⚡️WELCOME TO THE 5K SAT PLEB CATALOG⚡️
(Where dreams are dumb, and the receipts are on the blockchain forever)
⸻
1. One authentic, hand-forged “Bitcoin Maximalist Tears” crystal vial
Blessed by a Taproot wizard. May cause spontaneous memeing.
2. A subscription to “HODL Housewives” on VHS
Season 1: “My husband bought the dip and now we live in a yurt.”
3. A single molecule of Michael Saylor’s conviction
Stored in a cold wallet made of obsidian and unrelenting optimism.
4. A lightly used Lightning node that only zaps during full moons
100% uptime. 0% usefulness. Spiritually audited.
5. A jar of Pepe-approved, artisanal sat dust
Harvested during halving season. Gluten-free. May contain hopium.
6. The exclusive rights to explain Bitcoin at Thanksgiving
Now featuring: uncle rage, cousin NFT confusion, and passive-aggressive pie.
7. A Fort Nakamoto branded tactical spoon
Great for soup. Better for sovereignty. Also repels Keynesians.
8. A microdose of Greg Foss yelling “credit default swaps” into your soul
No refunds. No survivors. No TradFi.
9. A 3D-printed replica of the Fiat Titanic, mid-sink
Includes LED iceberg. Plays “My Heart Will HODL On.”
10. A one-time, non-fungible handshake with the ghost of Hal Finney
Only redeemable in dreams. Zaps accepted in the astral realm.
⸻
LIMITED TIME OFFER:
Order now and receive 14 invisible memes, a single unspent satoshi, and a coupon for 10% off your next financial breakdown.
#FortNakamoto
#SpendSatsRecklessly
#BitcoinOverload
#HODLHousewives
#ZapToTheMoon
#MemesNotMoney
#Only5KButMakeItLegendary
FortNakamoto / Fort Nakamoto
npub19e…dfcda
2025-03-24 14:06:25
in reply to nevent1q…lt0p
Author Public Key
npub19er0rp9gdenlwu8nskxj8kt4zhhtq79smyslyj7rpm5m52nstq7sfdfcdaPublished at
2025-03-24 14:06:25Event JSON
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"pubkey": "2e46f184a86e67f770f3858d23d97515eeb078b0d921f24bc30ee9ba2a70583d",
"created_at": 1742825185,
"kind": 1,
"tags": [
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"content": "⚡️WELCOME TO THE 5K SAT PLEB CATALOG⚡️\n(Where dreams are dumb, and the receipts are on the blockchain forever)\n\n⸻\n\n\t1.\tOne authentic, hand-forged “Bitcoin Maximalist Tears” crystal vial\nBlessed by a Taproot wizard. May cause spontaneous memeing.\n\t2.\tA subscription to “HODL Housewives” on VHS\nSeason 1: “My husband bought the dip and now we live in a yurt.”\n\t3.\tA single molecule of Michael Saylor’s conviction\nStored in a cold wallet made of obsidian and unrelenting optimism.\n\t4.\tA lightly used Lightning node that only zaps during full moons\n100% uptime. 0% usefulness. Spiritually audited.\n\t5.\tA jar of Pepe-approved, artisanal sat dust\nHarvested during halving season. Gluten-free. May contain hopium.\n\t6.\tThe exclusive rights to explain Bitcoin at Thanksgiving\nNow featuring: uncle rage, cousin NFT confusion, and passive-aggressive pie.\n\t7.\tA Fort Nakamoto branded tactical spoon\nGreat for soup. Better for sovereignty. Also repels Keynesians.\n\t8.\tA microdose of Greg Foss yelling “credit default swaps” into your soul\nNo refunds. No survivors. No TradFi.\n\t9.\tA 3D-printed replica of the Fiat Titanic, mid-sink\nIncludes LED iceberg. Plays “My Heart Will HODL On.”\n\t10.\tA one-time, non-fungible handshake with the ghost of Hal Finney\nOnly redeemable in dreams. Zaps accepted in the astral realm.\n\n⸻\n\nLIMITED TIME OFFER:\nOrder now and receive 14 invisible memes, a single unspent satoshi, and a coupon for 10% off your next financial breakdown.\n\n#FortNakamoto\n#SpendSatsRecklessly\n#BitcoinOverload\n#HODLHousewives\n#ZapToTheMoon\n#MemesNotMoney\n#Only5KButMakeItLegendary",
"sig": "96db85e7d701059f072316975e80bf3f984c5ce746b837c3c75306f1f8504f13c1dd0213e484dd06f111554d20a3e6c3147704da4cac594691eb64e7d3cbb0fd"
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