kinoko 🍓 on Nostr: i am in more pain every month with worse symptoms, the growths that need to be ...

i am in more pain every month with worse symptoms, the growths that need to be operated are visible, but my doc refuses to operate because i "should have children first" (I can't sleep, do anything due to pain, how the hell should I have children?), i get suggested to take oxycodone and benzos daily instead of operating the root cause, my mood is dropping, i can't work, i am afraid of going to other doctors because last year I collapsed in the ER floor and bled out while getting yelled at to go home for "having bad periods due to being underweight" and "just take painkillers every day", and if i go to a bad doc to have surgery it might make things worse. my hormonal treatment isn't working anymore. meanwhile i am afraid people will judge me for gaps in my resume
i feel like i am losing my mind