We were told we were special.
We were told we were the future.
We were told if we just studied hard, crossed oceans, and learned to pronounce “schedule” the right way—we’d make it.
Well, we made it.
Right into cubicles.
Right into LinkedIn echo chambers.
Right into PowerPoint purgatory.
Welcome to the empire, citizen. Now update that spreadsheet.
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👨‍💼 From Top of the Class to Tools of the Class
We were the IIT-wannabes, the H1-B pilgrims, the chosen brown templates for “diversity done right.”
We exchanged the soul for a salary.
We mastered Agile, but forgot how to move.
We learned to “circle back,” but lost the map home.
And while Bitcoin whispered freedom, we scoffed.
“Regulate it,” we cried. “Where’s the compliance training?”
We watched crypto like we watched porn—curiously, secretly, guiltily, and never in public.
Now it’s 2025 and...
We’re still optimizing Jira tickets while the 19-year-olds build parallel civilizations in Solidity.
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🧾 Congratulations! You Are a Fully Credentialed Fiat Drone™
You have:
1 mortgage
2 degrees
3 credit cards
0 original ideas
You are:
Financially literate (but spiritually bankrupt)
Technically proficient (but existentially irrelevant)
Diversified (but directionless)
You are a marvel of modern immigration policy—a perfectly assimilated vassal with just enough accent to be exotic, and just enough deference to stay manageable.
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đź’¸ Crypto? That's for Scammers and Kids...
You said this unironically while staking your future in the pension fund of a government on the brink of fiscal suicide.
You read about FTX and said “See? Told you it was all a scam.”
Then your super fund lost 30% in bonds and you said, “Markets fluctuate.”
You're not risk-averse.
You're curiosity-averse.
You're self-sovereignty-averse.
You are a fiat maximalist in denial.
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đź”® What Will You Leave Behind?
A LinkedIn resume with 400 connections and no convictions.
A portfolio of ETFs, not experiences.
A child who learns to code a smart contract while you still type .docx.
History won’t remember us as heroes.
It won’t even remember us as villains.
It’ll remember us as… default settings.
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🎠So here lies the grifted generation.
Born brilliant.
Trained obedient.
Paid in fiat.
Retired in regret.
But hey—at least we made it to middle management.
#DrainBrains #GriftedGeneration #CryptoSatire #FiatFools #BitcoinWakeUp #LinkedInLobotomy #BrownButTame
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