they can be but clients haven't done the work, and half the relays don't fully support auth or restricting access to messages to the people actually in the conversation - my #realy does this, and khatru has the ability to be set that way, but last i looked it wasn't enforcing it properly
if you set up an account on something like nostrudel or coracle and set only 1 relay that your conversation partner also uses, it's pretty damn private... nostrudel is probably more easily set up to fully respect this, you have to double configure on coracle to set it to not try everything and anything, 1 relay for requests, one relay set on your npub's relay list, and that one set as your inbox
the state of this is pretty sad, and the worst part is that auth support is the absolute fundament of making nostr DMs actually work, that's why they don't. most clients don't support and most relays have weak support and leak data like a sieve
mleku
npub1fj…mleku
2024-12-12 14:46:04
in reply to nevent1q…g3h5
Author Public Key
npub1fjqqy4a93z5zsjwsfxqhc2764kvykfdyttvldkkkdera8dr78vhsmmlekuPublished at
2024-12-12 14:46:04Event JSON
{
"id": "4d080201b8cb3e37486fee3f582b6b1fb6630529ef12b31599d7efb2b02a4063",
"pubkey": "4c800257a588a82849d049817c2bdaad984b25a45ad9f6dad66e47d3b47e3b2f",
"created_at": 1734014764,
"kind": 1,
"tags": [
[
"e",
"554b8b1c78eea35664d7ee2d225d2e02088e97f8be0fad7d4c8d0b3ade12cbfa",
"",
"root"
],
[
"e",
"14dc434cced39d64ee0f3a90998520540495218d313a0bb4f17ed62d6ddfba15",
"wss://theforest.nostr1.com/",
"reply"
],
[
"p",
"0d1dd56ae3204328e45f78b1a64ac8f06d227129f775493ebe84cf28250d1ec6",
"",
"mention"
],
[
"client",
"noStrudel",
"31990:266815e0c9210dfa324c6cba3573b14bee49da4209a9456f9484e5106cd408a5:1686066542546"
]
],
"content": "they can be but clients haven't done the work, and half the relays don't fully support auth or restricting access to messages to the people actually in the conversation - my #realy does this, and khatru has the ability to be set that way, but last i looked it wasn't enforcing it properly\n\nif you set up an account on something like nostrudel or coracle and set only 1 relay that your conversation partner also uses, it's pretty damn private... nostrudel is probably more easily set up to fully respect this, you have to double configure on coracle to set it to not try everything and anything, 1 relay for requests, one relay set on your npub's relay list, and that one set as your inbox\n\nthe state of this is pretty sad, and the worst part is that auth support is the absolute fundament of making nostr DMs actually work, that's why they don't. most clients don't support and most relays have weak support and leak data like a sieve",
"sig": "d7f433efb61f16aac8490dcf70c1933ac276ffbde19b8744170b0014eee609eec91b02303ee69499b7268980b07b7c38240a26348de0989b649bef0dc06e5dce"
}