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ACT I: The BBQ Hedge
Dave-o and Gazza, two self-made "financial strategists" from the Goldie, are stinking rich in unrealised gains and hungover in real estate debt.
Dave-o, flipping snags at a weekend BBQ, declares,
"Mate, I’m hedging my bets with six investment properties and a crypto ETF that tracks ASX mining stocks. Diversification, ya know?"
Gazza, holding a Tooheys and his third negative-geared property in Logan, nods:
"Thermodynamics is just a theory, bro. Property always goes up. It’s Aussie physics."
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ACT II: The Generational Gambit
Nanna sold the family farm to fund Dave-o’s NFT startup, which pivoted six times and now offers AI-powered astrology for Labradors.
Millie, Dave-o’s niece, 23, working 3 jobs, overhears them and mutters:
"So the plan is... you guys extract debt from land, offload entropy onto the youth, and call it legacy?"
Gazza snorts:
"Nah love, it's called wealth creation. You wouldn’t get it, you didn’t even buy a house at 19 like I did in '03."
---
ACT III: The Thermodynamic Reckoning
As Bitcoin hits $2M and interest rates spike harder than Gazza’s blood pressure, the hedge collapses like a folding chair at Centrelink.
Dave-o screams into the void:
"No one told us energy systems decay! Where was the RBA when the second law of thermodynamics kicked in?!"
Millie, now stacking sats and growing her own veggies, whispers to her AI dog:
"The inertia wasn’t just physical. It was cultural, moral, and deeply dumb."
---
Epilogue:
The BBQ burns out. The sausage sizzles fade. But the entropy?
That sticks around longer than Gazza’s unpaid HECS debt.
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#ThermoTragics #FiatBBQ #SausageOfInertia #GenHustleBurnout #BitcoinExitOnly #AussieSatire
Want a meme image for this too?