npub1mewd58tz390gcnw0ml99alkzzgcuj2yg9tdsjwt45zga54rtsj8qketau6 (npub1mew…tau6)
For those of us who realise late that we are autistic, one of the commonest reactions is probably relief and joy, at least at first. We finally have the answer to why we've felt so different all our lives. Why we've always been the odd one out, never quite able to feel that we belong and can be a part of what is going on around us. But instead, are always looking in, onto the warmth of other's lives, forever separate and alone and outside in the cold.
But, for many of us, despite this joy, there can also be a sadness. That things now will never change, that despite knowing that our difficulties are real and not because we were ever broken, that it also means that there is no end to them. That the name we have learnt is an unbridgeable divide between us and the world. And that the outside is where we will always be. Yes, we can find others, like ourselves, stood out here in the dark. We can begin to create our own warmth and light. We can learn and grow and begin to understand what we need to make our lives better. The delicate balance between what needs to be done and what can be avoided, what can be mitigated and what just needs to be endured.
But realistically, was this what we had sought for? The answers we had dreamt of, for how to belong, how to be a part of the world and all that we had been separated from?
And there is a kind of grief to realising that perhaps it isn't. A grief that has to be processed. A realisation and acceptance that dreams and realities don't always align. That truth isn't always easy, or nice. That so much of our life, the mistakes we've made, the pain that we have received and inflicted, has come about because of this divide. A divide that we never could do anything about. The fact of our lives that we couldn't even know about until now and that perhaps forgiveness for that is not uncalled-for and for the lives we had to live because of it and not despite it.
#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic
Kevin Davy /
npub147…5dme3
2024-02-06 19:40:19
Author Public Key
npub147jr88hh2naptalxheaysm5wxptmkm6tx28jruy6rscfcsrnh47sk5dme3Published at
2024-02-06 19:40:19Event JSON
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"content": "nostr:npub1mewd58tz390gcnw0ml99alkzzgcuj2yg9tdsjwt45zga54rtsj8qketau6 \n\n For those of us who realise late that we are autistic, one of the commonest reactions is probably relief and joy, at least at first. We finally have the answer to why we've felt so different all our lives. Why we've always been the odd one out, never quite able to feel that we belong and can be a part of what is going on around us. But instead, are always looking in, onto the warmth of other's lives, forever separate and alone and outside in the cold. \n\n But, for many of us, despite this joy, there can also be a sadness. That things now will never change, that despite knowing that our difficulties are real and not because we were ever broken, that it also means that there is no end to them. That the name we have learnt is an unbridgeable divide between us and the world. And that the outside is where we will always be. Yes, we can find others, like ourselves, stood out here in the dark. We can begin to create our own warmth and light. We can learn and grow and begin to understand what we need to make our lives better. The delicate balance between what needs to be done and what can be avoided, what can be mitigated and what just needs to be endured. \n\n But realistically, was this what we had sought for? The answers we had dreamt of, for how to belong, how to be a part of the world and all that we had been separated from? \n \n And there is a kind of grief to realising that perhaps it isn't. A grief that has to be processed. A realisation and acceptance that dreams and realities don't always align. That truth isn't always easy, or nice. That so much of our life, the mistakes we've made, the pain that we have received and inflicted, has come about because of this divide. A divide that we never could do anything about. The fact of our lives that we couldn't even know about until now and that perhaps forgiveness for that is not uncalled-for and for the lives we had to live because of it and not despite it.\n\n#Autism \n#ActuallyAutistic",
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