Pawzy on Nostr: When imouto was up, I worked with Rae along with a group of 4-5 moderators as a ...

When imouto was up, I worked with Rae along with a group of 4-5 moderators as a co-admin. Recently I got pulled into a group chat that I joined with the intention to discuss administrative actions, such as server configurations, blacklisted ips, etc. that was actually just made to be largely critical of Rae. It led to a 1:1 conversation with one of the group members after I disclaimed that
1. I was, at the time, a co-admin of baise,
2. I was priorly an admin imouto and eepy, and
3. I was in the group chat to discuss admin things only and wasn't there to play politics and take sides.

Effectively, this person laid bare the extent of their dislike for Raes influence on pedi and was attempting to glean from me why I was an admin on imouto despite the presence of cp, nazis, etc on the platform. And/or why I didn't do anything about it.

Here’s where I fucked up, and what was the breaking point in prior events where I made this mistake as well.

In that conversation, I attempted to describe my frustrations with moderation practices of imouto at the time, namely how inconsistent and uncoordinated it was. However, I did not push back on the claims made at the beginning of the conversation that set the foundations for the conversation. I let the framing go unchallenged and in fact leaned into the criticism by expressing my own grievances with the mod team, without clarifying or pushing back on the fact that I did not think the team had ever knowingly tolerated CP or Nazi users.

Leaving out that push back was not just passive, but misleading. Intentionally so. I did this to maintain a position on both sides of the conflict, and avoid making enemies. That is not how the world works, and its intentionally dishonest.

I’ve done this as well in other cases, both public and private, offering vague and fuzzy language that meant to play the passive and let others interpret my words into their own narrative. This only gives credibility to claims I do not support. In some cases I would take a blatantly two-faced stance to maintain relationships that actively conflict with each other.

This is actively harmful to people I interact with in the community and I want to catch myself here and cut this shit out of how I interact with people.

If further elaboration is desired, let me know and Ill reply when able, or if anyone cares and I'm overblowing this.