Jesus: impossible to kill, reproduced asexually. Jesus is canonically a fungus. Clearly the part the Romans crucified was a fruiting body of some kind, leaving the bulk of the organism below ground, safe and secure. And every Easter, we find Jesus' multi-colored spores hidden in dark places. The rabbits tried to warn us. But now it's too late. He's metastasized across the whole planet. Soon enough, he will come again, and when he does, no cross in the world will be big enough to keep him at bay.
*Twilight Zone music intensifies*
Inertial Invites /
npub173…rk7yy
2024-03-27 06:06:09
Author Public Key
npub1738kq9ume2ld62hk7unewn26tcwkpkue7czrnne4vpqtvlcemu8ssrk7yyPublished at
2024-03-27 06:06:09Event JSON
{
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"pubkey": "f44f60179bcabedd2af6f727974d5a5e1d60db99f60439cf356040b67f19df0f",
"created_at": 1711519569,
"kind": 1,
"tags": [
[
"proxy",
"https://beige.party/users/intransitivelie/statuses/112166146490291292",
"activitypub"
]
],
"content": "Jesus: impossible to kill, reproduced asexually. Jesus is canonically a fungus. Clearly the part the Romans crucified was a fruiting body of some kind, leaving the bulk of the organism below ground, safe and secure. And every Easter, we find Jesus' multi-colored spores hidden in dark places. The rabbits tried to warn us. But now it's too late. He's metastasized across the whole planet. Soon enough, he will come again, and when he does, no cross in the world will be big enough to keep him at bay.\n\n*Twilight Zone music intensifies*",
"sig": "82bbd231e70c7c6c3230f22a920f68f26885dcaa9f558fc54c05fdae187a698ca6f46a4030f38dada03bc55626ae2e0200b1f1380f2174ac139732f580705fc2"
}