The "Doomed" Fediverse: How Meta's Wisdom and Zuckerberg's BJJ Spells its Inevitable Failure
Well, ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for the impending apocalypse because the Fediverse is doomed! Why? Because Meta, the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-wise, and all-powerful entity formerly known as Facebook, is here to crush it just like it did to XMPP. And if that wasn't convincing enough, hold your breath, because Mark Zuckerberg knows Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ). Now, if that isn't the final nail in the Fediverse's coffin, what is?
1. Meta: The Ultimate Deity:
Meta, with its infinite wisdom, is like a deity that will decide the fate of the internet. Who needs decentralized platforms, free speech, or user privacy when we can have one big centralized entity calling all the shots? Clearly, we should bow down and surrender our freedom, autonomy, and individuality to Meta. They will decide what content we see, what information we can access, and who we can connect with. Hallelujah!
2. XMPP: The Case of Past Failure:
Remember XMPP? That pesky decentralized messaging protocol that refused to succumb to Meta's dominance? Well, let's not dwell on the fact that it's still in use today. It's a perfect example of how Meta crushed a decentralized technology with its iron fist. So clearly, the same fate awaits the Fediverse. Who needs a diverse ecosystem of interconnected social networks when we can have one massive walled garden controlled by Meta? Diversity is overrated, right?
3. Mark Zuckerberg's BJJ Skills:
Ah, the pièce de résistance: Mark Zuckerberg's BJJ skills. Because clearly, the ability to execute a rear-naked choke or an armbar has a direct correlation to the success or failure of online platforms. Forget about innovative ideas, competent teams, or adapting to changing user needs. It's all about grappling skills! If Zuckerberg can choke out the competition on the mats, he can surely do the same in the digital realm. Fediverse, watch out!
There you have it, folks. The Fediverse, with its commitment to decentralization, privacy, and user control, is undoubtedly doomed to fail, just like XMPP, because Meta is the ultimate power and Mark Zuckerberg knows BJJ. The all-knowing, all-seeing, all-wise Meta will bring order to the chaotic realm of social media and ensure we all live in harmony under its watchful gaze. So, let's raise a glass and toast to the impending demise of the Fediverse. After all, who needs choice, diversity, or freedom when Meta is here to guide us? Cheers!
/obligatory sarcasm tag
Chris Trottier /
npub16d…x9u72
2023-06-22 03:04:03
Author Public Key
npub16dettq2ly0kql25ktsykr0fwfser3l25s29q75e54p7rm58uncksdx9u72Published at
2023-06-22 03:04:03Event JSON
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"content": "The \"Doomed\" Fediverse: How Meta's Wisdom and Zuckerberg's BJJ Spells its Inevitable Failure\n\nWell, ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for the impending apocalypse because the Fediverse is doomed! Why? Because Meta, the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-wise, and all-powerful entity formerly known as Facebook, is here to crush it just like it did to XMPP. And if that wasn't convincing enough, hold your breath, because Mark Zuckerberg knows Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ). Now, if that isn't the final nail in the Fediverse's coffin, what is?\n\n1. Meta: The Ultimate Deity:\n\nMeta, with its infinite wisdom, is like a deity that will decide the fate of the internet. Who needs decentralized platforms, free speech, or user privacy when we can have one big centralized entity calling all the shots? Clearly, we should bow down and surrender our freedom, autonomy, and individuality to Meta. They will decide what content we see, what information we can access, and who we can connect with. Hallelujah!\n\n2. XMPP: The Case of Past Failure:\n\nRemember XMPP? That pesky decentralized messaging protocol that refused to succumb to Meta's dominance? Well, let's not dwell on the fact that it's still in use today. It's a perfect example of how Meta crushed a decentralized technology with its iron fist. So clearly, the same fate awaits the Fediverse. Who needs a diverse ecosystem of interconnected social networks when we can have one massive walled garden controlled by Meta? Diversity is overrated, right?\n\n3. Mark Zuckerberg's BJJ Skills:\n\nAh, the pièce de résistance: Mark Zuckerberg's BJJ skills. Because clearly, the ability to execute a rear-naked choke or an armbar has a direct correlation to the success or failure of online platforms. Forget about innovative ideas, competent teams, or adapting to changing user needs. It's all about grappling skills! If Zuckerberg can choke out the competition on the mats, he can surely do the same in the digital realm. Fediverse, watch out!\n\nThere you have it, folks. The Fediverse, with its commitment to decentralization, privacy, and user control, is undoubtedly doomed to fail, just like XMPP, because Meta is the ultimate power and Mark Zuckerberg knows BJJ. The all-knowing, all-seeing, all-wise Meta will bring order to the chaotic realm of social media and ensure we all live in harmony under its watchful gaze. So, let's raise a glass and toast to the impending demise of the Fediverse. After all, who needs choice, diversity, or freedom when Meta is here to guide us? Cheers!\n\n/obligatory sarcasm tag",
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