スプリットショックウイルス † on Nostr: Manjaruntu In 2012-2013 I knew a goth girl with blue hair, anxiety, BPD, depression a ...

Manjaruntu (npub1e4x…7y84) In 2012-2013 I knew a goth girl with blue hair, anxiety, BPD, depression a bad household and every other alphabet soup mental illness Tumblr told her she had. She had suicidal, had low self esteem did self harm and I tried help her resist those urges.

Over the next few months I was able to stabilize her emotional state and her mood actually improved, around that time I also started to develop feelings for her because I was emotionally invested in her well-being. Because the way she portayed herself was through self hatred and I thought I was the only person who could help her.

She didn't reciprocate those feelings however she never told me directly she didn't like me or "wanted to just stay friends". Her way of rejecting me was bizarre and from what everyone could tell was just manipulative, she would pretend everything is normal and tell me about her problems, I'd respond and give input or advice, but then she'd gossip about the things we talked about. Apparently she did this for a month and I only found out when my friends told me she actually detest me and thought I was pathetic for feeling sympathetic.

Anyways after we stopped talking I fell into a depression because someone I thought was my friend and had spent an enormous amount of emotional support for someone who actually hated me. It actually started to affect my other friendships because I'd constantly overanalyze, ponder or complain as to how someone could wrong me in such a way or what I did wrong to make her act in such a manner.

Eventually my friends had to yell at me to understand that I was obsessing on the situation and that nothing I do would change it. She's not worth my time, she's an attention whore because she would tell anyone her problems which is what she did. It took me a few years to accept that generally people's problems are not my concern, some people are just evil, manipulative, and deserve their suffering. I just didn't want to believe it because she was pretty and I was naive.

Your situation is not exactly the same but you are over concerning yourself with it, it would be best for you to just get new friends. If I could go back in time and talk with myself I'd call myself a faggot for simping over a BPD whore who's probably strung out on heroin today and to buck the fuck up because I'd be getting a scene gf (real) the very next year.