair when its on someone's head but the second it is no longer
attached to the head it becomes gross.
-blueandred98cole, Aug 2016

2024-09-13 10:15:01

After the credits of a film that is "based on a true story" there should be a
brief summary of the differences between the film and reality.
-charstar91, Mar 2016

2024-09-13 07:45:01

If your wife has a friend that annoys you, don't tell your wife to stop being
friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is.
-thehofstetter, Jun 2015

2024-09-11 18:45:01

"I feel stupid and contagious" from Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana would
be a great slogan against the anti-vaccine movement.
-jccad, Feb 2015

2024-09-11 07:15:01

Monkeys made it to space before we did without even trying.
-Zambeee, Feb 2015

2024-09-11 05:45:00

If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept
seperately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together.
-Thumbhat, Aug 2016

2024-09-11 05:15:01

Some badass motherfucker in the past domesticated a fucking wolf.
-DamienHanrahan, May 2014

2024-09-11 03:45:01

If someone 50 years ago were told that there would one day only be eight
planets, they would think something incredibly exciting happened.
-HaughtyLOL, Jul 2014

2024-09-10 11:45:01

"Netflix and _____" would make a great black card for Cards Against Humanity.
-kyolaroni, Sep 2015

2024-09-07 07:45:01

Every public bathroom toilet should have a foot pedal to flush instead of a
handle.
-Xx-Arseus-xX, Jul 2016

2024-09-07 04:45:01

At one point in my life, I was exactly pi years old.
-Sousaphoney, Jun 2015

2024-09-06 01:15:01

Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, thank goodness it's the
yawn.
-[deleted], Oct 2016

2024-09-06 00:45:01

Walruses are sabertooth seals.
-aprilshowerz, Feb 2016

2024-09-03 20:15:05

As the mom of a 5 year old, I don't understand why all ELI5 answers aren't
"Because I said so."
-fitbottomedgrl, Nov 2015

2024-09-03 19:45:00

I only use about 3% of toilet paper for wiping my ass, the rest is just for
not getting shit on my hands.
-juanito883, Jan 2016

2024-09-03 09:45:00

I wonder how many people's heartbeats are perfectly in sync right now?
-TheHeroicOnion, May 2016

2024-09-03 02:45:01

The first rule of fight club is what prevented the movie from getting spoiled
to me for the last 15 years
-FiachB7, Feb 2015

2024-08-31 10:15:01

Why did the Empire bother to compact their garbage if they just ejected it
into space anyway?
-AMeanCow, Oct 2014

2024-08-29 19:45:04

If my dream girl exists, I'll never meet her because she prefers to chill at
home
-pupuwalker, Feb 2016

2024-08-27 06:45:01

I'm a guy living with two girls and they'll never know how hard I try to keep
the toilet bowl clean by "peeing off" marks and stains.
-jag5213, Apr 2016

2024-08-26 16:15:06

Patriotism is not about loving your country blindly. It is about accepting its
flaws and solving them little by little
-Gerakison, Aug 2016

2024-08-26 11:45:00

Politicians should have to wear the logos of companies / interest groups that
they get money from on their suits like NASCAR drivers.
-NudeTayneMNW, Dec 2014

2024-08-20 11:15:01

Taken 4 should be set in a tibetan monastery. Liam Neeson has found his
daughter, and his wife, now he must find his inner self.
-danr995, Jan 2015

2024-08-20 10:15:01

If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept
seperately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together.
-gridster2, Apr 2015

2024-08-20 07:45:00

As a 20 year old man I still don't feel confident enough to brush my teeth in
the shirt I plan on wearing today.
-Greenguy1996, Oct 2016

2024-08-19 20:45:06

What if the reason there are no witches, vampires and werewolves is because
the "witch trials" in the 17th century actually worked?
-edubminum, Sep 2015

2024-08-19 20:15:06

Burglars must hate baby-proofed houses. Trying to rummage through drawers and
cabinets? Can't get them opened more than an inch. Television bolted to the
wall. Trying to sneak stealthily from room to room? Goddamn baby gates.
-otterhilarity, Oct 2016

2024-08-19 19:45:00

If shadowbanned users could see other shadowbanned user's posts and comments,
it would make for an interesting "underground" reddit community.
-Couchtiger23, Jun 2015

2024-08-19 16:45:01

Lots of rap songs are going to sound really corny once weed is legalized
nationally.
-raymiedubbs, Mar 2015

2024-08-18 18:15:01

There should be a website/subreddit where people can post a picture of
themselves and bisexuals can show them a picture of someone of the opposite
sex that is about the same level of attractiveness as them. That way we get a
more unbiased idea of how attractive/unattractive we are
-thatfcknguy, Jul 2016

2024-08-18 17:15:01

There should be a holiday called Galaxy Day. Where NASA shuts everything down
(no light pollution) and everyone goes outside to look at the stars.
-Lenners234, Nov 2015

