Ok, I have some feels today. I spent about an hour getting nerve testing on my ulnar nerves, which had previously been slipping out of position and were surgically transposed 20 years ago. The good news is that the nerves are basically functioning ok. I did have a background fear that one day I'd have to repeat the surgeries, but that day hasn't come, and it may never come.
The bad news is that this has nothing to do with my primary disability, really. It's the dizziness and fatigue and ear pain and eye problems.
The promising news is that my next appointment, Sept. 11, is with an otolaryngologist, precisely the person I need to see. This sounds like a possible diagnosis: https://med.stanford.edu/ohns/OHNS-healthcare/earinstitute/conditions-and-services/conditions/PPPD.html
The dissatisfying news is that it sounds like the solution is occupational therapy to learn to ignore your perceptual problems. I had been hoping to have something actually fixable. Sigh.
The anxiety-inducing news is that according to insurance, I'm supposed to go back to work on Sept. 1. That's in a week. I still don't have a diagnosis or much of a direction, and I'm not feeling any better than when I went out. I miss working and my colleagues, but I'm worried I'll be just as useless as I was before I went out.
The hopeful news is that the rheumatologist prescribed me Lyrica, which I just started (again - used to take it years ago and had decent results). I feel a bit flushed and a tiny bit woozy, and my stomach is not quite right, but who knows, maybe this will help. At any rate, it's a treatment, 9 months into this nightmare.
I'm so dramatic.