Oddtail on Nostr: (2/2) 8) This can't be planned for, but y'know the best experiences I've had with cis ...

(2/2)

8) This can't be planned for, but y'know the best experiences I've had with cis people? Them just acting naturally like I'm a woman. Like that time at my last job where the tone of the conversation changed instantly and organically when the last dude left the restaurant (I'm one of the girls, yay!). Or when I was asked whether I was gonna be safe taking an Uber home, last Thursday. This is nothing. Women do that all the time. But guess what. I am not used to being on the receiving end of that. And I melted inside.
9) Help us figure shit out. Especially for trans women, fashion and make-up can be very new. We have no idea what we're doing, often. We call being on HRT "second puberty" and it's not just hormonal stuff. We really can be as clueless as you were when you were 11 or 13. And I don't know about others, but I have no idea how to ask for tips and advice. My mom never taught me stuff your mom taught you. My friends in school never had a chance to viciously mock me for dressing unfashionable (not that I miss that. But I didn't go through that gauntlet and I have *no* experience taken from those battle scars). I don't know what I'm doing with basic shit. Help.
10) This is again subjective and personal and YMMV for any trans people reading this, but cis people of our gender - invite us to stuff. I am personally terrified (and I know some other trans women are) for being perceived - or even gaslighting myself into thinking - that I am just into this whole "woman" thing for surface-level interactions or social perks. I'm not. But it's hard to unlearn fearing that. So like, being asked on a girls' night out, or invited to anything gendered - that helps. As long as it doesn't seem like a pity invite, of course. And don't be surprised if someone refuses. I would die of fear if I were to be asked to be like, a bridesmaid (obviously), and I'd refuse. But, y'know, we're out of that part of being women. For men, no idea what y'all do. Invite the trans guy to a belching contest or sparring session or eat a motorcycle together. Sorry, stupid joke is stupid xP
11) Non-binary people exist. And they're not all the same. Pronouns are not an indicator of gender for EVERY person. More about this from your local non-binary person. I'm not an expert.
12) Cut us some slack. I've never been a victim of transphobic violence, even verbal violence really, but I'm still a tangle of terrified anxiety some of the time. And I'm one of the lucky ones. I may well be in the minority on this.

Please Boost the first Toot if trans (and you don't think I'm egregiously wrong), because my social media environment is so trans, I don't know how many cis people will even see this xD heck, if you're cis, Boost this too.