Here’s some context for my post about not starting a reply with, “No offense, but…”
On LinkedIn this morning I was reading through some posts, and one post had a comment that started with that phrase. And, of course, there was a reason. The comment was likely to be interpreted by the OP as offensive.
That’s the point.
When someone starts a reply with the “no offense” disclaimer, they already KNOW that the reply is likely to be perceived as insulting in some way.
And they don’t care. They do it anyway.
If you really don’t want to cause offense, stop, think, and organize your thoughts and words. Whatever you were about to say – whatever point you wanted to make – can probably be made without causing offense. Don’t be lazy. Think it through, and re-compose your reply.
Unless, of course, you really are a jerk, and simply MUST make an offensive comment.
But I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, and that’s why I’m giving you a recommendation about a better way of writing. If you really don’t want to offend, and if your point really is valid, there’s a way to write what you want to say that is more likely to be received well by the one you’re writing to.
Now, let’s go to the other side of the coin.
There are times when it’s okay, even imperative, to offend.
Call out racism. Call out privilege. Call out improper behavior. Call out false reporting. If you offend, so what? Here is a truism for citizens of the Fediverse, citizens of nations, and citizens of the planet:
Good citizenship offends bad citizens.
Bob Young /
npub1d5…9eu62
2025-04-06 02:13:50
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2025-04-06 02:13:50Event JSON
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"content": "Here’s some context for my post about not starting a reply with, “No offense, but…”\n\nOn LinkedIn this morning I was reading through some posts, and one post had a comment that started with that phrase. And, of course, there was a reason. The comment was likely to be interpreted by the OP as offensive.\n\nThat’s the point.\n\nWhen someone starts a reply with the “no offense” disclaimer, they already KNOW that the reply is likely to be perceived as insulting in some way. \n\nAnd they don’t care. They do it anyway.\n\nIf you really don’t want to cause offense, stop, think, and organize your thoughts and words. Whatever you were about to say – whatever point you wanted to make – can probably be made without causing offense. Don’t be lazy. Think it through, and re-compose your reply.\n\nUnless, of course, you really are a jerk, and simply MUST make an offensive comment.\n\nBut I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, and that’s why I’m giving you a recommendation about a better way of writing. If you really don’t want to offend, and if your point really is valid, there’s a way to write what you want to say that is more likely to be received well by the one you’re writing to.\n\nNow, let’s go to the other side of the coin.\n\nThere are times when it’s okay, even imperative, to offend.\n\nCall out racism. Call out privilege. Call out improper behavior. Call out false reporting. If you offend, so what? Here is a truism for citizens of the Fediverse, citizens of nations, and citizens of the planet:\n\nGood citizenship offends bad citizens.",
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