2024-08-18 10:45:06

"I work for one of the richest companies in the world" sounds a lot better
than "I work at Walmart"
-caseystrain, Jun 2015

2024-08-17 14:45:06

Now that I'm an adult, if I ever found a portal to Narnia in my closet I would
probably start storing things in Narnia. I imagine building a large storage
shed on Narnia property. I wonder if zoning would be an issue...
-bmorebeardly, Jan 2016

2024-08-17 10:15:00

I wonder if trees are allergic to our sperm too.
-kinngshaun, Mar 2016

2024-08-17 00:15:01

What if extra-terrestrial doesnt come visit earth because they're light years
away and fear the dinosaurs they see.
-newyork89, Mar 2015

2024-08-16 22:45:01

The way that chillies have evolved to avoid being eaten has completely
backfired
-BlueD_, Nov 2014

2024-08-16 10:45:01

I've never been big on going to Japan, but if Nintendo made a Disney-land
style theme park called Nintendoland with all the different characters and
worlds as attractions, I'd blow all of my savings on the first flight over
-ccbuddyrider, Feb 2015

2024-08-16 07:45:01

Anakin Skywalker always complained about not being taken seriously, whined
constantly, and obsessed over one girl for decades who he called "m'lady". He
was the original neckbeard.
-[deleted], Jan 2016

2024-08-16 07:15:01

If you're 1 in a million, then there's 7,125 people exactly like you.
-pogopenis, Sep 2014

2024-08-15 16:45:01

The guy who did the cinematography for the film JFK (1991), has "shot JFK" on
his resume.
-realwalkindude, Dec 2015

2024-08-15 08:15:01

Daredevil is a blind superhero whose superpower is that he can see.
-080087, Sep 2015

2024-08-15 03:15:01

When ever I think I'm going to get laid I ferociously clean my room. It's a
win/win regardless of if I get laid or not
-yup_username_checks, Mar 2016

2024-08-15 01:45:00

If we can't reach Google we assume our internet is down
-SirNickParks, May 2016

2024-08-15 01:15:01

Bullets are the only things that do their job only after they are fired.
-Flatline_hun, Jul 2015

2024-08-14 21:45:03

If the Bachelor was Mormon, the show would only be 1 episode.
-Urwinator, Sep 2013

2024-08-14 21:15:01

If a World War 3 happens, it would get really awkward online as we are able to
talk with our enemies
-HowManyLettersCanFi, Jan 2016

2024-08-14 17:45:06

I spend 1% of the time feeling confident and the other 99% trying to figure
out how to get that feeling back.
-Third_Redditor_Ever, Aug 2016

2024-08-14 16:15:01

Even if you managed to legitimately catch a ghost on camera, it's so easy to
fake that nobody would ever believe you.
-DaeronTheHandsome, Dec 2014

2024-08-14 12:45:00

Because telescopes work using mirrors, we will never know if space is full of
space vampires.
-[deleted], Oct 2016

2024-08-14 02:15:02

There should be a 'binge on' button in Netflix that automatically skips the
theme song.
-storietorie, Aug 2016

2024-08-14 01:45:01

I hope Steve Harvey doesn't announce the powerball numbers.
-Vladimir_Is_Pootin, Jan 2016

2024-08-13 19:15:05

The most tragic victims of irony are that trees were cut down to make copies
of The Lorax.
-__Corvus__, Jul 2016

2024-08-13 17:45:01

One day, I will be as bad with technology as my parents are and that terrifies
me.
-CommieOfLove, Dec 2014

2024-08-13 04:45:01

Someone should start an uber-like service just with pick up trucks to help
move beds or pick up big packages.
-yestopoopjokes, Aug 2016

2024-08-12 22:45:02

About 30 years ago, President Nixon was almost impeached for wire tapping one
building. Today, the U.S. Government (including the President) can record data
from all our phones
-Musicaltheaterguy, May 2015

2024-08-12 16:45:01

I have never seen a advertisement for Candy Corn. Ever
-pumpkin_seeds_, Nov 2015

2024-08-12 15:45:01

If i owned a taser I'd probably get curious to see how it feels and taser
myself and that's why i dont own a taser.
-Cock_Vomit, Mar 2016

2024-08-12 13:45:01

To announce who the new Batman was they should have released an image of the
actor in costume then have people work out who he is from the face to see if
Batman's disguise is good enough.
-do0_, Jul 2015

2024-08-12 06:45:01

2017 is less than 3 months away, and I still feel like 2010 was just 2 years
ago..
-Dr_Mphuthi, Oct 2016

2024-08-12 04:15:02

My child will likely never know the reflex when a song ends to automatically
'hear' the next song start playing in his head... some people reading this
here probably don't even know what I'm talking about.
-therealfarmerjoe, Apr 2015

2024-08-12 03:45:01

None of the billions of decisions you've made in your life did anything to
stop you from reading this.
-Nessfull, Sep 2014

