Melanie on Nostr: So for me it's always a gut punch whenever I discover a mutual has unfollowed me. ...
So for me it's always a gut punch whenever I discover a mutual has unfollowed me. Particularly if it's someone I thought was a friend.
The unfollow = an instant sledgehammer of RSD followed by lingering stress & anxiety.
Bc of course my brain spirals into immediate self-loathing. Did I do something wrong? Are they just sick of me? That little voice in my head sneers, "See, this is proof everybody hates you..."
(they don't - but my brain absolutely does)
But here's the thing: when a mutual unfollows me, I feel compelled to unfollow back.
I worry they'll think I'm being petty & vindictive. It's not that.
It's that I feel awkward & embarrassed. I read the unfollow as a clear "go away" signal. To keep following feels like I'm still hanging around even tho all the social cues are screaming "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE JUST LEAVE."
So I unfollow & slink away in shame - a feeling that never quite fades away.
#ActuallyAutistic #SocialAnxiety #RSD
Published at
2023-12-27 22:18:22Event JSON
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"content": "So for me it's always a gut punch whenever I discover a mutual has unfollowed me. Particularly if it's someone I thought was a friend.\n\nThe unfollow = an instant sledgehammer of RSD followed by lingering stress \u0026 anxiety.\n\nBc of course my brain spirals into immediate self-loathing. Did I do something wrong? Are they just sick of me? That little voice in my head sneers, \"See, this is proof everybody hates you...\"\n\n(they don't - but my brain absolutely does)\n\nBut here's the thing: when a mutual unfollows me, I feel compelled to unfollow back.\n\nI worry they'll think I'm being petty \u0026 vindictive. It's not that.\n\nIt's that I feel awkward \u0026 embarrassed. I read the unfollow as a clear \"go away\" signal. To keep following feels like I'm still hanging around even tho all the social cues are screaming \"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE JUST LEAVE.\"\n\nSo I unfollow \u0026 slink away in shame - a feeling that never quite fades away.\n\n#ActuallyAutistic #SocialAnxiety #RSD",
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