It is a common tendency among artists and designers to not handle compliments well. There are many reasons for this, but I think it is most often because we see all the faults in a given piece and are therefore unable to accept that others see something worthy of praise. We are quick to respond to a compliment with reasons why it is actually not as good as the person thinks or by pointing out how the piece falls short of our own artistic standards.
Sometimes we simply mistake downplaying our work as being humble. But this is really a false humility. If I am good at what I do—as compliments from other people can bear witness to—denying it is tantamount to lying.
What's more, we often think of pride as boastfulness, but its less obvious form is self-denigration—or even self-pity. The ironic thing about denying my own skill as an artist, or the effective execution of particular work, is that it forces the conversation down an channel of prideful egotism. The person is complimenting me, the artist, yes, but they are likely doing so because something about my work moved them. To then give them reasons why they actually shouldn't be moved makes the whole thing about me in the worst way.
What I have had to learn over the years is that when someone compliments my work, I should ask them what they like about it or how it spoke to them. Most often I give them the social grace of simply saying "thank you."
#grownostr #artstr #design #nostr
Jordan Eskovitz
npub1va…vm9qh
2025-04-02 18:09:07
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2025-04-02 18:09:07Event JSON
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"content": "It is a common tendency among artists and designers to not handle compliments well. There are many reasons for this, but I think it is most often because we see all the faults in a given piece and are therefore unable to accept that others see something worthy of praise. We are quick to respond to a compliment with reasons why it is actually not as good as the person thinks or by pointing out how the piece falls short of our own artistic standards. \n\nSometimes we simply mistake downplaying our work as being humble. But this is really a false humility. If I am good at what I do—as compliments from other people can bear witness to—denying it is tantamount to lying. \n\nWhat's more, we often think of pride as boastfulness, but its less obvious form is self-denigration—or even self-pity. The ironic thing about denying my own skill as an artist, or the effective execution of particular work, is that it forces the conversation down an channel of prideful egotism. The person is complimenting me, the artist, yes, but they are likely doing so because something about my work moved them. To then give them reasons why they actually shouldn't be moved makes the whole thing about me in the worst way. \n\nWhat I have had to learn over the years is that when someone compliments my work, I should ask them what they like about it or how it spoke to them. Most often I give them the social grace of simply saying \"thank you.\"\n\n#grownostr #artstr #design #nostr",
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