Eshara on Nostr: I was born in the UK - in London, in Guys Hospital in 1995 - which is weird cos I’m ...

I was born in the UK - in London, in Guys Hospital in 1995 - which is weird cos I’m closer to St.Thomas’ 🤔

This is my home. If you send me away on a boat, I’d end up back here… or not, cos I don’t know how to sail 😭

I am not of Anglo Saxon decent - that I know of (Sri Lanka was colonised by the Portuguese, Dutch and British at various points in history).

Some might not consider me English, which is totally cool, I don’t think I’m English either cos my ethnicity is Sinhalese with a little kiwi (curtesy of mystery grandad/mum).

I am, however, British. That is my nationality.

Right now, this is my home, and has been my whole life. I love it. It will always be a part of me.

I especially love that I grew up in London, cos this stuff doesn’t matter unless you’re filling in a form. It’s not something I sit around and think about, I just know it in my heart. I love that my mum isn’t English cos I get to hear about how different her childhood was. If it wasn’t for that, I probably wouldn’t know how amazing outdoor showers are. I was so stubborn to try it when I visited Sri Lanka last. Now, I crave it. I love having had friends from England, Ireland, Portugal, Spain, Jamaica, Nigeria, Eritrea, Afghanistan, Iraq, Trinidad and Tobago, Ivory Coast, Ghana, Ethiopia, China, Italy, Switzerland, America, France, turkey, Germany, Sri Lanka, India, South Korea, Japan, Dominican Republic etc.

I wouldn’t be who I am today if I didn’t grow up with so much love and culture around me. Granted I might be a little ridiculous sometimes, but I like who I am cos I know I have pure intentions and I try my best to understand people. I don’t always understand people - like right now with the rioters - but I am trying. I don’t care where you’re from, if I love you, you’re my family. Which means I have sisters of Afghan, Eritrean, Spanish and Portuguese ethnicity - and brothers who are of Indian, Italian, Nigerian, English and Sinhalese ethnicity. And we’re all British. I have always believed that family is where you find it. Same with home.

I can’t ignore that we do have our problems as a country, as a kingdom. Even so, how does responding in violence solve anything? I grew up around violence, and I never saw any good come of it. Just more violence. I take it as a life lesson - though I don’t know that I needed that much of a lesson 😅. I made a deal with the universe though - I’ll get my ass organised and in return I would like a mostly peaceful life with quite a bit of adventure and lots of love - that is actually a lot to ask I realise but I’m still hopeful. I just think there are no real winners in war. I understand self defence, but if you’re angry and looking for a fight cos nobody is listening, I’d recommend you buy a punching bag (pillows work for me), meditate, find your zen and work smarter to use your words with the people who deserve it. The world now thinks that we’re animals - no, not animals. Animals behave better than us. That we’re angry idiots. I’m sad, cos I know that that’s not who we are.

Im okay if people are protesting peacefully that they are unhappy with immigration. That they don’t think people like my mum should be here or that the children of immigrants should be here (🙋🏽‍♀️). It’s hurtful. I cried when I saw some of the things being said, and I don’t agree at all with what they’re saying about any immigrant, but I do think they have a right to say it if that’s what they believe. I agree with them that Police shouldn’t be arresting people just for that. I also understand and agree that the government aren’t doing their jobs properly. This is where my agreement ends. People will think I’m mad, but I’d rather have freedom of speech and disagree with people (peacefully) than not be allowed to voice an opinion and be arrested for comments online - which is what’s happening, and will likely be happening more, thanks to the rioters who have given government and the police an excuse to come down harder…

The media tell half truths (of course), people aren’t acting rational, the police aren’t letting people speak their truth and the people are responding with violence - though I don’t think that’s any excuse. I still don’t know what’s real. Are rioters really on their way to London to smash cars and burn stuff? Or is the media talking about a peaceful protest with a few dangerous racist plonkers? I don’t know. I know the media can lie and twist things, but there wouldn’t be anything to twist if the people weren’t committing violent acts. I do know that.

I really want to give the protesters the benefit of the doubt, even if I disagree with them. Freedom of speech is important, always. But I just see non-stop rioting/looting and burning now, and I will never agree with that. It’s inhumane.

Anyway, this was my rant. Hope I didn’t bum anyone out. Just needed to vent.