My wife and I are attempting a new habit: between 5pm dinner and 7pm bedtime, parental shouting is banned
Soooooo much easier said than done
Totally failed last night
Idea is sound though, in that a parent shouting only stimulates their nervous system, rather than making them feel safe and comfortable pre-sleep.
BUT
When the 4.5 yr old tests, tests, and tests you, it's really one of the hardest things I've ever tried. It wasn't the shouting and screaming due to not being allowed a shower instead of a bath, or not being first to get out bath, but the throwing of water all over me and the 2yr old
I snapped
Hit the bath
"Stop f*cking doing that"
Awful
4.5 yr old girl just crumbles into sobbing...
It's ok, we made up, hugged, I apologised and took ownership of my actions
What's been most interesting is the idea that our kids are our greatest teachers. Whilst what triggers us most is actually a reflection on ourselves. Often a lack of ability to express oneself as a child is a driver.
"Kids should be seen but not heard" type mentality rearing it's head now as an adult
We're aspiring to raise a complete 25 year old, balanced in all area's of life, and raring for independence. This includes an emotional intelligence only possible through authentic connection with one's primary caregiver (parent).
Part of that is allowing them to express their emotions. All the time. Any time. Shout. Scream. Ok, go for it. But last night was a good example of how it's not always possible to hold that space for them, and allow the emotion. Sometimes I just can't handle it. I explode.
Anyways
What a ride as a parent!
We go again
Sending good vibes all
jakewoodhouse / Jake Woodhouse
npub1lt…6k4fh
2025-01-18 00:50:42
Author Public Key
npub1ltz38gwwmmg740r5qlqjn96gth5thv5wmhkwlgqks9lu3485q7jsy6k4fhPublished at
2025-01-18 00:50:42Event JSON
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"content": "My wife and I are attempting a new habit: between 5pm dinner and 7pm bedtime, parental shouting is banned\n\nSoooooo much easier said than done\n\nTotally failed last night\n\nIdea is sound though, in that a parent shouting only stimulates their nervous system, rather than making them feel safe and comfortable pre-sleep.\n\nBUT\n\nWhen the 4.5 yr old tests, tests, and tests you, it's really one of the hardest things I've ever tried. It wasn't the shouting and screaming due to not being allowed a shower instead of a bath, or not being first to get out bath, but the throwing of water all over me and the 2yr old\n\nI snapped\n\nHit the bath\n\n\"Stop f*cking doing that\"\n\nAwful\n\n4.5 yr old girl just crumbles into sobbing...\n\nIt's ok, we made up, hugged, I apologised and took ownership of my actions\n\nWhat's been most interesting is the idea that our kids are our greatest teachers. Whilst what triggers us most is actually a reflection on ourselves. Often a lack of ability to express oneself as a child is a driver.\n\n\"Kids should be seen but not heard\" type mentality rearing it's head now as an adult\n\nWe're aspiring to raise a complete 25 year old, balanced in all area's of life, and raring for independence. This includes an emotional intelligence only possible through authentic connection with one's primary caregiver (parent).\n\nPart of that is allowing them to express their emotions. All the time. Any time. Shout. Scream. Ok, go for it. But last night was a good example of how it's not always possible to hold that space for them, and allow the emotion. Sometimes I just can't handle it. I explode. \n\nAnyways\n\nWhat a ride as a parent!\n\nWe go again\n\nSending good vibes all",
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