2024-08-12 00:45:01

People born in 1969 can't use 69 in their username without people thinking
they're immature teenagers.
-gufu-, May 2016

2024-08-11 23:45:02

Teach a Parrot to say Parrot and you basically have a Pokemon
-ekclone, Mar 2016

2024-08-11 21:15:01

If Kim Jong Un does anything really impressive and tells people, no one will
ever believe him
-IAMAWalrus_AMA, Dec 2015

2024-08-11 20:15:02

In my 33 years of life I've never once seen a squirrel shit or piss
-fagetaboutit, Jun 2015

2024-08-11 19:15:01

According to a study, when you begin a sentence with "according to a study,"
people will believe anything you say.
-Ragnar_Targaryen, Jun 2015

2024-08-11 17:45:01

They need to make phones fully waterproof so we can start pushing people into
pools again.
-Benshannaboy, Jun 2016

2024-08-11 16:45:02

Pregnancy is a sexually transmitted disease, caused by an agressive
single-celled microorganism, feeding upon the host and causing rapid
cell-growth
-chrowbech, Dec 2014

2024-08-11 14:15:01

When I was younger, I thought 21 year olds were so old and had their life
together. Now that I'm older, I think 21 year olds are just big children who
still are lost in life.
-sarahdempsey1993, Sep 2015

2024-08-11 13:45:04

If a zombie outbreak happened on Halloween, the resulting post apocalyptic
world would be much more visually interesting.
-Wasabi_Nasal_Spray, Oct 2015

2024-08-11 07:45:02

Kids growing up now will regard the pre-internet era as some kind of
unimaginable dark age
-earlyamerican, Mar 2015

2024-08-10 19:15:01

Microwave ovens need a 'Midnight Snack' button that disables the dings and
beeps.
-himejirocks, Jun 2016

2024-08-10 18:15:01

I see the Google logo everyday, but I don't know which letter is which color.
-[deleted], Dec 2014

2024-08-08 07:45:01

If a human sperm cell contains 37.5 megabytes of data, and I have 215 million
sperm cells, then I have an 8 petabyte ballsack.
-mcc5159, Apr 2015

2024-08-07 08:45:01

If you're attractive with a smile, you're cute. If you're attractive without a
smile, you're hot.
-Coralcell, Jul 2016

2024-08-07 08:15:00

Someone should develop a "time lapsule", a time lapse camera designed to
operate for several decades without maintenance that can be permanently
installed in a public area.
-1up_for_life, Jun 2016

2024-08-05 19:45:01

An option on Netflix to watch the trailer of the movie would help out on
deciding what to watch
-iJustObserve, Oct 2014

2024-08-05 17:45:00

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
-Fivelon, Jan 2015

2024-08-01 16:15:01

Sometimes I wonder if my life is in shambles because of all the chain letters
that I never forwarded to ten of my closest friends.
-OccasionallyWitty, Jan 2016

2024-07-25 12:15:00

I've always wanted to be able to hear English and not understand it.
-voltox3, Mar 2016

2024-07-21 19:15:01

The swimming pool in the Titanic is still full.
-Ashe225, May 2015

2024-07-20 08:15:00

There should be a Rotten Tomatoes type site that rates critics instead of
films so we know whose opinions to completely ignore.
-Phister_BeHole, Jan 2015

2024-07-17 04:15:01

Can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that the two most revered
scientists in the world today are a Black man and a quadriplegic man? The
world still has its problems, but that's pretty damn cool.
-themightyheptagon, Aug 2015

2024-07-15 06:45:01

When you see a word missing an e (like Flickr or Tumblr), that's the present
trying to look like the future. When you see a word with an extra e (think Ye
Olde Towne Bar & Grille), that's the present trying to look like the past.
-mrsaturdaypants, Apr 2015

2024-07-11 19:15:01

If KFC sold buckets of just their breaded chicken skin, I'd buy it.
-Mofoe_Cake, Nov 2015

2024-07-11 15:15:01

I wonder if 50% is considered a passing grade in meteorology school?
-iwishiwasbritish, Mar 2014

2024-07-05 13:15:01

If the Presbyterian church now has gay marriage as a part of its religion,
laws banning gay marriage now infringe on the religious freedom of Christians.
-Dixzon, Jun 2014

2024-07-03 18:45:01

If Kanye West becomes president, it will be the first time in history that
millions of people have seen the First Lady's nudes.
-sacala, Sep 2015

2024-06-28 02:15:01

Imagine if "ping pong" was "pong ping"
-br1dgefour, Sep 2016

2024-06-22 08:45:01

What if when we die, we instantly become a baby being born, but we temporarily
maintain the memory of dying, and that's why babies are born crying?
-gpace1216, Oct 2014

2024-06-22 00:45:01

If having a small penis was really an issue, the "small penis genes" would
have gone extinct long time ago.
-Piano1987, Oct 2016

2024-06-11 18:45:01

Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you. You feel more paranoid than
protected?
-bbttrraann, Sep 2014