Now let me tell you about my nightmare.
Thanks to the influence of Wall Street billionaires, HODLing had become such a religion that people preferred to watch their parents die in public hospitals than spend any of their hard-earned sats.
It all started from selling chairs, then it degenerated into not buying new socks and underwear when the old ones had holes in them.
This adoption of a radical “low time preference” lifestyle turned into an excuse to never do anything with your life other than accumulate more bitcoin. Why accumulate more bitcoin, you say?
For no reason, because those guys swore they’d never sell “a single sat”. So they would never move into a nicer house. They would never take a girl on a nice date, make her their girlfriend and start a new life together. They would never even aspire to the sports car dreams of the previous generation of HODLers. They wanted to get buried with their bitcoin just because a fiat billionaire who runs an underperforming company said he would too.
But one day, the billionaire who said he would take the bitcoin to his grave decided to sell. So did his company, which was holding reserves of nearly 1% of the bitcoin supply.
The price plummeted, the mainstream media once again reported the death of bitcoin, but these guys cheered because they could use their $600 paycheck (which they earned from “miming fiat”) to buy 60% more BTC.
“BTFD!”, they would tweet while trying to forget about their failed marriages and the kids who won’t talk to them anymore since they went together on a trip, the car broke and the dad was too “low time preference” to call someone to pick them up… and made the entire family walk on the side of the road to the nearest town where they wouldn’t even get hotel rooms and dinner.
But shortly after the tweet got published, the electric company pulled the plug and the internet provider blocked the service due to failure to pay the bills. That’s also when the Lightning network died, as all the channels were kept by these Raspberry Pi nodes while the rest of bitcoiners had moved on to better layer 2s.
“Have fun staying poor”, echoed through the walls of the sat stacker. In 300 years of HODLing, he would be able to buy the electric company and the ISP at the 2023 fiat valuation.
So with a last ditch effort, the sat stacker decided to dust off his copy of The Bitcoin Standard and finally read past page 5. The book wouldn’t help him to fix his life – but then again, this was never his intention.
