Ricki Tarr on Nostr: I never realized how much of my life revolved around my Mom. The empty space where ...

I never realized how much of my life revolved around my Mom. The empty space where she used to be is so present. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, not getting her up and ready. I'm in the grocery store, and see a coffee I'd think she'd like, and remember she's not there to drink it anymore. I've worked so hard taking care of other people for so long, I'm struggling on how to take care of myself. I know it's fresh, and I know one day soon, I'll appreciate the increased freedom more, but right now, all I can see is the empty space where she used to be. And the truth is, I don't want to feel better, and just get over it, I want to let the feelings work through me. They aren't bad, they are part of life, because death is a part of life, and people deserve to be grieved. I deserve to have the feelings I'm having, whatever they are.