Yeah, self-discovery seems to be a central theme in my relationship as well (though with kids, we took a more research and preparation approach). Interestingly, others often see us as a model/stable couple who have everything figured out. We jokingly attribute that to our horoscope signs 😁
But I think it's more that we've been together since high school and we've mutually shaped our personalities. We were both late bloomers with less rigid egos back then. After we got together, our egos were constantly kept in check through our relationship. This seems to be a challenge for the "singles phenomenon" - if you remain single well into your 30s, your ego and personal needs can grow so strong that you might have problems accommodating anyone besides yourself.
Still, there are days when I wonder how much of my identity is truly me, and how much was/is influenced by peer pressure or sunken cost fallacy. I've read that you should think about yourself as a whole package - accepting that everything you do, good or bad, is you. Rather than rejecting parts you dislike, accept that it was you then, including all the flaws and decisions, without blaming others. This helps me frame my negative thinking more positively.
If I were playing a relationship RPG, I would again invest heavily in the recovery stat, which I believe is better than having an almost perfect relationship that falls apart after a single conflict. Because whatever difficulties we've been through, we've been able to resolve them, partly by, as you said, not giving up on each other 😊
Subema
npub1tg…vj8mh
2025-04-10 05:33:18
in reply to nevent1q…j9tr
Author Public Key
npub1tgnp5cf3r9rdjvn2c4geney59tsdzyggddwzr2y9wpfugt4agjqqlvj8mhPublished at
2025-04-10 05:33:18Event JSON
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"content": "Yeah, self-discovery seems to be a central theme in my relationship as well (though with kids, we took a more research and preparation approach). Interestingly, others often see us as a model/stable couple who have everything figured out. We jokingly attribute that to our horoscope signs 😁\n\nBut I think it's more that we've been together since high school and we've mutually shaped our personalities. We were both late bloomers with less rigid egos back then. After we got together, our egos were constantly kept in check through our relationship. This seems to be a challenge for the \"singles phenomenon\" - if you remain single well into your 30s, your ego and personal needs can grow so strong that you might have problems accommodating anyone besides yourself.\n\nStill, there are days when I wonder how much of my identity is truly me, and how much was/is influenced by peer pressure or sunken cost fallacy. I've read that you should think about yourself as a whole package - accepting that everything you do, good or bad, is you. Rather than rejecting parts you dislike, accept that it was you then, including all the flaws and decisions, without blaming others. This helps me frame my negative thinking more positively.\n\nIf I were playing a relationship RPG, I would again invest heavily in the recovery stat, which I believe is better than having an almost perfect relationship that falls apart after a single conflict. Because whatever difficulties we've been through, we've been able to resolve them, partly by, as you said, not giving up on each other 😊",
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