satoroca on Nostr: Spring is here. Warmth, sun, longer days and flowers. But all I can think of is cold, ...

Spring is here. Warmth, sun, longer days and flowers.
But all I can think of is cold, firewood, food.
Produce more.
I feel my bones chill and my muscles aching and tense. Like it has been through trauma.

All the time I'm thinking about how can I be more efficient and productive.
How can I improve things in my home and for my family. And it seems to not be enough.
I try to not stop at lacks of resources or money. So it's like a constant hurry and slalom through the equations of the mind.

Protocols go like:
We need this; Then we need some money for it; No money; Then can I do it myself? Sometimes, if not; Can I replace it for something cheaper? Sometimes, if not; what can I do to aim better at it and perhaps obtain that in a long term? How can I endure not having it.

Sometimes it relates to food, sometimes something I need to build, sometimes it's a tool. And all plans seem scattered around with no real force behind them.

So I surround myself with unfinished projects and cheap short term solutions. (So lots of people does because broken money and crashed economy)

Imagine finding cheaper and cheaper solutions to food. To building. To have fun. To play sports. To relate to friends. To move.
Imagine having to count the kilometres you can move today so you can take your child to school tomorrow.
Or imagine falling sick in bed and getting beat up by a simple flu and thinking it was the greatest tragedy.
Imagine losing your loved pets because you can't give them a decent pet life.

Thinking who's next...
Wondering if you can make it through the next winter.
Thinking in terms of firewood and calories.

I'm tired