Gundog on Nostr: This. The most important thing I have observed, as a single man, is that love is ...

This. The most important thing I have observed, as a single man, is that love is grown, not something that happens, and if it isn't growing it is dying. Every good relationship I've ever seen, testifies to being more in love as time passes, always.

What I think the OP thread describes but does not name explicitly is the vicious circle problem of a transactional relationship, sex-for-help and help-for-sex, where refusal of one leads to refusal of both and then spiraling further. Sex-is-love and help-is-love is the actual frame, but both parties have to be willing to break out of the vicious circle.

This returns to the woman problem, and that is where being unreliant on a woman and 'big and strong and masculine' are the best you can do when there is no patriarchy herding women into keeping up their end. You can't make a woman put out for either help or love, because it's a two-way street and you just can't compel the behavior you want.

You have to systematically brainwash and gaslight them.