Chris Trottier on Nostr: What’s with this pervasive, all-consuming obsession with poutine? It’s like every ...

What’s with this pervasive, all-consuming obsession with poutine?

It’s like every restaurant I visit is hell-bent on serving a thousand variants of this dish. Bacon poutine, miso poutine, chocolate poutine, tofu poutine… the list is unending, and frankly, it’s gotten way out of hand. You can’t even escape it when you go for brunch! They’ll sneak a poached egg onto it and call it breakfast poutine. Is nothing sacred?!

I get it, I really do. Poutine is a comfort food. It’s familiar, it’s filling, it’s savory and indulgent and people go gaga over it. But really, is it THAT good? Does every single dish need to be a riff on poutine? It’s like chefs have collectively forgotten there are other ways to serve potatoes! Mashed, fried, baked, scalloped – these are all valid, delicious options. Yet, we’re stuck in this purgatorial poutine pandemonium where culinary creativity has been stifled!

And let’s talk about the absolutely unholy concoctions some places are serving up in the name of poutine innovation. Chocolate poutine? What heresy is this? Who woke up one morning and decided, “Yes, let’s combine french fries, gravy, cheese curds, and chocolate. That sounds like a good idea.” Is there no line? Have we lost all sense of taste and decency?

Moreover, don’t even get me started on the health implications. Cheese, gravy, fries - that’s not exactly a heart-healthy diet. And no, slapping tofu on top doesn’t magically make it a health food. That’s like sticking a single carrot on a triple-layer chocolate cake and calling it a salad.

It’s become a challenge to find a restaurant that isn’t strangled by the omnipresence of poutine. It’s almost as if chefs are too afraid to deviate from the norm, too timid to venture beyond the established, greasy paths of poutine glory. I’ve had enough! Can we please explore some new territory in the culinary world? Can we possibly come up with other creative, delicious meals that don’t include soaking fries in gravy and cheese?

I don’t need to see any more hipster bars trying to outdo each other with the most outrageous poutine variant. I don’t want to live in fear that my favorite desserts might one day be infiltrated by this poutine madness. So here’s my plea to all the restaurateurs out there: It’s time to let go of the poutine reigns. Embrace variety. Embrace originality. For the love of food, set the poutine free and let us enjoy a diverse, poutine-less menu!