BenG77 on Nostr: Finding Strength in Vulnerability Thanks for the reminder, jointofindlove I’d like ...

Finding Strength in Vulnerability
Thanks for the reminder, jointofindlove (npub1ujm…nemc)

I’d like to share a bit about my path to becoming a man. It’s been a journey – one that took me 40 years and a wake-up call I didn’t see coming: my wife left me after 17 years of marriage and a 30-year friendship. That hit me hard, but it also opened the door to parts of myself I’d kept hidden – my vulnerability, my emotions, my fears.

Growing Up Without a Map:
I grew up in Berlin without a father or a healthy masculine role model. The ’80s and ’90s weren’t exactly a golden age for positive male figures. My friends and I – all of us raised by strong women – like ALL of my best friends!!! - saw men around us either absent or lost in their own ego trips, seemingly disconnected from their families. It was a time when, honestly, men seemed to have let a lot of people down.

Breaking Old Patterns:
It took me four decades to understand that it’s okay not to have all the answers. Just being with my problems – not running from them or trying to fix everything instantly – was a big shift. I realized that the journey to becoming a man doesn’t mean shutting down emotions; it means opening up to them.

Relearning Emotion:
After decades of holding back tears, now even the cheesiest Disney movie gets to me. I’ve learned that just being open to feel, without always needing to act on those feelings, is powerful. Most of the time, simply allowing emotions to exist is enough.

Redefining Masculinity:
Rewiring my inner framework took three years. For me, becoming a man has meant getting softer, staying grounded, and realizing that sometimes, the strongest thing I can do is to feel and express my emotions. No quick fixes, no avoidance – just presence.

That’s been my journey to manhood:

quoting note14cp…vjgw

I just came to the conclusion that loving a man that has too much masculine energy and not a small percentage of feminine energy is not healthy. Every man must have a small percentage of feminine energy to balance and being able to handle their emotions first and express them properly. A man with a small necessary percentage of feminine energy will know how to make you feel loved because he will naturally show it to you in the way you need him to express it, in your own love language, truly caring about you in every aspect.

Ego kills relationships.

Same with an extremely feminine women, over dramatic type of women who always want to start -real- fights. Men think these are women with an extreme masculine behavior, but the truth is that it has nothing to do with masculine energy, because if they had at least just a bit, they could control their emotions and be a little more rational without losing their mind.

#lovestr #relationshipstr #masculinity #femininity #balance #matchmaking