atyh on Nostr: I once paid to take Jordan Peterson's more in depth personality test. While much of ...

I once paid to take Jordan Peterson's more in depth personality test.
While much of it was not a surprise, one aspect in particular was...
The realm of Politeness.
The Politeness in the test is not simple niceties. At its core, it is caring about what others think.
I scored 16%. Which is unusually low.
This is probably because on a normal day, I would have to work really hard to care any less what others think.
In fact, it would have to occur to me to think about it in the first place.
Some might view this as a gift. And in some ways and situations it is.
But in others, it isn't. At all.

I have actually cultivated empathy, and have worked at it. But in a way that is probably a little different. Ive tried to take the fact that I am relatively unaffected by what others think, and have tried to turn it upside down by looking for the spark of good in the people I meet, and then relating to that good, regardless of what others think.
Its sort of a hack. But it works. Most of the time.
But many people base relationships on initial vibe. And some people can feel that I am not real susceptible to peer pressure, or shame, or control, or manipulation, and they are very intimidated by it. Their immediate response is to protect themselves, before I have said a word. Even thought my intention is to see what is valuable about them. I dont take that personally now that I understand it better. I just keep looking at the good and keep trying to relate to that regardless.

My wife, courageous woman that she is, is exactly the opposite. She scored unusually high on the Politeness scale. As you can imagine, this contrast has led to he both laughing hysterically, and being utterly horrified by what I have said to people at times. But in this relationship, I have discovered another unusual superpower associated with this defect... I can look her in the eyes, and tell her I love her and mean it, regardless if what is going on. Because I choose my emotions. No one else does.
This weird ability to laser love is one that I cherish as I have come to understand it better. I use it now, when I am out in the world. When I can sense that someone has been hearing nothing but bullshit from other people for too long, I use my sharp tongue, and lack of caring what those other people think, to send a missile of encouragement through all that bull shit. It has become one of my very favorite things in the world to do. And the response is sometimes astonishing.

Try it sometime. When you see that person struggling. Dont worry about being polite, dont worry about causing a scene, or what people might think... just SAY IT. Say the good. Say the loving thing. Give the negativity of the world a held high middle finger, and speak life to people who need it. Which is often everyone.
Give that grace like a weapon against bullshit. Besides. What you give accumulates and comes back to you. And if you have a tendency to say some of the other things that come out of my mouth sometimes, youre going to need all the grace coming back to you that you can get.